How to Cope with Perfectionism When It Harms You and Your Relationships - Deepstash
How to Cope with Perfectionism When It Harms You and Your Relationships

How to Cope with Perfectionism When It Harms You and Your Relationships

Curated from: psychologytoday.com

Ideas, facts & insights covering these topics:

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Perfectionism Test

Perfectionism Test

  • ​You want the "honeymoon" to last forever
  • You try to please your partner and have their needs met all the time
  • After a fight, you are worried that they will change their mind about you or that the relationship is falling apart
  • You view conflict as a failure
  • You work really hard to make the relationship work
  • You place a lot of expectations on yourself and you exhaust yourself trying to meet them
  • You are hyper-vigilant, always looking for mistakes
  • You overanalyse the significance of small setbacks in your relationship
  • You have a lot of rules and theories on "how to be a perfect partner"

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Recognize the costs of perfectionism

Recognize the costs of perfectionism

Consider how it’s affecting your own happiness or preventing you from reaching your goals.

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Learn the benefits of imperfection

Learn the benefits of imperfection

Among the benefits are increased self-confidence and getting more enjoyment out of life.

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Recognize the fears behind perfectionism

Recognize the fears behind perfectionism

You may be fearful of what would happen if you did not set such high standards. This is part of the all-or-none thinking in perfectionism. It is highly doubtful that your behavior would shift to the other extreme of being sloppy or lazy if you stopped being a perfectionist, although this is a common fear.

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Practice self compassion

Practice self compassion

A self-compassionate person can allow themselves to make a mistake and learn from it, rather than self-criticize. If you do recall trauma in your early life, know that your perfectionism is likely one result of that trauma. Journal your negative self-talk and correct them with more compassionate and realistic statements.

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Start focusing on being "good enough

Start focusing on being "good enough

A good-enough outcome gets the job done, which is often more important than getting it done perfectly.

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