How to Recover From a Breakup the Healthy Way - Deepstash

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How to Recover From a Breakup the Healthy Way

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-recover-from-a-breakup-the-healthy-way_b_5722120

huffpost.com

How to Recover From a Breakup the Healthy Way
The pain can be excruciating and debilitating. Our human instinct is to run from it, move on, distract ourselves from feeling the tsunami of emotions that consume our hearts and destroy the landscape of the daily lives we once knew. How do I know? I've done it over and over again.

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Go home

The first step in recovery is to go home. We all have a home, whether in our friendships or in our family. 

Our homes are like health insurance for the spirit. Your friends and family are there to protect you in your darkest times and insure your spirit is safe, sound and healthy. We all need connection in order to heal because love is the ultimate healer.

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Spend time with your friends

Friendships (if you are lucky enough to find the right friends) are unconditional, reciprocal and capable of nourishing your heart back to full if you allow them to.

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Grief does you, you don’t do grief

Grief is like a squall in the middle of the ocean. It comes without warning and despite how hard you try to avoid it or suppress it, you can’t. Let the tears, screams and sobs pour out of you.

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Jumping into a new relationship

Someone who holds onto the branch of one relationship and immediately swings to grab hold of the branch of a new relationship before letting go of the old one is like an orangutan.

If you hope to meet a life partner you must be whole and healed first. You have space and time to look back at the landscape of your relationship and learn from it, so you don’t make the same mistakes again.

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Reboot your nervous system

The person we choose to be with becomes ingrained in our nervous system over time. The only way to get them out is to reboot our systems, just as we do with our computer.

It takes discipline and patience to rewire yourself.

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Learning from the past

Every relationship teaches us something. Even a toxic, abusive relationship has a curriculum we can learn from.

We will then be prepared for the world and able to meet a partner who will mirror the love we have for ourselves.

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Plan something to look forward to

Having something on the horizon to plan for, get excited about and anticipate, propels us forward. It is vital to the healing process. 

Everyone can plan something, whether it’s a day trip to a nearby town or a big trip somewhere far away.

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Settle for the perfect fit

Life is holding you accountable for all of your decisions because you know better now. 

Until the day you meet the right partner, enjoy this life you've built full of friends, passions, travels and love.

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Pretending you’re normal and trying to fit in with the innocents in your midst keeps you sad and negative.

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Converse with your negative self

Try inviting your sad and negative self to find out why you feel this way. You won’t know what you truly want until you listen patiently to yourself. If you give it time, you'll find out what you really long for.

Sometimes, it is something about the way you've structured your days that doesn't honor the potential and countless possibilities that are stretched out before you. Or something about your anxiety has caused you to build things that restrict you. Your fears will keep you inside predictable shapes.