• Soft language: it uses “I” statements and focuses on the actions that took place, how they made us feel, and what we want to happen.
• Hard language: it starts with a generic hyperbole like “You always…” or “Why do you never…” 

The softer and kin...

It's useful to agree in advance to call a “timeout” or “press pause” before arguments begin.

It will give you the time to work through what happened. Because arguing when you are in a low emotional state is not going to help you.

Ask yourself these questions: “What if the other person had a point? What if I wasn’t being honest with myself? What if I wasn’t taking responsibility for something?”

This will provide a new lens through which you'll see the situation. You might realize that ther...

Fights often get out of control when you are both full of emotion and expressing it from a place of fear. 

One of you has to have enough presence, away from your emotions, to create this safe space within which to have a conversation, to share and be heard.