Setting boundaries in your daily life can protect you from 'harmful experiences': Here are 3 tips to get you started

People want to feel seen and being unable to have your needs met equates to you not being seen in relationships.

Setting boundaries means knowing your own limits about what you will and won’t tolerate. This is important because it is the first step in protecting yourself from experiences that would be harmful to you if you allowed them.

Telling people what you need can also lead to increased feelings of empowerment and control over your own life experience.

“It’s okay if you text me, but I can’t respond until after work.”

“I just need 30 minutes to complete this task, and then we can talk.”

“I know I said I was available tonight, but I think I do need a quiet night at home.”

But...if you're still hesitant on speaking up to set your boundaries clear, use the 3 Tips for Setting Boundaries in your Daily Life

1. Unlearn self-neglect
2. Think about time as “finite”
3. Use ‘I’ statements

Taking care of your own needs before or in tandem with those of your loved ones can often be painted as “selfish,” but it’s not.

Self-neglect is not a way to show how much you care for others. In relationships, both parties can choose what they want and need.

Unlearn that you shouldn’t have boundaries.

Start to tell yourself that you deserve to have preferences as this can be a helpful step toward speaking your needs and desires.

Saying “yes” to everything a boss, friend, family member, or even partner asks you to do leaves very little energy for you to pursue what makes you happy.

Boundaries around how you spend your time and allow others to use it are essential. Thinking about time as finite, not infinite, can make people more aware of how important and impactful their time is.

Keep it clear and concise without overexplaining yourself. Your boundaries are about you. Communicate in ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements. And instead of explaining the problem, focus on what you need as that is what boundary is all about.

For example, instead of telling a friend not to talk about a specific topic in front of you, communicate that it’s unhealthy for you to participate in conversations about that topic.

Healthy boundaries are not saying, ’you can’t talk to me that way', it is rather saying, ‘if you talk to me that way I will remove myself from this conversation.

It’s important to keep in mind that not everyone will respect your boundaries even if communicated compassionately.

It is important to accept that anyone who is angered by your boundaries might be "toxic" in your life, so it's important for you to rethink to what capacity you want them in your life.