5 scripts to help you deflect nosy questions, stop advice-givers, fend off criticism and more

• If you want to share something with a friend or colleague who likes to offer their opinion, say: "I want to share what's going on and would appreciate it if you can listen without offering advice or criticism."
• Another way to stop auto-advice: "At the moment, I'm not looking for feedback. I would love it if you could just listen with compassion."
• In relationships: "I love that you are always willing to help me. But right now, I appreciate it if you list and have faith that I'll come to a solution by myself."

When a friend, family member or colleague makes a rude comment and then says," I'm just honest," you may feel inclined to accept their words. Don't. If you know them to be genuine, you will know when to be open to their feedback.

Comments about how you wore the wrong dress or how bad your hair looks, say something like:

• "I don't recall asking you."
• "What you call 'honesty,' I call 'giving me unsolicited criticism.' Please don't."

When someone has crossed a line, you should open up the conversation alerting the other person to your feelings, concerns, or objections.

Some conversation starters:

• "I thought you should know..."
• "I wanted to bring something to your attention. I felt uncomfortable when.."
• "I want you to be aware of my feelings about what happened..."