How to use others' feedback to learn and grow | Sheila Heen | TEDxAmoskeagMillyardWomen - Deepstash

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This talk offers excellent insights into why nobody likes feedback, why feedback is good, and how to get the best out of feedback.

How to use others' feedback to learn and grow | Sheila Heen | TEDxAmoskeagMillyardWomen

How to use others' feedback to learn and grow | Sheila Heen | TEDxAmoskeagMillyardWomen

TEDx Talks


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People all over the world struggle with feedback.

In any feedback exchange between giver and receiver, it's the receiver who decides what they're going to let in and whether and how they will choose to change. However, if we could get bette...

Receiving feedback is a skill

Getting a better handle on feedback changes you and how other people perceive you.

Think about a suggestion or advice you've received in your life that you've rejected. There could be hundreds of reasons why you didn't take it. Maybe it was wrong or bad ad...

Three kinds of triggered reactions

  • Truth triggers. Is the feedback correct? However, we all have blind spots. It's tricky to figure out what the givers are trying to tell you.
  • Relationship triggers. All feedback lives in the relationship between giver and receiver. We often have a

Psychologists estimate that 50 percent of our reactions are based on genetic wiring, 40 percent on the story you tell yourself, and 10 percent on the actual circumstances.

  • The story you tell yourself about the feedback you get has a huge impact on how you feel about it...

Some people are very sensitive to feedback, while others are the opposite. Both have their own challenges with feedback.

The sensitive person

One piece of feedback can suddenly become everything. It becomes super-sized. You may look at all your past mistakes, and it s...

How to encourage feedback

  • Identity. Ask your friends or colleagues, "what is the one thing I'm doing or failing to do that you think is getting in the way?
  • What is the one thing I could change about how I run our weekly meeting that would be an improvement?
  • What is the one thing th...

We have two core human needs.

  • We want to learn and grow
  • We also have a need to be accepted and respected and loved the way we are now. Feedback suggests that how we are now is not ok.

However, sometimes, the most painful things in our lives are some of the...

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