Love in the Time of Individualism - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

deepstash

Beta

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

Love in the Time of Individualism

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/09/love-in-the-time-of-individualism/540474/

theatlantic.com

Love in the Time of Individualism
Two new books explore America's changing romantic landscape. C.S. Lewis's wife, Joy Davidman, died of bone cancer on July 13, 1960. The next day, the famous author wrote a letter to Peter Bide, the priest who had married them, to tell him the news.

6

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

Free And Lonely

Free And Lonely

Most Americans of this generation are now more free than the earlier generations. They are free and spoilt for choice to date, marry, divorce or have casual sexual encounters.

The price of this freedom, as it turns out, may be loneliness.

200 SAVES

490 READS


VIEW

Modern Dating Scene

Mark Regnerus provides some insights into the modern dating scene:

  • A casual relationship is now preferred to a committed one.
  • Sex is now a field for marketers to provide products and services.
  • It takes considerably less time, effort and risk for one to get sexual gratification through online dating or porn.

186 SAVES

462 READS


Marriage is now an Option

Youngsters are now wary of a life-long relationship and consider it as an option.

  • One-third of people who are in their twenties may never marry.
  • The increase of freedom to romance has changed the definition of romance.

163 SAVES

427 READS


Gender Roles

  • In the modern dating scene, men and women share different power equations than the early generations.
  • Basic demand and supply are the same as before, with men being the demand, and women the supply.
  • Women manage men's access to them, with men producing support, commitment, and loyalty.

176 SAVES

399 READS


Commitment

As observed in modern heterosexual relationships, the reasons to sacrifice and commit have largely faded for men.

The path to commitment in a relationship is now riddled with confusion and doubt.

164 SAVES

405 READS


App Love

In the dating apps on our smartphones, the rules are according to the app makers on how people can meet, connect or talk to each other.
  • Men like to connect with maximum women, as they aren't choosy as a group.
  • Women always have to be more careful and screen a lot of messages and requests.

145 SAVES

453 READS


SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Humor In A relationship

A sense of humor is desirable in a relationship, as people, especially men seem more desirable if they are funny.

The humor effect is not universally the same, with short-term relationships g...

Humor During Stress

Generally, humor is a great ice-breaker and social lubricant, but if there are stressful situations in a relationship, humor actually increases the chances of a break-up or divorce.

Laughing With Your Partner

An intimate relationship requires opening up with your partner and being vulnerable, something that may feel uncomfortable to some people. Relationship satisfaction is affected if:

  • Couples like to laugh at others.
  • Partners like if someone laughs at one of them, or if the other partner makes fun of them.
  • Partners dislike if the other makes fun of them.

one more idea

Because we idealize love, we overestimate it

We see it as a cure for all of life’s problems. And when we believe that all we need is love, we’re more likely to ignore fundamental values such as respect and commitment towards the people w...

Idealizing love=unrealistic expectations

....about what love actually is and what it can do for us. These unrealistic expectations then sabotage the very relationships we hold dear in the first place.  - Mark Manson

Love doesn't equal compatibility

Falling in love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a good partner for you. Love is an emotional process; compatibility is a logical process. And the two don’t bleed into one another very well. 

Self-understanding

To make a marriage work, you have to be the right person.

Rather than looking for the right partner, become aware of your blind spots, growing edges and vulnerabilities. Take r...

You can’t avoid marital conflict

Blaming, oversimplifying, and seeing oneself as a victim are all common traits of unhappy couples and failed marriages.

Conflicts should be approached by looking together at the problem.

A good marriage takes skill

Most of us don’t have adequate communication skills going into marriage. It is important to build this skill.