Advice to Young Men - Deepstash

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DATING LIFE HACKS

DATING LIFE HACKS

There are many dating life hack and quick fixes for a lonley life. It's not only disingenuine, it also doesn't work. This type of material you find online are only about one thing, and that is taking money from your wallets.

If there is one thing that absolutely works, it is rather investing in those 'pick-up programs', invest in yourself.

It's not about memorising a cheesy pickup line a YouTuber told you to say, but becoming the best version of yourself will open opportunities in all aspects of your life, not only dating.

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HOW TO BECOME GREATER

HOW TO BECOME GREATER

How can we, as people, become better?

Communication: People are more responsive when you seem interested in their lives. Start to ask good follow-up questions, and actively listen to what they say.

Hobbies: Hobbies help us find communities, make friends, and prevent us from staying in our own head too long. Having a few hobbies you are excited about helps because enthusiasm is attractive.

Health: Take on a physical activity program or participate in weekend sports. It won't only make you physically healthy, but mentally too.

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WHEN ARE YOU READY?

WHEN ARE YOU READY?

You can’t wait to date until your life is perfect and you feel completely ready - that doesn’t exist.

The other person you want isn’t flawless with complete confidence either. They are a person with insecurities, fears, and flaws just like you. So don’t think you have be perfect before you ask them to get coffee.

One more push up won’t make the difference on whether your soulmate spots you or not.

You can grow together, learn from each other, and if you can accept yourself as you are today and accept that they aren’t perfect either, then you are ready.

There’s no reason to wait....

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THINKING & DOING

THINKING & DOING

THINKING only takes you half way, DOING takes you all the way.

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WILLINGNESS & WILFULNESS

WILLINGNESS & WILFULNESS

WILLINGNESS

  • is readiness to enter and participate fully in life and living.

WILFULNESS:

  • is refusing to tolerate the moment
  • is refusing to make changes when needed
  • is giving up
  • is the opposite of “doing what works
  • is trying to fix every situation
  • is insisting on being in control
  • is attachment to “me, me, me” and “what I want right now!

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WILLINGNESS & WILFULNESS #2

WILLINGNESS & WILFULNESS #2

Replace willingness with wilfulness:

  1. OBSERVE the wilfulness. Label it. Experience it.
  2. RADICALLY ACCEPT that at this moment you feel (and maybe acting) wilful. You cannot fight wilfulness with wilfulness.
  3. TURN YOUR MIND towards acceptance and willingness.
  4. TRY HALF-SMILING and a WILLING POSTURE.
  5. When wilfulness is immovable, ASK “WHAT’S THE THREAT?”

What are some situations you notice willingness and wilfulness?

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EMOTIONS

EMOTIONS

One big misconception people have about emotions is there are good and bad ones.

We should not identify specific emotions as being good or bad as there is a reason why we feel what we feel.

For example, people often relate envious emotion (the feeling of wanting something that someone has because we lack it) as a bad thing. Rather we need to use envy to strive for what we don't have to improve ourselves and achieve what we want in our lives.

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LEARN TO BE BRAVE

LEARN TO BE BRAVE

There will be situations where you will be afraid and fear cannot be stopped. 

Don't fight something you cannot stop, rather learn to CONTROL YOUR RESPONSE to fear by understanding, acknowleding, perservearing through your fears.

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EXPERIENCES WITH FEAR

EXPERIENCES WITH FEAR

Every time fear comes at you in life, you will learn to acknowledge it, control your response easier, and move on.

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MAKE MISTAKES

MAKE MISTAKES

If you do not know how to do something, give it a go regardless. 

Acknowledge making mistakes is a good practice in life. 

We simply will never succeed by NOT failing.

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FAILURE

FAILURE

I have always believed it is a good thing when you fail. 

Failing or things not going your way is a learning lesson that builds your character in the long run.

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DEVELOP A CODE AND LIVE BY THEM

DEVELOP A CODE AND LIVE BY THEM

Every person needs a code; a set of values and morals that you live by and CANNOT be changed by an outside threat. 

These morals and values shape who you are and what your purpose in life is. 

Codes are developed through experiences, learning, observing others ethics and you will eventually get tested where you will need to choose between your morals or outside pressure. 

What you do from there on will determine if these ethics are cemented in who you are.

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AT WHAT AGE SHOULD I PEAK?

AT WHAT AGE SHOULD I PEAK?

There is no timeline for when you need to reach a certain milestone in your life. 

Everyone reaches their milestones at a different pace. 

Who cares when someone has achieved something quicker than you have. Take your time, do it right, because you will get there if you keeping trying. I promise.

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MY RESPONSIBILITY IN LIFE?

MY RESPONSIBILITY IN LIFE?

Your responsibility in life is to question everything that comes your way. 

Never take what people say definitively without questioning and research.

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FIND A MENTOR

FIND A MENTOR

Find a person that provides useful insight into life. 

The things that person shares should be of value to your life; the mistakes your mentors made, the good decisions they made. 

Everything this mentor share IS a learning lesson.

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COMFORT ZONE

COMFORT ZONE

Being brave puts you out of your comfort zone, allowing you to face new challenges, hardships, and experiences which inevitably will build your strength of character. 

These challenges will test your limits and help you reach new high points in life. 

A person that does NOT grow is a person who is static and not growing up.

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YOU NEED HELP

YOU NEED HELP

No person in this world is independent. We all need each other to grow. 

Find like-minded people that want the same thing as you, and by working together, you exchange information and learn things you may not know which will help you be the best version of yourself.

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FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS

The day we stop forgiving is the day we poision our own hearts with bitterness and spiral our relationships downward towards ongoing anger and isolation

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FRIENDSHIPS

FRIENDSHIPS

Some people are like clouds, once they go away the day gets brighter. 

Get rid of the toxic people in your life that make you feel bad about who you are. 

You should be able to look at your friends say to yourself, "These guys always have my back"

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ASSERTIVENESS

ASSERTIVENESS

Saying no is paramount to your mental health. Learn to assert your boundaries, value your self-respect and say no to things you don't want to do. 

If you see something your friends are doing and you don't want to do, learn to say no and walk away. 

Freinds do not peer pressure, they support your decisions. 

People will make fun of you, call you names. Be assertive, say no and walk away.

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BE PATIENT... RELAX

BE PATIENT... RELAX

You are young. There are things we want in life; relationships, money, a sweet car, etc.

Be patient, live the process of growing up and working because you will eventually get there. 

As young people, you are full of energy, you want to take over, be the leader, etc. 

STOP, take your time and build yourself by letting those that are older with experience lead. WATCH them, ASK questions and BUILD your vocabulary from them. 

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LEADERSHIP

LEADERSHIP

Learn to listen. 

As young people, you want to be the top dog, you want to lead. 

Learn to understand, you may not have the qualities, knowledge, skills and experience as to someone who is older and has experience. 

Use this time to step back, LISTEN, LEARN and GROW your skills for the future to have effective leadership skills.

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YOU TALK TOO MUCH

YOU TALK TOO MUCH

Talking excessively does not make you a leader. 

Telling people what to do does not make you a leader.

Inspiring through your actions and taking care of those around you makes you a leader. 

Being silent is just as important as communicating. 

Leadership is about listening and formulating a strategy for your team after everyone has shared their knowledge and opinions. 

Leaders eat last.

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CAN I AFFORD IT?

CAN I AFFORD IT?

Don't buy anything you cannot buy outright if you own a credit card. 

With your weekly income, designate certain percentages of your money to other causes, like paying rent or utilities. 

Be efficient with your funds. 

Avoid debt.

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EXPECTATIONS

EXPECTATIONS

Never have expectations from anyone. Do not rely on people to deliver for you. Having expectations from people to give you something will make you constantly think if they will or not deliver and may eventually will lead to disappointment when not delivered. Try to solve problems yourself as it will help you learn new ideas.

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CURATED BY

darakeramati

I admire people who desire and understand the long term effects of personal growth. I hope my messages help you achieve great things in yourself and others.

My Advice to People

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