Mental strength is the ability to control your mind instead of being controlled by it. Becoming mentally strong doesn’t mean you are able to completely control everything that goes on in your head.Mental strength means understanding which parts of your mind you can control and being able to do it well when it matters. You may not be able to control whether a random worry pops into your mind. But you can control whether you keep worrying about it.There are usually 3 factors that sabotage our emotional strenth: 1. Emotional dishonesty2. Destructive mental time travel3. Unhealthy impulses

Like any kind of training, building mental strength requires a commitment to good habits and practices over time. However, some of these practices can be daunting especially if you have to think of how big of a change in character and lifestyle you have to make in order to be mentally strong. You would have already given up before you've even started. Just like your with your least favorite vegetable or a bitter medicine, how about about taking them in small doses at a time?Here are 3 small changes you can make that can make a difference

How to deal with the 3 Factors that Sabotage our Mental Strength

This habit is so simple that it’s incredibly easy to miss.There'a a chance that you're not quite as honest about your emotions—especially the really difficult ones—as you’d like to believe.ou had a big argument with your spouse last night. This morning, your coworker asks you how you’re doing. You instantly do the textbook 'Im good' of emotional dishonesty because it’s not appropriate to talk about personal issues at work. While its inappropriate to go into detail, that doesn’t mean you can't be honest with how you feel at all. A simple, "I’m doing okay but I had kind of a stressful night."

1.Emotional Dishonesty: Not Being honest about how you feelings

First of all, Do you really know how you feel? Sure you know that you feel upset. But what emotions specifically are you feeling?<ul><li>Are you feeling angry? If so, what type of anger—frustrated, mad, irritated?</li><li>Or maybe you’re feeling hurt… But what type of hurt? Do you feel sad or disappointed? Regretful or ashamed?</li><li>Or maybe—and much more likely—you’re feeling some combination of emotions… Mostly disappointed, but also a bit mad and anxious as well.</li></ul>

Know how you really feel

Even though you may intellectually know you're not ok,if you're in the habit of avoiding talking about how you feel, you’re training your brain to think that painful feelings are things to be avoided and feared and that is a set-up for emotional fragility and pain.By taking even 3 seconds to acknowledge your emotions honestly to yourself and to others, rather than avoiding them, you're teaching your brain that, however painful, difficult emotions aren’t dangerous.

And teach your brain that difficult emotions aren't dangerous

The majority of emotional suffering is a direct result of too much mental time travel.Mental time travel is the amazing ability we have to think about the future with our imagination or relive events from the past out of memory. While this can serve as a warning and help us plan and prepare for the future, this can also hurt us if used inappropriately.

2. Destructive Mental Time Travel: Resisting the unnecessary

Anxiety. The vast majority of anxiety comes from unhelpful thinking about the future. Know when to use your mental time travel ability.Shame. Many instances of depression and low self-esteem are driven by powerful mental habits of self-criticism and self-judgment. Though these painful mental habits can help you become a better person and improve your relationship with others, they can be horribly destructive if allowed to run wild.Aggression and resentment. Ruminating on other people’s mistakes and shortcomings can quickly lead to excessive levels of anger, resentment, aggression, and conflict

Hurt us how?

Cultivate the ability to hold your attention in the present moment. Use your ability to mentally time travel mindfully, not mindlesslyWhen faced with a challenging situation, keep your attention on that current situation, don't replay any upsetting past event to add to what you're already dealing with. Focus on what you currently have to do, or better, focus on the upside.When going for a run, instead of replaying a fight you had w/ your spouse last night or worrying about your exam tomorrow, focus on how it feels to run and be outdoors,how the wind feels on your face or the music on your ipod

The Antidote to destructive mental time travel:

All too often, our best intentions get sabotaged by our own minds: impulsive reactions, cravings, fears, and the like.Resist these unhealthy impulses and cravings by shifting your focus onto your values: why you want to resist that impulse in the first place?If you’re feeling the impulse to eat a second serving of dessert, don't just repeat 'don’t eat the dessert', over and over. Instead think about why you want to resist that craving in the first place. Maybe you value loosing weight and improving your health, or looking good at the beach this summer

3. Unhealthy impulses:  Outcompete them with your values

Then, once you’ve figured out at least one good value behind your desire to resist your craving, clarify and justify it: what are its benefits and advantages? What are the benefits of losing weight and getting healthy? What will you be able to do when you're healthier? How will it make you feel: will it give you more confidence, will it make your home life happier?

Clarify and Justify your Values

Mental illness can creep up when you least expect it. It pays to be mentally strong & prepared at all times

The best way to achieve mental strength and emotional resilience is to focus on building habits that will lead to them over time.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

health

Health

habits

Habits

mentalhealth

Mental Health

How to Bolster Your Mental Health

For many, body satisfaction and self-esteem can feel almost elusive. In a world so full of comparisons and virtually unattainable standards, It’s hard to feel truly happy with yourself when you see a lot of idealized standards that you know are difficult or impossible to achieve.That’s why it’s such good news to find out that self-esteem can improve naturally as you grow older! This means that things get better, and you have a good chance of increasing your happiness simply through perseverance. Keep in mind that you need to want these changes and work towards them for the best results!

Age Helps Improving Perception Of Self.

For many, body satisfaction and self-esteem can feel almost elusive. In a world so full of comparisons and virtually unattainable standards, you may start to despair. It’s hard to feel truly happy with yourself when you see a lot of idealized standards that you know are difficult or impossible to achieve.That’s why it’s such good news to find out that self-esteem can improve naturally as you grow older! This means that things get better, and you have a good chance of increasing your happiness simply through perseverance. Keep in mind that you need to want these changes and work towards them for the best results!

Being enlightened is a matter of right understanding and knowledge about reality.

Body satisfaction and self-esteem increases as we age, says one study. Learn why you grow in confidence with the wisdom or age.

Body Satisfaction and Self-Esteem Improve With Age, According to Study

What you do really matters when it comes to your health. Morning stretches are important for your body to help kick-start your <a href="https://megabloginfo.com/pre-workout-smoothies/">energy levels </a>and to help circulation. Your level of physical activity, along with your <a href="https://megabloginfo.com/what-to-eat-before-the-morning-workout/">dietary choices, affects your daily perform</a>ance<a href="https://megabloginfo.com/what-to-eat-before-the-morning-workout/"> </a>and your risk of a number of diseases, including <a href="https://megabloginfo.com/unhealthy-eating-habits-diseases/">heart disease and some types of cancer</a>. 5-10 minutes Stretching early in the morning in bed can be a safe and beneficial activity for healthy adults and seniors that will help you improve.

Morning Stretches

Lie on your back, bend your knees and place your feet on the floor. With your hands, pull both knees towards your chest at the same time until you feel a stretch in the lower back. Hold both knees for 2-3 seconds and take 6-8 breaths. Repeat 3-5 times daily in the morning.steps:<ol><li>Lie on your back with feet on the floor</li><li>Pull both knees with your hands towards your chest</li><li>Hold for 4-5 seconds until You should feel a mild lower back by this stretch</li><li>Repeat 3-5 times every day</li></ol>

Double Knee-to-chest stretches

Morning stretches are important for your body to help kick-start your energy levels. Can help Reducing pain, chronic and mental conditions

exerciseandfitness

Exercise & Fitness

7 Simple Stretches You Can Do Every Morning in Bed - Health fitness blog info

With the holidays in mind, I am sure that many of you must be very excited. But why exactly do we get so excited?Dopamine is a chemical messenger made in the brain which is released when expecting a reward. In other words, whenever experiencing an activity that is pleasurable, dopamine is released. When dopamine is released, you end up feeling more happy than you did in the moments prior. While you're opening your Christmas presents, the dopamine levels in your body increase in anticipation of getting the present inside. With that being said, enjoy the rest of your holidays!

How does Dopamine Work?

Dopamine is strongly associated with pleasure and reward. It's also involved in motor function, mood, and even our decision making. Learn about symptoms of too much or too little dopamine and how it interacts with drugs and hormones.

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

Turn your bedroom into one. Get a kettlebell and some resistance bands. You’re good to go. There are a million YouTube videos about working out from home.

1. Working out — Don’t have a home gym? 

It’s not like you have to be anywhere. If you can’t get 8-9 hours of sleep at night, squeeze in some naps during the day. It’s good for your immune system and you’ll feel better. But you must adjust your mindset: Instead of grabbing your phone, grab a pillow.

2. Sleeping (a lot)

I’m spending this time together with my close family. It’s more about being around people you genuinely care about. That will lift your spirits and give you energy.

3. Spending time with people you love

Everybody should know how their body functions. I also like to read about the latest scientific research about health and fitness.

It’s always nice to sit down at the end of a day and reflect. What did I do today? What did I learn? What am I going to do tomorrow? Answering those questions is the best time you’ll spend every day.

5. Journaling

Always be learning a new skill. I started practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu a year and a half ago. But I can’t go to classes now. I also picked up archery a while back. Fortunately, I have enough space at my office so I built a small indoor archery set up. I always want to learn a new skill because it reminds me that I’m always a student.

6. Learning a skill

— I like to read and hear about investing strategies of different people. Even though I consider myself a value investor, I still look at what day traders do. I’m interested in finance because I don’t want to waste my hard-earned money. This will come in handy when the coronavirus crisis is over.

7. Making a financial strategy

I start and close my day with reading. And I never miss a day.

8. Reading

It’s nice to have a good conversation with someone who has the same mindset as you. I’ve grown to hate shallow conversations. So I don’t waste my time anymore on people who I don’t have a deep connection with.

Yes, I’m not totally shutting myself off from the news. I still want to know what’s going on. But I limit my consumption to 3/4 times a day. Last few days, I’m only watching the evening news. That’s it.

10. Skimming the news

I can spend hours browsing books that I want to read. But I try to not overdo it. Otherwise, you’re reading more ABOUT books than reading actual books.

11. 

I love some good banter. Life is hard and if you don’t laugh about yourself, you only make it harder. This is very important during difficult times. If you don’t know how to laugh, listen to a podcast by your favorite comedian. You’ll find out what I mean.

12. 

By simply observing your mind, you can learn a lot about how you operate during a crisis. How do you respond to fear? What do you think about all day? Simply observe and learn. That brings you more inner calm.

13. Meditating

Every minute you spend on advancing your life is time you don’t regret spending.

14. Working on your goals

Everyone should create something now they are at home. Think about what you can do with what you already have. I’m currently working on two new books and an online course. You can create digital products or services. But you can also create something physical if you have the resources. Be creative.

15. Creating something

We're wasting more of our time than usual now. Ask yourself: Are the things that I’m doing while I'm quarantined worth my extra time?

problemsolving

Problem Solving

15 Ways To Make Use Of The Extra Time On Your Hands 

We feel stress when something we care about—something we value—is threatenedWe might feel stress over money because we value money. We might feel stress over a big presentation to our CEO because we care about what the CEO thinks of us (we care about our career)Knowing this, highly successful people realize they are feeling stress and pause to ask: what is my body telling me? What is it that I care about, that I think is threatened? When you have that answer, it’s easier to thank yourself for the warning sign and focus on taking action within our scope of control

Stress as a Spotlight on our Values

Successful people control their breathing, to control their physiology<ol><li>INHALE through your nose, counting to four very slowly. Let the air fill your lungs completely.</li><li>HOLD your breath to another count of four.</li><li>EXHALE through your mouth, to a count of four.</li><li>HOLD your breath again for the same count of four.</li><li>Repeat from step 1.</li></ol>

Control your physiology

Highly successful people reframe negative experiences into growth experiences (but, first calm yourself with BOX BREATHING)Focus on reflecting on what went wrong or is going wrongArticulate on what can be done to solve the problem or what can I learn from the experience<a href="https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/fixed-mindset-vs-growth-mindset-examples">Fixed vs Growth Mindset</a>

Reframe With a Growth Mindset 

<ul><li>Find time to exercise</li><li>Get sufficient sleep (doesn't need to be 8 hours)</li><li>Take time to meditate regularly to improve our ability to be in the MOMENT especially during stressful situations</li></ul>

Take care of Body and Mind on a regular basis

Keeping calm under stressful environments

meditation

Meditation

7 Ways Successful People Stay Calm At Work

Sure, everyone says they're ready for a total reset every Jan. 1, but there are indeed many personal habits that you can improve easily. These range from the basics such as exercising more and eating better to finding easier ways to save money. When combined, they just might add up to a new you in the new year.

KICKSTART 2022

Set aside time every morning — even 5 minutes — to simply close your eyes, breathe deeply, and focus on what the day will (and won't) bring. Savor the sense of calm.

1. Visualize your day

People may joke about constantly jotting down what you need to do, as opposed to actually doing it, but a list can help keep you on track, whether it's the morning's errands, a shopping list, or even books you want to read.

2. Make lists

Speaking of books, decide that you will finally read that book you've always wanted to pick up. It might be a classic. It might be a bestseller. Sit down with it and set a timer on your phone for a few minutes each day. You may find yourself unwilling to put it down.

3. Read

Whenever you find yourself with coins in your wallet or pocket, put them in a jar or some other container. With contactless payment preferred these days, you probably won't miss the change, and it can add up to "found" dollars for a guilt-free splurge.

4. Save your coins

Sometimes recycling seems like such a chore that it's tempting to skip it. Figuring out what belongs in which bin may be even more complicated now that recycling needs are in flux around the world. Find out what your community's guidelines are and commit to following them. Mother Earth will thank you.

5. Recycle

Even if you don't feel like you have time for regular jogging or biking, you can fit more movement into your life. Whenever you find yourself standing in line or waiting for a pot to boil or even watching TV, try doing some toe raises or squats or running in place.

6. Incorporate exercise

How good do you feel when someone admires your outfit or praises something you did at work? Try to spread goodwill by complimenting those around you. You'll find it makes you feel pretty good too.

7. Offer compliments

It seems like you have to be tuned in 24/7 to keep up on every last nuance of the news of the day, but that can be a daunting and draining effort. Allot time to keep up on only the basics, and try not to become overwhelmed. Focus on what you need — and want — to know.

8. Follow the news selectively

We all can be our own worst enemy. If you make a mistake, think about what you could've done differently and move on. Stop dwelling on the negative.

9. Think positively

For most of us, the bulk of every day is spent inside. Sometimes a simple walk in the park or around the neighborhood can change your perspective. Make it a point to enjoy nature more.

10. Get outside

Whether it's on your work Slack or at school pickup, it's tempting to join in the gossip. It might be fun in the moment — but when it's negative, you can easily get swept up in drama that you don't need. Break free.

11. Nix the gossip

Maybe it doesn't seem like there's a lot to laugh about these days. Even in the best of times, belly laughs are not an everyday occurrence. So when you find yourself truly laughing out loud, savor the moment.

12. Laugh more

As the new year proceeds, keep checking in on the goals you've set for the year. There's nothing wrong with starting anew on something you've let slide. As long as you don't give up completely — no matter what habit you're cultivating — it just may stick after all.

13. Revisit goals

It's frustrating to be talking to someone who's checking their phone, looking across the room, or otherwise acting distracted. Decide to be the one person who actually listens — and, who knows, you may start to get that same respect.

14. Listen closely

During trying times, it's important to know you have a refuge. Whether it's with your family, close friends, or a community group, make sure you do all you can to keep the bonds strong.

15. Cultivate community

15 Good Habits you should inculcate this NEW YEAR 🌟

It's time to ramp up your pull-up. Pauses will help you gain strength in parts of the pull where you're weak instead of relying on momentum. Also, it'll stop you from swinging during the movement, forcing you to stay super strict. Just pause each rep in the middle on the way up, at the top, and in the middle on the negative.

Controlled Reps

Strict for is very important to me in my training. 

Get stronger by adding pauses to your pull-ups. Pause halfway up, at the top, and again halfway down.

Strict Pause Pull-Ups

One of the key symptoms and struggles in PTSD is flashbacks. A type of flashback unique to Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) are emotional flashbacks. Emotional flashbacks are sudden regressions to feelings of the past, such as severe fear or a sense of abandonment. When flashbacks go unmanaged, the survivor can be lost in their emotions and memories, dissociate, panic, and otherwise become limited or dysfunctional. When you’re having a flashback, try the steps below.

Flashback Management

The starting point is to identify the flashback for what it is. What you’re experiencing is remanence of the past. You are no longer in that situation and you have new tools to manage these sensations.

1. Say to yourself: “I’m having a flashback.”

You are no longer in the past or in that situation. You are safely in the present.

2. Remind yourself: “I feel afraid but I am not in danger.”

Remind yourself that you have the right to have boundaries, to speak up when someone mistreats you, and to leave dangerous situations.

3. Reenforce your boundaries.

In this moment, it may be helpful to envision speaking to your younger self. Reassure them that you love them unconditionally and that they can come to you for comfort and protection.

4. Speak reassuringly to yourself.

The pain and emotions you experienced in the past might’ve felt endless, especially in this moment, but remember that it will past.

5. Deconstruct eternity thinking.

Remind yourself that you’re in an older body with new allies, skills, tools, and resources to protect and support you. What happened to you won’t happen again.

6. Remind yourself of your present.

Fear can launch us into a numb, spaced out state. It’s time to ease back into your body by:<ol><li>Gently asking your body to relax;</li><li>Breathing deeply and slowly;</li><li>Finding a quiet safe place to relax. Items like a blanket or stuffed animal can be soothing and grounding;</li><li>Feeling the fear without reacting to it. Fear is just another energy in your body when it’s not ignored or acted upon.</li></ol>

7. Ease back into your body.

When faced with bouts of negative emotion, it’s easy for the mind to exaggerate the feelings of abandonment and danger. It may begin to spiral down a path of negative thinking or react to danger that isn’t there. Refuse to shame, hate, or abandon yourself. Combat unfair self-criticism by saying no or refuting. Replace negative thinking with a list of your positive qualities and achievements.

8. Resist exaggerated thinking.

Flashbacks reveal old wounds; feelings of hurt and fear that might’ve gone unnoticed all these years. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel these feelings and validate them as they come. Healthy grieving can turn anguish into self compassion and anger into self protection.

9. Allow yourself to grieve.

Build healthy and safe relationships. Inform trusted people in your life about your flashbacks and what they can do to help you. Take some time alone if you need it, but don’t let shame isolate you.

10. Build a support system.

What prompts your flashbacks? Is it a specific smell, sound, taste, texture, or object? Is it a specific person or character trait people may have? Whatever the case may be, it’s important to identify these triggers and avoid them whenever possible.

11. Learn to identify triggers.

Despite having flashbacks, people with C-PTSD may not remember their trauma. Flashbacks are a chance to discover old wounds, unmet needs, and unaddressed damages. Take some time to explore what you’re flashing back to, what it means, and how it makes you feel.

12. Discover what you’re flashing back to.

Don’t beat yourself up for having a flashback. Recovery from a flashback is a slow process that requires a level of self compassion and patience that may initially be hard to cultivate. Take your time and let yourself be slowly pulled out of it.

13. Be patient with yourself.

As the year draws to a close, one of the most useful things I’ve learned this year is how to manage my flashbacks. I wanted to share these here in case anyone else might need them!

Pete Walker M.A., MFT Therapy for and recovery from childhood trauma, abuse and/or neglect, in the East Bay

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." -- The Dalai Lama"Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change." -- Bob KerreyKindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle." -- Charles Glassman

Kindness Counts

"There is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end." -- Scott Adams"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." -- Leo Buscaglia"Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are." -- Harold S. Kushner

Kindness Counts Cont.

"Compassion bring us to a stop, and for a moment we rise about ourselves." -- Mason Cooley"If compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." -- Jack Kornfield"Learning to stand in somebody else's shoes, to see through their eyes, that's how peace begins." -- Barack Obama

Compassion Is A Virtue

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." -- Dr. Seuss

Value Of Self

A new year is an excellent time for self-care and development.

These words will help you make it a practice not just to think about kindness, but to practice it year-round

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

10 Simple Quotes to Inspire Kindness in the New Year & Help You Build Realistic Resolutions

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