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It’s key to connecting with people to suspend your ego; to put your own needs, wants and opinions aside. Anxiety does the opposite bringing your feelings and expectations to the forefront.
Focus on the other person. Simply listen to what they have to say and ask them to tell you more.
Thoughtfully observe your fear and imagine the worst that could happen.
Realizing the consequences of what scares you are not too dire reminds you that you are not afraid of what other people will do but of the feelings it will cause in you. It’s a fear of something you will cause to yourself and that can be changed.
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Resilience is most times associated with being tough. But that’s not gonna get you very far with feelings. Don't try to be invulnerable. Aim for flexibility instead.
You cannot avoid or resist all pain in life. But you can learn to live with your discomfort better.
We have trouble dealing with feelings because the usual problem-solving rules don't really apply to them.
When faced with a problem, we can always avoid it or deny it. But attempting to resist negative feelings won’t work. Any attempt at suppression only amplifies them. We must go from avoidance to acceptance.
Forgive. Research indicates that forgiveness makes you less angry and more healthy.
Sometimes suppression is the only thing you can do to avoid an escalation. And sometimes reappraisal can cause you to tolerate bad situations.
But that said, telling yourself a more compassionate story about what’s going on inside the other person’s head is usually the best way to go.
While we may not like to admit this, we all are making a lot of bad decisions, be it our personal lives, careers or in our jobs. Here is what research says about making good decisions:
If there is too much information, we tend to make the wrong decision, and even if our decision is well-researched and considered right, we end up dissatisfied.
The right information, even if less, provides clarity to make the right decision.
A gut feeling, or an instinct, is often the right path, and points towards the right decision.
Ultra-rational, logical and unemotional decision-making does not guarantee that the decision taken will be the right one.