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How to Help Your Relationship Survive a Lockdown

How to Help Your Relationship Survive a Lockdown
The strain that the coronavirus is putting on our lives is immense. And it is affecting most relationships in some way. As a licensed psychotherapist specializing in relationship therapy, I've received many emails and calls in the past few weeks from concerned people worrying that their relationships were not going to make it.


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Relationships during lockdown

Relationship struggles make perfect sense these days.

  • We’re stuck inside our homes, forced to spend more time together than ever before. 
  • We’re relying on a partner for almost all of our social support because we can’t meet our friends and family.
  • We're trying to find a balance between new responsibilities (working from home, child care or housekeeping).




Nurture yourself

Nurture yourself

It’s not fair and realistic to expect your partner to be your only source of stress relief:

  • Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
  • Spend five to 10 minutes every day journaling.
  • Meditate.
  • Move your body.
  • Reach out to friends and relatives, without your partner by your side.

You have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of others.



Take the time to plan

Take the time to plan

Make a plan for how you’re going to handle as a team everything that you have to do.
Create a shared calendar with all of your tasks and responsibilities, and block specific hours for when you’re going to do them. Take the time for weekly meeting, to plan the week ahead.



Daily check-ins

Your partner is going through the same emotions that you are. It can be useful to stop and ask each other questions like:

  • “What was your day like today?”
  • “What sorts of feelings are coming up for you right now?”
  • “Are there any ways I can support you or be a better partner to you?”



Set healthy boundaries

Spending all that time together with your partner may lead to tensions. Set some healthy boundaries:

  • If you’re both working from home, designate separate work spaces, if possible.
  • Try to give each other space during the day. It’s normal to need alone time.
  • Be creative with date nights.
  • Practice appreciation and gratitude.




Improve Any Relationship

  • Acknowledge the opinions, feelings and needs of others
  • Be more open to suggestions and compromises
  • Give 100% of your attention to the job
  • Spend ...

Responding To Urgency

Stay-in-love couples are authentic, open, and self-reliant, but they also urgently need one another at times. They trust each other won’t take advantage of their availability but know&n...

Dealing Constructively With Control

Stay-in-love partners know that the need to feel in control at times is natural and that it offers an opportunity for learning and helping each other. Partners have confidence in their own autonomy to not react defensively or take it personally. 

Parenting Each Other

As relationships mature, many begin to feel less willing to give that kind of unconditional nurturing, and might not be as available. 

Stay-in-love couples understand the importance of not letting those special “sweet spots” die. They know that their partner sometimes needs to feel that guaranteed comfort and safety, and are more than willing to act as the good parent when asked. 

3 more ideas

Rekindling the Fire

Many couples have reached a cozy state of companionship. The humdrumness of life affects the long-term relationship.

It is not uncommon to lose the 'fire' and is unrealistic to expect consis...

Love Progression

As the initial stage of love fades away, a deeper, richer sense of each other should take its place, and couples can find more ways to make things interesting and fun.

Look With New Eyes

Staying curious about each other and finding things, memories, places, and activities that are yet to be shared or experienced together is a great way to rekindle the relationship.
Revisiting your past and finding ways to connect better by looking at the other with 'new' eyes makes us see many things that were overlooked earlier.