Actually, it’s not surprising because we live in a culture that sees emotions as weakness. BE A MAN- A gnarly man who never cries.

It’s a mistake. It’s nonsense. It’s like a driving instructor would tell you, “Do you see those two pedals on the floor on the left? You must not step on them under any circumstances!”.

Let’s say sometimes you have to turn off emotions. I totally disagree with that (and I’ll say what’s the alternative), but what’s the problem? It cannot be done selectively.

There is a state of emotional darkness, or comfortable numbness as the Pink Floyd sings. You can get into it and we all know how: sugar, alcohol, nicotine, maybe a little stronger stuff. but why? For God’s sake? Why? it’s like cutting off your own leg that scratches your finger.

Okay good but what is the alternative? because after all to be such an emotional softie who’s just looking for a way to avoid emotional conflicts by serving others and not standing up for himself is also not good. obviously. So what?

I think it’s a matter of emotional fitness. That being a compulsive lecturer lacks assertiveness is a kind of haloshas. You have to work on the emotional muscles just like on the physical and mental ones. Again, it’s clear about physical fitness and mental fitness, why not about emotions? I already said why.

So what to do? first of all changing perception of emotions is good. Sensitivity is power. Thinking about others and considering what they think of us is necessary for the social creatures that we are, you just have to learn to get it right. Skillfully and efficiently.

Once you understand that, then first of all you discover that you can! Only until now you thought it was forbidden. Then, you can get better. There are already many sources created by people who have already realized that there is a problem and have developed tools for learning and coping with it. 

In the linked article, I share methods I used to create a fundamental change in my personality, while keeping Assertiveness and sensitivity to others two different things.