Why Fakeness is Ruining You and How to End Toxic Energy

Here’s the big idea:

We absolutely can grow out of friends, just like we grow out of clothes.

Our taste and preferences change over time.

…And this is not a bad thing. Its ok to let eachother go.

True friends are people who are there for you during life’s up and down moments.

They are genuinely happy for you when you succeed, and will be there for you when you ask them for help that is within their boundaries.

Real friendship is a two way process, making you feel loved, happy, and supported, unlike fake friends.

These are some signs that you have a genuine friendship, and not a fake one:

• Real friends give us their attention and are present to our needs.
• They support us when we are feeling down.
• True friends are genuine and keep their promises.
• They are there for you even if they can’t get something from you.
• They accept your flaws.
• They actively listen rather than focus on themselves.
• True friends make us want to become better.

Obligatory Friend: Someone you don’t enjoy spending time with, but end up spending time with because you feel guilty. It’s a habit you do not know how to stop.

It all starts with the Spheres of Interest. When you first meet someone, you are not sure how many of your interests and their interests overlap. You both have spheres of interest, and you wonder how much overlaps..

Sometimes interests can be points of relevance such as:

• Working at the same company
• Living in the same building
• Going to the same school
• Playing on the same team
• Being a part of the same organization
• Having gone on the same trip

The more you have in common, the more relevant someone is to you.

In great relationships, the Spheres of Interest move closer together. Its natural when the circles move apart. Its how you handle it that counts.. be logical. Not emotional.

When you force yourself to spend time with someone or pretend to have a good time, you either are lying to yourself, or lying to them. This is not truthful living. You are not serving anyone by maintaining this ruse.

Having history with someone is not enough fuel for a real friendship lasting forever.

There comes a point in some unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships where the friendship bubble needs bursting. The lies. The faking it. The pretending everything is fine. It needs to stop.

Friendship break-ups should be treated EXACTLY like romantic break-ups.

The same way we don't tolerate toxic behaviour from a potential partner, we shouldn't tolerate toxic energy from a friendship of any time span.

Are there people who you are close with for the wrong reasons? Are there people who you are lying to yourself about? Are there people you dread hanging out with?

Letting them go helps you both.

When we say no to relationships that don’t serve us, we make room for relationships that do. There is no need to lie and make up BS to prolong the inevitable. Just be honest and mature about it.

Guilt is not fuel.

History is not enough.

Feigned closeness is deception.

Be honest.

Have more time for real relationships.

Live in truth and with real friends.