You're not a procrastinator. You have a habit of procrastinating. Big difference.

One might think that procrastination is about the thing or task which one is procrastinating around, mostly at work. Mel Robbins postulates that, in fact, procrastination has nothing to do with work.

Misconception about procrastination

Apart from work, we tend to have a lot of things going in our lives, like fights with our significant others, ill family members, financial concerns and so on. Whatever problems we have, we carry them with us all the time, no matter where we are or what we do. Now, imagine going to work with this big stress ball subconsciously hanging over your head, knowing you have many tasks ahead of you, easy ones as well as those that make you uncomfortable like phone calls with some higher ups. For a while you keep yourself busy with easy work, but sooner or later you need to make those calls.

The root cause of procrastination: Stress

That is the moment your brain kicks in like "Wait a minute, you want me to make a call to somebody whom I'm afraid of? Absolutely not! Let's just watch some cat videos for a minute, will we?" And next thing you know, one hour has passed. The moment you realize it, you tend to beat yourself up, only making things worse by adding even more stress.

Procrastination is a form of (instant) stress relief

The good news: This behavior is learned, meaning it is a habit and not a bad personality trait. Habits can be broken with a science based approach.To break this habit of procrastinating (e. g. seeking short dopamine kicks to avoid negative emotions), one first needs to know the structure of habits, which consist of three elements: <ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Trigger: In case of procrastination the trigger is always stress, according to Mel Robbins.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Repeated behavioral pattern (e. g. habit): Here, it is the procrastination itself, meaning avoiding something.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reward: The reward of procrastination is a little stress relief.</li></ol>

Breaking out of the procrastination cycle: Understanding the structure of habits

To break a bad habit, you must change at least one of the three components. In case of procrastination, this can only be the behavior pattern itself, as the trigger – stress – will always be present. So, the next time you catch yourself checking your phone or busying yourself with insignificant tasks instead of doing what matters, do the following steps: Acknowledge the stress, redirect your attention and interrupt the procrastination habit.

Breaking out of the procrastination cycle: Three-steps-plan to beat procrastination

Stop what you are doing and say to yourself "Oh, I must be stressed about something." Recognizing your emotional state is the initial step towards altering your behavior.

1. Acknowledge the stress

Now, count 5-4-3-2-1 to wake up your prefrontal cortex (e. g. breaking the autopilot). A habit is something we do in autopilot mode, letting our subconsciousness lead the way. Counting backwards reactivates our conscious mind and interrupts the pattern.

2. Redirect your attention

Focus on one task and work on it for just five minutes. The reason why you should work for only five minutes is to remind yourself that work is not the problem but the habit of avoiding. You just need to start to disrupt the avoidance pattern. Another positive effect: Based on research, 80 % of people who manage to start working for only five minutes are going to continue their work.

3. Interrupt the procrastination habit

This short video delves into the idea that procrastination is more of a behavior pattern than a inherent aspect of a person's character, indicating that it can be addressed using a method rooted in scientific understanding.

Ready to unlock your potential? 🚀 https://bit.ly/2024makeithappen 👈 Sign up for my FREE 2-part training, Make It Happen with Mel Robbins. It’s designed to show you exactly HOW you can go from dreaming to doing!
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If you keep finding yourself stuck in that loop of stress and avoiding the things you know you need to do, WATCH THIS. 

I give you my tools for dealing with procrastination… I know they’ll work for you too.

If you struggle with procrastination, you're not alone. Research from a PhD at the University of Calgary found that 80–95% of college students are procrastinators. 

There's also nothing wrong with you. You don't lack willpower, drive, and focus. It also has nothing to do with your work and your ability to get it done. 

If you beat yourself up for procrastinating, that ends now. And here's why:

You're looking at procrastination wrong. Rather than a trait or sign of motivation, it's simply a habit.

A habit that comes about in response to life stress.

In this video, learn the only way you can break the habit of procrastination–for good. This simple 4-step strategy will help you stop procrastinating and in the process make you happier and less stressed.

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productivity

Productivity

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mindfulness

Mindfulness

timemanagement

Time Management

videos

Videos

NY Times Best Selling Author + Award Winning Podcast Host with 5x #1 best selling audiobooks on Audible.

Mel Robbins

The ONLY Way To Stop Procrastinating | Mel Robbins

“DREAMS ARE THE SEEDS OF TOMORROW’S REALITY; PLANT THEM WITH CARE AND NURTURE THEM WITH ACTION”.

WORDS TO LIVE BY

“Cultivate Curiosity; Asking Questions Leads To A Deeper Understanding Of The World And Yourself”

“The Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With A Single Step, But It’s The Persistence That Brings You Home.”

“The Secret Of Being Strong is Enduring The Pain And Understanding The Pain, For There Is A Reason To That Pain.”

“YOU ARE FOOLED BY YOUR MIND INTO BELIEVING THERE IS TOMORROW SO YOU MAY WASTE TODAY”

philosophy

Philosophy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

education

Learning & Education

If we could learn to handle our envy correctly, if we think it through with sympathy and skill, then it could play a key role in alerting us to what we genuinely want. Envious thinking can be the gateway to deeper self-knowledge and a profound understanding of our underlying ambitions.

Envy - A Warning To Know Our True Ambitions

We feel envy when someone else has access to an area of happiness that eludes us. The natural response to this feeling is shame; we feel we lack the generosity of spirit to celebrate their achievement. Perhaps we feel guilty for not sufficiently appreciating the lot we have. Yet envy, while uncomfortable, provides us with a message from confused but important parts of our personality about what we should be doing.

Think What Makes You Envious

Instead of trying to repress our envy, we should examine it. Each person we envy is a piece of the jigsaw puzzle that is our future. There is a portrait of a ‘true self’ waiting to be assembled out of the envious hints we receive when we turn the pages of a newspaper or hear updates about the successes of old school friends or witness a friend’s excitement about a new career move. We should calmly ask one essential and redemptive question of all those we envy: ‘What could I learn about here?’

Act On The Emotion?

How Can the infamous emotion, 'Envy', be our friend?

A guide to identifying, nurturing and growing our insight and creativity for more effective thinking. We know that our minds are capable of great things because, every now and then, they come out with a very brilliant idea or two. However, our minds are also tantalisingly unpredictable, spending worryingly large stretches of time idling or distracting themselves. This is a book about how to optimise these beautiful yet fitful instruments so that they can more regularly and generously produce the sort of insights and ideas we need to fulfil our potential – and achieve the contentment we deserve. We learn – among other things – how to grasp fragile and flighty thoughts before they disappear through anxiety and fear, at what times of day to try to work and for how long, how to make use of our boredom and instincts – and how to overcome timid and predictable approaches to the largest problems.

mentalhealth

Mental Health

books

Books

The School of Life

How to Think More Effectively

Identify Patterns: Keep a mood record to recognize what impacts your mood positively or negatively.Break the Isolation Cycle: Increase your engagement in positive activities and social interactions to counteract depression.Focus on Vision and Attention: Pay close attention to your life and addressing issues proactively.

Self-Comparison for Improvement: Measure your progress against your past self rather than others, aiming for consistent improvement.Embrace Humility and Learning: Acknowledge the limits of your knowledge and remain open to learning, which fosters growth.Recognize Intrinsic Value: Understand your own worth and potential for positive impact, treating yourself with kindness and striving for betterment.Commit to Positive Actions: Dedicate yourself to making positive changes honestly and wholeheartedly.

•	Maintain a daily log to track mood and activities.	•	Schedule regular social activities and outings.•	Set daily or weekly personal improvement goals.•	Reflect on what you’ve learned each day and how you can apply it moving forward.

Actionable Tips:

This is clip from yesterday's special release from the Beyond Order Tour. In it, Dr. Jordan Peterson speaks to his Dublin audience about the positive feedback loop of depression, and how ancient civilization mythologized aim.

Dr. Peterson's extensive catalog is available now on DailyWire+: https://bit.ly/3KrWbS8

ALL LINKS: https://linktr.ee/drjordanbpeterson


// COURSES //
Discovering Personality: https://jordanbpeterson.com/personality
Self Authoring Suite: https://selfauthoring.com
Understand Myself (personality test): https://understandmyself.com

// BOOKS //
Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life: https://jordanbpeterson.com/Beyond-Order
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: https://jordanbpeterson.com/12-rules-for-life
Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief: https://jordanbpeterson.com/maps-of-meaning

#JordanPeterson #JordanBPeterson #DrJordanPeterson #DrJordanBPeterson #DailyWirePlus

problemsolving

Problem Solving

meditation

Meditation

Jordan B. Peterson is a Canadian professor of psychology, clinical psychologist, YouTube personality, best-selling author and host of the #1 Education Podcast, "The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast". Watch the entirety of Dr. Peterson's catalog on DailyWire+: https://utm.io/ueJdK

This channel features videos from his classes, his podcasts, interviews, book tours and lectures. You can watch the incredibly popular lecture series "Personality and Its Transformations", "Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief", as well as his "The Psychological Significance of the Biblical Stories" lectures for free.

Connect with Dr. Peterson:

JBP Newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/jordanbpeterson.com/youtubesignup
Podcast: https://jordanbpeterson.com/podcast/
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Jordan B Peterson

Taking the First Step

" As you learn the secret, you will come to know how you can have, be, or do anything you want, you will come to know who you really are. You will come to know the true magnificence awaits you in life. - from introduction of the secret book.For more information on the film version of the secret visit www.thesecret.tv.

Introduction

Like Aladdin's Genie, the law of attraction grants our every command.• The Creative Process helps you create what you want in three simple steps: ask, believe, and receive. • Asking the Universe for what you want is your opportunity to get clear about what you want. As you get clear in your mind, you have asked• Believing involves acting, speaking, and thinking as though you have already received what you've asked for, the law of attraction moves people, events, and circumstances for you to receive. • Receiving involves feeling the way you will feel once your desire has manifested.

How To Use The Secret

<ul><li>Expectation is a powerful attractive force. Expect the things you want, and don't expect the things you don't want. </li><li>Gratitude ,be grateful for what you have and what you want</li><li>Visualization. When you visualize, you generate powerful thoughts and feelings of having it now. The law of attraction then returns that reality to you, just as you saw it in your mind. </li></ul>To use the law of attraction to your advantage, make it a habitual way of being, not just a one-time event.

Powerful Processss

• To attract money, focus on wealth. It is impossible to bring more money into your life when you focus on the lack of it. • use your imagination and make-believe you already have the money you want, you will feel better about money• Feeling happy now is the fastest way to bring money into your life. • look at your desire and say to yourself, "I can afford that. I can buy that." You will shift your thinking and begin to feel better about money. • Give money in order to bring more of it into your life. When you are generous with money and feel good about sharing it, you are saying,

To Attract Money

• When you want to attract a relationship, make sure your thoughts, words, actions, and surroundings don't contradict your desires. • Your job is you. Unless you fill yourself up first, you have nothing to give anybody. • Treat yourself with love and respect, and you will attract people who show you love and respect. • When you feel bad about yourself, you block the love and instead you attract more people and situations that will continue to make you feel bad about you. • Focus on the qualities you love about yourself and the law of attration will show you more great things about you.

To Attract Relationship

The placebo effect is an example of the law of attraction in action. When a patient truly believes the tablet is a cure, he receives what he believes and is cured. "Focusing on perfect health " is something we can all do within ourselves, despite what may be happening on the outside. Laughter attracts joy, releases negativity, and leads to miraculous cures. Disease is held in the body by thought, by observation of the illness, and by the attention given to the illness. Imagine yourself being healthy and happy living your best life

For Health

• Everything is energy. You are an energy magnet, so you electrically energize everything to you and electrically energize yourself to everything you want. • You are a spiritual being. You are energy, and energy cannot be created or destroyed—it just changes form. Therefore, the pure essence of you has always been and always will be. • The Universe emerges from thought. We are the creators not only of our own destiny but also of the Universe. • An unlimited supply of ideas is available to you. All knowledge, discoveries, and inventions are in the Universal Mind as possibilities, 👇🏻

The Secret To You

waiting for the human mind to draw them forth. You hold everything in your consciousness. 
• We are all connected, and toe are all One. 
• Let go of difficulties from your past, cultural codes, and social beliefs. You are the only one who can create the life you deserve. 
• A shortcut to manifesting your desires is to see what you want as 
absolute fact. 
• Your power is in your thoughts, so stay aware. In other words, 
"Remember to remember."

Continue Above Text

• You get to fill the blackboard of your life with whatever you want. • The only thing you need to do is feel good now. • The more you use the power within you, the more power you will draw through you. • The time to embrace your magnificence is now. • We are in the midst of a glorious era. As we let go of limiting thoughts, we will experience humanity's true magnificence, in every area of crea-tion. • Do what you love. If you don't know what brings you joy, ask, "What is my joy?" As you commit to your joy, you will attract an avalanche of joyful things because you are radiating joy.

The Secret To

These are the summaries from the book - the secret Happy reading ✨

Ending

This book will help you understand life and the power of your thoughts and positive thinking.

The tenth-anniversary edition of the book that changed lives in profound ways, now with a new foreword and afterword. In 2006, a groundbreaking feature-length film revealed the great mystery of the universe—The Secret—and, later that year, Rhonda Byrne followed with a book that became a worldwide bestseller. Fragments of a Great Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. For the first time, all the pieces of The Secret come together in an incredible revelation that will be life-transforming for all who experience it. In this book, you’ll learn how to use The Secret in every aspect of your life—money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction you have in the world. You’ll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that’s within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life. The Secret contains wisdom from modern-day teachers—men and women who have used it to achieve health, wealth, and happiness. By applying the knowledge of The Secret, they bring to light compelling stories of eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcoming obstacles, and achieving what many would regard as impossible.

Rhonda Byrne is an Australian television writer and producer, best known for her New Thought works, The Secret—a book and a film by the same name. By the Spring of 2007 the book had sold almost 4 million copies, and the DVD had sold more than 2 million copies. She has also been a producer for Sensing Murder. According to an article published by Australia's Herald Sun, Byrne has also worked on the Australian TV series World's Greatest Commercials and Marry Me. In 2007, Byrne was listed among Time Magazine's list of 100 people who shape the world.

Rhonda Byrne

The Secret

Thoughts occur to us randomly. Thinking is what we intend to do. It is not something that naturally occurs to us.Thoughts are inspiration.Thinking is desperationGreat ideas come in the state of Non-Thinking. Thoughts come directly from our subconscious mind and it’s the combination of the gut feeling and desire.We always think about things out of desperation. We try to rationalize some decision, not because we want to do it, but because we are being forced by some external force to do it.

Thoughts VS Thinking

Thinking is the root cause of all suffering.Feed yourself this sentence everyday. Before sleeping, after waking up, before and after stepping into the bathroom, wherever you possibly can.Realize that most of the stuff is not in your control. If you can’t control it, then you shouldn’t think about it.

How to stop thinking

Most people do what society tells them to do. Do what you love the most, whether it be writing, teaching, starting a YouTube channel, becoming a historian regardless of how much it pays or how much respect it brings you.Money and fame is not in your hands. Allah has already written the money and fame you are going to receive, so why not do something you love.Your gut tells the truth. The Gut Feeling is just a thought from your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is a very complex machine.A thought from the subconscious mind is a sign from the Universe, The God.

Trust the Gut

Who said you have to figure out how to do certain things?You just need to know what you want, but not the how.You don’t have to solve the problem. The God Almighty has already given you a tool to solve complex problems; The Subconscious Mind.Henry Ford had very little formal education, but he had a strong intuition that he could revolutionize transportation by making automobiles affordable for the average American. His trusted on his intuition and everything followed.

But if I don’t think, how will I do anything?

The outcome is completely out of your control. What is in your control is the effort that you put into the work.By repeating to yourself that your goal is important, your subconscious mind starts sending signals to your conscious mind, prompting you to improve your efforts.📚If this article helped you, then I’m sure <a href="https://binsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribe">my free weekly newsletter</a> will help you a lot in growing and gaining clarity every week to stay strong 💪

You have no control

If you are like me, you constantly think about things. Our brain forces us to think, because it is necessary for survival. But what we don’t realize is that, this thinking is destroying us. Let me explain.

Not thinking changed my life forever

‘Don’t forget to reward yourself when you reach a milestone or short-term goal by inviting wholesome activities you enjoy afterward.’

Heal Your living

Focus on positives: friends, family, hobbies. ☺️

It’s important to make time for yourself. 

Embark on a transformational journey with this easy-to-use minimalist, mindful guide to physical and emotional decluttering from the founder of Heal Your Living, the Youtube lifestyle channel with over 250,000 subscribers Heal Your Living is about more than just getting rid of your stuff: it's a holistic approach to a more fulfilling life, in harmony with your deepest aspirations. Youheum Son, the founder of the Youtube lifestyle channel with over 250,000 subscribers, identifies four areas that comprise the Heal Your Living approach: <li>Mindfulness: Meditation and insight</li><li>Sustainability: Low-waste, eco-friendly lifestyle</li><li>Minimalism: Simple living</li><li>Wellness: Self-care and healing</li> Separated into these four sections, this guide contains easy-to-use daily reflections for emotional and physical decluttering, as well as journaling prompts, planners, checklists, affirmations and mantras. With Youheum's guidance, you can recognize a better way of living and arrive at a turning point to release negative habits. You can freely choose to let go of the past and focus your full attention on healing to live fully without limiting beliefs. The decision to heal will bring you health, a positive mental attitude, and a balance between mind, body, and spirit.

habits

Habits

Youheum Son

Heal Your Living

Words can often be deceptive or misleading, but the body rarely lies. It unwittingly gives away clues about a person’s true feelings and intentions.From something as obvious as crossed arms indicating defensiveness or discomfort, to subtler cues like dilated pupils signaling interest or excitement, body language is a tell-tale sign of what’s really going on inside someone’s mind.Ever noticed a friend’s foot tapping impatiently during a conversation? Or an acquaintance avoiding eye contact during a chat? These are all elements of body language that provide deeper insights into their mindset.

Body language

In the world of people reading, body language is king.

I remember a time when I was having a conversation with a friend who kept mentioning how busy she was. She talked about her endless to-do lists and how there were never enough hours in the day.On the surface, it seemed like she was just venting, but with active listening, I was able to pick up on something more.Her voice had an undertone of exhaustion, and there was a hint of frustration every time she talked about her workload. She made subtle remarks about feeling undervalued and overlooked.That’s when I realized – she wasn’t just busy. She was overwhelmed and burnt out.

Active listening

Active listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about reading between the lines and understanding the underlying message.

The way a person speaks can be just as revealing as what they say. The tone, pitch, speed, and volume of someone’s voice can all give you insights into their state of mind and emotions.For example, a person speaking in a lower tone or slower pace may be feeling sad or depressed. On the other hand, rapid speech may indicate excitement, anxiety, or even deception.Another thing to note is the change in someone’s usual <a href="https://study.com/academy/lesson/the-style-of-a-speech.html">speaking style </a>. If you know someone well and they start speaking in a way that’s unusual for them, it could be a sign that something is off.

Tone and voice modulation can speak volumes

It’s all about tuning into the nuances and understanding what they signal. So, if you’re good at picking up these vocal cues, then you’re well on your way to becoming a pro at reading people.

Consider a time when someone was sharing a heartfelt story with you. You might have noticed their eyes welling up, their voice shaking, or even the way they clutched their hands together nervously.These <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-emotions-2795178">emotional responses </a>can tell you a lot about what they’re truly feeling. And if you’re able to not only notice these subtle signs but also respond to them with empathy and understanding, you’re truly mastering the art of reading people.

Emotional responsiveness is key

One of the most profound skills in reading people is recognizing their emotional responses. It’s about connecting on a deeper level , empathizing with what they’re experiencing.

Sometimes, it’s not just about reading what’s in front of you, but also noticing when things are different from the norm.I recall having a colleague who was usually the life of the party – always upbeat, always cheerful. But over time, I noticed a change. He became quieter, less energetic, and somehow distant.At first, I thought he was just having a few off days. But as the pattern continued, I realized that something was wrong. When I approached him about it, he confided in me about the personal issues he was dealing with.

Noticing changes in behavior

Noticing changes in behavior can be a powerful tool in understanding people better. It’s about being observant and sensitive to shifts in someone’s usual demeanor or habits.

Maybe you’ve met someone new and instantly felt a sense of unease, though they haven’t done anything wrong. Or perhaps, you’ve sensed tension in a room the moment you walked into it.These feelings don’t happen by accident. They’re your intuition picking up on subtle cues that your conscious mind might have missed.<a href="https://geediting.com/moments-in-life-when-you-should-listen-to-your-intuition-according-to-psychology/">Trusting your intuition </a>doesn’t mean jumping to conclusions without evidence. It’s about recognizing your initial feelings and then observing more closely for other signs or behaviors that confirm your instinct.

The power of intuition

Intuition can be your best ally when it comes to reading people. It’s that gut feeling you get about someone or something, even if you can’t quite put your finger on why. If you often find your gut feelings to be accurate, it’s a clear sign that you’re good at reading people. Trust these instincts, but always remember to balance them with logical reasoning and observation.

While all these signs and behaviors are essential in reading people, the most crucial thing to remember is the context. A person’s actions or responses can significantly vary depending on their cultural background, personal history, current environment, or even their mood that day. So, while it’s important to be observant and intuitive, it’s equally critical to consider the broader picture.

Understanding context is vital

Understanding the context can often make the difference between accurately reading someone and completely misjudging them.

We might not always get it right, and that’s okay. As humans, we’re complex beings full of contradictions. But the effort to understand one another, to tune into those subtle behaviors and silent signals, speaks volumes about our capacity for empathy . Being skilled at reading people isn’t just about decoding behaviors; it’s about reaching out, connecting, and understanding one another on a deeper level.

It's all about empathy

People reading isn’t a superpower or an elusive art known only to a select few. It’s rooted in our innate ability to empathize – to understand and share the feelings of others.

No matter how good you get at reading people, respect for their personal space and privacy is paramount. Use your skills to foster positive relationships and promote understanding – not to pry or manipulate.

IT'S ALL ABOUT EMPATHY!

parenting

Parenting

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

If you recognize these 7 subtle behaviors, you’re an expert at reading people

The depth of my consciousness causes me to suffer. The only way out is through.

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

creativity

Creativity

Depth 

Something that science has been confirming to us, and something that people often learn in therapy, is that we have more power to influence our emotions as we thought we have.

Our mood is not only influenced by our thoughts – yes, they might contribute to a low mood but they are not the only influence. Our mood is mainly made up by our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and our behaviour.It is hard to notice them separately but that it is exactly what we can do to deal with low mood: Break down how you feel into what thoughts you have, what emotions you feel, what your senses experience and how you were and are behaving. Then, you can pick one or a few of these things and change them.

Understanding Low Mood

When we experience low mood, it may have been influenced by several factors from our internal and external world, but when we understand what those influences are, we can use that knowledge to shift it in the direction we want it to go.

When dealing with mood, it is essential to remember that it is not all in your head. It’s also in your body state, your relationships, your past and present, your living conditions and lifestyle. It’s in everything you do and don’t do, in your diet and your thoughts, your movements and memories. How you feel is not simply a product of your brain.

We can’t just press a button and produce our desired set of emotions for the day. But we do know that how we feel is closely intertwined with the state of our body, the thoughts we spend time with and our actions. Those other parts of our experience are the ones that we can influence and change.

We often spiral into even more negative mood states because when feeling low, we often lack the energy to perform our favourite activities that delight us. Hence, after a certain period of time, we end up feeling worse. Engaging in activities that give us instant relief, such as scrolling through social media, are just as harmful.Reflect on how you deal with certain emotions and whether or not these coping strategies are actually helpful.

Breaking Low Mood Cycles

Thoughts influence our mood and our mood influences our thoughts, which is why we are even more prone to biased thinking when feeling low:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Mind-reading: Making assumptions about thoughts and feelings of other people.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Egocentric thinking: Thinking that everyone shares the same values etc. as you do and judging based on that assumption.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Emotional reasoning: Thinking that because you feel a certain way, it must be true.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Musts/shoulds: Having unrealistic expectations.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">All-or-nothing thinking: Thinking in extremes.</li></ul>

Thought Biases

Reflect on past moments that were good or bad. Do you recognise any of these biases?By reflecting on past moments regularly, with times it becomes easier to notice thought biases in the very moment they occur. With that comes the power to recognise that they are not facts but simply biases – they might not be true. You don’t have to find an answer, in fact, there might not even be one, so learn to be okay with not knowing.

Dealing With Thought Biases

“If we can acknowledge that each of our thoughts presents just one possible idea among many, then we open ourselves up to the possibility of considering others.”

It is almost impossible to control what thoughts arrive at your brain, but you can control how much attention you give them. Trying not to think about something is counterproductive. Instead, choose how long you want to stay with each thought.Metacognition (thinking about thinking) helps to create distance between you and your thoughts. With that, you can analyse them and think of where you would rather want them to go.When noticing any thought spirals and rumination, say stop, get up and move around a little. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude help with moving your attention consciously.

Controlling Your Thougths

“The power of any thought is in how much we buy into it. How much we believe it to be true and meaningful.”

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Be compassionate with yourself and speak to yourself as you would to a friend.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">When feeling low, it is hard to make decisions, so don’t try to make the perfect ones and instead try to make “good enough” decisions. Smalls steps help you in the long run and build a habit.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">When analysing your emotions and problems, always think about the direction you want to take. Focus on where you want to go and how you might get there. What would you feel, how would you think and behave, what would your physical sensations be?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Focus on mental health basics such as exercise, sleep, diet and social interaction.</li></ul>

How To Deal With Bad Days

There are two types of having no motivation:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Procrastination: Avoiding something because it is associated with stress and discomfort.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Anhedonia: No longer enjoying activities you used to enjoy. It is associated with depression.</li></ul>You can increase motivation by:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Physical movement, even if it is just a little.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Remembering your goals and staying connected with them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Focusing on small but consistent progress and habits, instead of big goals that are hard to keep up with.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Learning how to rest and relax.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Changing how you think about failure and treating yourself with compassion.</li></ul>

Motivation

“Once you sustain the habit of prioritizing your healthy behaviours, they will sustain you.”

“Science tells us about the things that work for most people. But the detail you can establish from looking at your own life with curiosity adds significant value.”

“If something matters to you and could benefit your health, don’t wait until you feel like it – do it anyway.”

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">When an emotion tells you to not do an actions that aligns with your values, do the opposite of what the emotion suggests.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Build a habit: Make it simple, adjust your environment, make clear plans, reward yourself, know why you want the change.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Break bigger goals down into small steps. Take time to rest and recharge.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Pre-plan what you will do in hard situations that trigger you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Know who you want to be and how you want your life to look like. What decisions would you have made?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Figure out the pros and cons of both the change you want to and of changing nothing.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reflect on your past.</li></ul>

Doing Things You Don't Want To Do

"The more we repeat an action the easier it becomes for the brain to do it with less effort in the future.”

“Repeat a behaviour enough times and it will become a habit.”

“The most effective way to solve a problem is to understand the problem inside out.”

“You cannot change what you cannot make sense of.”

Emotions are neither good nor bad. They aren’t facts but simply a possible perspective. Don't push them away, as this will lead to worse problems in the long run. Instead, ask yourself curiously what this emotion is trying to tell you.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Soothe yourself using tools that make you feel safe: You can create a little box with pictures of loved ones, a bag of tea, a book etc. that you can turn to.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Name the emotion specifically: Use a feeling wheel such as then one from Wilcox (1982) to find out what exactly you are feeling. If you don’t find a name, create your own name.</li></ul>

Dealing With Emotion

“You are not your feelings and your feelings are not who you are.”

“If there is something emotions are useful for, it’s telling us what we need.”

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Show that you care. Listen closely, ask open questions. Don’t give advice unless they ask for it. Help them by cooking a meal etc.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They usually have an idea of what they need, ask them how they would like to be supported.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Take care of yourself. Have a space where you can express your own thoughts and meet your needs. Set boundaries.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Create a crisis plan so that you and the person struggling know what to do in a specific situation.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">If they have a diagnosis, learn more about it. There will be ups and downs in their healing journey. Seek professional help.</li></ul>

How To Support Someone

There are five stages of grief:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Denial: Denying the situation, saying it is just temporary.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Anger: Being angry at the person, situation or the unfairness of our world. It is associates with pain or fear, so look at what might be really going on. Perfom physical activities.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Bargaining: Ruminating about “what if" and things you could have done better.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Depression: Feeling sad and empty. This is part of the process. Don't surpress it. Feel and soothe your way through it.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Acceptance: Starting to accept the sitaution. You might not agree with it but you open yourself up to new things.</li></ul>

Stages Of Grief (Kubler-Ross, 1969)

William Worden (2011) described four tasks of mourning:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Accept the new reality after the loss: It is okay to feel whatever you are feeling. Have no expectation about how you should be feeling or healing.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Work through the pain of grief: Don’t push the emotions away and instead try to express them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Adjust to an environment with the loved one missing:  Take small steps and build a life around the loss.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Find a way to stay connected to them while also engaging with life as it is now: It is possible to remember the loved one and continue living at the same time.</li></ol>

The Tasks Of Mourning

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Continue to have a relationship with the person you have lost.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Build a relationship with yourself. Focus on the feelings and sensations in your body to build awareness. Listen to your needs.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Express the grief in a way that you feel comfortable with.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Take as much time as you need.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Set boundaries with the people around you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Create a routine and bring a little structure into your day. Take care of your mind and your body through exercise, diet, sleep etc.</li></ul>

Pillars Of Strength (Samuel, 2017)

Criticism and disapproval often have nothing to do with who you are as a person. People are often critical with others because they are highly critical with themselves. Learning how to deal with criticism healthily can be a crucial skill.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Shift your mindset around failure: Use it as an opportunity to grow and improve.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Let go of criticism that reflect the values of others but that are not aligned with your own. Identify whose opinions matter most.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Understand that people often are more focused on themselves as they are on you. This is called the spotlight effect (Gilovich & Savitsky, 2000)</li></ul>

Dealing With Criticism

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