The Kindness Test is the world's largest survey on what it means to be kind. It's shed light on the barriers that stop us from being kind – but also that empathy truly is international.More than 60,000 people from 144 countries chose to take part, making it the world's largest psychological study on the topic of kindness.

Being Kinder

<ul><li>The biggest factor associated with kindness wasn't age or income, but personality.</li><li>People who talk to strangers more often not only observe but receive more kindness themselves.</li><li>Our fears of talking to strangers usually don't live up to reality and people tend to enjoy it more than they expect to.</li><li>When regions of the world were compared, the fear of misinterpretation was lower in the US than in the UK or in countries in Africa.</li><li>In the US, the use of social media was more often given as a barrier to kindness</li></ul>

The Global Kindness Study: Results

The Kindness Test is the world's largest survey on what it means to be kind. It's shed light on the barriers that stop us being kind – but also that empathy truly is international.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

philosophy

Philosophy

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

What stops people from being kinder?

The meaning of colors are often imbued with great symbolic power. Even in the modern English-speaking world, where superstitious beliefs have largely faded in the light of scientific knowledge, many colors have retained their ancient associations.Most people know that brides often wear white, that "seeing red" means being angry, and that one can feel "green with envy." But learning why these connotations exist requires a look back to the beliefs and practices of the ancients.

The Meaning Of Colours

In moments of rage, lust or embarrassment, bright red oxygenated blood rushes to the skin's surface as a response to your “fight or flight” sympathetic nervous system. There are many theories as to why human and non-human species have evolved this physiological trait, however many center their conclusions around asserting dominance or appearing more attractive to a potential mate. A study published in the journal Nature found that several soccer teams achieved greater match results while wearing predominantly red shirts than while playing in other colours, such as white and blue.

Throughout history, white has been synonymous with purity and virtue, which lends itself to many religious ceremonies. For example, wearing white to a wedding dates back more than 2,000 years when Roman brides wore white tunics to signal a woman’s virginity. In many Asian cultures, particularly in China, white is not a traditional used for wedding gowns – red or gold may be more commonly seen wedding colours – but is worn instead of black at funeral services and is a symbol of mourning, according to Yerevan State University.

White

Of all mysteries, death may have been the biggest. Ancient people were completely "in the dark" about what would happen to them after death, and so it was (and is) represented by the colour black in many cultures. There was the added coincidence of death sharing similarities with sleep, which happens in the darkness of night and when closed eyelids block out all light. Throughout history, the colour black has also been attached to fearful and mysterious things, such as black magic, <a href="https://www.livescience.com/black-holes.html">black holes</a>, the black plague and so on.

Black

Purple symbolizes royalty, nobility and imperialism. In many European societies, the symbolism was even established by law: From ancient Rome to Elizabethan England, "sumptuary laws" forbade anyone except close members of the royal family to wear the colour, according to Harvard Law School.Purple's elite status stems from the rarity and cost of the dye originally used to produce it. Fabric traders obtained "Tyrian purple," as the dye was called, from a small mollusk that was found only in a region of the Mediterranean Sea near Tyre, a Phoenician trading city located in modern-day Lebanon.

Purple

The primary association of the colour blue for most of recorded history was with truth a meaning that leaves a remnant in our language in the phrase "true blue." This was because blue is the colour of a calm and clear sky, and it is a calm reflection that leads to truth.Today, though, blue mainly conveys sadness and despair. When you've "got the blues," you're down in the dumps. The connotation may relate to tears and rain, as the water was typically represented in people's minds as blue.

Blue

Aside from its association with wisdom, green in its degraded sense gives us 'the green-eyed monster jealousy,' which is the direct opposite of celestial wisdom, for jealousy is always due to the intrusion of the desires of the self, while celestial wisdom wishes to give rather than to receive.The colour green has also been firmly attributed to the environment – in particular when used to illustrate products or campaigns which support the health of the planet.

Green

It isn't surprising that yellow symbolizes happiness, warmth and sunshine in most cultures; these are characteristics of the yellow sun and its effects.In ancient cultures where a god or gods were associated with the sun, such as Egypt and China, yellow was the highest and noblest of colours and thus, the colour of religious figures and royals (who were thought to be descendants of the gods). Along with warmth and happiness, yellow also represents cowardliness and deceit.

Yellow

Similarly to red, orange has a range of symbolic meanings and connotations – for example – in many Western cultures orange is often used for fun, strength, courage and creativity, according to the Huffington Post. In recent history, though, orange has come to denote a warning and is used for high visibility clothing (such as spacesuits ) and safety equipment (such as traffic cones). This association is a practical one: Orange contrasts most strongly with the colour blue and therefore is highly visible against a clear sky.

Orange

The Historical meanings and symbolism with Colours

The meaning of colors can including anger, virtue, death and royalty.

How 8 Colors Got Their Symbolic Meanings

As we juggle the demands of this ongoing pandemic, friendships have shifted in all sorts of unexpected ways. Many people now seem to have less stamina for socializing.People became used to having smaller social circles, and some realized they prefer keeping it that way. As a result, these people might be more choosy about the friendships they do invest time in. That’s mostly a good thing, but it can be painful for the people who are hurt that they are no longer a priority.

Fewer Friends For All

A lopsided friendship happens when one friend is more active in maintaining contact and the other friend is more passive about keeping the connection going. It’s understandable to be sad or upset if you’re the one constantly reaching out, sending thoughtful messages and asking if you can schedule brunch or happy hour together.We live longer if we feel connected and supported. So when someone expresses that they’re perhaps not as interested in being friends with us or they need a break or whatever, that can trigger this innate fear inside of us that we’re going to be alone or unvalued.

Lopsided Friendships

It’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume that if we don’t hear from someone as often as we’d like to, that means they don’t like us, or they don’t value our friendship. More likely: The other person is just busy — it’s not that deep.The solution for baseless assumptions? Challenge these beliefs, which are likely way off-base. Are these negative thoughts based in reality, or is this your insecurity speaking?

Resist the Urge to Make Assumptions

People often wait to alert their friend to an issue until it’s boiled over from annoyance to full-on anger. The best time to address the issue is when you begin feeling that distance or imbalance in the relationship.You might be tempted to blurt out, “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while. What gives?” But that could put your friend on the defence. Instead, let them know you’re reaching out to them out of a desire for their company, and not accusing them of what they’re failing to do.

Invite, Don’t Accuse

Your friend may be feeling like this is more of a logistics problem, and isn’t aware that you’re open to changing your established routine. So the next time you reach out, you could say something like:<ul><li>Would you want to try something different the next time we meet? Maybe we can grab tea instead of cocktails?</li><li>Instead of meeting up for brunch, maybe we could grab a coffee or go for a walk in the park?</li><li>Maybe we can go on a double date so we can include our significant others?</li></ul>

Be Flexible

Your friend also might prefer to change the mode and frequency of communication. Maybe texting is better for them instead of taking phone calls. Or they might want to talk on the phone once a week instead of exchanging DMs on a social platform they’re no longer using. Ask!

Changing The Medium

Lots of people may find themselves on the opposite side of the spectrum: They’re the ones who are too snowed under to invest in their friendships. In this case, it is your responsibility, as a friend, to let the other person know about what they can expect from you for the foreseeable future. It saves a lot of heartache for everyone if you tell them the truth about what is going on with you.

If You’re the One Who Can’t Prioritize Your Friendships, Be Upfront About It

If you need to let a friend know you won’t be as available in the future try saying this:<ul><li>I know we tend to talk on the phone for hours, but I probably have an hour max on Sundays before I have to prepare for the week.</li><li>It’s been really hard for me to talk on the phone lately, so texting is the best way to reach me these next few weeks.</li><li>Hey, I know we usually talk every week. In this season of work, I’m swamped. I’ll drop you a line when things calm down.</li></ul>

Giving The Signal

If you think a pal is way less (or way more) invested than you are, here’s what to do.

communication

Communication

How to handle a lopsided friendship

Failing to set boundaries early on in a new job is not only exhausting but also traps you into high expectations that you need to continually live up to, which can be demoralizing and unsustainable. Here are a few strategies on how to set healthy limits in the first days of a new job so that you can balance your own needs and make a good impression in the process: 1) identify what’s driving you, 2) consider the upside, 3) articulate and share your personal preferences, 4) apply your energy strategically, and 5) create and follow through on new habits.

Set Healthy Boundaries In Your New Job: Key Takeaways

Many high-achievers have a tendency to push too hard in their first days in an effort to prove themselves. If you have ever done this, then maybe you volunteered for additional tasks to appear helpful, answered emails after hours to be perceived as responsive, or otherwise overextended yourself to justify you were a worthwhile hire.

Overstretching Yourself In Every Direction

Reflect on what underlies your desire to prove yourself. Many of your motivations are probably positive, such as having passion for the job or wanting to show you’re hardworking and conscientious. But it’s also likely that certain fears are driving you to self-sabotage. Unhelpful beliefs typically start with phrases like:<ul><li>I should…</li><li>I must…</li><li>I have to…</li></ul>Naming your fears reduces the hold they have over you and empowers you to reframe beliefs around your self-worth and your work.

Identify What’s Driving You

Self-management — an emotional intelligence skill associated with regulating your time and energy — is an essential leadership skill that accounts for up to 90% of career success. Setting boundaries proves you have self-awareness and possess strong time management, prioritization, and communication skills.Setting boundaries when starting a new job means you not only display important leadership capabilities but also allow you to teach people how to treat you. In other words, your behaviour signals to others what is acceptable or unacceptable.

Consider the Upside

Think about the physical, mental, and emotional boundaries you need to be at your best. That may include defining:<ul><li>What time you will start and end work.</li><li>Response times for emails and messages.</li><li>Calendar blocks for focused work or “no meeting” time.</li><li>The frequency and duration of breaks during the day.</li><li>Resource or training requirements needed to do your job.</li><li>The type of work you enjoy doing the most and what you have the bandwidth for.</li></ul>Be proactive about communicating your boundaries with your manager and team.

Articulate and Share Your Personal Preferences

Your first few weeks and months on a job undoubtedly contribute to your reputation. It’s important to go above and beyond, but to do so selectively and strategically. You want to make sure you’re devoting energy to the highest impact areas. Suss out your boss’ goals and expectations and then align your efforts with those top priorities so you can provide value.Likewise, focus on recruiting your bench of advocates and supporters.

Apply Your Energy Strategically

A new job offers a new beginning and a chance to reset. In psychology, this is known as the <a href="https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1415086111">fresh start effect</a>, or the tendency to take action toward a goal after a special milestone, occasion, or key date has passed. Use this time period to your advantage and put bad habits behind you.
Holding yourself accountable to your boundaries is key. Perhaps you schedule a check-in with yourself once a week to assess your progress, or maybe you create a tracker to log your achievements.

Create and Follow Through on New Habits

You can prioritize your needs and make a good impression in the process.

career

Career

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

How to Set Healthy Boundaries When Starting a New Job

People diet for many reasons, including to lose weight, gain muscle or improve sporting performance. The requirements of these diets can be worlds apart, but there’s one thing they often share: ‘cheat days’.A cheat day is a scheduled break in a diet. The concept emerged around the same time as ‘clean eating’, and is based on the idea that a dieter can ‘cheat’ for one day a week as long as they eat to their diet plan for the remaining six days. Social media has increased awareness of these days off, notably among those dieting to gain muscle.

Diets: The Cheat Day

<a href="https://www.academia.edu/30884726/A_thematic_content_analysis_of_cheatmeal_images_on_social_media_Characterizing_an_emerging_dietary_trend">A study</a> published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders analysed a sample of 600 Instagram images from 1.6 million tagged with #cheatmeal. More than half of these contained “very large quantities of calorie-dense food”, providing an insight into the types of meals considered a cheat. Hamburgers, chips, pizzas and ice cream were commonly featured. The study also found #cheatmeal is often featured alongside muscular bodies.

Cheat Day: The Study

Two main motivations for #cheatmeals are identified. First is the theory that cheat days boost your metabolism, causing you to burn more calories. The logic goes that when you restrict your calorie intake, your body eventually adapts and resets your metabolism to your new lower intake. Second is the theory that cheat days help you stick to your diet. Your levels of leptin fall when you diet, and this can make it harder to resist eating. The theory goes that cheat days help keep your leptin levels up.

The Two Theories Of Cheat Meals

Both these ideas suggest that cheat meals should be planned into a diet rather than being a spur-of-the-moment thing.Big cheat meals may not be a big deal for the Rock, as he is an ex-wrestler who has built up a diet and exercise routine over decades and is already in the shape he wants to be in. But that does not mean they’re not a big deal for the rest of us.

Planned Meals

A cheat meal can be more of a psychological tool than a physical one. It’s something to look forward to.Can cheat days actually keep your levels of leptin up and therefore suppress your feelings of hunger? Whether leptin has a role to play in controlling body weight is still a subject of debate among scientists, and the evidence that leptin actually increases after a cheat day is inconclusive.Wanting a cheat day can also be a “reflection of a very restrictive and unenjoyable diet. The more you restrict some foods, the more you’ll think about them.

Sticking To Your Diet

A moderate weight-loss diet that doesn’t leave you craving cheat days is likely to be more beneficial for physical and mental health than a very restrictive diet with cheat days.One version of the ‘cheat day’ is the ‘treat day’, which sounds more positive, but it still alludes to some foods being good and others bad. No one food is bad, it is how much and how often you eat it that counts.Some foods are more nutritionally dense than others but food isn’t just good or bad. It needs to be “repackaged” to add other elements, such as enjoyment.

The Treat Day

The most effective strategy for long-term weight-loss and heart health is a healthy dietary pattern that’s compatible with what you like to eat and your lifestyle. It’s about finding what works for you. Cheat days can have a psychological effect, and it can be positive or negative – for some people it can be easier to stick with a restricted diet if you have a cheat day to look forward.

To Cheat Or Not

The experts take a look at the popular cheat day and discuss whether it is a good idea on a diet.

food

Food

health

Health

habits

Habits

Are diet ‘cheat days’ ever a good idea?

The sociology of the internet is a subfield of sociology where researchers focus on how the internet plays a role in facilitating communication and interaction and how it affects and is affected by social life. In the late 1990s, the sudden widespread adoption of the internet in the US and other Western nations drew the attention of sociologists. Internet technology allowed for new forms of communication and information and new ways of spreading it. Sociologists wanted to understand how these would impact people's lives, the cultural patterns, social trends and larger social structure.

The sociology of the internet

Paul DiMaggio and colleagues wrote the earliest sociological essay about this subfield, titled " Social Implications of the Internet." It outlined the concerns within the internet, such as:<ul><li>the digital divide</li><li>relationships between the internet and community and social capital</li><li>the impact of the internet on political participation</li><li>how internet technology impacts organisations and economic institutions and our relationships to them</li><li>cultural participation and cultural diversity</li></ul>

Historical view of sociology of the internet

The roles of internet communication technologies (ICTs) have evolved in our lives, their impacts on social relations and society overall. So, too, the sociological approach to studying them has evolved. Digital sociology now considers the variety of ICT devices we use in our lives, how we use them and the implications these technologies have for social life and society.

Digital sociology in today's world

Since 2012, a handful of sociologists have focused on defining the subfield of digital sociology. The subfield became formalised in the UK when the British Sociological Association members created a new study group designed to develop a set of best practices for digital sociology. In the U.S., there is no formalised organisation around the subfield, but many sociologists have turned to the digital in research focus and methods. They can be found among research groups, including the American Sociological Association's sections on Communication, Information Technologies, and Media Sociology.

Development of Digital Sociology

<ul><li>The impact of ICTs on social relationships. For example, the role that social media plays in teen friendships today, rules of etiquette.</li><li>How ICTs are a part of the processes of crafting and expressing identity.</li><li>The impact of ICTs and social media on political expression, activism, and campaigning.</li><li>The role and impact of ICTs and the web in processes of building group affiliation and community, particularly among marginalized groups.</li></ul>

Key areas of study of digital sociology

Digital sociology offers a way of addressing the changing relationships we have in digital societies.

The sociology of the internet emerged in the 1990s, and over the years morphed into the fascinating and growing subfield of digital sociology.

technologyandthefuture

Technology & The Future

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

From the Sociology of the Internet to Digital Sociology: An Overview

History has shown that cooperation is reliable under the right conditions and with the right people, even under the most trying circumstances. However, the capacity to cooperate is not universal, nor is it easy to put into practice.

Cooperative efforts are short-lived

Research shows it is nearly impossible to support reliable cooperation. We can encourage better cooperation by turning our attention to the possibility of new alliances. It encourages us to recognize the collective identity and efforts. Creative activities with others make us better equipped for the uncertain future. Our new friends and allies will work with us to ensure a positive outcome.

Making Cooperation More Reliable

It is vital to approach cooperation as a potentially transformative encounter, not as a sacrifice. There are three motivations behind our willingness to meaningfully cooperate:<ol><li>A moral motivation that is tied to our values.</li><li>A relational motivation to start and maintain a satisfying personal relationship with somebody.</li><li>An economic motivation to enrich or avoid loss.</li></ol>

Understanding What Motivates


When morally motivated, we cooperate based on how well the situation aligns with our personal values. However, when relationally motivated, we cooperate because we want and expect to maintain a satisfying personal relationship. We want to ensure that our relationship will grow stronger. This means that our perceived obligations to others can override our value systems.

Pals or Principles

Cooperation often has a short shelf-life. Understanding what motivates us in social exchanges can help us cooperate better with one another in our professional and personal lives.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

teamwork

Teamwork

How Cooperation Becomes Transformative

When it comes to accuracy in decision-making, there are two types of error: <ul><li>Bias, which is an average error</li><li>Noise is the variability of error.</li></ul> For example:In a noisy system, judges give vastly different sentences to defendants who committed the same crime. Some judges give a one-month sentence, others one year, others seven years, and others somewhere in between.In a biased system, judges might consistently give sentences too high for certain crimes. In many situations, noise is a more severe source of inaccuracy and error than bias.

Two types of error that influence decision-making

Bias in an average error. It is also a psychological mechanism that causes systematic errors in people's judgments. It explains why an individual will make one mistake over another. Noise is the phenomenon of individual differences. It's variability across individuals.

Bias vs noise

You can do a noise edit if you have several employees performing an interchangeable function, like different federal judges, doctors,  or different underwriters in an insurance company. In a noise audit, people are given a realistic problem that they could encounter on their job. Then look at the variability of judgments. If the judgements are variable, then errors are variable.

Organisations can address noise with a "noise audit"

If you realise that there's more variability than you expected, you have several possibilities:
<ul>
<li>If the judgement is relatively simple, consider if you actually need human judgment or if you can replace judgment with some rule or algorithm. For example, the Apgar score, how to decide whether infants are healthy, is a rule.</li>
<li>In more complex cases, try to discipline judgment with "decision hygiene". It is a disciplined process where people making judgments follow the same thought process and likely reach similar conclusions.</li>
</ul>

What to do after the noise audit

Decision hygiene is intended to reduce noise, but it is also applicable to single decisions where noise is invisible. When facing a decision with multiple options, treat options like job candidates. Break up the problem and evaluate various aspects of the option, just like you would break up various traits of candidates. Do that while keeping the specific judgements:<ul><li>fact-based as much as possible</li><li>as independent of each other as possible</li></ul>

Decisions hygiene is a disciplined process

Wherever there is judgment, there will be noise. When trying to reduce noise, you can expect some pushback as people perceive what is happening as limiting their options and as a bureaucratic infringement on their role. Employees who are affected by this have to see this as something that helps them do their job, rather than something that replaces them or constrains them too much.  The purpose is not to eliminate intuition, but to delay it - to engage in a disciplined thought process before they form an intuition or global judgment.

Noise can be reduced, not eliminated

Reducing noise is primarily for organizations that make judgments and decisions, and it wants to do that with one voice. Noise is unwanted variability. In many other situations, diversity is actually interesting and valuable, for example, film reviewers and creative processes. There are also situations where a team with diverse expertise make partial judgments that you don't want to be identical. You want them to reflect different characteristics of the problem.

Situations where noise reduction doesn't apply

Lessons in Decision-Making from Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman

books

Books

problemsolving

Problem Solving

The Art of Decision-Making

Noise is unwanted variability in judgments. Noise covers another way we make systematic errors in decision-making.

Ten years on from "Thinking Fast and Slow", Kahneman is back with a new book, Noise, that will again have you questioning what you thought you knew about making decisions.

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

A Conversation with Daniel Kahneman About “Noise” - By Evan Nesterak - Behavioral Scientist

Historically, it has been difficult to empirically explain why we like certain colours.
It is still difficult to explain why people like some colors more than others. Here are some theories that may help us understand why we have favorites.

Why We Have Favourite Colours

Through a series of lab studies between 2010 and 2017, assistant professor Karen Schloss and her collaborator, Stephen Palmer PhD hypothesized the Ecological Valence Theory (EVT), which they describe as people that "like/dislike a given colour to the degree that they like/dislike all of the objects and entities that they associate with that colour." People often like blue hues because it reminds them of clear skies and clean water. People tend to shy away from brown hues because they remind us of faeces or rotting food.

Ecological Valence Theory

To explore EVT, Schloss and Palmer conducted a series of studies. Participants ranked colour preferences, what colours reminded them of particular objects, and if those objects represented positive or negative things. This resulted in Weighted Affected Valence Estimates (WAVE). They found that  80% of the change in average colour preferences from one group to another was based on how much other people like objects related to those colours. With this data, they could explore different topics of colour preferences like individual preferences, changes over time or even cultural preferences.

Color WAVE

A person may have positive or negative feelings about certain colours because of their experience with objects of those colours over time. Young girls tend to like pink and purple colours because they are often exposed to clothes, toys and television shows they enjoy that use those colours. They see vomit and other gross substances in the yellowish-greenish hues, making them apt to dislike those colours.

How  Someone Feels About Objects of that Colour

Colour preference may be part of our evolutionary design. Colour preferences guide us toward positive things for our general health and well-being and away from negative things. Choosing a colour we like for our loveseat helps us thrive while avoiding colours that cause us to fail. We have a learning mechanism to learn associations between colours and objects or concepts and then use them to inform our judgments about colours.

An Evolutionary Drive to Be Happy

We all have favorite colors. But have you ever considered why you like one color more than another?

Science Explains Why We Have Favorite Colors

According to the Mayo Clinic, laughing has short- and long-term effects on our health. As we bring in more oxygen, it stimulates our heart, lungs, and muscles. Laughing increases the endorphins that are released by our brain, and it cools down our stress response. Over a longer period of time, laughter can improve our immune system, relieve pain, and increase personal satisfaction.

Laughter Can Be Good Medicine

While it’s easy to laugh at something funny, the ability to laugh at yourself can help you address the challenges that could be holding you back in your career and life, says Dr. Brian Kaplan, author of Almost Happy: Pushing Your Buttons with Reverse Psychology.“To laugh at one’s self is an excellent thing,” he says. “Humor can be a very powerful way of helping people, proving that helping doesn’t have to be a solemn experience.”

Helping Doesn’t Have To Be Solemn

Kaplan studied the work of Frank Farrelly, an innovative therapist who founded Provocative Therapy in the 1960s. Provocative Therapy uses humor and reverse psychology to provoke people to change. With the person’s explicit permission, you repeat what you hear their “sub-selves” saying and you do it with humor, warmth, and affection.

Provocative Therapy

Provocative Therapy is a system of psychotherapy in which the therapist plays the devil’s advocate, siding with the negative half of the client’s ambivalence toward his life’s goals, his relationships, work and the structures within which he lives. The provocative therapist also plays the Satanic role by facetiously agreeing with the doom and gloom feelings and expectations of the client, and “tempting” him to continue his “sinning,” his self-defeating attitudes and behavioral patterns.

Whose Side Are You On?

“We all have sub-selves, or sub-personalities, such as our inner child,” says Kaplan. “That’s a nice use of a sub-self. But we also have sub-selves that dominate us. They’re loud, grab the microphone, and dominate the whole personality.”For example, you may relate to a sub-self of the workaholic. You could justify that you need to work 15 hours a day because you’re paying for your children’s education, a new house, or a vacation home.

Our Sub-Selves

Laugh at yourself by reaffirming the workaholic’s devotion to work. For example, you can tell yourself, “You should definitely spend all your time focusing on making more money and acquiring more businesses or investing in the market. Your children will be judged by their clothes and vacations. They don’t need you; they need your money.”

Self-Subversion How-to

“When you can laugh at that side—especially when it’s a bit over the top—then you can laugh at that part of you that’s sabotaging yourself,” says Kaplan. “That moment of laughter provides a window of opportunity to recognize what’s holding you back and prescribe your own solution. And laughter and the warmth of it is like a medicine that allows you to deal with something that’s often quite painful.”

Laughter And The Warmth Of It

In his book, Kaplan identifies more than 100 sub-selves that could be holding you back. For example, you may be a procrastinator. In this case, you can talk to yourself by saying, “Never underestimate the power of tomorrow!” “Always make magnanimous resolutions on your finest night, New Year’s Eve.” And “Meditate on the many horrible consequences of most impulsive decisions and actions.”

Sub-Self: The Procrastinator

Another sub-self is the grim executive, which Kaplan calls “the stone-faced men and women of big business. Anyone feeling the burden of being held responsible for profit and loss.” In this case, you can call out the sub-self by saying, “It’s a badge of honor to look ten years older than you are. Don’t forget your annual visit to the cardiologist.”Other sub-selves include being a people pleaser, robot, doormat, critic, and ego maniac.

Sub-Self: The Grim Executive

“Mark Twain once said, ‘Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand,'” says Kaplan. “Once you’re laughing at the sub self, you’re acutely aware of it. Normally, you don’t think of the trait as a sub-self. When it takes you over, you think ‘I’m angry’ or ‘I’m under stress,’ because the sub-self has taken your whole personality there. When you can identify it as a part of you and not your entire being, you can quiet it down.”

A Part, Not The Whole

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

If you would not be laughed at, be the first to laugh at yourself.

We probably all know what it’s like when others push our buttons and drive us crazy. What if we pushed our own buttons and drove ourselves happy? 

The ability to laugh at yourself can help you address the challenges that could be holding you back in your career and life, says Dr. Brian Kaplan.


mindfulness

Mindfulness

mentalhealth

Mental Health

How (And Why) We Should Learn To Laugh At Ourselves

Find 100+ Psychology Facts about Human Behaviour, Mind or Nature - Curated from Videos, Podcasts, Books & Articles - Genuine Insights from Other People