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Now with our social life in quarantine, calling a friend on a whim feels normal.
“How are you holding up?” Or, “How is quarantine treating you?” Or, “You guys ready to kill each other yet?”
These are very reasonably icebreakers right now, but also exhausting because none of us are doing exceptionally well.
Instead of triggering more anxiety by rehashing your quarantine situations, think about what you can do to make your friends feel good and how to be there for them from a distance.
Tell them they matter to you and that you miss them. Then keep the conversation focused on things that make you both feel good.
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During the pandemic, being at home with a partner reveals the "invisible work" they're doing, which may be taken for granted. This expanded view of ourselves and our partners can go in two directions.
Couples go through harmony, disharmony, and repair. So they will inevitably get into arguments. However, what matters is how you fight. Don't highlight everything negative while taking the positive for granted.
Start by saying to yourself, "What are the one or two things that they have done that I can appreciate?" If you start with that, you will fight differently.
Stay focussed on the one thing that you're upset about at this moment. Don't end up talking about other things.
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If you find yourself posting a lot, ask what specifically you're seeking and if there are other ways that would leave you feeling better.
It's worthwhile to consider what you are posting to the world. Posting stories, tweeting, and messaging lead to back-and-forth responses that glues you to your feeds.
Even if you love a good text conversation, it might mean that you are more online than you otherwise might be.
One solution is to treat your phone like a phone. If you feel uncomfortable phoning, consider informing your friends that you will start calling more often, so they don't assume the worst when they hear your voice.
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We can't wait until we feel better before we act. Emotions perpetuate themselves. We have to move now and break the cycle of our feelings. This is how we grab hold of happiness.
Create a balance between leisure activities and mastery.