If Self-Discipline Feels Difficult, Then You're Doing It Wrong - Deepstash

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If Self-Discipline Feels Difficult, Then You're Doing It Wrong

https://markmanson.net/self-discipline

markmanson.net

If Self-Discipline Feels Difficult, Then You're Doing It Wrong
Here's how the story went: There was a hyper-productive sleep schedule that had been discovered by military scientists. They were testing the limits of sleep deprivation on soldiers and made this startling discovery. Supposedly, great historical figures like Napoleon and Da Vinci and Tesla followed the same sleep schedule and it's why they were so productive and influential in history.

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The Uberman Sleep Schedule

The Uberman Sleep Schedule
  • According to the Uberman research, Sleep follows the 80/20 Rule—that is, 80% of your recovery comes from 20% of the time you’re asleep.
  • The Uberman Sleep Schedule:  if you took 20-minute naps, every four hours, around the clock, you would “train” your brain to fall into REM sleep instantly the moment you tried to rest.
  • Sleep Deprivation is extremely dangerous for the mind and body.

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Self-discipline without Willpower

Once you resolve much of your shame, and once you’ve created situations to provide greater emotional benefits from doing the desired behavior than not doing it, you start to experience discipline without willpower.

You wake up early because it feels good to wake up early. You eat healthy because you feel good about not eating junk and having the right diet. The pain is still there, but you work with the pain rather than against it. You pursue it rather than run from it.

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About willpower

About willpower
  • Most people think of self-discipline in terms of willpower only, which is wrong.
  • Individuals who are able to follow the set rules of self-discipline also tend to be the ones who enjoy the routine.
  • To succeed in your self-discipline routine, your willpower must be trained steadily over a long period of time.

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Natural instincts

Natural instincts
  • Disciplining people through shame and guilt works well in society, and natural impulses/ instincts being suppressed by religion and philosophers.
  • The curbing of our natural instincts is a method employed to protect us from our over-indulgence and from our own natural desires.

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Self Discipline through Self Acceptance

  • De-link your personal failings from moral failings. You have to accept that you like to indulge occasionally and that this doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. 
  • Accept your shortcomings, leading yourself to eventually accept yourself as you are, without guilt or shame.
  • De-couple your emotions from your moral judgments.

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Benefits of Self Acceptance

Benefits of Self Acceptance

When you stop feeling bad about yourself:

  • There’s no need to indulge yourself anymore, as you are not hiding from yourself any longer.
  • You see no reason to punish yourself with guilt. You start to like yourself, so you want to take care of yourself.
  • You feel an urge to take care of yourself not out of will-power but out of self-love.
  • You feel good about your self-care, making the self-discipline routine last longer and having more impact.

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Our emotions are short-term biased

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“Risky” behavior you should consider

  • Propose “moonshot” ideas, knowing that 90% of them will get shot down, but that if one of them gets accepted, it will be a huge boost to your career.
  • Be excessively bold in your dating life, stating exactly who and what you want.
  • Buy difficult books expecting that most of them won’t be useful to you, but also that, occasionally, one will completely change your life.
  • Say yes to every invitation knowing that most of the events/people will be boring, but that occasionally you’ll meet someone really interesting.

Optimizing life for fewer regrets

Most of us are afraid of messing thing up. But we rarely ask, “Would I regret that failure?” If the answer is “no,” then that is absolutely a risk you should pursue.

Sometimes, the right decision becomes crystal clear when put into these terms.

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Sleep deprivation

Sleep deprivation

Willpower, memory, judgement, and attention all suffer when you are sleep deprived.

You drop things, crave junk food sugar, overeat, gain weight. You’re more irritable, negative, emotio...

Get through sleep deprivation:

  • Stabilize your blood sugar, by eating hearty food (protein and fat) more often.
  • Reduce refined carbs and increase fats and proteins.
  • B-complex vitamin supplements can give you an immediate boost in alertness and mental clarity.
  • Soak in an Epsom salt bath - might even help you get enough energy to exercise the next day.
  • Drink more water than you usually do to help compensate.
  • Exercise is the single best way to “take out the trash” in your body, and after staying up more hours than you should.

How to spot toxic self-esteem

Toxic self-esteem is easy to notice. One can see a disconnect between how the person sees himself, and how the world sees him.

It is your coworker who’s incompetent in their job but t...

Lasting high self-esteem

Self-esteem is how we think we are doing in our own worlds. It is made up of an internal valuation of ourselves. It cannot be an objective assessment, as we decide what our metrics are.

Prioritize your good self-esteem (for instance, how honest or compassionate you are) over the toxic ones (how nice your shoes are.)

Accept your low self-esteem

First, give yourself the headspace to work on a solution by accepting your feelings surrounding your low self-esteem. Your feelings are temporary. Accept them for the moment. Don't cover them up. Don't try to overcompensate for them.

Put your focus on the skills you need to acquire, not on how you feel.