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We don’t actually fool anyone when we're trying to look happy, but our real feelings are far from positive.
Our expressions expose us and are registered and mirrored by other people. So trying to suppress negative emotions actually increases stress levels of both people more than if we had shared our distress in the first place.
The act of pretending translates into a big conscious effort of willpower that drains your brain of its ability to focus and do deep work.
Self-control is like a muscle, and like any muscle, when used repeatedly, it tires and will perform poorly. You'll also feel a lot of stress and anxiety in your body.
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Happiness is not a goal or something to pursue at a later time. Emotional health is a skill to be mastered, not a destination to eventually arrive at.
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Get perspective and clarity on which area of your life you have to focus on. Start by analyzing, examining and identifying the problem areas:
Emotions like overwhelm, anger, and frustration may indicate that others are intruding on your personal time or space.
Instead of pushing the feelings away, try understanding them. It ...
Start conversations about boundaries with a disclaimer to set the stage for a compassionate, permissive discussion.
Share your resolution to set boundaries. Explain why it’s important to you and how you believe it will benefit you.
People who have trouble setting boundaries usually have trouble responding to boundaries set by others.
Instead of feeling dismissed, angry, or rejected when friends or lovers put limits on your interactions, respond with “I value your honesty” or “I appreciate you sharing that with me”—even if the boundary was difficult to hear.