Calibrated questions are that give the customer service representative a chance to pause and take your perspective.
You can ask, "what would you do in my situation?" or "I really wasn't expecting to wake up to this unexpected charge – what do you think I should do next?" This helps them collaborate with you instead of having a standoff.
A quick way to lose trust? Asking for their manager. Instead, you want to have the representative advocate for you to their manager – and they can't do that if you're threatening to get them in trouble with their boss.
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handling a customer service person.
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