Advice to Young Men

You can’t wait to date until your life is perfect and you feel completely ready - that doesn’t exist.

The other person you want isn’t flawless with complete confidence either. They are a person with insecurities, fears, and flaws just like you. So don’t think you have be perfect before you ask them to get coffee.

One more push up won’t make the difference on whether your soulmate spots you or not.

You can grow together, learn from each other, and if you can accept yourself as you are today and accept that they aren’t perfect either, then you are ready.

There’s no reason to wait....

THINKING only takes you half way, DOING takes you all the way.

WILLINGNESS

• is readiness to enter and participate fully in life and living.

WILFULNESS:

• is refusing to tolerate the moment
• is refusing to make changes when needed
• is giving up
• is the opposite of “doing what works”
• is trying to fix every situation
• is insisting on being in control
• is attachment to “me, me, me” and “what I want right now!”

Replace willingness with wilfulness:

1. OBSERVE the wilfulness. Label it. Experience it.
2. RADICALLY ACCEPT that at this moment you feel (and maybe acting) wilful. You cannot fight wilfulness with wilfulness.
3. TURN YOUR MIND towards acceptance and willingness.
4. TRY HALF-SMILING and a WILLING POSTURE.
5. When wilfulness is immovable, ASK “WHAT’S THE THREAT?”

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What are some situations you notice willingness and wilfulness?

One big misconception people have about emotions is there are good and bad ones.

We should not identify specific emotions as being good or bad as there is a reason why we feel what we feel.

For example, people often relate envious emotion (the feeling of wanting something that someone has because we lack it) as a bad thing. Rather we need to use envy to strive for what we don't have to improve ourselves and achieve what we want in our lives.

There will be situations where you will be afraid and fear cannot be stopped. 

Don't fight something you cannot stop, rather learn to CONTROL YOUR RESPONSE to fear by understanding, acknowleding, perservearing through your fears.

Every time fear comes at you in life, you will learn to acknowledge it, control your response easier, and move on.

If you do not know how to do something, give it a go regardless. 

Acknowledge making mistakes is a good practice in life. 

We simply will never succeed by NOT failing.

I have always believed it is a good thing when you fail. 

Failing or things not going your way is a learning lesson that builds your character in the long run.

Every person needs a code; a set of values and morals that you live by and CANNOT be changed by an outside threat. 

These morals and values shape who you are and what your purpose in life is. 

Codes are developed through experiences, learning, observing others ethics and you will eventually get tested where you will need to choose between your morals or outside pressure. 

What you do from there on will determine if these ethics are cemented in who you are.

There is no timeline for when you need to reach a certain milestone in your life. 

Everyone reaches their milestones at a different pace. 

Who cares when someone has achieved something quicker than you have. Take your time, do it right, because you will get there if you keeping trying. I promise.

Your responsibility in life is to question everything that comes your way. 

Never take what people say definitively without questioning and research.

Find a person that provides useful insight into life. 

The things that person shares should be of value to your life; the mistakes your mentors made, the good decisions they made. 

Everything this mentor share IS a learning lesson.

Being brave puts you out of your comfort zone, allowing you to face new challenges, hardships, and experiences which inevitably will build your strength of character. 

These challenges will test your limits and help you reach new high points in life. 

A person that does NOT grow is a person who is static and not growing up.

No person in this world is independent. We all need each other to grow. 

Find like-minded people that want the same thing as you, and by working together, you exchange information and learn things you may not know which will help you be the best version of yourself.

The day we stop forgiving is the day we poision our own hearts with bitterness and spiral our relationships downward towards ongoing anger and isolation

Some people are like clouds, once they go away the day gets brighter. 

Get rid of the toxic people in your life that make you feel bad about who you are. 

You should be able to look at your friends say to yourself, "These guys always have my back"

Saying no is paramount to your mental health. Learn to assert your boundaries, value your self-respect and say no to things you don't want to do. 

If you see something your friends are doing and you don't want to do, learn to say no and walk away. 

Freinds do not peer pressure, they support your decisions. 

People will make fun of you, call you names. Be assertive, say no and walk away.

You are young. There are things we want in life; relationships, money, a sweet car, etc.

Be patient, live the process of growing up and working because you will eventually get there. 

As young people, you are full of energy, you want to take over, be the leader, etc. 

STOP, take your time and build yourself by letting those that are older with experience lead. WATCH them, ASK questions and BUILD your vocabulary from them. 

Learn to listen.

As young people, you want to be the top dog, you want to lead.

Learn to understand, you may not have the qualities, knowledge, skills and experience as to someone who is older and has experience.

Use this time to step back, LISTEN, LEARN and GROW your skills for the future to have effective leadership skills.

Talking excessively does not make you a leader. 

Telling people what to do does not make you a leader.

Inspiring through your actions and taking care of those around you makes you a leader. 

Being silent is just as important as communicating. 

Leadership is about listening and formulating a strategy for your team after everyone has shared their knowledge and opinions. 

Leaders eat last.

Don't buy anything you cannot buy outright if you own a credit card. 

With your weekly income, designate certain percentages of your money to other causes, like paying rent or utilities. 

Be efficient with your funds. 

Avoid debt.

Never have expectations from anyone. Do not rely on people to deliver for you. Having expectations from people to give you something will make you constantly think if they will or not deliver and may eventually will lead to disappointment when not delivered. Try to solve problems yourself as it will help you learn new ideas.