Let Go of Being the Perfect Partner

These are not signs of emotional maturity or intelligence, because there are some things that you should get upset about (an unfaithful or neglectful partner, for example).

Specific situations demand certain reactions, and this idea of people being “too much” or “crazy” is destructive because it causes you to act fake and pretend that your partner’s hurtful actions don’t bother you.

Learn how to regulate your emotions: cry, scream, get angry, but then calm down.

This way you’re exposing your partner to the way you really are, to what upsets you, and how you handle and resolve your feelings. The right partner should still love you once you open up in this way.

In relationships, there is usually one partner designated as the emotional rock. The risk with this: always being there for others can sometimes make you forget to take care of you.

The challenge is figuring out how to encourage your partner while holding on to your own identity and individuality.

You are allowed to make mistakes, search for yourself, and not have all the answers about who you really are.

If you begin a relationship on the supposition that you have everything figured out, you are setting yourself up for failure later on: Your relationship will be developed on unrealistic expectations, and your partner may be resentful once you reveal your true self.