Community requires ritual and narrative.The paradoxes of the information age make the mind swim. The more we are informed, the more we are disoriented. The more we connect, the more we are divided. The more new content there is to consume, the less we are ever satisfied. The faster the network speed, the shorter our attention span becomes.We need a philosopher to sort it all out. Fortunately, such a thinker for our times has arrived on the scene: Byung-Chul Han, author of such penetrating meditations on digital society as “The Burnout Society” and “The Disappearance of Rituals.”

Paradoxes

“Bits of information provide neither meaning nor orientation,” Han observes in an interview with Noema this week. “They do not congeal into a narrative. They are purely additive. From a certain point onwards, they no longer inform — they deform.” The way information now courses through society is also corrosive.  “Digital communication redirects the flows of communication. Information is spread without forming a public sphere,” the South Korea-born German philosopher says. “It is produced in private spaces and distributed to private spaces.

Corrosive Information

The web does not create a public.” On the contrary: “The informatization of reality leads to its atomization — separated spheres of what is thought to be true.” Instead of the basis for a common narrative, truth becomes a subjective projection of those isolated from each other.He goes on: “This has highly deleterious consequences for the democratic process. Social media intensify this kind of communication without community. You cannot forge a public sphere out of influencers and followers.”

Atomization

As Han sees it, this fragmentary character of peer-to-peer communication both coincides with and fuels the erosion of those pillars of cohesion that once held communities together. “The inwardly turned, narcissistic ego with purely subjective access to the world is not the cause of social disintegration but the result of a fateful process at the objective level. Everything that binds and connects is disappearing. There are hardly any shared values or symbols, no common narratives that unite people.”

Erosion

For Han, the traditional rituals that once provided a founding orientation for society were discarded by modernity as hackneyed customs of the outmoded past. The past cannot be revived, but, as Han says, “What we need most are temporal structures that stabilize life. When everything is short-term, life loses all stability. Stability comes over long stretches of time: faithfulness, bonds, integrity, commitment, promises, trust. These are the social practices that hold a community together. They all have a ritual character.

Stability

They all require a lot of time. Today’s terror of short-termism — which, with fatal consequences, we mistake for freedom — destroys the practices that require time. To combat this terror, we need a very different temporal politics.”Han looks to culture for the recovery of a sense of stability amid the onslaught of accelerated digital time. “Cultural events such as theater, dance and even football have a ritual character. The only way in which we can revitalize community is through ritual forms. Today, culture is held together solely by instrumental and economic relations.

Ritual forms

But that does not found communities — it isolates people. Art, in particular, should play a central role in the revitalization of rituals.”Also writing in Noema, Tim Gorichanaz scores the dichotomous binary thinking encoded in digital communication as displacing our cultural capacity for contextual narrative, reflection and empathy when processing information. We are so lacking in these attributes nowadays, he notes, that we tear down potential heroes who would weave moral fiber into society through emulation before we can even stand them up.

Tim Gorichanaz 

While the philosopher Han looks to art to recover a culture of cohesion, Gorichanaz sees some promise in what he calls “slow technology.” “The digital revolution has shaken up our understanding of narrative, but there are new technologies that could help us recontextualize rather than decontextualize,” he writes. “Are.na, for example, is an online platform for bookmarking items you find online and making connections across them. It describes itself as ‘Tumblr meets Wikipedia.’ Users construct ‘channels’ by adding things they find — links, text, video — allowing narratives to emerge.

“Slow Technology” 

Roam Research is a similar platform, a notetaking app that allows complex interlinking between pieces of content, creating dynamic networks and hierarchies of information.”He concludes: “Societally, we need such technologies for the public, perhaps built into the social media platforms that have become the de-facto online living rooms for so many of us. We need context for the torrent of information sent our way.”

The Need of Context

Ritual. Narrative. Context. Temporal stability. In short, everything missing from the connected isolation of digital disconnectivity is the antidote to its corrosion of community. The recovery of culture from the grip of subjectivism and its dispersion into disparate bits of information is the daunting challenge of art — and technology — in the next turn of the digital age.Nathan Gardels is the editor-in-chief of Noema Magazine.

The Antidote

Digital communication in its current form is corrosive to culture and community. But ritual and narrative can repair the damage.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

The Antidote To Digital Disconnectivity | NOEMA

Dislike, anger, contempt, disgust and hate are all negative emotions, but they represent different states:<ul><li>Dislike — you prefer not to be near someone (e.g. someone that makes jokes in poor taste)</li><li>Anger — you want to change someone's bad behavior (e.g. someone smoking in a non-smoking area)</li><li>Contempt — you look down on someone (e.g. a manager who treats their team poorly)</li><li>Disgust — you consider someone immoral or undesirable (e.g. someone bullying weak people)</li><li>Hate — you view someone as the opposite of your core moral beliefs (e.g. beliefs regarding abortion)</li></ul>

Negative emotions

Negative emotions have evolved to help us coordinate our physiological, cognitive and behavioral systems for dealing with threats. Thus, each emotion has a goal:<ul><li>Dislike — to guide our general preferences</li><li>Anger — to change someone's behavior in the short-term</li><li>Contempt — to derogate and exclude someone</li><li>Disgust — to avoid someone</li><li>Hate — to eliminate someone from our life</li></ul>

Goals of negative emotions

Hate is the strongest negative emotion. It's intense and enduring, and it's based on the fact that others are threatening our view of a good life or society. It makes us want to eliminate others, rather than just distance ourselves from them.Compared to the other emotions, hate is:<ul><li>Most distinct from anger and dislike</li><li>Somewhat less distinct from contempt</li><li>Least distinct from disgust</li></ul>The plot is meant to show the relationship between the negative emotions, and is based on my understanding of the findings in the research paper.

Hate

This post about hate (https://dsta.sh/cipiKWBBYr3BX8kW9) made me curious about the nuances of disliking someone. So I went through the original article and research paper, and got 3 cool ideas. These should help you better label your emotions as well

How does hating someone compare with anger, contempt or disgust? A clearer picture of what makes it unique is emerging

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Hate and Negative Emotions

The metaverse, in the most simplest terms is a virtual universe where there are no limits. Metaverse will be a 4-D version of the present internet. It can be thought of as being inside the internet and visualising and experiencing everything the world wide web. It can be thought of as a network of worlds with different things to offer.Virtual reality allows the Metaverse to be whatever we want it to be, with the only limits being our imagination.

What is the Metaverse?

The metaverse will be so much more than video games – digital identifications, remote work, buying and selling property – whatever you can imagine, the metaverse will have it.It is going to be the next milestone of the internet, being a converging point of the physical, augmented and virtual reality in one shared space, online.

The idea of a technological world where anything can be possible was first introduced in the 1992 science fiction novel , “Snow Crash” by Neil Stephenson which described a virtual reality and the term ‘metaverse’ was first coined.

How did Metaverse come around?

The 2011 book, “Ready Player One” further promoted the idea of a virtual world where you can be anyone, do anything and go anywhere irrespective of who you are in the real world.The movie based on the book starring Tye Sheridan and Olivia Cooke in the lead roles popularized the concept of virtual reality and introduced it as the ‘OASIS’, and gave every young mind watching it a sneak peek into what the metaverse could be like in the future.

“People come to the OASIS for all the things they can do, but they stay for all the things they can be.”

Virtual reality will have (and even has) gadgets lined up for the best experience of the metaverse, where the creators will provide the most optimum experience of the virtual world. <ul><li>Today, head mounted display and hand controllers which influence sight, hearing and a limited amount of touch are a basic to VR.</li><li>From books and movies an idea which sits into our mind is that bodysuits and omnidirectional treadmills will become a VR necessity in the future allowing the body to move about in a virtual space just like one does in the real world.</li></ul>

How can we experience the metaverse?

<ul><li>Advanced forms of VR will most probably make use of neurohaptics and neurotech, which uses signals from the brain to replicate a virtual environment and perform certain actions without any user interface.</li></ul>

The metaverse carries the potential to be one of the biggest and impactful technological development of the future. This virtual reality will allow infinite simulations to create anything we want, be anyone, do anything – whatever the mind desires, it can create.It doesn’t matter what you want, you can do it in this virtual space – buying virtual and real world objects (not to mention buying real world objects in the virtual world) to learning any skill you want, doing real world jobs in your virtual world desk/office and earning metaverse cryptocurrency and even using it in the real world.

Why the metaverse matters

Not only is the metaverse going to be a huge life changer for individuals, businesses and industries will also have mega changes thanks to the metaverse.Companies will be creating products and services based on the consumers in the metaverse and will have entire teams and divisions just for buying/selling and building products in the virtual reality or for the real world to aid the virtual reality.Some specialists even go so far as saying that the metaverse might be more transformative to the industries than the internet and could be the biggest market opportunity of the next few decades.

Metaverse For Companies 

Students of the future will have virtual reality schools and universities and even jobs all dedicated to the metaverse. Kids as young as 14-15 years of age will be building the world and creating new and better faces of the virtual reality.

Metaverse For Next-gen Students 

The metaverse is also very likely to have a big impact on the economy and even the governments of countries across the globe.According to some sources, the metaverse could most probably add close to $3 trillion to the global GDP (with consistent evolution) within a decade.

Metaverse And The Economy 

Virtual reality will also completely change the politics game. As it can be already seen with politicians all around the world promoting their campaigns and reaching out to their people through social networking and some even highlighting important issues and making positive change through it.With the metaverse, this could go one step further. From buying digital merch to show support to candidates to vKirtual embassies and even virtual ministries, the metaverse is sure to bring change and keep many people on their toes when it comes to being efficient and flawless.

Metaverse And Politics 

No. We really can’t expect the metaverse to be a flawless piece of human innovation which will immediately lead us to a perfect world with greatness and happiness.As it has been made clear with all other forms of technology, everything has potential to be good and bad. The sci-fi depiction in Ready Player One does point out that as the virtual world keeps getting bigger and better, the real world also crumbles in some ways.

Is the metaverse really all that good?

The rise of metaverse and virtual reality brings out some concerns which do need to be discussed and thought of, the biggest question being – will we lose touch with reality?As it is very obvious with smartphones – a major part of the population being addicted to screens and losing touch with their friends and family, the idea of having a perfect virtual world at everyone’s fingertips definitely raises some concerns when it comes to managing real world relationships and building healthy lives for the consumers.

The second most asked question, also one to be very concerning is – who will ‘own’ the metaverse and how does that change the lives of the people – in the real world and the virtual world? Let’s accept it, the fight for power is something that has been with us since the beginning of time and the metaverse will not be any different. So how will we know who actually controls the metaverse? Who will be the law makers and protectors? How will our real world identities change with the virtual world? All questions that require answers.

 With the ever consistent change in the world including, and especially technology, its time to set our eyes on the Metaverse and take a closer look at what the future has in store for us. 

sciencefiction

Science Fiction

technologyandthefuture

Technology & The Future

On The Metaverse (Part 1)

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” —

The first important lesson gained from failure is experience. What happens when we fail? When we go through something and can walk away with firsthand experience, it helps us to develop a deeper understanding for life. The experience of failing at something is truly invaluable. It completely alters our frame-of-mind through the induction of pain. It makes us reflect on the real nature of things and their importance in our lives, transforming and improving our future-selves.

Failure Lesson #1: Experience

Failure brings with it important firsthand knowledge. That knowledge can be harnessed in the future to overcome that very failure that inflicted so much pain in the first place. Nothing can replace the knowledge gained from failure.

Lesson #2: Knowledge

Failing in life helps to build resilience. The more we fail, the more resilient we become.In order to achieve great success, we must know resilience. Because, if we think that we’re going to succeed on the first try, or even the first few tries, then we’re sure to set ourselves up for a far more painful failure.

Lesson #3: Resilience

Lesson #4: GrowthWhen we fail, we grow and mature as human beings. We reach deeper meanings and understandings about our lives and why we’re doing the things that we’re doing. This helps us to reflect and take things into perspective, developing meaning from painful situations.

Lesson #5: ValueOne of the biggest lessons that we can learn from life’s failures is the necessity to create and spread an exceedingly high amount of value. In fact, value lies at the heart of success and a lack of value is a fundamental pillar to failure.

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

cybersecurity

Cybersecurity

computerscience

Computer Science

Attention Required! | Cloudflare

Imagine John, an honest employee whose colleague is a bigot and a harasser of women. From their first interaction, John didn’t like the way his coworker made inappropriate jokes. He recently called John ‘too soft’ after John declined his proposal to steal from their company to make some ‘extra money’. While he might never openly admit to hating anyone, John privately thinks to himself: This guy represents the worst in our society; I hope something bad happens to him and he goes away; I hate him.

The Pleasure of Hate

What does it mean to say that someone like John hates his coworker, rather than just disliking or feeling contempt for him? People claim to ‘hate’ all sorts of things in their daily lives: drama, traffic jams, math, broccoli, Mondays. But if they are asked about other people, especially specific individuals and groups, feelings of hate are usually not disclosed so easily. Hate is a heavy subject. When trying to understand prejudice, terrorism or genocide, people cannot help but think of hate as one of the primary causes.

Hate is a Heavy Subject

Currently, there is no consensus among scholars about hate’s nature. Hate has been described widely as an emotion, but also as an attitude or a sentiment. Some scholars think that hate is an extreme version of anger or dislike; some describe hate as a blend of emotions such as anger, contempt and disgust; and others regard hate as a distinct and unique feeling. Theories also diverge in their descriptions of hate’s antecedents, triggers, functions and behavioural outcomes. Nevertheless, people confidently talk about hate speech, hate crime, or anti-hate campaigns.

An Emotion, an Attitude, a Sentiment?

What we do know is that hate is intense and enduring, and it seems to be based on a view of its targets as essentially bad and threatening. For example, when the Hutus slaughtered the Tutsis in the Rwanda genocide of 1994, the hate they experienced appears to have been based on the perception that the Tutsis were essentially evil and that they should be eliminated. The hate embodied by the Ku Klux Klan and other extremist groups often goes back decades or longer, transcending generations and sometimes lying dormant until finding a new trigger.

Intense and Enduring

We also know that people can hate close individuals such as family members, friends or romantic partners. Still, there is a lack of empirical research examining hate’s distinctive features, partly because studying hate is methodologically difficult and research ethics boards are not very happy about inducing feelings of hate in study participants. So I recently set out to investigate how the feeling of hate is different from dislike, anger, contempt and disgust, conducting a series of <a href="https://doi.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Femo0001056">studies</a> with Jan-Willem van Prooijen and Paul Van Lange at the Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam.

A Series of Studies

We asked participants in the US to anonymously describe their own experiences of feeling each of these negative emotions, either toward an individual or a group. They rated the emotional intensity and duration of each experience, how threatening they perceived the individual or group to be, and other dimensions of the experience. Under the condition of anonymity, most people openly described individuals and groups they hate – often with a cathartic level of detail – suggesting that experiencing hate is more frequent in people’s lives than we might imagine.

The Experience

Our key finding is that, across the different dimensions, hate seems most distinct from dislike and anger, somewhat less distinct from contempt, and least distinct from disgust. For instance, compared with dislike, anger or contempt (not disgust), participants rated their experiences of hate as more intense. And compared with dislike or anger toward specific individuals, they rated their experiences of hate as more enduring, perceived hated individuals as more threatening to society, and expressed a greater inclination to engage in behaviours such as confronting, harming or offending them.

Key Findings

People also perceived hated individuals as more threatening to them personally than individuals toward whom they felt other negative emotions. These findings suggest that hate is a distinct feeling, but also that it shares some features with the other emotions, especially with contempt and disgust. What explains these differences between hate and other negative emotions? The answer might lie partly in the reasons for which each emotion has evolved, and in the particular ways in which people see the targets of each emotion.

A Distinct Feeling

Negative emotions are thought to have evolved as goal-oriented mechanisms that help individuals to coordinate their physiological, cognitive and behavioural systems for dealing with different threats. Dislike is a broad negative affective state that guides people’s preferences. When people dislike someone, that does not mean they necessarily wish to harm that person. Rather, they simply prefer not to be near them.

Goal-Oriented Mechanisms

Although hate, too, is a negative affective state, it implies that one really wants the other person out of one’s life completely (as in the case of John, who wishes his coworker would disappear), and might be willing to take steps to make that happen.When we compare hate with anger, contempt and disgust, the differences are a bit more nuanced. People get angry when others misbehave, and the anger is aimed at changing the behaviour of the misbehaving person in the short-term.

Differences

For example, if somebody lights a cigarette in a non-smoking area, people around might get angry, and their overt expression of anger (via direct remarks or body language) could induce the smoker to put out the cigarette or leave. However, unlike anger, hate seems to be aimed not at the targets’ behaviours, per se, but at the targets themselves (ie, who they are or what they represent). Hate’s goal is therefore not to change the target’s behaviours but to get rid of the targets, based on the perception that they are essentially bad and unchangeable.

Hate's Goal

That is likely one reason why people tend to experience hate for significantly longer periods of time than anger, which often dissipates relatively quickly once the unwanted behaviours cease.Contempt and disgust are, like hate, focused on an individual’s or group’s disposition. Contempt consists of ‘looking down’ at others or viewing them as inferior, and its goal is to derogate and exclude them. Disgust is evoked when people appraise others as immoral or undesirable, and the goal of disgust is to avoid or distance oneself from them.

Group's Disposition

When people feel hate, however, the targets are not just perceived as inferior, immoral or undesirable, although they might be perceived as all of these. There is something else, something about them that motivates an especially strong reaction, to the point of wanting to eliminate them physically or symbolically (such as by eliminating a group’s symbols, in the case of intergroup hate), rather than only excluding or avoiding them.

A Stronger Reaction

So, what is it that people find so threatening about the targets of their hate? In a set of studies currently under review, we tested whether hate was triggered to a higher degree by threats to people’s resources and goals or by threats to their values and worldviews. We found that participants expressed significantly more hate toward individuals endorsing views that were opposite to their own on issues such as abortion, the legalisation of drugs, or same-sex marriage than toward individuals who blocked their goals and caused them to lose a reward.

The Hate's Targets

This could indicate that at least part of what people find particularly aversive about their hate targets is the perception that those individuals or groups endorse the opposite of what they believe is fair, noble and right, or their idea of what is a good life or a good society.These beliefs are part and parcel of people’s identities, which adds an extra, threatening ingredient. People can dislike aspects of a person, or get temporarily angry at their behaviours, but hate seems to be related to fundamental and non-negotiable disagreements in core moral beliefs.

Moral Beliefs

While these disagreements could be present to some degree when people feel emotions such as contempt and disgust (helping to explain their closeness to hate), when people feel hate, these moral differences might be taken as personal threats, based on the importance of people’s values and beliefs to their sense of who they are. This could fuel a heightened emotional experience and prepare individuals for attacking rather than avoiding their targets.Having a clear idea of what hate means and what its dynamics are is essential for identifying and responding to it.

Moral Differences

For instance, political ideologies that capitalise on identity threats, or on the supposedly evil character of certain groups, might be instilling much more than anger among followers – sowing the seeds for long-term aggression and fostering social division. Policymakers who are conscious of this might make stronger efforts to combat the spread of hate-triggering narratives and raise awareness among citizens.

Policymakers's Efforts

A clearer conceptualisation of hate might also, by extension, contribute to a better understanding of related concepts such as hate speech or hate crime, providing tools for legal actions or anti-hate initiatives. There is much more to learn about this strong negative emotion, but we are developing a better sense of what, in fact, it means to feel hate.------Cristhian A Martínezis a PhD candidate at the department of Experimental and Applied Psychology at Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam. His research focuses on understanding how people respond to transgressions insocial and political spheres.

Cristhian A Martínezis 

parenting

Parenting

What makes hate a unique emotion – and why that matters | Psyche Ideas

<ul><li>Workplace Incivility assaults people’s physical and psychological health.</li><li>Workplace rudeness generates lack of productivity, disengagement, absenteeism and turnover.</li><li>In contrast, “civility” makes people feel valued and appreciated.</li><li>To increase workplace civility, share “resources, recognition, gratitude, feedback” and “purpose.”</li><li>Focus on the basics, such as smiling and saying thank you.</li><li>Solicit feedback to identify your failings and target areas for improvement.</li><li>Develop a “sense of thriving” within yourself as a defense against workplace incivility.</li></ul>

Key Takeaways From The Book

How you treat people means everything – whether they will trust you, build relationships with you, follow you, support you and work hard for you, or not.Rudeness is on the rise. In the “Civility in America 2016” survey, 95% of respondents said “incivility” is a major problem in the United States. Workplace incivility takes many forms: making calls or texting during meetings, yelling at employees, belittling or heckling subordinates, taking credit for someone else’s work or ideas, and undermining other people’s efforts. Often, people are uncivil when they’re tired or stressed.

Civility Vs Incivility: Rudeness On The Rise

To make the greatest impact in your business and to get the most out of your career, choose the path of respectfulness over rudeness.Globalization brings people from different cultures into contact with one another. What is seen as acceptable in one culture may be perceived as rude in another. Remote work and other arrangements put pressure on office relationships. Increased workloads cause stress and make people feel overwhelmed, causing them to lash out. Some employees mimic their leaders’ and co-workers’ behavior.

Rudeness Vs Respectfulness

The typical reaction to incivility is stress, which can trigger health problems and can result in more instances of abrupt or rude behavior. Rudeness also extracts a psychological toll. When someone treats people meanly at work, they lose concentration and their performance suffers. They become less creative, have more difficulty making decisions, and have trouble processing or recalling information.

Incivility Carries Heavy Costs, But Civility Pays Big Dividends

People misread texts and emails, because the written notes lack the nuance of face-to-face and phone interactions.Often, people are uncivil when they’re tired or stressed. Generally, they’re not aware of how their actions affect others. Yet, unintentional rudeness is also destructive. When someone feels hurt, it doesn’t matter if the precipitating behavior wasn’t deliberate.

Unintentional Rudeness

People don’t easily recover from the negative effect of rudeness.Even low-intensity events or single incidents can diminish their focus and cognitive abilities.On the flip side, feeling genuinely appreciated lifts people up. It energizes. It’s also a powerful tool for encouraging the right behaviors.

People Are People: Emotional Torture Vs Emotional Rescue

Workplace relationship problems have significant costs for employers in the form of lost productivity, absenteeism and turnover. Dealing with incivility takes an average 13% of managers’ time as they work to mend relationships and deal with the aftermath of crass behavior. Rudeness causes recipients to be less likely to welcome feedback or initiate interactions. Their willingness to help others or share information drops significantly. Experiencing rudeness can trigger negative or aggressive thoughts, although victims may not understand the association.

Lost Productivity

Behaving politely toward others conveys respect and regard. It lifts people up. A smile, a cheerful greeting and a compliment make people feel valued and appreciated. When a leader treats employees in a respectful way, the leaders’ status increases along with the employees’ motivation. People work harder for warm, approachable bosses they respect and admire.You have more control than you think. Your attitude, mind-set and willfulness can make all the difference.

Civility Pays Off

Civility helps people succeed. People enjoy collaborating with someone who is cooperative and respectful. Seeking people’s input, listening to their ideas, thanking them for their efforts and sharing credit with them increases productivity. Team members feel safe in a civil environment, which frees them to take risks and offer suggestions. Civility spreads just as pervasively as incivility since people reciprocate behavior

A Catalyst In Success

How civil are you? Examine yourself about a range of behaviors, from positive, such as saying please and thank you, to negative, such as texting or using email during meetings, interrupting, blaming others, spreading rumors, ignoring invitations, making snide remarks, or failing to listen.

A Kinder, Gentler You: A Self Assessment

Use these seven strategies to lobby for feedback from others:<ol><li>Ask for focused feedback on your best and worst behaviors.</li><li>Work with a coach – A professional coach can observe your behavior in various work situations and provide objective analysis and suggestions.</li><li>Conduct a team tune-up: Use colleagues or friends as coaches.</li><li>Get 360° feedback.</li><li>Teach yourself how to read emotions of others.</li><li>Make time for reflection – Keep a journal to record your emotional states.</li><li>Take care of yourself - Avoid burnout.</li></ol>

Seven Strategies for Civility Feedback

Begin the journey to improved civility for yourself and your organization by focusing on the three basics. <ol><li>The first “civility fundamental” requires you to smile more. When you smile, you feel happier and more relaxed; you lift other people’s moods. </li><li>The second fundamental is to build authentic relationships with your staff members. Get to know them, encourage them to get to know one another, and acknowledge their work and efforts. </li><li>The third fundamental is to sharpen your listening skills. Get rid of distractions, focus your attention, make eye contact and ask questions. </li></ol>

The Three Fundamentals

Adopt a “giving mind-set” to promote a respectful work environment. When people share knowledge, resources and connections, civility becomes the norm. Five forms of giving are most effective in creating an affirming atmosphere:<ol><li> Share resources  – Collaborate with your co-workers to forge closer relationships.  </li><li> Share recognition  – Give credit to everyone who contributes.</li><li> Share gratitude  – Thank people for their efforts, and reward positive behaviors.</li><li> Share feedback  </li><li> Share purpose </li></ol>

Five Forms of Giving

<ul><li>Never send an email while angry, stressed or upset.</li><li> Never be overly informal or too verbose, don’t hit Reply All unnecessarily and don’t fail to respond to your email. </li><li>Fundamentals of email etiquette include using self-control, writing in a respectful tone and valuing your correspondents’ time. </li><li>Include a clear subject line. </li><li>Be concise; use proper grammar, punctuation and spelling; and copy only those who need a copy. </li><li>Don’t send an email when the conversation is better delivered face-to-face or on the phone. </li><li>Don’t include anything in an email that you wouldn’t say in person. </li></ul>

Email Etiquette

<ul><li>During interviews, pay attention to the way candidates behave. </li><li>Ask them to describe their past behavior and to give you examples. </li><li>Discuss how they handle anger and stress. </li><li>Observe how they speak about their former employers. </li><li>Follow up with employees who interacted with your potential hire, such as receptionists or parking lot attendants. </li><li>Research how candidates behaved in previous jobs.</li></ul>

Lift Your Organization

<ul><li>Every employee should know that civility matters. </li><li>Describe how they should treat one another. </li><li>Publish a basic code of conduct. </li><li>Emphasize civility repeatedly; notice when it occurs.</li></ul>

Codes and Coaches

If civil behavior matters to your organization, put systems in place to track it.Focus less on results and more on how people achieve them. Evaluate employees against metrics that highlight civility, such as collaboration, empowerment, respect and encouragement. Acknowledge and reward “all-star helpers” – employees who go above and beyond their job descriptions to help their colleagues.

Scoring and Practice

If you’re the victim of incivility in the workplace, you can’t control the other person’s behavior but you can manage your reaction. Take time to figure out a response plan calmly. If you decide to confront the offender, plan the conversation ahead of time. Focus on the issue rather than the individual. Listen closely to his or her response. Your goal is to agree on norms going forward. If you feel discussion is futile, follow the acronym BIFF(Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm) in future interactions.

Be Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm

Your best defense against incivility is to develop your own “sense of thriving.” The stronger you feel, the better you will handle adversity. Strengthen and reinforce your sense of thriving by finding purpose in your work and outside activities. Seek the support of a mentor, and build positive relationships in every area of your life.

The Bottom Line

Organizational practices for everyone to become more inclusive and enhance the performance of their teams.

teamwork

Teamwork

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

career

Career

Diverse And Inclusive Workplaces

Be Kind at the office. A guide to Civility.

From the leading authority on workplace incivility, Christine Porath, shows why it pays to be civil, and reveals just how to enhance effectiveness in the workplace and beyond by mastering civility. Incivility is silently chipping away at people, organizations, and our economy. Slights, insensitivities, and rude behaviors can cut deeply and hijack focus. Even if people want to perform well, they can't. Ultimately incivility cuts the bottom line. In MASTERING CIVILITY, Christine Porath shows how people can enhance their influence and effectiveness with civility. Combining scientific research with fascinating evidence from popular culture and fields such as neuroscience, medicine, and psychology, this book provides managers and employers with a much-needed wake-up call, while also reminding them of what they can do right now to improve the quality of their workplaces.

books

Books

"The most useful, well-written, and emotionally compelling business book I have read in years. I couldn't put it down." - Robert I. Sutton, Stanford Professor and author of The No Asshole Rule "A must-read for every leader in their field." - Daniel H. Pink, bestselling author of To Sell is Human Incivility is silently chipping away at people, organizations, and our economy. Slights, insensitivities, and rude behaviors can cut deeply. Moreover, incivility hijacks focus. Even if people want to perform well, they can't. Customers too are less likely to buy from a company with an employee who is perceived as rude. Ultimately, incivility cuts the bottom line. In MASTERING CIVILITY, Christine Porath shows how people can enhance their influence and effectiveness with civility. Combining scientific research with fascinating evidence from popular culture and fields such as neuroscience, medicine, and psychology, this book provides managers and employers with a much-needed wake-up call, while also reminding them of what they can do right now to improve the quality of their workplaces.

Christine Porath

Mastering Civility

Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace

When it comes to meeting new people, consider curiosity to be your secret weapon. Especially for those more formulaic, more introverted, or more methodical in your interactions, curiosity is the holy grail of rapport-building techniques.But curiosity is not always innate. It’s a skill which can be practiced. It can be broken down into certain techniques. Use these in conversations and admire the delight you bring to a new person.

Curiosity And How To Leverage It

<ul><li>Excitement is curiosity’s very close cousin. Your excitement shows intrigue. It shows enthusiasm for the other person.</li><li>To show excitement with your words, use positive language. Say words like, “wow,” or “amazing.”</li><li>Use phrases like, “that’s incredible” or “no way, that’s awesome.”</li><li>And most importantly, say these with a smile on your face.</li></ul>

Show Excitement with Your Words

<ul><li>There is no denying the connecting power of body language. When it comes to curiosity, there are certain techniques which demonstrate a desire to learn more.</li><li>First, practice leaning in closer. Move slightly nearer to the edge of your seat. Shift your body forward, especially your upper body.</li><li>Nod your head emphatically and rhythmically. Notice the parts of their story when you should nod in agreement quickly or the times when slow spaced out nods are necessary. </li><li>Practice a tilt of the head as well when puzzled.</li></ul>

Make Your Body Curious

As a curious person, you want to use a blend of open and closed-ended questions. But, open-ended questions are where the additional curiosity really comes in. They create the opportunity to use positive language and curious body language to further express your interest.Try to ask more questions starting with why or how as opposed to what, where or when.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

The natural flow of conversation will 99% of the time result in the other person asking you a question. Don’t panic! There’s no need to answer a question with a question. You don’t have to dismiss their question altogether in an effort to solely be curious about them and reveal nothing about yourself.Instead, include them in your responses. By weaving them into your responses, you allow for them to jump in and expand on what you’re saying. You’re talking about them after all! This technique takes a lot of active listening and practice, so be patient with it.

Relate Your Story to Theirs

It’s always best to be prepared. When interacting with new people, you’ll hit conversational lulls. There will be times when you genuinely do not feel curious. That’s okay. When in doubt, use your go-to phrases.“Tell me more.”“Go on.”“I’d be interested in learning more about that.”“What’s that like?”

Have Some Phrases in Your Back Pocket

<ul><li>Even if we don’t intend to be, if we’re not curious then we’re coming from a place of judgment. We are inferring that we already know or lack the interest in learning more.</li><li>If you’re not curious, you miss the big picture. And this can have negative consequences.</li><li>Ask more questions. Use positive language. Show curiosity with your body.</li><li>The more curious you can be with someone, the more likely you’ll have more conversations in the future.</li></ul>

Be Curious, Not Judgmental

The scene above from Coach Ted Lasso in the eponymous TV show pristinely demonstrates the importance of curiosity. We must seek to learn more. We must never assume we know everything. When it comes…

How to Be More Curious When Meeting New People

Since the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, many of us have been cocooned, talking primarily to our existing colleagues and contacts. But for the sake of our long-term professional growth, it’s time to start meeting new people and rebuilding loose ties once again. We can make use of the following strategies for easing back into networking when we may feel rusty and out of practice: rebuild your dormant ties, ask a friend for connections, identify commonalities, choose targeted events to attend, and recruit a co-host when hosting your own event.

Restart Networking: In A Nutshell

A good starting place to rebuild your networking muscles may be seeking out one-on-one connections. You can begin with colleagues or clients you may have connected with virtually during the pandemic, and with whom you’d like to deepen your relationship. You can also create a list of dormant ties — people you haven’t seen or interacted with much during the past two years, with whom you’d like to refresh your relationship.

Reintroduce One-On-One Connections

Since the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, many of us have been cocooned, talking primarily to our existing colleagues and contacts. But for the sake of our long-term professional growth, it’s time to start meeting new people and rebuilding loose ties once again. To reprioritize networking, the author offers strategies for easing back into networking when we may feel rusty and out of practice: rebuild your dormant ties, ask a friend for connections, identify commonalities, choose targeted events to attend, and recruit a co-host when hosting your own event.

Haven’t Networked in a While? Here’s How to Jump Back In.

Find 100+ Facts About Communication  - Curated from inspiring sources like Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

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Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace

How to Be More Curious When Meeting New People

Haven’t Networked in a While? Here’s How to Jump Back In.

Why Do We Let Our Phones Interfere When We Socialize?

Skip annual reviews and do check ins with employees instead

It's time to
Read like a Pro.

The Antidote To Digital Disconnectivity | NOEMA

Hate and Negative Emotions

On The Metaverse (Part 1)

Attention Required! | Cloudflare

What makes hate a unique emotion – and why that matters | Psyche Ideas

Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace

How to Be More Curious When Meeting New People

Haven’t Networked in a While? Here’s How to Jump Back In.

Why Do We Let Our Phones Interfere When We Socialize?

Skip annual reviews and do check ins with employees instead

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.