Our voices matter as much as our words matter. They have the power to awaken the senses and lead others to act, close deals, or land us successful job interviews. 
Through our voices, we create nuances of meaning, convey our emotions, and find the secret to communicating our executive presence.

Our Voices

The key lies in harnessing our voices using the principles of vocalics. Vocalics primarily consists of three linguistic elements: stress (volume), intonation (rising and falling tone), and rhythm (pacing). By combining vocalics with public speaking skills, we can colour our words with the meaning and emotion that motivates others to act.

The Principles Of Vocalics

Crank up your volume: No, we don’t mean shout. The effective use of volume goes beyond trying to be the loudest person in the room. To direct the flow of any conversation, you must overtly stress what linguists call focus words. When you intentionally place volume on certain words, you emphasize parts of a message and shift the direction of a conversation toward your preferred outcome.

How to Harness Your Voice: Turn It up A Bit

Use a powerful speech style: The key to achieving a powerful speech style, particularly during job interviews and hiring decisions, is to first concentrate on the “melody” of your voice, also called intonation. This rise or fall of our voice conveys grammatical meaning (questions or statements) or even attitude (surprise, joy, sarcasm).To command more executive presence, combine this technique with increasing the volume of your voice on important focus words. These two elements will help you exude competence and authority.

The Melody Of Your Voice

Calibrate your vocal rhythm with the right melody: Our messages are perceived differently depending on the way we use rhythm in our voices. Deliberately varying our pacing with compelling pauses creates “voiced” punctuation, a powerful way to hold the pulse of the moment.We often imagine conversations to flow as smoothly and continuously as a river, but fluent speech is actually filled with intricate patterns of conscious starts and stops which linguists call <a href="https://digitalcommons.usu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1045&context=honor_lectures">thought groups</a> or acoustical phrasing.

Pacing And Rhythm

The more definitive you are with speaking in chunked phrases, the more time others will have to process your ideas, and the more clarity you will achieve. Moreover, thought groups, when combined with the volume changes of focus words and the intonation of a powerful speaking style, have been shown to dramatically enhance vocal quality, even upping people’s chances of <a href="https://www.ceeol.com/search/article-detail?id=563521">getting hired</a>.

The Bottom Line

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Your Voice

Though many people make the pursuit of happiness their life’s goal, recent research suggests that doing so may backfire and, ironically, lead to less happiness.Because life is filled with various challenges, people may be better off pursuing purpose than chasing passion, building the resilience and character needed to thrive.Uncovering our unique vocations may not only help us flourish as individuals but also as humanity.

Key Takeaways

We’ve all heard this before: To change the world, we need to use our passion as our North Star, and let our happiness be the measuring stick of our success. The truth is that happiness is not the goal of our human existence.Making happiness the goal of our lives is tantamount to embarking on a fool’s errand that is sure to leave us disappointed. In fact, recent research suggests that making happiness our life’s goal may ironically lead to less happiness and backfire in harmful ways.

Passion Or Purpose

Character is forged in the face of adversity. When that harsh reality sets in, it can leave happiness-seekers feeling hoodwinked, empty, and rudderless. The very adversity we often wish to circumnavigate has the potential to produce within us the grit, resilience, and character we need to flourish as human beings in an era in which machines are rapidly replacing humans throughout the global economy.People who pursued meaning in life not only lived longer but also experienced improved physical and mental health, greater economic prosperity, and resilience when dealing with change in life.

Finding Meaning

Happiness is not the goal, but rather a byproduct of living on what I call the “purpose path.”This requires “vocational courage” — gaining clarity about the work you were made to do and committing to it no matter what. This is more than simply attending to one’s passions — this is discovering and acting on one’s reason for being. Vocation is not a goal to be achieved; it is a gift to be received

The Purpose Path

This is the essence of vocational courage. It is recognizing when there is a gap between what you’re doing and what you believe you’re made to do. For some, it may mean <a href="https://hbr.org/2015/07/setting-the-record-straight-on-switching-jobs">switching companies</a> to work for a more purpose-driven brand. For some, it may mean going back to school to prepare for a different line of work altogether. It is having the bravery to pivot in a different direction when your soul knows it’s time — when your soul demands that you live an “<a href="https://onbeing.org/blog/living-an-undivided-life/">undivided life</a>.”

An Undivided Life

Each of us has a vocation — a unique, worthwhile life’s work we are called to undertake at this moment in human history. So instead of orienting our lives around our passions and the <a href="https://hbr.org/podcast/2017/09/find-your-happy-place-at-work">pursuit of happiness</a>, let’s commit ourselves to listening to the voice of our vocation so we can understand who we should become and how we can contribute to human flourishing. It just might change the world for good.

Find Your Calling

Though many people make the pursuit of happiness their life’s goal, recent research suggests that doing so may backfire and, ironically, lead to less happiness. Because life is filled with various challenges, people may be better off pursuing purpose than chasing passion, building the resilience and character needed to thrive. Uncovering our unique vocations may not only help us flourish as individuals but also as humanity.

career

Career

mindfulness

Mindfulness

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Why Purpose—Not Passion—Should Guide Young Professionals

Every building needs a sturdy foundation. Your daily habits are a foundation on which you are building who you are—your values, goals, personality, etc.If you track your daily habits, you may be surprised to find a collection of suboptimal habits: you may not be reaching your full potential.One of those suboptimal habits is being easily distracted.Distraction erodes your day-to-day life and diverts your resources toward things that don’t really matter. If you’re not equipped to manage distraction—if you’re not indistractable—your brain will be manipulated by time-wasting diversions.

Habits and Distractions

<ul><li>Mastering internal triggers</li><li>Making time for traction</li><li>Hacking back external triggers</li><li>Blocking out distraction</li></ul>Remember: Distractions are things that push us away from what we want most in life.

The Four Pillars to Becoming Indistractable

All behaviours, both traction and distraction, are prompted by triggers, both internal and external.Internal triggers cue us from within. When we feel our belly growl, we look for a snack. When we’re cold, we find a coat to warm up. And when we’re sad, lonely, or stressed, we might call a friend or loved one for support.External triggers are cues in our environment such as the pings, dings, and rings that prompt us to check our email, answer a phone call, or open a news alert. External triggers can also take the form of other people, such as a coworker who stops by our desk to chat.

Internal And External Triggers

Distraction, it turns out, isn’t about the distracting thing itself; rather, it’s about how we respond to it.Resisting, ruminating, and finally giving in to the desire perpetuates the cycle of distraction and quite possibly drives many unwanted behaviours.While we can’t control the feelings and thoughts that pop into our heads, we can control what we do with them. We can manage distractions that originate from within by changing how we think about them.

Mastering Internal Triggers

Step 1: Look for the discomfort that precedes the distraction, focusing on the internal trigger.Step 2: Write down the trigger.Step 3: Explore your negative sensations with curiosity instead of contempt.Step 4: Be extra cautious during liminal moments when you transition from one activity to another.

Handling The Distraction

We can change the way we see ourselves to get rid of self-limiting beliefs. If we believe we’re short on willpower and self-control, then we will be. If we decide we’re powerless to resist temptation, it becomes true. If we tell ourselves we are deficient by nature, we will believe every word.

Adjusting Our Vision

Being indistractable is largely about making sure you make time for traction each day and eliminating the distraction that keeps you from living the life you want—one that involves taking care of yourself, your relationships, and your work.Planning your time with intention is critical, even if you choose to spend it scrolling through celebrity headlines or reading a steamy romance novel. After all, the time you’ve planned to waste is not wasted time.

Making Time For Traction

Unwanted external triggers hamper our productivity and diminish our well-being. While technology companies use cues like the pings and dings on our phones to hack our behaviour, external triggers are not confined to our digital devices. They’re all around us—from cookies beckoning when we open the kitchen cabinet to a chatty coworker keeping us from finishing a time-sensitive project.

Hacking Back External Triggers

<ul><li>Work interruptions</li><li>Email</li><li>Group chat</li><li>Meetings</li><li>Smartphone</li><li>Computer desktop</li><li>Online articles</li><li>Online feeds</li></ul>These interruptions lead to mistakes and steal your time from what you should be focused on. It’s time to block out those distractions.

The Top Contenders

The last step to becoming indistractable involves preventing ourselves from sliding into distraction.To do so, we must learn a powerful technique called “precommitment,” which involves removing a choice in the future to overcome our impulses in the present.Precommitments are the last line of defence preventing us from sliding into distraction. You should only use this after the other three indistractable strategies have been applied.

Blocking Out Distraction

You can prevent distractions with effort pacts, which makes unwanted behaviour more difficult to do. You can also make a price pact, which involves putting money on the line to encourage you to do what you say you will. Finally, an identity pact is one of the most effective ways of changing your behaviour since it involves changing your identity—your image of who you are.

The Pacts

We live in a distracted world. Don't Look Up!

Overcoming distraction is the struggle of our time. Here are 4 simple steps to manage your wandering mind.

productivity

Productivity

habits

Habits

The 4 Steps to Becoming Indistractable

We all know the failure rate of startups, about 90% over five years. And we know Silicon Valley might still be the dominant location in the United States for starting technology companies. Perhaps that is due to the venture capitalist’s insistence that companies they fund be in or move to Silicon Valley. But as you consider the type of company you wish to start, you really should examine the importance of several factors outside of funding that could hedge your startup’s success. Where you locate your startup, even in the age of remote work, might actually be more critical than you think.

The Premise

There is nothing like success to support success. For an ecosystem to thrive, you want to have a high number of successful and aspiring entrepreneurs. They create support networks, organizations, and meetups and provide advice and mentoring to future entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurs

If you are creating a biotech startup, then you should be in San Diego, one of the largest thriving biotech regions in the country. Why? Because your ability to recruit top talent is greatly enhanced. So, as you consider your startup and what it needs at the core, does that talent exist in your selected city or region?

Talent

In the age of rapidly accelerating companies based on competition, your potential top talent could be coming out of the local universities. Choose an ecosystem that is graduating a diverse talent base that is critical to your company’s success. Recruit some of this talent as paid interns and recruit them to be your future employees.

Education

Every entrepreneurial ecosystem needs investors. Study a potential region and look at the numbers such as capital invested, diversity of investments and overall growth trendline. Also, look to the type of investor that may be specializing in an area that your startup is heading.

Investors

Not a lot of founders look at this metric but again it could be critical to your startup’s ultimate success. If you are raising capital, you might need a burn rate or runway to attain your overall objectives. While you may want to be in Silicon Valley, all of the right ecosystem resources might be in Salt Lake City where the cost of living is lower and the potential burn rate is much longer.

Costs

While there are many cities and regions in the USA that are growing entrepreneurship rapidly, the list below contains the perennial leader, Silicon Valley and another region that has benefited from companies like Microsoft and Amazon and that is Seattle. <ul><li>Silicon Valley</li><li>Seattle</li><li>Austin</li><li>Salt Lake City/Provo</li><li>San Diego</li></ul>

The List Of Cities

Several startup ecosystems, outside of Silicon Valley, have been quietly rising for more than 20 years.

Discover the world of business and economics.

economics

Economics

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

business

Business

startup

Startups

Location, Location, Location. Entrepreneurs, Where You Locate Your Startup Might Be As Important As The Timing

As people, we develop our ideas by interacting with others, testing our thinking, and getting feedback. Discussing controversial topics with our family and peers helps us learn and grow. However, these conversations can reveal potentially relationship-ending opinions. Losing out on these conversations makes us more estranged and entrenched in our own ways of thinking. Some tips can help you to approach these conversations and keep discussions productive.

The necessity of engaging in difficult conversations

Before you start a conversation with someone, take a moment to consider how their life may have shaped their opinions. People's experiences and beliefs may change how people interact with scientific evidence. People don't trust science on certain topics because they don't yet know enough about it. The solution is to simply tell people the facts, remedying their knowledge deficit and increasing support for scientific ideas.

Consider the other person's background

You can shape a person's mind on a controversial topic with the "deep canvassing" technique. Deep canvassing uses a person's specific experiences to change their views on a topic. It is done by guiding them through nonjudgmental conversations about personal narratives related to the topic.

Use personal stories

This conversation strategy involves a variety of verbal and nonverbal cues, such as restating comments, asking questions, and showing your attention. In addition, don't be afraid to briefly pause a conversation that’s heating up to keep emotions under control. This will help both parties to be more objective in assessing one another's arguments.

Actively listen and acknowledge the views of the other person

How can you successfully understand someone else’s point of view, share yours, or even change someone’s mind?

Conversations on Polarizing Topics Are Possible. If You’re Up for It, Here’s How to Start - By Caitlyn Finton - Behavioral Scientist

When you start a company and want to do really well, you need to work super-hard.
Working hard means working every waking hour. If someone else is working 50 hours and you're working a hundred, you'll get twice as much done in the course of a year.

Work really hard

Your product or service has to be really great. Unless it's an untapped market, your product or service needs to be much better than your competitors.
It can't be a little bit better; it has to be a lot better. Consumers will always buy the trusted brand - unless there is a huge difference.

Ensure whatever you're doing is a great product or service

If you're creating a company of it you're joining a company, it is vital to attract great people. 
So, either join an amazing group that you respect or if you're building a company, gather great people. The success of the company will depend on how talented and hardworking that group is and the degree to which they are focused cohesively in a good direction.

Attract great people

Many companies spend money on things that don't really make the product better, For example, Tesla never spent money on advertising but instead puts all the money into R&D and manufacturing and design.
Consider if your efforts are resulting in a better product or service. If not, stop those efforts.

Focus on signal over noise

As you get older, your obligations increase. Once you have a family, you start taking risks not just for yourself but for your family as well. Then it gets much harder to do things that might not work out.
Now is the time to take risks. Do something bold. You won't regret it.

Now is a good time to take risk

Dig into this collection about Elon Musk to see how his brain works, the future he envisions for the world, and a lot more.

books

Books

problemsolving

Problem Solving

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

Inside The Mind of Elon Musk

“Starting and growing a business is as much about the innovation, drive and determination of the people who do it as it is about the product they sell”  — Elon Musk. This Video is Part 1 of Elon Musk's Five Rules How To Create a Company. ► Check Out Part 2 → https://youtu.be/Q6NnT6vpjdc ☀︎ Savanteum is on a mission to inspire the next generation of creators and innovators. ► Subscribe to Savanteum → https://www.youtube.com/savanteum?sub... Tools I Use/Recommend: TubeBuddy (great for analytics and optimization -- free to install, but upgrade needed for extra features): https://www.tubebuddy.com/savanteum Credits & Sources: In Video / Additional Sources Below Music by Whitesand - Eternity, Creative Commons License YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCe96... Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/martynlaur Twitter: https://twitter.com/MartynLaur Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/martynaslau (Please Follow and Support Independent Musicians) Video Notes: Elon Musk is a is an engineer, industrial designer, technology entrepreneur, and philanthropist. He is the founder, CEO and chief engineer/designer of SpaceX; co-founder, CEO and product architect of Tesla Inc.; founder of The Boring Company; co-founder of Neuralink; and co-founder and initial co-chairman of OpenAI. Thank you for watching & follow us below! ====================================================== ► Follow Savanteum: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/savanteum Website: http://savanteum.com/ ======================================================

technologyandthefuture

Technology & The Future

videos

Videos

“Starting and growing a business is as much about the innovation, drive and determination of the people who do it as it is about the product they sell”  — Elon Musk.

► Check Out Part 2 → https://youtu.be/Q6NnT6vpjdc

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Hi, my name is Stuie and I made Savanteum to inspire the next generation of creators and innovators.

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Thanks for watching, happy creating and innovating! 🔥 #elonmusk #entrepreneur

Welcome to savanteum – a gym for the mind; a place to learn and get inspired! 🧠💪

We are on a mission to enable and inspire the next generation of innovators and promote life-long learning through engaging stories about entrepreneurs and creators.


Savanteum

How to Create a Company | Elon Musk's 5 Rules

No person in an argument is right about everything all the time.  Research shows when we admit we might be wrong, it can help us be better friends, happier people, and more effective advocates for what we believe. This is intellectual humility and a gift you can give yourself.

Intellectual humility

In our minds, we weave together our ideas, assumptions, and experiences to form a picture of the world. One tug on the tread can make us feel that our sense of self is unravelling. Research shows that we react to attacks on our beliefs the same way as physical threats. Our natural tendency is to avoid those threats by finding like-minded people.

It is hard to admit that we might be wrong

Our ideas don’t need to limit us. We should accept that some things we know are wrong or incomplete. Recognising that our knowledge is incomplete is not weakness or ignorance. On the contrary, it should give us a feeling of relief.  We can let go of ideas that were holding us back. We can now turn every day into an opportunity to learn and grow.

Becoming open-minded

Arguments on social media are notorious. Can practicing intellectual humility make us smarter and happier? Science says yes. Subscribe for more videos of people thinking differently and making a difference: http://freeth.ink/youtube-subscribe-humility Internet arguments have a terrible reputation, especially when it comes to social media and politics. People often naturally form an echo chamber with similar beliefs, and when those outside it start arguments, it becomes toxic very quickly. Is there a better way? Science suggests that a good starting point is by practicing intellectual humility. By admitting the possibility that we ourselves could be wrong, we're able to better evaluate arguments and construct more robust belief systems. Studies show it also reduces stress and increases happiness. Could more widespread understanding of the role humility plays finally help build a happier internet? This video is brought to you in collaboration with the John Templeton Foundation. Subscribe for more videos exploring big questions with the potential to make the world a better place. Join the Freethink Forum for people interested in making a difference: https://www.facebook.com/groups/freethinkforum/ For more stories profiling pioneers of science and tech innovation, subscribe to Freethink at https://www.youtube.com/freethinkmedia And follow Freethink across other platforms here: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/freethinkmedia Twitter: https://twitter.com/freethinkmedia Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freethink Website: http://www.freethink.com

Arguments on social media are notorious. Can practicing intellectual humility make us smarter and happier? Science says yes. Subscribe for more videos of people thinking differently and making a difference: http://freeth.ink/youtube-subscribe-humility

Internet arguments have a terrible reputation, especially when it comes to social media and politics. People often naturally form an echo chamber with similar beliefs, and when those outside it start arguments, it becomes toxic very quickly. Is there a better way? Science suggests that a good starting point is by practicing intellectual humility. By admitting the possibility that we ourselves could be wrong, we're able to better evaluate arguments and construct more robust belief systems. Studies show it also reduces stress and increases happiness. Could more widespread understanding of the role humility plays finally help build a happier internet?

This video is brought to you in collaboration with the John Templeton Foundation. Subscribe for more videos exploring big questions with the potential to make the world a better place.

Join the Freethink Forum for people interested in making a difference: https://www.facebook.com/groups/freethinkforum/

For more stories profiling pioneers of science and tech innovation, subscribe to Freethink at https://www.youtube.com/freethinkmedia

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Freethink is a platform for the people and ideas that are changing our world. We believe that together we can move the world forward, one remarkable story at a time.

Freethink

The Joy of Being Wrong

If there’s one thing we avoid, it’s feeling bored. And worse is being boring to others. Boredom is the state of feeling unhappy or dissatisfied because of a lack of interest or having nothing to do.

Being perceived as boring

Studies found that boredom did have negative consequences, in that people became more negative towards outsiders because it makes them feel better about their own group, and is also associated with aggression. Feelings of boredom typically led to feelings of nostalgia, with people finding a sense of comfort or interest in reminiscing about the past. However, boredom has a psychological purpose. It pushes people to search for new things they would find meaningful or valuable, which is a positive outcome.

Then pros and cons of boredom

<ul><li>Volunteers in a study reported that the five most boring jobs were data analysis, accounting, tax/insurance, cleaning, and banking.</li><li>The most boring hobbies included sleeping, religion, watching TV, observing animals, and doing math.</li><li>Attributes that made a person stereotypically boring were having no interests, no sense of humour, no opinions, or complaining too much. </li><li>People who had stereotypically boring characteristics were more likely to be automatically perceived as incompetent and cold.</li></ul>

Stereotypical features that lead to a person being perceived as boring by others

He’s also come up with a list of jobs considered the most boring by people. Is yours on it?

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How to Not Be Boring, According to a Psychologist Who Researches Boredom

Mantas are ideas that are true in any situation, that guide you, nourish you, and reassure you, that you can lean on when things are difficult. A motto to live by every day is that good character works for the common good. When you work on yourself, you are a positive difference-maker in the world. Ask yourself:<ul><li>How are you making things better?</li><li>How are you contributing?</li><li>How are you of service?</li></ul>

Good character: Good deeds

You have limited time. Don’t take a minute for granted. Every time you do something, you have to remind yourself that it’s time you will never get back. Time is our most precious resource. It is always ticking away. Every second that passes belongs to death. You can never get it back. For example,  you may see a beautiful sunrise today but will never see the same specific sunrise again.  That is why you should live and embrace life and not waste it.

Memento mori: Remember you will die

Nietzsche said you “don’t just bear what is necessary, you love it.” When something bad happens, it can either break your heart and spirit, or you can embrace it and turn it into the greatest thing that ever happened to you. It’s good that it is difficult. If there were never any obstacles, everyone would do it. There would be a whole lot more competition. So you don’t just accept what is happening to you, you love it and lean into it. When you lose the manuscript you’ve been working on you say Amor fati. When you’re stuck in traffic, you say Amur fati. Use it as fuel to become better.

Amor Fati - love of one's fate

These are mantras. These are reminders. A kind of living oral and written tradition for how to live and what kind of person to be. In this video Ryan Holiday gives you 3 of the most essential Stoic mantras that you can use to build your life on. 🪙 Good Character, Good Deeds - To the Stoics, the criteria for success were simple: displaying good character and doing good works. The fruit of this life, the fruit of the study of philosophy, he said, was just that: “good character and acts for the common good.” This is a wonderful mantra worth repeating to ourselves always. It’s so easy to get distracted by other things, by other definitions of success. We see other people getting recognition and we want it. We see them making money and suddenly what we have is not enough. We see them getting away with things and think, maybe we should try that too. 🪙 Memento Mori - Get a Memento Mori medallion to carry this mantra with you everywhere you go: https://store.dailystoic.com/products/memento-mori Meditating on your mortality is only depressing if you miss the point. It is in fact a tool to create priority and meaning. It’s a tool that generations have used to create real perspective and urgency. To treat our time as a gift and not waste it on the trivial and vain. Death doesn’t make life pointless but rather purposeful. And fortunately, we don’t have to nearly die to tap into this. A simple reminder can bring us closer to living the life we want. It doesn’t matter who you are or how many things you have left to be done, a car can hit you in an intersection and drive your teeth back into your skull. That’s it. It could all be over. Today, tomorrow, someday soon. 🪙 Amor Fati - Get an Amor Fati medallion to carry this mantra with you everywhere you go: https://prints.dailystoic.com/products/amor-fati-medallion-1 Two thousand years ago, writing in his own personal journal which would become known as Meditations, Emperor Marcus Aurelius would say: “A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it.” Another Stoic, Epictetus, who as a crippled slave has faced adversity after adversity, echoed the same: “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.” It is why amor fati is the Stoic mindset that you take on for making the best out of anything that happens: Treating each and every moment—no matter how challenging—as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be okay with it, but love it and be better for it. So that like oxygen to a fire, obstacles and adversity become fuel for your potential. ✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail 🎓 FREE GUIDE to Stoic philosophy: https://dailystoic.com/freeguide 🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/ 00:00 Intro 01:21 1. Good character, good deeds 02:39 2. Memento Mori 05:17 3. Amor Fati Instagram: ​https://www.instagram.com/dailystoic Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/dailystoic Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dailystoic TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daily_stoic #Stoicism​ #DailyStoic​ #RyanHoliday​

philosophy

Philosophy

These are mantras. These are reminders. A kind of living oral and written tradition for how to live and what kind of person to be. 

In this video Ryan Holiday gives you 3 of the most essential Stoic mantras that you can use to build your life on.

🪙 Good Character, Good Deeds - To the Stoics, the criteria for success were simple: displaying good character and doing good works. The fruit of this life, the fruit of the study of philosophy, he said, was just that: “good character and acts for the common good.” This is a wonderful mantra worth repeating to ourselves always. It’s so easy to get distracted by other things, by other definitions of success. We see other people getting recognition and we want it. We see them making money and suddenly what we have is not enough. We see them getting away with things and think, maybe we should try that too. 

🪙 Memento Mori - Get a Memento Mori medallion to carry this mantra with you everywhere you go: https://store.dailystoic.com/products/memento-mori

Meditating on your mortality is only depressing if you miss the point. It is in fact a tool to create priority and meaning. It’s a tool that generations have used to create real perspective and urgency. To treat our time as a gift and not waste it on the trivial and vain. Death doesn’t make life pointless but rather purposeful. And fortunately, we don’t have to nearly die to tap into this. A simple reminder can bring us closer to living the life we want. It doesn’t matter who you are or how many things you have left to be done, a car can hit you in an intersection and drive your teeth back into your skull. That’s it. It could all be over. Today, tomorrow, someday soon.

🪙 Amor Fati - Get an Amor Fati medallion to carry this mantra with you everywhere you go: https://prints.dailystoic.com/products/amor-fati-medallion-1

Two thousand years ago, writing in his own personal journal which would become known as Meditations, Emperor Marcus Aurelius would say: “A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it.” Another Stoic, Epictetus, who as a crippled slave has faced adversity after adversity, echoed the same: “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.” It is why amor fati is the Stoic mindset that you take on for making the best out of anything that happens: Treating each and every moment—no matter how challenging—as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be okay with it, but love it and be better for it. So that like oxygen to a fire, obstacles and adversity become fuel for your potential.

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00:00 Intro
01:21 1. Good character, good deeds
02:39 2. Memento Mori
05:17 3. Amor Fati

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Stoicism for everyday life. 

For those of us who live our lives in the real world, there is one branch of philosophy created just for us: Stoicism. It’s a philosophy designed to make us more resilient, happier, more virtuous and more wise–and as a result, better people, better parents and better professionals. Stoicism has been a common thread though some of history’s great leaders...

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Daily Stoic

3 Stoic Mantras To Build Your Life On

According to the Mayo Clinic, laughing has short- and long-term effects on our health. As we bring in more oxygen, it stimulates our heart, lungs, and muscles. Laughing increases the endorphins that are released by our brain, and it cools down our stress response. Over a longer period of time, laughter can improve our immune system, relieve pain, and increase personal satisfaction.

Laughter Can Be Good Medicine

While it’s easy to laugh at something funny, the ability to laugh at yourself can help you address the challenges that could be holding you back in your career and life, says Dr. Brian Kaplan, author of Almost Happy: Pushing Your Buttons with Reverse Psychology.“To laugh at one’s self is an excellent thing,” he says. “Humor can be a very powerful way of helping people, proving that helping doesn’t have to be a solemn experience.”

Helping Doesn’t Have To Be Solemn

Kaplan studied the work of Frank Farrelly, an innovative therapist who founded Provocative Therapy in the 1960s. Provocative Therapy uses humor and reverse psychology to provoke people to change. With the person’s explicit permission, you repeat what you hear their “sub-selves” saying and you do it with humor, warmth, and affection.

Provocative Therapy

Provocative Therapy is a system of psychotherapy in which the therapist plays the devil’s advocate, siding with the negative half of the client’s ambivalence toward his life’s goals, his relationships, work and the structures within which he lives. The provocative therapist also plays the Satanic role by facetiously agreeing with the doom and gloom feelings and expectations of the client, and “tempting” him to continue his “sinning,” his self-defeating attitudes and behavioral patterns.

Whose Side Are You On?

“We all have sub-selves, or sub-personalities, such as our inner child,” says Kaplan. “That’s a nice use of a sub-self. But we also have sub-selves that dominate us. They’re loud, grab the microphone, and dominate the whole personality.”For example, you may relate to a sub-self of the workaholic. You could justify that you need to work 15 hours a day because you’re paying for your children’s education, a new house, or a vacation home.

Our Sub-Selves

Laugh at yourself by reaffirming the workaholic’s devotion to work. For example, you can tell yourself, “You should definitely spend all your time focusing on making more money and acquiring more businesses or investing in the market. Your children will be judged by their clothes and vacations. They don’t need you; they need your money.”

Self-Subversion How-to

“When you can laugh at that side—especially when it’s a bit over the top—then you can laugh at that part of you that’s sabotaging yourself,” says Kaplan. “That moment of laughter provides a window of opportunity to recognize what’s holding you back and prescribe your own solution. And laughter and the warmth of it is like a medicine that allows you to deal with something that’s often quite painful.”

Laughter And The Warmth Of It

In his book, Kaplan identifies more than 100 sub-selves that could be holding you back. For example, you may be a procrastinator. In this case, you can talk to yourself by saying, “Never underestimate the power of tomorrow!” “Always make magnanimous resolutions on your finest night, New Year’s Eve.” And “Meditate on the many horrible consequences of most impulsive decisions and actions.”

Sub-Self: The Procrastinator

Another sub-self is the grim executive, which Kaplan calls “the stone-faced men and women of big business. Anyone feeling the burden of being held responsible for profit and loss.” In this case, you can call out the sub-self by saying, “It’s a badge of honor to look ten years older than you are. Don’t forget your annual visit to the cardiologist.”Other sub-selves include being a people pleaser, robot, doormat, critic, and ego maniac.

Sub-Self: The Grim Executive

“Mark Twain once said, ‘Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand,'” says Kaplan. “Once you’re laughing at the sub self, you’re acutely aware of it. Normally, you don’t think of the trait as a sub-self. When it takes you over, you think ‘I’m angry’ or ‘I’m under stress,’ because the sub-self has taken your whole personality there. When you can identify it as a part of you and not your entire being, you can quiet it down.”

A Part, Not The Whole

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

If you would not be laughed at, be the first to laugh at yourself.

We probably all know what it’s like when others push our buttons and drive us crazy. What if we pushed our own buttons and drove ourselves happy? 

The ability to laugh at yourself can help you address the challenges that could be holding you back in your career and life, says Dr. Brian Kaplan.


Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mentalhealth

Mental Health

How (And Why) We Should Learn To Laugh At Ourselves

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