Thinking of Ghosting Someone? Why You Should Think Again
Curated from: thehealthy.com
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What Is Ghosting And Why Do People Do It?
It is what it sounds like: suddenly disappearing (from a relationship); like a ghost.
The term is usually used in the context of a (burgeoning) romantic relationship, but it happens in (long term) friendships as well.
Emotionally stunted people do this because it's easy.
- They fear confrontation and don't know what healthy communication looks like.
- They have already mentally moved on and just stop talking to avoid the difficult conversation.
- They lack empathy and understanding.
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Effects Of Being Ghosted
Being ghosted is hurtful. No matter if you know someone for a short or a long period of time.
Loving someone or having deep real (even platonic) feelings for them, can make it intensely painful and will most likely leave long-term (mental) scars.
Effects are:
- At best - being confused, self-conscious and concerned.
- At worst - doubting and questioning your self-worth, having lots of unanswered questions and getting no closure.
You would feel discarded or thrown out. It's the most painful thing a human can experience.
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ABOUT THINKING GHOSTING IS A GOOD THING TO DO
"It’s a lie you are telling yourself—you are pretending like someone is not hurt when they really are."
CLAIRE POSTL
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66 reads
What To Do Instead Of Ghosting Someone?
- Use direct communication, no matter how hard it is. It will provide a sense of closure and finality.
- Do it in person. This way both participants will feel heard.
- Do it at a respectable time. For instance, don't do it right before someone has to go to work.
- Practise before or write it down. This way you can keep your thoughts clear.
- Use "I" statements. Keep the focus on how YOU feel, not what they might have done wrong.
- Give kind feedback if someone wants questions answered.
- Accept that it will hurt for both you and them. And that's okay.
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WHEN GHOSTING ÍS NEEDED
"If you are ending a relationship where you are worried that your partner will react in a violent or abusive way: Put your safety first and in the case of abuse, ghosting is often the best and safest option."
RAMANI DURVASULA
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