How to Become a Master at Talking to Strangers - Deepstash

Keep reading for FREE

Talking To Strangers

Talking To Strangers

According to psychologists, talking to strangers can be taxing on the brain, and even small talk can seem stressful, tiring and cognitively demanding.

On the flip side, talking to strangers is a kind of workout that boosts our mental performance.

1.22K

11.1K reads

Triggering Conversations In A Suspicious World

Talking to strangers is worth it, as it offers a certain profound joy, a real communion. If more people start talking to strangers, our broken society can be healed.

  • The hardest thing about talking to strangers is the initiation of the conversation.
  • One has to approach with confidence yet provide an assurance that they are safe and don’t have any ulterior motive or agenda.
  • Older people initiate conversations more than younger ones.

1.16K

5.07K reads

From Really Bad To Okayish

Most of us are laughably bad at striking up good conversations with strangers, and can hope to improve ourselves if we learn what all is lacking to break the ice.

The conversation is mostly initiated by small talk, the opener that gets everything started. Most people hate small talk, but one cannot talk to strangers without initiating the conversation with something familiar and reassuring.

1.14K

4.58K reads

Talking About The Weather: One Of The Most Common Conversation Starters

Many people hate it when the small talk is of the weather, but fail to understand that it is actually a kind of code that helps people overcome their inhibitions and be ready to actually talk to the other person.

Once the person who has been approached feels comfortable, real talk can happen.

Everyone is interested in a really deep, engaging conversation, but they will not show it, and it is up to us to discover the same.

1.17K

3.76K reads

Going Unscripted

We use scripted conversations to be on the safe side, as we fear that saying any unscripted word can trigger something unwanted in the other person.

While scripted conversations are efficient, they deny us the actuality of the other person, the stranger who may be just a friend we haven’t met yet.

By talking off-script or replying in a unique, unheard of manner, we make it comfortable for the stranger to mirror us and say something similar.

1.14K

3.32K reads

Being Human

Asking something specific and humorous to a stranger is a risk, but if the timing is right, one can give a great first impression about being complex, empathetic, humourous and human.

Once the stranger recognizes you as a human, a bond is created and real conversation can start.

1.14K

3.6K reads

Doing Conversation Starters Differently

  • When at a party, don’t ask ‘What do you do?’, instead, ask ‘What do you really want to do but cannot?’ or ‘Has your day lived up to your expectations?’
  • When a store clerk asks you ‘can I help you?’, reply with ‘can I help you?’

The point is to be different and vulnerable so that you sound intriguing and yet do not come across as a psychopath!

1.21K

3.59K reads

Helpful Techniques To Talk Better With Strangers

  1. Proximity: Suddenly meeting a stranger and asking something will almost certainly fail. One has to be in the proximity of the stranger for a while to be accepted.
  2. Don’t Make It An Interview: Being too interested in the other person can backfire. You need not lean forward, ask questions quickly or interrogate them.
  3. Statements: Use statements instead of questions to sound non-threatening.
  4. Surprise: Be genuinely interested in learning something new and try to gain a fresh perspective.

1.22K

3.22K reads

Why We Don’t Talk To Strangers

The main reason we don’t talk to strangers is simply because we don’t talk to strangers. People are simply not supposed to violate the norm of leaving other people alone at back alleys, parks and subways.

The trick is to acknowledge this handicap and pre-frame the negative thoughts of the other person by reassuring them that you know you are breaking the norm.

1.13K

2.87K reads

The Stranger On The Subway: Asking Questions

  • Asking more questions, especially follow-up questions, is more than just for gathering information. 
  • They help create deep, emotional bonds and make the other person feel better as they are being listened to, understood, validated and cared for.
  • Most people don’t ask enough questions about the other person as they are egocentric and are ready to fill in their two cents to the ongoing talk.

Most people sound despicable because they just keep on talking about themselves.

1.14K

2.44K reads

The Art Of Listening

  • While talking to strangers, we need to signal our engagement by summarizing or paraphrasing what the other person has said, to show that we were listening attentively.
  • We need to amplify our visible engagement with eye contact and nodding, as the other person does not know us at all, and is relying on the cues we send out.

1.17K

2.61K reads

The Art Of Listening: The Echo

Another way to signal your attentive listening is to simply echo what the other person is saying.

Example:

The Stranger says: At that moment, I felt frustrated.

You: You were frustrated.

1.14K

3.42K reads

Listening For A Higher Purpose

Listening can be for:

  • Information
  • What we know about
  • What we want to experience.

We need to work more into the deep levels of listening for motivations, values and feelings.

1.14K

3.18K reads

CURATED BY

rosaliep

Stashing about leadership and communication. Avid reader.

Conversation starters to connect with anyone you meet.

Ready for the next level?

Read Like a Pro

stash-superman-illustration

Explore the World’s

Best Ideas

200,000+ ideas on pretty much any topic. Created by the smartest people around & well-organized so you can explore at will.

An Idea for Everything

Explore the biggest library of insights. And we've infused it with powerful filtering tools so you can easily find what you need.

Knowledge Library

Powerful Saving & Organizational Tools

Save ideas for later reading, for personalized stashes, or for remembering it later.

# Personal Growth

Take Your Ideas

Anywhere

Organize your ideas & listen on the go. And with Pro, there are no limits.

Listen on the go

Just press play and we take care of the words.

Never worry about spotty connections

No Internet access? No problem. Within the mobile app, all your ideas are available, even when offline.

Get Organized with Stashes

Ideas for your next work project? Quotes that inspire you? Put them in the right place so you never lose them.

Join

2 Million Stashers

4.8

Stars

5,740 Reviews

App Store

4.7

Stars

72,690 Reviews

Google Play

samz905

Don’t look further if you love learning new things. A refreshing concept that provides quick ideas for busy thought leaders.

Shankul Varada

Best app ever! You heard it right. This app has helped me get back on my quest to get things done while equipping myself with knowledge everyday.

Ashley Anthony

This app is LOADED with RELEVANT, HELPFUL, AND EDUCATIONAL material. It is creatively intellectual, yet minimal enough to not overstimulate and create a learning block. I am exceptionally impressed with this app!

Sean Green

Great interesting short snippets of informative articles. Highly recommended to anyone who loves information and lacks patience.

Ghazala Begum

Even five minutes a day will improve your thinking. I've come across new ideas and learnt to improve existing ways to become more motivated, confident and happier.

Giovanna Scalzone

Brilliant. It feels fresh and encouraging. So many interesting pieces of information that are just enough to absorb and apply. So happy I found this.

Laetitia Berton

I have only been using it for a few days now, but I have found answers to questions I had never consciously formulated, or to problems I face everyday at work or at home. I wish I had found this earlier, highly recommended!

Jamyson Haug

Great for quick bits of information and interesting ideas around whatever topics you are interested in. Visually, it looks great as well.

Read & Learn

20x Faster

without
deepstash

with
deepstash

with

deepstash

Access to 200,000+ ideas

Access to the mobile app

Unlimited idea saving & library

Unlimited history

Unlimited listening to ideas

Downloading & offline access

Personalized recommendations

FAQ

Claim Your Limited Offer

Get Deepstash Pro

BLACK FRIDAY

75% OFF | 1-Year Pro Subscription

Claim Offer