Curated from: Cole Hastings
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We often find ourselves with nothing to say during conversations, which often leads nowhere and results in a lack of connection. However, by improving our conversational abilities, itโs possible to combat that.
As such, here are the three stages of having a good conversation:
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Many people struggle to get past this stage due to a fear of rejection; however, through introspection and confronting and coming to terms with the socializing problems in your past, you can overcome that.
Journaling is especially useful, and it can be helpful to ask yourself, โwhy do I feel like this person will not like me or care about what I have to say?โ and โdoes my social anxiety come from a bad childhood experience or recently?โ.
Once you let the past go, you can start approaching people again and relinquish your past selfโs control over you.
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Once you approach someone, youโre going to have to accept the fact that thereโs probably going to be some awkward small talk at first.
Transitioning from small talk to a deeper conversation is a skill that takes practice, but an easy way to start is by embracing the awkwardness and by not taking the conversation too seriously, as that will help make a conversation less awkward.
Regardless, youโre going to have to say something though, so to start a conversation, consider talking about something thatโs going on and expanding from there by adding input and asking questions (preferably open-ended)
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Donโt be interesting, be interested.
You donโt have to say a lot to have a good conversation, as actively listening to the people youโre talking with and building off of it is a great way to make them open up and to establish a good connection.
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If you become someone who is easy for others to talk to through what you say and how you act, others will mimic that behavior and do the same for you. Itโs also important to maintain eye contact, have an open posture, smile and nod to show youโre listening, etc., as being physically open will make others more comfortable around you.
Initiating vulnerability during the conversation through your words and not being afraid to talk about deeper subjects, as well as following up with open-ended questions, is another great way to make people open up to you.
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Itโs important to remember that the entire conversation doesnโt have to be deep and meaningful and that humor can also help forge strong connections.
Another thing is that most conversations in life are going to be messy, and thatโs okay, because the rare opportunities where that isnโt the case become so much more valuable as a result.
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IDEAS CURATED BY
โThe key to life is not accumulation, it is contribution.โ - Stephen Covey
CURATOR'S NOTE
Hereโs a summary of Cole Hastingsโs video on how to overcome social awkwardness.
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