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How To Talk About Literally Anything Else

https://forge.medium.com/how-to-talk-about-literally-anything-else-118b46a40fd0

forge.medium.com

How To Talk About Literally Anything Else
Here's how to stay social in quarantine without making your family, friends, or yourself more anxious about the pandemic.

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Exhausting icebreakers

Now with our social life in quarantine, calling a friend on a whim feels normal.

“How are you holding up?” Or, “How is quarantine treating you?” Or, “You guys ready to kill each other yet?”
These are very reasonably icebreakers right now, but also exhausting because none of us are doing exceptionally well.

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How you can stay social

Instead of triggering more anxiety by rehashing your quarantine situations, think about what you can do to make your friends feel good and how to be there for them from a distance.

Tell them they matter to you and that you miss them. Then keep the conversation focused on things that make you both feel good.

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Conversation suggestions

  • What’s something that made you smile or laugh this week?
  • What was the highlight of your day or week?
  • What have you been watching recently?
  • Have you read any good books or articles?
  • What’s your favorite podcast right now?
  • What have you been enjoying about working from home?
  • What have you been cooking?
  • Have you ordered out from any good restaurants lately?
  • What is making you feel most productive right now?
  • What is making you feel most at peace right now?
  • Have you found any fun ways to be creative?
  • What’s the most absurd thing you’ve seen on social media recently?
  • Where are you finding a sense of purpose right now?
  • What hobbies are you leaning into?
  • What are you doing to relax?

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Concerning emotional support

  • What can I do to support you right now?
  • What is making you feel better?
  • When you think about next year, what makes you the most excited?
  • When have you felt the most supported in the past week or so?
  • When have you felt most hopeful in the past week or so?

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Concerning life and relationships

  • What’s your first memory of me?
  • What’s your favorite memory of us together?
  • How did you meet your best friend or other best friends?
  • What’s an uncommon belief you hold?
  • What’s something you’d like to learn more about?
  • What is the most exciting thing you’ve learned in the past few months?
  • How do you define trust? What do you do to show trust in relationships?
  • What’s something I don’t already know about you?
  • What are your hidden talents?
  • What do you consider your biggest life accomplishment?
  • What’s your favorite childhood memory?
  • What person had the biggest positive impact on you as a child, and why?
  • Who do you really look up to, and why?

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Comments that can help

  • I love you.
  • I miss you.
  • We’ll get through this together.
  • I’m here for you.
  • I was thinking about you recently when I saw/read…
  • I’d love to tell you about my day.
  • I’m grateful to be able to talk to you.
  • Let me tell you about this amazing show I’m watching/podcast I’m listening to/book I’m reading…
  • Let me tell you about this amazing recipe I made…
  • Remember that time when we…
  • When this all ends, I can’t wait to do… with you.

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  • Start by saying to yourself, "What are the one or two things that they have done that I can appreciate?" If you start with that, you will fight differently.

  • Stay focussed on the one thing that you're upset about at this moment. Don't end up talking about other things.

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Use your phone for its main purpose: calling people

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The Balance Between Leisure And Mistery

  • Pleasure is vital, but we want the kind that will last and not leave you even more stressed than before you started. We're looking for a deeper satisfaction that comes from truly meaningful activities like relationships, exercise, and reading.
  • Mastery can be thought of as a feeling of accomplishment. Progress in goals that are meaningful to you, whether it pays the bills or not.

Create a balance between leisure activities and mastery.