Why You're So Awkward And Never Have Anything To Say - Deepstash
Why You're So Awkward And Never Have Anything To Say

Why You're So Awkward And Never Have Anything To Say

Curated from: Cole Hastings

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The Three Stages

The Three Stages

We often find ourselves with nothing to say during conversations, which often leads nowhere and results in a lack of connection. However, by improving our conversational abilities, it’s possible to combat that.

As such, here are the three stages of having a good conversation:

  1. The Approach.
  2. The Small Talk.
  3. The Deeper Conversation.


662 reads

The Approach

The Approach

Many people struggle to get past this stage due to a fear of rejection; however, through introspection and confronting and coming to terms with the socializing problems in your past, you can overcome that.

Journaling is especially useful, and it can be helpful to ask yourself, “why do I feel like this person will not like me or care about what I have to say?” and “does my social anxiety come from a bad childhood experience or recently?”.

Once you let the past go, you can start approaching people again and relinquish your past self’s control over you.


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The Small Talk

The Small Talk

Once you approach someone, you’re going to have to accept the fact that there’s probably going to be some awkward small talk at first.

Transitioning from small talk to a deeper conversation is a skill that takes practice, but an easy way to start is by embracing the awkwardness and by not taking the conversation too seriously, as that will help make a conversation less awkward.

Regardless, you’re going to have to say something though, so to start a conversation, consider talking about something that’s going on and expanding from there by adding input and asking questions (preferably open-ended)


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You Don’t Have To Say Much

Don’t be interesting, be interested.

You don’t have to say a lot to have a good conversation, as actively listening to the people you’re talking with and building off of it is a great way to make them open up and to establish a good connection.


558 reads

The Deeper Conversation

The Deeper Conversation

If you become someone who is easy for others to talk to through what you say and how you act, others will mimic that behavior and do the same for you. It’s also important to maintain eye contact, have an open posture, smile and nod to show you’re listening, etc., as being physically open will make others more comfortable around you.

Initiating vulnerability during the conversation through your words and not being afraid to talk about deeper subjects, as well as following up with open-ended questions, is another great way to make people open up to you.


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A Few Final Thoughts

A Few Final Thoughts

It’s important to remember that the entire conversation doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful and that humor can also help forge strong connections.

Another thing is that most conversations in life are going to be messy, and that’s okay, because the rare opportunities where that isn’t the case become so much more valuable as a result.


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“The key to life is not accumulation, it is contribution.” - Stephen Covey


Here’s a summary of Cole Hastings’s video on how to overcome social awkwardness.

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