Imagine being surrounded by people.Someone says something that sounds familiar. It’s a story you already lived. And you want to share your experience.You clear your throat and wait for the best opportunity to slide in. Then, you start talking. And for a moment, everything seems fine. Everybody focuses on you. But as you go ahead, they lose interest.

When People Lose Interest

That’s the worst thing that could happen to your storytelling abilities. But don’t panic!I’ve made these mistakes myself – hundreds of times. And I can guarantee you can fix them. There’s no need to feel guilty or needy. But you must get to the heart of the problem.

The Worst Feeling When Telling A Story

First, you must understand why people are distracted when somebody’s telling a story.Be careful – I don’t care about <a href="https://www.cosmopolitanmindset.com/20-dangerous-time-wasters-and-why-you-should-stop-them/">generic distractions </a>we use to waste time. I am talking about those that occur during a conversation.I made many mistakes myself while becoming a better storyteller. And I found at least three reasons why people stop listening.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">They lose interest in your story because there’s no added value to what you’re saying.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">An external interference catches everyone’s attention before you hook them with your story.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Or people didn’t notice you were telling a story.</li></ul>

Why do people get distracted?

When I was younger, I knew nothing about storytelling.People didn’t listen to me. They found me boring. And they had no problems saying that to my face. But I was so afraid of losing them that I accepted everything.After years, my confidence grew, and I didn’t accept those behaviors anymore. And as I started to speak up, everybody hooked on my confidence. So, here are five storytelling mistakes that almost ruined my life and a few solutions to fix them.

5 Storytelling Mistakes That Almost Ruined My Life

Pook hooks have always been my weak point – a strong admission by someone who claims to be a writer.But, in my defense, writing hooks and using them while speaking is different.When you talk to people, you don’t have too much time to think about a great hook. You may hook them with experience and instinct, or you may not.

1 – Using poor hooks. (1)

People won’t listen to your story if you don’t have a strong hook. They will get distracted by everything:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">their smartphones</li><li class="ql-align-justify">another story</li><li class="ql-align-justify">or even a random thought wavering through their mind.</li></ul>So, how can you fix this problem?

1 – Using poor hooks. (2)

There are plenty of ways you can keep people hooked to your story. But these two do wonders.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Use foreshadowing to present an unexpected consequence. People will want to know how you got there.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Start with a question to make people think. They will want to share their story and pay attention to find an entry point.</li></ul>

How to Keep People Hooked

Any investment expects a return. And you may want to gain something when you invest your time in somebody’s story.You’re reading this article for the same reason – there are lessons you want to know. And you apply the same while listening to someone, even if you don’t realize it.So, as I did with the headline, the value of the story should always be some of the first things you share. The link with the audience fades out when the value isn’t clear. And if you keep making this mistake, everybody will stop listening and find a way out.

2 - Giving unclear value.

Giving value is simple when you know your story’s goal. So, before sharing value, ask yourself – what’s this story about?<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Your value may be excitement if your story is funny.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">It might be empathy if you’re trying to build an emotional connection.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Or you may share a life update. In that case, the value would be your current situation.</li></ul>Every time you tell a story, put your value first. Prepare people for what they are going to get once you finish. Let them know if your story is fun, sad, exciting, unbelievable, etc. Put your value first, and they will keep listening.

How to Give People Value

Confident people attract others – there’s nothing you can do about it. And there are many ways you can become more confident.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">You can fake it until you make it. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">You can use self-irony. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Or you can <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/the-secrets-of-charisma">become more charismatic </a>by applying the rules I shared in many of my articles.</li></ul>But one thing will impact your storytelling more than anything else – your body language. Confusing body language will give people time to get distracted and lose empathy with your story. So, even if you did everything correctly, they will lose interest and find a way to leave.

3 – Using confusing body language.

Improving your <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/how-to-improve-your-body-language?utm_source=publication-search">body language skills </a>will improve your life. But storytelling only needs two things.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">First, you must make eye contact with the right people. In each group, a few people define what the group does. And if you catch their attention, the group will listen to you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And second, you must speak out loud. Don’t give people the impression you are not confident about your story. And don’t be afraid they won’t listen. Many people may not hear you and ignore your story if your voice is low.</li></ul>

How to Use Body Language

Go to the point. And do it fast.You must tell people how you reached the expected result of your foreshadowing in under two minutes. Otherwise, they will stop listening.Don’t worry if it’s not perfect or if there are some missing parts. If they’re interested, they will ask. But for god’s sake – don’t make us wait five minutes for a story we might not even enjoy.If I were your only listener, I would leave you pending if you ever try to do something like this to me.

4 – Telling long stories.

Keep it short — it is a simple suggestion. But doing it, it’s challenging.How do you make a story short?What do you keep? And what do you remove?<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Follow the 5W method and say a sentence for each question – who, when, where, what, why.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Could you focus on what you foreshadowed in the hook?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And keep everything under two minutes. Leave further information for later. Hiding some parts of the story could also be beneficial and intriguing.</li></ul>

How to Tell Short Stories

You will never become a good storyteller if you don’t practice with your stories enough. Here’s a list of the things you must know:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">one story for each situation </li><li class="ql-align-justify">how to enhance each story without losing credibility</li><li class="ql-align-justify">how to recognize good entry points and hooks </li><li class="ql-align-justify">and which people you should address to remain at the center of attention.</li></ul>You may even become a good storyteller in your group. But storytelling works best in groups you don’t know when you need to make a good first impression. That’s why you must train a lot in your comfort zone before telling your stories out of it.

5 – Missing enough practice.

I already wrote an article about <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/3-simple-rules-to-boost-your-storytelling">storytelling and its practice </a>. But I will write a few more suggestions here.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Practice in front of the mirror. Once you find a story with value, try to say it by yourself without any group pressure and without thinking about the details.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Practice with close friends. The best advantage of your comfort zone is the possibility to experiment without repercussions. So, try out different versions of the story with your friends and find out which works best. Then, collect feedback from their questions to stop promising value points.</li></ul>

How to Practice Storytelling

Mistakes will forge a good storyteller. But some mistakes could ruin your life – especially when people don’t listen to you.You will become insecure. You will stop trying. And you will become a member of the group nobody cares about.But if you want to emerge, avoid these five mistakes and improve your storytelling abilities from the beginning.Think about your hooks and values. Use the correct body language. Keep your stories short. And practice them in your comfort zone.

If you loved the newsletter and want to support my work, subscribe and share <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/">The Challenge</a> with your friends and families!Or, if you want to read more of my content, visit the <a href="https://www.cosmopolitanmindset.com/">Cosmopolitan Mindset</a>.<a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/subscribe">Subscribe now</a> to help me continue publishing this type of content.

Before you Go

You are reading an excerpt from <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/">The Challenge</a>, a newsletter where I discuss self-improvement, goal-setting, habits, time management, and health tips and tricks.Every week, you will get the following:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">a challenge to pursue to improve your life</li><li class="ql-align-justify">an infographic to track it.</li></ul><a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/subscribe">Subscribe now</a> to help me continue publishing this type of content.

The Challenge

Do you want to improve your storytelling skills? Learn how to avoid these five common storytelling mistakes that could ruin your story.

productivity

Productivity

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

5 Storytelling Mistakes That Almost Ruined My Life (and How To Fix Them Now)

One minute manager is a book written by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. It is one of the few books that have stood the test of time. Part of the reason might be that it shows 3 really simple rules for effective management. There is no "complicated" words and nothing too fancy. Just technique proven with time.

Introduction

The first idea is that there should be a clear goal that could be explained and understood in one minute. Working without a clear goal in mind is like playing bowling, without knowing that the target is to clear the kegels. You just roll the ball and don't know what to expect. Is hitting the kegels a good or a bad thing? It is the same in work, if you can't set a clear goal for your employees, you can't expect them to be successful at what they do. And the blame is not theirs.

One minute goal setting

The second idea is one minute praise. Most people only point out the mistakes, but never really give praise for a job well done. They expect that the job should be well done by default and this requires no need for further discussions. But as humans, no matter how complicated we think we are, we still operate on some primitive principles. Think of when you train your puppy to do tricks, you first show him the trick and upon successful copying of the trick - you reward him with a 'treat'. In other words, you give him 'one minute praise', which in turn motivates him even more to do good job.

One minute praise

Nothing is always perfect. People make mistakes, but they should not be ignored. If ignored, only more will follow. Hence, here comes the one minute reprimand. You point out the mistake. The more specific you are - the better. The focus here should not be to attack the person behind the mistake or his abilities, but centre on the situation. Then, this is followed by a short silence, so the employee can reflect. After which, you pat him on the shoulder (showing him how valuable he is to you) and point out that he is capable of much more.

One minute reprimand

The 3 main ideas showed in the book are:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">One minute goal setting.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">One minute praise.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">One minute reprimand.</li></ol>

Recap

3 Simple ideas that you could use to manage effectively.

education

Learning & Education

books

Books

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

One Minute Manager: 3 Simple Ideas for Effective Management 

Fake friends will shower you in love and praise until you are weak and vulnerable. Then they will attack, hoping to destroy you when you are most defenseless.

Fake friends 

The real and lasting victories are those of peace and not of war.

Why not peace because war only pleases EGO of two causing lives of millions .

Why War

The wars happened , happening and about to happen is to construct happiness , peace or they even selfless??.Then what kind of war is this ??

What War

Every person we behead is fortunate to be a son / daughter , mother / father , sister / brother , a lovable other half of someone who is praying there and importantly who arent even benefitted a single penny through thisBut losses everything .....

War Against Whom

For every big problem the root cause is a small seed of misunderstanding......

Please Don't Fight

War only pleases EGO But never pleases Problem .

problemsolving

Problem Solving

Peace Over War 

Always, always you go through the fire to reach the shine.Πάντα, πάντα περνάς από τη φωτιά για να φτάσεις στη λάμψη.

writing

Reading & Writing

mentalhealth

Mental Health

Odysseas Elytis: How You Reach The Shine

𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐲𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭. 𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐲𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭, 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞.

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰...

communication

Communication

Couples who are In Love Spend More Time Making Eye Contact

If something was guaranteed to you, would you worry about it? No, you wouldn’t. So when Allah says,“There is no moving creature on earth but that its sustenance lies with Allah” — Quran 11:6Why do you then worry about money? If money were to sustain humans, then no billionaire would die and no poor would live.Don’t choose that career because it has high-paying jobs. Choose what really interests you and makes you happy.

Why Worry?

Yes, it’s true that you have to do something in order to earn some money. Why not do something you love and get what you deserve?Why would you do something that you don’t like and try to earn what you don’t deserve?<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Write down what you want to do</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Learn about it</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Obsess over it</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Achieve Mastery</li></ul>

But Still…

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">do what you love</li><li class="ql-align-justify">do it in public and gather an audience</li><li class="ql-align-justify">monetize your audience by selling them your product</li></ul>Social Media is the future. Do what you want to do but post on social media to get attention.📚 If you found this article  helpful and want more clarity and unique ideas, then subscribe to <a href="https://binsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribe">my free weekly newsletter here</a> to get mentally stronger every week.

Earn while doing what you love

Stop trying to justify your reason to earn money as gaining "freedom". Let me ask you this. If I take away all of the money from you, would you have freedom? Freedom can never be taken. You have a really wrong definition of it.

Stop worrying about money

I wondered how I could live my life in a way that makes it the most productive and meaningful. And as I contemplated this more and more, the answer became only apparent. There was no corner I could cut. The guaranteed path was only that called basic.

Already I, and all of us, know the answer to the question I raised. How to have a healthy body? Sleep on time. Sleep more than 8 hours a day. Have a healthy and nutritious diet. Avoid junk foods. Workout regularly and do cardio at least three times a week.It is that simple and incredibly crystal clear.

But simplicity and obviousness don’t mean that they are easy tasks. Actually, maybe they are the most challenging things we humans could do. Because to do them, not only we must be consistent, but also need to be resistant to our desires.

When I wake up, I want to check my phone first. When I am in bed, it is so hard to leave it. Working out regularly and maintaining a healthy diet is just tiring. Being productive and practicing your skills are easily so hard. …Well, who doesn’t really not know what to do to become a better person?

The process of calibrating yourself hence supposed to be the process of doing something unwanted. You should recognize what your body and mind are rejecting at the moment and force them to do that. Metacognition is immensely important here; they are the hint.

This morning, I wanted some extra sleep, but I went straight to a toilet to facewash. I then went straight to my desk to start working on my project, though I wanted to procrastinate just for a minute or two. After some coding work, after some debating with myself what if I skip the gym today, I went to the gym.

Emotions are ephemeral while the result from acting not. If you recognize what your body is rejecting, try doing it. If you have the right will to become a better version of yourself, this tactic will actually help you out. There is no such way that could cut corners to make you better, besides this daunting yet guaranteed path.

habits

Habits

Go back to basics

Things that our mind can process easily will make us overconfident.When we see someone does hard thing effortlessly, we often think we can do it too.When we see a final product that looks perfectly normal, we think the process leading to that is also easy and smooth.When we see a great book that is easy to read, we think it’s also easy to write it, while the opposite is true.

The Fluency Effect

We are frequently overconfident about the extent of our knowledge—we think we know more than we really do.

We have a tendency to confirm what we already believe.Because of this, we only focus on finding confirming evidences, even though seeking evidences that will say otherwise is equally important.This is dangerous for us, especially if what we believe is not a factual truth.If we’re looking for truth, we must look for disconfirming evidence even though it makes us uncomfortable.

Confirmation Bias

“Confirming data is necessary but not sufficient, because you also need to disconfirm your hypothesis.”

We often underestimate time and effort required to complete a task. That’s why we miss deadlines, exceed our budget, or run out of energy before we finish.To overcome this, we need to come up with specific and detailed plan. We need to divide the task into smaller ones that we can estimate more accurately.

Planning Fallacy

“The perceived fluency of an impending task makes us underestimate the difficulty of executing”

There are multiple cues that people use to infer causality of an event:<ul><li>Similarity</li><li>Sufficiency</li><li>Necessity</li><li>Abnormality</li><li>Recency</li><li>Controllability</li></ul>

Causal Attribution

“One of the most important functions of causal reasoning is to control future events. We want to avoid mishaps and repeat good outcomes by identifying the reasons each happened.”

We often feel anecdotes from people we know more persuasive than scientific evidence. This is because we don’t understand statistics well.3 key concepts we must always remember:<ol><li>Law of Large Number (more data in a sample, more accurate conclusion)</li><li>Regression Toward the Mean (extreme result will be followed by moderate ones)</li><li>Bayes’ Theorem (just because probability of A given that B occurs is high, it doesn’t mean that probability of B given A occurs is also high)</li></ol>

Key Concepts in Statistics

“The more observations we make, the more accurately we can generalize the pattern to cases we have not yet observed or make predictions about the future.”

People weigh negative information more than positive information. According to revolutionary work by Kahneman and Tvetsky, we treat the same monetary values differently, depending on whether they are gains or losses. This is called loss aversion.We have this bias because our ancestors were living on the line, small error can cost them their life. So it’s better to play safe.

Negativity Bias

“Our preferences and choices are based on how the options are framed rather than the options per se.”

When we see or experience new things, our existing belief and knowledge will color our judgment and interpretation about it. This is how our cognition works.This top down processing happens automatically and spontaneously, whether we want it or not. To overcome this, we need external help to review our perspective and change it into a more healthier view of the world.

Biased Interpretation

“Sometimes, it’s easier and better to focus on solving the problems caused by different perspectives than trying to change those perspectives themselves.”

When we perceive something, we interpret it based on what we already know.We believe that everybody else, including people who don’t posses what we know, would see the situation similarly that we do.This is a common cause of communication problem.We need to put ourselves in everybody else’s shoes and take their perspective to be better at communication. We also need to ask questions more.

Curse of Knowledge

“Often our communication failures occur simply because we neglect to consider the other person’s perspective.”

An ability to delay short term rewards to prioritize long term outcomes is a positive trait and it highly correlates with success in the long run.However, it’s also important for us to enjoy the process, not just the final goal. This will increase our probability to avoid physical and mental health issues at our young age.

Problem of Delayed Gratification

“The decisions we make for ourselves should be as impartial as possible and based on statistical principles and probability theories, because they provide the most accurate predictions”

This book is based on a popular course in Yale University and is written by the professor.

“An INVALUABLE RESOURCE to anyone who wants to think better.” —Gretchen Rubin Award-winning YALE PROFESSOR Woo-kyoung Ahn delivers “A MUST-READ—a smart and compellingly readable guide to cutting-edge research into how people think.” (Paul Bloom) “A FUN exploration.” —Dax Shepard Psychologist Woo-kyoung Ahn devised a course at Yale called “Thinking” to help students examine the biases that cause so many problems in their daily lives. It quickly became one of the university’s most popular courses. Now, for the first time, Ahn presents key insights from her years of teaching and research in a book for everyone. She shows how “thinking problems” stand behind a wide range of challenges, from common, self-inflicted daily aggravations to our most pressing societal issues and inequities. Throughout, Ahn draws on decades of research from other cognitive psychologists, as well as from her own groundbreaking studies. And she presents it all in a compellingly readable style that uses fun examples from pop culture, anecdotes from her own life, and illuminating stories from history and the headlines. Thinking 101 is a book that goes far beyond other books on thinking, showing how we can improve not just our own daily lives through better awareness of our biases but also the lives of everyone around us. It is, quite simply, required reading for everyone who wants to think—and live—better.

Woo-kyoung Ahn

Thinking 101

The idea that one should stick to only educational content or a specific type of content is false at core.It's simple, educational, fun, family and friends all are important, but the problem lies in social media algorithms promoting things you like more than content that might be beneficial for you.Restrict pages you follow for fun such as memes, vines and celeb pages. Have a maximum limit of 10 on them.Do not scroll reels.

Rebuild Your Social Media With Relevancy

Don't be convinced looking at just one side of things.Everyone has different opinions about different things. You'll find both good and bad in it and guess what?? Both of them will have research to back it's answers, dive deep and pick the most logical answer that fits your set of circumstances and your body.If logic fails to convince you of the side to take then listen to your inner being, it has the knowledge of the universe. It knows what it wants and what is best for you! Relax and make your decision.

Question The Content

Have you ever visited the research papers to find out what's good and bad about the food you're eating? I'm sure you have. But, did it leave you confused with cancer, obesity and diabetes on one side and vitamins, minerals and protein on the other?If yes, then you need to look at two things, one is your belly area tightly does it feel good when it goes inside your body, does it cause bloating, excess fat, heatburn or other symptoms? If it's causing any of the two you need to remove it and add new gradually add back to see what works and what dosent.The other problem you might want to look at i<warningtag>s a tightened stomach, relax an</warningtag><warningtag>d</warningtag><warningtag> blow it make it flexible.</warningtag><warningtag></warningtag>

Food Paradox : The Researches Are Confusing You.

Sooner or later we will realise that the world has already moved to a place from which there is no return. The chaos and destruction we've brought upon mother nature will come back to us.Capitalism and Mass production are reasons to blame. If you're wondering, why's that? That's because apart from the essentials to live like food, water, clothes and shelter you don't really need anything. But these companies created demands and desires are ruthlessly claiming the minds of people. Luring them with feelings of pride and feeling of completion.Don't give in to what crowd believes in. Be Free!

Environmental Degradation Is The Real Deal!

"All demand is Created"

The face that people show on social media is not real and neither are their lives perfect. It's shrouded in their desire to make money out of your following and achieving a sense of superiority.Look for real people around you and not on a television or a mobile phone or a computer.

Don't Listen To Influencers

Most of us are hypocrites, we say we're gonna do the work but we don't, we say we are gonna start but we never do. We say it and we don't? Ever wondered why? Even when you know what is right you are unable to accomplish it? The problem lies in "saying it", don't say it out aloud until you do it so take action then say it.

Don't Lie To Yourself

Internet is bombarding us with information every minute, reducing attention spans like petrol in hot air. If you're thinking about the consequences... It's no less than lighting fire in that air. The result is low satisfaction, goldfish memory, indecisiveness etc. etc. What to do?

philosophy

Philosophy

health

Health

Over Information and the right-wrong paralysis.

Find  Self Improvement Tips - Curated from popular Books like Atomic Habits, 48 Rules of Power, Deep Work, Rich Dad Poor Dad and way more!