No experience is in itself a cause of success or failure. We did not suffer from the shock of our experiences - the so called trauma - but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining

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The Courage to Be Disliked

The Courage to Be Disliked

by Ichiro Kishimi

Do you feel that a certain trauma is holding you back from feeling happy at this point of life?

The concept of causality, in which a certain cause will lead to a certain effect or action, is the school of etiology. Whereas Adlerian psyschology follows the school of teleology, in which a certain purpose or goal will lead to certain actions.

Following the concept of teleology then raises the question, "why did you choose to be unhappy?" - the choice might have been made unconsciously at any point of time - maybe due to childhood trauma.

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Lifestyle can be defined as the tendencies of thoughts and actions in life. We can choose to change or to not change our lifestyle.

If we're unhappy at this point in life, we most likely have the desire to change.

But we believe that we can't change. What's holding us back? Excuses. We subconsciously create excuses that it's impossible to change because we lack of courage to change.

In short, the decision to change tests courage. We have that courage when we accept what we are born with and make use of that equipment to be happy.

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