When you are pressed for time, how can you quickly tell the difference between strong and weak arguments? Some weak arguments are more obvious, but others can be disguised behind seemingly sound statements. The progression from one point to another seems logical, but it breaks down at some point before giving sufficient support for the conclusion.

Spotting weak arguments

A weak argument needs two ingredients. <ul><li>Inductive reasoning: The argument should move from specific observations to broad generalizations.</li><li>Uncertain premise: The specific observations used to build the argument should either have a low probability or be based on personal opinions.</li></ul>Even if the argument sounds logical, the conclusion is not certain nor with high probability. For example, Charlie is a woman. Some women like poetry. Therefore, Charlie likes poetry.

The nature of a weak argument

Three critical thinking tools can help you quickly spot a weak argument.<ol><li>Look for words such as surely, obviously, evidently, etc. These words mark the edge of what the author is sure about.</li><li>Compare the conclusion of the argument to a coin toss. The argument is weak if a coin toss is better at predicting the conclusion. For example, “About 50% of humans I met are female. Charlie is human. Therefore, Charlie is female.” </li><li>Map the argument onto the seven-point pyramid of disagreement. The weakest type of argument is name-calling, followed by Ad Hominem.</li></ol>

How to quickly spot weak arguments

When you are pressed for time, how can you quickly tell the difference between a strong argument and a weak argument, and why does it matter?

philosophy

Philosophy

communication

Communication

Weak arguments and how to spot them

<ul><li>Personalization means that you’ve thought about who this person is, how they see the world, what interests them, and what they want — you’ve developed a <a href="http://www.iep.utm.edu/theomind/">“theory of mind”</a> about the recipient. This shows them you have put work into understanding them.</li><li>You also make it clear why you are emailing them as opposed to anyone else. Research shows that <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=buy.optionToBuy&uid=1994-33384-001">people are far more motivated to help others when they feel uniquely qualified to do so</a>. </li></ul>

Tailor the message to the recipient

Knowing someone in common is the strongest form of social proof you can offer. If you have any direct connections, mention them. A mutual friend means you are no longer a stranger.Lacking that, if you have any authority, credibility, or social status that is relevant to this person and your request, mention it quickly — a line or two should do it. The more “important” you are, the more likely you are to get a response.

Validate yourself

Remember that people will go much further to <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/09/your-money/overcoming-an-aversion-to-loss.html?_r=0&pagewanted=all">avoid pain than to acquire pleasure</a>. If you’ve done your research and found a major pain point for the recipient, and you can offer relief, highlight that.If you can’t solve a problem, give people something they want. Offer to connect them with someone they’d like to meet — that stands out, since almost no one gives before they ask. But your gift needs to feel appropriate, from one stranger to another.

Alleviate your audience’s pain or give them something they want.

S<a href="http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1709943">hort emails are more likely to be read</a> than long ones. And emails that request clear, specific action <a href="https://www.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs.cmu.edu/Web/People/kiesler/publications/2005pdfs/2005-Dabbish-CHI.pdf">get a much higher response rate</a>. Long-winded, rambling cold emails suck.One of the best ways to keep things short and direct is to <a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/talk.html">write the way you’d talk</a>. I would recommend reading your email out loud before you send it.

Keep it short, easy, and actionable.

By expressing gratitude and some vulnerability, you give them the feeling that they are a good person if they choose to help. You also give them a little rush of power and status, because you’re approaching them.

Be appreciative — and a little vulnerable

An effective cold email does five things.

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Marketing & Sales

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Reading & Writing

A Guide to Cold Emailing

A new <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2022.2053877?journalCode=rpos20">study</a> published in the Journal of Positive Psychology explores how feeling and showing gratitude can make people feel less used and objectified.

Introduction

“Objectification causes severe consequences, ranging from interpersonal indifference, reduced empathy and helping, aggression and bullying l, to even killing and genocide, therefore, it is important to find interventions to alleviate objectification.”

According to Wang, objectification refers to treating others as mere things or tools that can help in one’s goal achievement while denying others’ autonomy, needs, and feelings.

Researchers opinion

“Employees can be treated as mere instruments to aid the financial success of their employers, students can be treated by their classmates as note-takers, and women can be perceived and treated solely as an object of sexual desire without regard for their personality or dignity”

Combining classical definitions of objectification, Wang suggests that objectification is marked by seven key features:1. Instrumentality : When someone treats a target as a tool for his or her own purpose2. Fungibility : When someone treats a target as interchangeable with other objects3. Violability : When someone treats a target as lacking in boundary integrity

Seven Key Features - Part 1

4. Ownership: When someone treats a target as though the target can be owned5. Denial of autonomy: When someone treats a target as lacking in autonomy or self-determination6. Inertness: When someone treats a target as lacking in agency or activity7. Denial of subjectivity: When someone treats a target as someone whose experiences and feelings need not be taken into account

Seven Key Features - Part 2

Over a series of three studies that included writing gratitude letters and imagining the effects of gratitude in an environment prone to behaviors of objectification, Wang’s research concluded that gratitude, both as a feeling and as a gesture, lowered the levels of objectification in a given environment.

Research

“The effect of gratitude on weakening objectification can be due to its ability to reduce people's focus on their own needs. That is, when people become less concerned with their own wants and desires, they are less likely to see others as instruments to fulfill those needs and are less likely to fail to consider others’ personhood.”

For people who wish to cultivate gratitude in their daily lives, Wang proposes three simple tips: <ul><li>Reflection : Spend a few minutes every day thinking about the wonderful things in life (such as a movie, books, a TV show we enjoy, or even being able to bask in the sunshine). </li><li>Exposing ourselves to nature : Spend time in nature by traveling to a place where you can enjoy a magnificent environment. </li><li>Showing Appreciation : Writing a thank you note or verbally appreciating or thanking someone. </li> </ul>

Three tips

“Expressing gratitude doesn’t need to cost you anything financially. So just do it.”

Wang, Xijing (Interview). <a href="https://therapytips.org/interviews/how-gratitude-helps-us-feel-whole">How gratitude helps us feel whole.</a> Therapytips.org, April 28th, 2022

References

New research from Dr Xijing Wang from City University of Hong Kong

Expressing gratitude may be the most effective way to combat objectification.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

health

Health

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

7 Aspects of Feeling Objectified and How to Overcome Them

“You could leave life right now,”

<ol><li>If I were on my deathbed, would I have regrets?</li><li>Was I a decent person today?</li><li>Did I challenge myself today?</li><li>Did I have any fun today?</li><li>What am I grateful for today?</li></ol>

The Questions I Ask Myself Nightly:

Asking myself these things helps me live a more fulfilling life—the kind of life that I want to live. And I’m proud of what I’m doing here, right now. I think—at least I hope—my dad would be too.

Reason Of It?

it's about your choices after your loved ones...

Since my father died nine years ago, I've reflected a lot on my mortality, and I've asked myself these questions every night since.

entertainment

Entertainment

5 Questions I Ask Myself Nightly Since My Father’s Sudden Death - Tiny Buddha

Self-esteem is critical to happiness and success. According to experts, self-esteem is a judgment we make about ourselves, our abilities, and our worthiness. Low self-esteem can lead to anxiety, depression, and a host of other mental health issues. So how can you boost your self-esteem? Here are three ways.

3 Powerful Ways To Improve Your Self-Esteem

Self-reflection is a powerful tool that can help you learn more about yourself and your motivations. It can also help you become a better leader and make better decisions. When you take the time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings, you can gain a deeper understanding of what makes you tick. This can be helpful when it comes to setting goals and making choices that are in line with your values.

1. The Power of Self Reflection

Affirmations are positive statements that you say to yourself to increase your self-confidence and change your negative thinking patterns. They can help you to achieve your goals and dreams by programming your subconscious mind to believe in yourself. Affirmations work best when you are specific, positive, and believable.﻿

2. The Power of Affirmations

The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.

Gratitude has the power to change your life. It’s the simple act of being thankful for the good in your life, no matter how big or small. When you focus on the good, you open yourself up to more good things coming your way.Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions that we can experience. It can completely change our mood and outlook on life in an instant. When we are grateful, we are happier, more positive, and feel more connected to others.

3. The Power of Gratitude

Self-esteem is critical to happiness and success. According to experts, self-esteem is a judgment we make about ourselves, our abilities, and our worthiness. Low self-esteem can lead to anxiety, depression, and a host of other mental health issues. So how can you boost your self-esteem? Here are three ways. 1. The Power of Self Reflection…

Are there differences between men and women in terms of beauty-enhancing behaviors? According to new research published in Environmental Research and Public Health, there is an overlooked side to masculinity; women invest more time on cosmetic usage, whilst men spend more time exercising and bodybuilding.

Summary of article

“There is this widespread belief that men have to wait for (eternity) hours until their female partners (finally) get ready. Usually, there is a kernel of truth in such shared worldviews because they often derive from actual world observations. But does such common knowledge perfectly reflect reality? As a woman myself, I always wondered if most women do indeed spend so much time on their attractiveness,”

“Or maybe it is just the distorted image created by all the ads, Hollywood movies, and TV series? After all, many studies provide evidence that being perceived as physically attractive by others (and oneself) is beneficial in multiple ways, both for women and men. So do modern men ‘don’t even try’ to enhance their beauty because it is ‘only a female’ thing to do? Luckily, in moments of doubt, science comes in.”

Women are more likely to use make-up and personal care products to improve their appearances. This does not, however, preclude men from engaging in other behaviours that may improve their appearance, such as muscle building. The increased media focus on male physique in recent decades coincides with evolutionary theories that emphasise the role of male upper body strength in intra- and inter-sexual competition. Women, for example, have more positive attitudes toward muscle, which may explain why men are more interested in their muscularity.

Stereotypes

Kowal and her colleague Piotr Sorokowski investigated how men and women attend to their appearances, as well as how much time each sex devotes to improving their appearances, in two studies. The first study recruited 121 people aged 18 to 49 using qualitative research methods. Participants were asked two open-ended questions, specifically: what do people do to improve their physical attractiveness? How do you improve your appearance?

The researchers narrowed down the responses to the eight most common beauty-enhancing behaviours participants shared, which included:<ol><li>make-up use</li><li>cosmetic use</li><li>cardio</li><li>strength training</li><li>hair grooming</li><li>body cleaning</li><li>hands grooming</li><li>and mirror-checking to adjust one's image.</li></ol>

Common behaviours

Study 2 enlisted 62 participants ranging in age from 20 to 67 and asked them to keep an online diary of their beauty-enhancing habits for one week. Thirty-three people responded to each of the outlined questions on all seven days, with the average number of daily diary entries being 3.76. On the first day, demographic information (age, gender, and education) was provided.

Second Study

Participants also completed the NPI-13 and indicated their self-perceived physical attractiveness (e.g., how attractive would you rate yourself?) and daily intensity of improving their appearances. The appearance-improving scale included eight questions that assessed the eight different types of beauty-enhancing behaviours identified in Study 1. Participants specifically indicated the number of minutes (ranging from 1 min to 6 hrs) they spent on each activity per day. Over the next six days, self-perceived physical attractiveness and daily intensity of improving appearances were also assessed.

Narcissistic Personality Inventory-13

“First of all, our study highlights that ways to achieve a good look vary between both sexes. While in general women focus on stereotypically female activities that increase their appeal, such as putting on makeup, men may be more interested in more masculine activities, such as bodybuilding or even caring for their hair,”

“Secondly, when we narrow the definition of beauty-enhancing behaviors only to those stereotypically perceived as female, unsurprisingly, women appear to spend more time improving their looks. However, when we broaden the definition to include various activities – including those stereotypically connected with masculinity, like cardio or physical exercise – the sex difference might decrease or even disappear!”

The researcher added, “Modern masculinity is evolving. It becomes culturally more and more acceptable for men to admit they want to look physically attractive and attend to their attractiveness.” With regard to study limitations, she noted, “Although our study is innovative, as it utilizes a diary design (i.e., participants filled the diary each day for seven days, reporting all the activities they performed on the given day that were aimed to increase their attractiveness), the sample size warrants caution when drawing any general conclusions."

"Future studies should investigate this matter on larger and more diverse samples. To address the limitations of this study, my team and I conducted large cross-cultural research on physical-enhancing behaviors. We recruited 107,715 participants from 175 countries, so please, stay tuned for the results of this research!”

“We observed that individuals who perceive themselves as more (vs. less) attractive spend more time improving their looks. As our study is correlational in nature, future research could investigate what a cause is (and what is a consequence). For example, is it that the belief of one’s attractiveness stems from intensified self-care, or instead being beautiful leads to increased efforts to preserve one’s beautifulness? Or perhaps, they are so interrelated that it is like this conundrum: ‘Which came first: the chicken or the egg?’.”

The research, “<a href="https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19073842">Sex Differences in Physical Attractiveness Investments: Overlooked Side of Masculinity</a>”, was authored by Marta Kowal and Piotr Sorokowski.

Link to access the research

New research showing that beauty investments do not differ between men and women

Are there differences between men and women in terms of beauty-enhancing behaviors? According to research published in Environmental Research and Public Health, there is an overlooked side to masculinity; while women invest more time on cosmetic usage, men spend more time exercising and bodybuilding. ...

A new psychology study reveals no sex differences in beauty investments

The less you say, the more intimidating and powerful you are. Always say less than necessary. When you do speak, make it vague and ambiguous, leaving the meaning to others to interpret. They’ll be frustrated and obsessed with trying to figure you out.

Why Saying Less Is Key To Power

<ul><li>Because they dislike uncertainty, people want to know what you’re thinking. </li><li>When you control your words, they can’t figure out what you mean or intend.</li></ul>

When you’re silent, you make other people uncomfortable.

<ul><li>They quickly try to fill the silence, and in the process reveal motivations and weaknesses — information you can use.</li><li> Later they’ll obsess over every word you said and its potential implications. The inordinate attention they give to your brief comments adds to your power.</li></ul>

Short answers and silence make people feel defensive

Saying less will make you mysterious. People will struggle to find what did you mean.

The less you say, the more important and profound it seems

<ul><li>When we say more, there's a greater chance to say something foolish. </li><li>For instance, in the early 1800s, a Russian rebel named Ryleyev talked too much and paid for it with his life. Nicholas I had sentenced him to death, but at the moment he was being hanged the rope broke. Believing he’d be pardoned, as usually happened in such cases, he yelled to the crowd that Russia couldn’t get anything right, even rope. Instead of pardoning him, Nicholas responded, “Let’s prove the contrary,” and Ryleyev was hanged the next day with a rope that held. </li></ul>

Saying little avoids the risk of saying something foolish, which

<ul><li>It can make people suspicious</li><li>Sometimes it’s smarter to play the court jester, and make yourself seem foolish and harmless despite being smarter than the king.</li><li>If you want to distract anyone, talking foolish may be used as an <a href="https://dsta.sh/AcGHGPStH2iNHirGA">Smokescreen </a></li></ul>

Things To Remember When Saying Less

The less you say, the more intimidating and powerful you are. Always say less than necessary. When you do speak, make it vague and ambiguous, leaving the meaning to others to interpret. They’ll be frustrated and obsessed with trying to figure you out. 

In The 48 Laws of Power, Law 4 is "Always Say Less Than Necessary." Learn what Law 4 means and how to use it to gain power.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Always Say Less Than Necessary (48 Laws of Power)

One of the most common problems people struggle with is conversational skills.Technology rewires our brains to think in terms of memes, posts, and videos, so we’re losing out on real-world talk!When you struggle with conversational skills, you feel anxious, creating a downward spiral in which you miss out on the meaningful connection you know you need.Here are 3 antidotes you can use now to make your conversations EXCITING.

3 Conversational Tricks to Excite Anyone

This trick is so simple that you won’t believe it until you try it.When someone finishes saying something, repeat the last 3–5 words they said in the exact same way. I’ve done this for minutes on end, it’s actually hilarious.Here’s what happens: someone will finish saying something like, “yeah so I really want to travel to Europe.”Then you repeat: travel to Europe?And INSTANTLY the person will go, “yeah I wanna [explain reasons here].” You can keep doing this until you find something to add onto.

Number one: “The Mirror”

Now that you’ve got the person opening up, you should be feeling a bit more confident.At this point, you probably are thinking of some questions to ask them. Problem? Endless questions are SO 1900’s.Instead of saying, “what do you do for work?” Say: “I think you’re a doctor.”The recipient will go: “What?!? Why’s that.” Or, your guess will be right, and you’ll blow everyone’s minds!Then you answer by giving a legitimate reason to back up your statement. For example, “you speak in a very formal & articulate manner which reminds me of my doctor.”

Number two: “Bold Statements.”

This trick opens up an exciting discussion where you both are operating on a deeper level instead of boring, surface-level “What do you do” type questions.Note: the statement should be at least slightly accurate, and not come off as “judgy.” It should be more fun, and always be a compliment…

#2 Number two: “Bold Statements.”

Put on a smile because you’re about to spread some good energy. Everyone LOVES praise, so why not give it out, especially when it’s well-deserved?If someone is cute- tell them. If someone is hilarious- confess it. You’re hurting no one.As I hinted at you can combine the previous trick with this one. Example:“Wow, you’re really smart. You must be a doctor or something!” (say with a smile)The person will blush from happiness, and your guess will either be right and they’ll go “OMG you’re awesome” OR they’ll go, “thank you, I’m actually a [job].”

Number three: “Share the Love”

Then you can use the first tip and go, “oh you’re a [job]” and they’ll start elaborating about the deeper reasons they chose that profession. 📷(:Now, get out there! This works with everyone- coworkers, family, friends, elevator talks. Go try it! Share your thoughts in the comments — And follow for more articles like this one. :)

#2 Number three: “Share the Love”

There are few pleasures in life better than a great conversation.

Technology rewires our brains to think in terms of memes, posts, and videos, so we’re losing out on real-world talk! When you struggle with conversational skills, you feel anxious, creating a…

3 Conversational Tricks to EXCITE Anyone

As babies, we could get people to do things for us without needing to say anything.  Adults would correctly surmise that we crave some milk or that the sun is shining in our eyes, or that we're ready for a snooze.  While this is highly gratifying and important in infancy, it can be dangerous if we keep these expectations for the rest of our lives. It can breed the idea that anyone who claims to know us should be able to determine our deepest aspirations and wishes without us needing to say much.

Assuming others know what we mean or want

We may assume that others must know what we want without telling them. We presume our lover must understand what we're upset about, that our colleagues must intuitively know what we want to be done.   Then we assume that if they don't, it must be a sign that they deliberately refuse or that they're wicked. So we justify our sulk, where we punish people for having committed offences while refusing to reveal the offences to them.

Destructive thoughts

Teaching is a skill we should put into practice daily. The subject we must patiently become experts and give lessons in is called "ourselves": what we like, what we fear, what we're hopeful about, what we want from the world. It is understandable when we should fail in our teaching duties because we never had to bother with all that in the early years.

The fundamental importance of teaching

There is a widespread tendency to assume that others must know what we mean and want without us having actually told them clearly. We assume that if they don’t, then it must be a sign that they are being wicked or deliberately obtuse. The truth is we have forgotten the fundamental importance of teaching. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/3HpVdSa For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3xWeb0F Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/37S5QAm Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3ETcJO1 “One of the finest things about being a baby is that our minds can be read by others. Without us needing to say anything, people around us will have a guess at determining what we intend — and, typically, they’ll get it right. They’ll correctly surmise that we are craving some milk or that the sun is shining in our eyes, that it’s time for a snooze or that we want to jiggle the keys again…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Deanca Rensyta Mihardja https://www.deancarensyta.com/about Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/

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Videos

There is a widespread tendency to assume that others must know what we mean and want without us having actually told them clearly.  We assume that if they don’t, then it must be a sign that they are being wicked or deliberately obtuse.  The truth is we have forgotten the fundamental importance of teaching.
Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/3HpVdSa
For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3xWeb0F
Our website has therapy, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/37S5QAm

FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: 
https://bit.ly/3ETcJO1

“One of the finest things about being a baby is that our minds can be read by others. Without us needing to say anything, people around us will have a guess at determining what we intend — and, typically, they’ll get it right. They’ll correctly surmise that we are craving some milk or that the sun is shining in our eyes, that it’s time for a snooze or that we want to jiggle the keys again…”

MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: 
http://bit.ly/TSOLself


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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Deanca Rensyta Mihardja
https://www.deancarensyta.com/about
 
Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions
https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/

We're interested in self-understanding, calm and emotional maturity.

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The School of Life

Why You Should Explain What You Need

Research has found that workers are happier and satisfied with their work when they feel they can be themselves. Conversely, when people must hide their true identity at work, they may have lower job satisfaction and be more likely to leave their employer. While people need to be themselves at work, it's also wise to consider how much you share. People don't need to know everything about you. You can feel respected and appreciated without sharing your deepest secrets.

Being yourself without oversharing

Relationships are built over time. Research shows that a meaningful depth of relationships occurs after about 60 hours invested together. When your relationship is already strong, intimate details tend to strengthen it. But if you open up too soon, it can derail a relationship. Being picky about what to divulge is a good idea. Be patient and invest time during which you figure out what you share, with whom, as well as when and where.

Allow the relationship to unfold

When you’re deciding whether to share with others, think in concentric circles. Your close friends and family are in your inner circle and will know the most about you, but as you expand out from your centre, people may know less. When you build your relationship, try revealing a little, then followed by a bit more. Appreciate the diversity of relationships with a variety of people.

Consider the relationship type

At work, it's okay to have relationships with people who are not your best friends. Remove the pressure to develop intimacy at work. Consider how to build each connection. Consider whether your intended share is important to the success of the work relationship. For example, if the team is going out socially after the customer meeting, you may feel like letting them know you're committed to your yoga class. However, you don't need to divulge that you're rebuilding a relationship with one of your classmates.

Think about the task at hand

Give thought to the impact of your openness. Everything you share will leave an impression, even the throw-away statements you don't consider memorable in the moment. Consider if the information you share will strengthen or weaken someone's perception of you. Also, give thought to whether you want the information you share repeated to others. People may repeat what you said but not how you intended or out of context.

Consider the status of your career 

Some things should be left unsaid in a work setting. Steer clear from politics or gossip. Other off-topic issues could include money, relationship challenges, or health issues.

Consider what is "off imits"

It’s possible to share just enough about yourself in order to be authentic, without getting too deep.


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Career

How to successfully share personal details at work

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