The Secret to a Happy Relationship Is Empathy

A long term relationship has to be based on more than shared likes and mutual dislikes.

You and your partner may agree 99% of the time, but it's that 1% that can spell disaster if there's no empathy between you.

You develop empathy within a relationship by regularly listening to each other's thoughts and feelings.

Seeing the world from your partner's point of view helps to build closeness as well as respect for your partner's individuality.

On separate pieces of paper, write your answers to the following questions. Don't help each other or share your responses until the end.

1. What makes your partner happy? How do they act when happy? Are there words or gestures they use to indicate their mood?
2. What makes your partner angry? How do they show their anger - or how can you tell that they're mad even if they don't show it?
3. Describe your partner's favorite foods, music, books, movies, podcasts/radio programs, and TV shows.

1. What activities does your partner enjoy? Are they good at what they do? Do they need to excel, or are they content just doing it?
2. What does your partner like about you? What do you think they find irritating?
3. What do you think you could say or do to enhance your partner's life?

After you've written your answers down, take some time to share your responses. See how close you were to getting it right.

What you need to create empathy is to listen - REALLY LISTEN - to your partner when they speak.

Listening doesn't mean waiting for your turn to talk. It means :

• asking questions if you're unclear about something they have said,
• repeating what they've told you in your own words to make sure you understand them, and
• validating their emotions.

Even if you don't agree with their opinions or feel the same way, you can acknowledge that your partner has a right to their feelings.

The secret to a successful relationship, whether you're the couple that agrees 99 percent of the time or the couple with seemingly nothing in common, is EMPATHY. Now you have the skills to brew some up in your relationship.