Want to build someone’s confidence? Ask for their advice
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Self-Efficacy
This is a person's confidence in their own abilities that they are able to control their own behaviors, motivation, and other social circumstances.
Many people struggle with handling insecurity and even goal strivers are plagued by it. Having a lack of self-efficacy denies us the pleasure of setting goals in the first place.
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Giving advice vs. Asking for advice
Too often we believe that whenever a person is having a hard time pushing through an obstacle we provide unsolicited advice. By doing so, we unconsciously make them feel that they are incapable or unreliable.
However, a study suggests that instead of offering unsolicited advice, we should instead encourage them to share their own wisdom to convey that they're intelligent, capable, and the kind of person who can succeed.
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The Saying-Is-Believing Effect
When someone comes to us for guidance and asks about what we should do in a certain situation, we give them honest advice and oftentimes, multiple choices to choose from. After we give out advice, we would then start feeling hypocritical we don't try it ourselves.
That is the Saying-Is-Believing Effect, wherein after we say something to someone else, we're more likely to believe it ourselves.
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What To Do When No One Asks For Your Advice
- Form an advice club - this is where a group of people help each other out by consulting with each other regularly for help. This not only helps forge friendships but also reap invaluable benefits.
- Turn the advice-giving inside out when you're facing a situation. Ask yourself: What if my friend was struggling with the same situation I'm in, what advice would I give them? Taking this perspective can help us approach the same problem with a higher level of self-confidence and insight.
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IDEAS CURATED BY
Emma 's ideas are part of this journey:
Learn more about communication with this collection
Cultivating self-awareness and self-reflection
Prioritizing and setting boundaries for self-care
Practicing mindfulness and presence
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