How to Give an Effective Explanation (Not an Excuse) - Deepstash





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How to Give an Effective Explanation (Not an Excuse)

How to Give an Effective Explanation (Not an Excuse)
You just dropped the ball. But, here's the thing you want everybody to know: It absolutely wasn't all your fault. Nope, those good-for-nothing folks in the marketing department were late in getting you the information you desperately needed. Or, something weird happened with your calendar app and all of your dates got mixed up.


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Avoid Qualifiers

Prefacing your explanation with things like, “I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses, but…” can send the wrong message.

Jump right in with the information that's relevant and im...




Not being able to deliver on what was expected of you warrants an apology - even if there were other factors contributing to the situation.

An apology demonstrates that you accept responsibil...



Move On

Acknowledge your mistakes and be willing to learn from them. Share exactly how you will avoid this same problem in the future.





Forgiveness is choosing to not let negative events of the past define how you feel.

Forgiveness can keep your emotional body healthy. It increases feelings of happiness and decreases ...

Forgiving is not the same as forgetting

You can forgive someone and still maintain a boundary. They may not even necessarily know you forgave them.

When you hold onto anger towards yourself or others, it weighs you down, drains your energy and increases your stress.

Living in the past

Resentment forces you to live in the past by fixing that person to that past moment.

Do not let yourself or the relationship be defined by anger. The ability to forgive and move on is critical for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship with the people you care about.

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Apologies are not about right and wrong

They're about taking responsibility for unintentionally (or even intentionally) hurting someone emotionally or physically.

You apologize less because of you and your c...

Rejection is normal

It's impossible to please everyone. And rejection is a way to figure out who’s compatible with whom: getting axed from a social group gives you space to find folks that are a little ...

It’s okay to feel pain

When we get rejected, our brains register an emotional chemical response so strong, it can physically hurt. 

We go through almost the same stages as if we were grieving (self-blame, trying to win back our rejecter because we hate being disliked, and feeling like a failure). These feelings are healthy and normal, so long as you don’t end up dwelling on them.

It’s not (totally) your fault

Rejection is personal, and it’s easy to start questioning your self-worth when someone makes it clear they don’t like you. 

But for the most part, being disliked is a matter of mutual compatibility. Keep in mind that likability has a lot to do with what you bring to someone else’s table, whether or not you realize it.