Dr. Ramani Durvasula defines narcissism as a collection of traits that center around an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a deep lack of empathy for others.However, Dr. Ramani also emphasizes the complexity of narcissism. She highlights that narcissists can be very charming and charismatic at first . It's the shift, where the manipulative and controlling behaviors emerge, that can be confusing.

What is Narcisism?

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Grandiosity: An inflated sense of self-importance, believing they are superior</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Entitlement: A sense of deserving special treatment and privileges</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Lack of empathy: Inability to understand the feelings of others</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Need for admiration: Constant craving for praise & validation.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Hypersensitivity to criticism: Reacting poorly to any feedback or disagreement</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Charismatic but manipulative: Initially charming, but controlling</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Prone to gaslighting: Deliberately manipulating situations to make their target question their own reality</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Projecting blame: Shifting responsibility to others</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Un-accountable</li></ul>

Signs of a Narcisist

Grandiose Narcissism: They have big dreams and appear larger than life. Successful, but also tend to hold grudges and view others as obstacles to their success.Vulnerable Narcissism: They see themselves as victims and struggle with feelings of inadequacy. A grandiose narcissist can become vulnerable if they do not get their way.Malignant Narcissism: The most severe type, it involves manipulative and isolating behavior. They may show some remorse, but it is the stepping stone towards psychopathy.Communal Narcissism: They are fixated on being seen as kind and charitable.

Different Types of Narcissism

How many narcissists are there in society?<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The estimated percentage of observable narcissists is about 18%. Approximatively 1 in 6 people. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Narcissism exists on a spectrum and can be observed in varying degrees in all individuals.</li></ul>Some professions tend to attract more narcissists, such as management or business, while others, like politics and social activism, are dominated by narcissists.

Narcissism in Society

Many successful individuals are narcissists. From politicians to business leaders, the qualities that make them successful often include a lack of empathy & a strong sense of self-importance. While this may lead to great accomplishments, their intelligence and charm can also make them terrible partners:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Narcissists are often driven by their own self-interest, rather than the greater good.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They may achieve great success, but it can come at a cost to those around them.</li></ul>As the saying goes, "You can appreciate a narcissist in charge of a company, just don't marry one!" 😜

Narcissism and Success

There is no numerical difference between men and women when it comes to being narcissists. But they are different in type.Men tend to be more grandiose, while women tend to be more vulnerable. They manifest differently, but they are equally damaging in a relationship.

Narcisism and Gender

No, narcissism is a psychological trait that cannot be created by technology. However, social media amplifies existing narcissism and turns a small-scale issue into a larger one. "Virtue signalling," for example, is a phenomenon fuelled mostly by communal narcissism.While most teenagers may appear narcissistic on social media, it is impossible to know for sure until they reach adulthood. The behavior of teenagers is not identical to that of narcissists.

Is Social Media Making Us Narcissists?

How to know you are one?Self aware narcissist are very rare. A true narcisist will have very little self awareness of the effect they have on other people. Most would see their narcisism as a super power. A commitment to a goal or an ideal.

Are you a narcisist?

Can you be happy being a relationship with a narcisist? Yes, but not from the relationship.

If you are trapped in a relationship with a narcisist the main practice is radical acceptance. You have to be aware of the trait of the other person and stop hoping you can change him or her.When the inevitable manipulations begin it's important to stop engaging. You can't productively argue with a narcisist. They will default to gaslighting:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Denial: The narcissist will deny things they clearly said or did, twisting the situation</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Rewriting history: Rewrite past events to fit their narrative, making you doubt your own memories.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Diminishing your feelings: Dismiss your emotions as "overreacting"</li></ul>

Dealing with a narcisist

Narcisism is a one the main negative psychological traits. It's impirtant to be aware of it. 

1 in 6 people are narcissists, so what is a narcissist and how can you spot one?Dr Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist, Professor of Psychology at California State University, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is also the author of books such as ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist’, and ‘"Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility’.In this conversation Dr. Ramani and Steven discuss topics such as, whether your partner is a narcissist, the 4 types of narcissist, why up to 50% of famous people are narcissists, and whether narcissists are better in bed.(00:00) Intro(02:08) Why Dedicating Your Life To Studying Narcissism(03:10) The Cost Of Narcissism(06:07) How To Spot A Narcissist(12:27) How To Differentiate An Asshole From A Narcissist(15:19) Can You Cure Narcissism?(16:39) What Gender Tends To Be More Narcissistic(18:24) The Types Of Narcissism(25:07) How Many People Are Narcissists?(27:21) Is Social Media Fuelling More Narcissists(32:09) Where Does Narcissism Come From Genetics Environment(36:06) Narcissism Lives In A Spectrum(37:08) Are Narcissists More Successful(40:12) The Empathic CEOs Are Rare(43:04) Does Money Make You More Narcissistic?(47:03) How Do You Know If You Are A Narcissist(50:19) What People Get Attracted To Narcissist?(53:41) How To Know If My Partner Is A Narcissist(55:32) The Three Rs: How To Know If You're In A Negative Relationship(59:28) Pathological Manipulation(01:00:56) What's Projection?(01:04:20) Can They Take Feedback(01:05:55) Gaslighting, What Is It?(01:10:49) How To Deal With Being Gaslit(01:13:10) Do Narcissists Engage In Domestic Behaviour(01:15:17) What Should I Do If My Boss Is A Narcissist(01:17:31) Can You Get Out From A Narcissistic Person(01:21:32) Can You Be Happy In A Relationship With A Narcissist(01:23:08) What Is The Weak Point Of A Narcissist(01:24:44) Why Don't They Like Authentic People(01:25:51) Famous Narcissists(01:31:55) You Can Come Back From Narcissistic Abuse(01:34:04) Hardest Day Of Your LifeYou can order Dr Ramani’s most recent book, ‘It's Not You: How to Identify and Heal from NARCISSISTIC People’, here: https://amzn.to/42YI79KFollow Dr RamaniTwitter - https://bit.ly/3wF91raInstagram - https://bit.ly/48A634KWatch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/3kxINCANKsbFollow me:https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceoSponsors: Eightsleep: https://www.eightsleep.com/uk/steven/Uber: https://p.uber.com/creditstermsLinkedin Ads: https://www.linkedin.com/doac24 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Parenting

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Love & Relationships

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Teamwork

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Podcasts

A few years ago I was a broke, university dropout, living in a studio-flat in a rough area. At 18 I started a company which would eventually become "Social Chain" - an industry leading marketing company. At 26 the company was generating $600m a year in revenue. At 27 I resigned as CEO, and launched 'The Diary Of A CEO' podcast with the simple mission of un-filtering success and giving you the knowledge you need to create the life you want. Thank you for listening. My New Book: https://smarturl.it/D IG: https://www.instagram.com/steven LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevenbartlett-123

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

The Narcissism Doctor: "1 In 6 People Are Narcissists!", "Are Narcissists Better In Bed?", "Can A Narcissist Change? - Dr. Ramani Durvasula

About Narcissism with Dr. Ramani Durvasula

Sending a heartfelt birthday wish can bring joy and a sense of belonging to your friends. Let's spread some love and make their day a little brighter with a simple gesture!<ul><li>Remembering birthdays shows that you care</li><li>It maintains and deepens friendships</li><li>A heartfelt birthday wish brings joy and a sense of belonging</li><li>It's a small gesture that goes a long way</li><li>Spread some love and make someone's day brighter</li></ul>

Remember Birthdays: A Small Gesture, A Big Impact

One of the most fulfilling aspects of friendship is the ability to support and help each other. Being generous with your time, knowledge, and advice creates a positive cycle of giving and receiving.Here are some ways you can show generosity to your friends:<ul><li>Listen actively and be present when your friend needs to talk</li><li>Offer helpful advice and insights based on your own experiences</li><li>Share relevant resources and connections to help your friend</li></ul>Acts of generosity strengthen the bonds that tie us together.So, next time a friend comes to you for help or advice, remember to be generous.

The Importance Of Being Generous With Help And Advice

In the digital age, the simplicity of physical presence conveys more than text, emojis, or photos ever could. Take the time to show up in person for your friends, whether for a casual coffee or during significant life events. It enhances emotional closeness, strengthens relationships, and creates long-lasting memories. Here's why:
<ul>
 <li>It fosters a deeper sense of understanding and empathy.</li>
 <li>It conveys your dedication, reliability, and trust.</li>
 <li>It creates a space for authentic, meaningful conversations.</li>
</ul>

Show Up: The Power Of Presence

Stop harmful gossip, elevate conversations and connections with others!


Why Is Gossip Harmful?
<ul>
 <li>It can have negative consequences</li>
 <li>It reflects poorly on you</li>
 <li>It perpetuates a culture of negativity</li>
</ul>


How Can You Stop It?
<ul>
 <li>Focus on positive conversations</li>
 <li>Speak kindly about others</li>
 <li>Safeguard your reputation</li>
</ul>


Remember: Elevate conversations, elevate connections!

Say No To Gossip: Elevate Conversations, Elevate Connections

Stepping out of your comfort zone and meeting new people can be invigorating. Set a goal to connect with at least three new people in different settings. Not only will this expand your social circle, but it will also introduce you to diverse perspectives and interests. Embrace the opportunity to learn from others and discover shared passions.
Here's how to make three new friends:
<ul>
<li>Attend a club or group that aligns with your interests.</li>
<li>Strike up a conversation with someone new at school or work.</li>
<li>Join a volunteer opportunity and connect with others over a shared cause.</li>
</ul>

Make Three New Friends

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it's easy to overlook the profound impact that friendships can have on our overall well-being.

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it's easy to overlook the profound impact that friendships can have on our overall well-being. In this fast-paced world, taking the time to connect with friends is not just a luxury; it's a necessity. Let's explore some simple yet powerful ways to foster and strengthen these…

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Productivity

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Personal Development

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Time Management

Creating Happy Friendships: Easy Steps to Create Deeply Meaningful Relationships

Balance is often considered the key to a healthy and fulfilling life. It involves maintaining equilibrium in various aspects, and while it has numerous positive aspects, there are potential negatives as well.

<ol><li>Mental Well-being</li><li>Physical Health</li><li>Productivity</li><li>Relationships</li><li>Adaptability</li></ol>

Importance of Balance

Balance promotes mental well-being by preventing burnout, stress, and exhaustion. It allows for moments of relaxation and rejuvenation.

1. Mental Well-being

Striking a balance between work, rest, and exercise contributes to physical health. Avoiding extremes helps prevent health issues associated with overworking or neglecting self-care.

2. Physical Health

A balanced approach to work and life enhances productivity. Taking breaks and managing time effectively prevents fatigue and improves overall efficiency.

3. Productivity

Balance in relationships involves giving and receiving support, maintaining boundaries, and ensuring that personal and shared goals are considered.

4. Relationships

A balanced mindset fosters adaptability. It allows individuals to navigate changes and challenges more effectively, as they are not rigidly attached to a single way of doing things.

5. Adaptability

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Problem Solving

Balance 

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬, 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬.

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰...

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Mental Health

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Communication

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Leadership & Management

Facing Project Obstacles: An Emotional Journey

If you saw the man's face first then your secret weakness is falling in love and choosing your significant other with heavy emotional baggage. Carrying the emotions of your past trauma you are not in a rush to repeat the experience now but you are indeed ready to experience the risk, but you need to move at a certain pace which makes you feel safe.

The man's face

You always believe that someone is better waiting for you. You are an idealist in every single aspect of your life and specifically when it comes to your personal life you are a born swagger with a powerful aura. But do not scare people away who truly care for you.

Mermaid on the rock

It is your fixation on the material world to choose a significant other. You're not completely superficial but you do like the finer things and might enter into a fling with an artist but will never make it official. It is fine to maintain your standards but do not let go of meaningful connections with someone you might just be meant to be with.

Shell holding the pearl

You have this need for someone you can take care of as you're a born natural caretaker with nothing making you feel better than being able to actively do things that can make your partner's life better. However, do not sell yourself short and let people also do the same amount of effort for you.

Bird holding the branch

What you see first in this image tells about your weakness in choosing your romantic partner

Decoding Love's Reflection: An Optical Illusion Challenge

This is a classic <a href="https://geediting.com/phrases-manipulators-use-to-chip-away-at-your-confidence/">phrase of a manipulative person </a>– prying on your emotions to shift blame from them to you.Some people are indeed more sensitive than others.Like if you’re a highly sensitive person, you have more empathy and feel everyday things more intensely.But even so, just because you’re sensitive, that doesn’t mean something is your fault.If someone tries to say you’re “just being sensitive” and “it isn’t their fault you’re so sensitive” – be careful.

1. It's not my fault you're too sensitive

Ouch! Sadly, a manipulative person will say anything to shift blame away from them.<a href="https://drcarlamanly.com/manipulators-and-predators-are-everywhere-discover-how-to-spot-red-flags-and-heal-from-manipulation/#:~:text=That's%20why%20people%20who%20tend,on%20five%20dates%20with%20them.">Experts </a>say that manipulative people tend to pry on those with low self-esteem or insecurity issues.Why? Because these people are generally easier to manipulate.It’s common for <a href="https://geediting.com/things-people-dont-realize-they-do-when-they-lack-self-esteem/">people who lack self-esteem </a>to feel damaged, problematic, or like there’s something wrong with them compared to everyone else.So when a manipulative person says this, it fuels that inner belief and makes you more likely to believe that you are the problem, instead of them.

2. You're just damaged

Phrases manipulators use to shift blame, according to psychology

Words like "improve," "grow," and "evolve" are really just positive expressions for "change."As we all know, the only thing consistent in life is change. But the defining element for the nature and quality of that change is awareness. Without awareness, change has no direction and no higher purpose.

It's all about change.

Being aware of what is going on outside of you is far easier than being aware of what is going on inside of you.
What others say and do, how they say and do it, traffic, weather, politics, love, hatred, kindness, and war - who has time to self-examine when there is so much to focus on "out there"?
And by focusing "out there," you are opening yourself up to being judgmental and placing blame.

Awareness

If you focus on the outside and blaming others, your power evaporates. You can’t change anything because you have no stake in the game. You become and remain a victim. Having no responsibility means you also have no power. And having no power means you can’t affect change when and where you want. As a victim in your own life and relationships, you retreat into defensiveness to protect yourself from a world that you assume is against you.

The problem with blame

What is self-awareness and how does it help in improving relationships? If you're currently in a struggling relationship, here is what you need to do be more aware of yourself and your partner.

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Mindfulness

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Meditation

How Self-Awareness Can Improve Your Relationship

This is when someone (the abuser) intentionally cause disgrace to the victim especially in the midst of crowd, to reduce his or her self worth. Therefore, causing the victim to be engulfed in the wave of shame.According to Wikipedia, Humiliation is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It is an emotion felt by a person whose social status, either by force or willingly, has just decreased. Humiliation is the primary cause of shame which can lead to depression.

Humiliation.

This is when the abuser falsely accuse or assign false responsibility to his or her victim for being the reason behind a bad, unfortunate situation or phenomenon.Blaming is a cognitive distortion which involves assigning guilt or responsibility for how we feel to someone else which in the end, ultimately leads to negative emotional conditions to the victim.

Blaming.

This is when the abuser purposely ignores the victim by refusing to communicate when they (the victim) is trying to communicate, by pretending that they don't or never existed.This behaviour may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour as it can leave significant psychological and emotional repercussions on the person on the receiving end. Because, being left in silence can be extremely painful and can leave the victims questioning "what really happened?" or "what have I done wrong?".

Silent Treatment.

This is a strategic abusive behaviour, when the abuser restricts the victim from the outside world controlling their social activity, ie. whom they see, whom they talk to, where they go. May also include materials they digest: the books they read, TV shows they watch, music they listen to, food they eat and so on.Thereby, blocking any form of support to the victim inorder to gain total control over them, both physically and mentally.

Isolation.

This is when the abuser tells the victim that he or she is over-reacting or being overly dramatic to a situation thereby making the victim think or feel that the situation seem less important, insignificant, or complex than it really is, therefore is not supposed to react that way.The size of discomfort is proportional to the size of the problem. Here, the abuser makes small and downsize something (especially complaint) which is important to the victim and hence expects them to ignore it. Even when they know the victim have a point but because they don’t want to deal with it, they wave it out.

Trivializing

"Verbal abuse is still abuse. It's abuse in the form of words. Don't assume that a few hurtful words won't cost them their life. Words hurt."

"To deny someone's feelings and experiences to live, is to literally deny their reality."

Now that you've gotten to the end, if you feel you may have or is currently experiencing this, and you might have a strong tendency to believe that what is happening is your fault, I need you to understand that it is not your fault. Also, freeing yourself from someone who is causing you mental abuse is very difficult. You do not have to do it alone. Seek the help of trusted family, friends or a mental health therapist.PRO TIPS- Don’t try to reason with your abuser. They will not magically change unless they want to change and seek professional help. It is not your responsibility.ABUSE IS REAL.

The Abuse Is Not Your Fault or Your Responsibility

Emotional abuse truly makes you think there is something wrong with you. Learn the dynamics of emotional abuse-you may be surprised that you've been experiencing it. PART TWO.

Abuse & Types. II

Mental abuse is the use of threats, verbal insults, and other more subtle tactics to control a person's way of thinking.This form of abuse is especially disturbing because it is tailored to destroy self-esteem and confidence and undermine a personal sense of reality or competence.Human being are wired in different ways meaning that we think differently as well as behave in distinct character. However there are some, who in a way, choose to toil or exploit another mostly minorities to be a head over them or in some cases, makes them to feel less of themselves to feel better or boost their ego.

What Is Mental abuse?

When the abuser uses degatory and abusive terms verbally, by using sarcasm, belittling language on their victim. And if in a relationship, they'd even use their partner's insecurities against them.These behaviors can create a toxic dynamic within the relationship and can cause long-lasting emotional damage.

Name Calling.

When the abuser makes the other person doubt their understanding of reality, manipulating the victims opinions by projecting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding on the victim in attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind.The most distinctive feature of gaslighting is that it’s not enough for the gaslighter simply to control his victim or have things go his way: It’s essential to him that the victim herself actually come to agree with him.

Gaslighting.

When the abuser makes clear intentions to deliberately inflict pain and harm in a frightening quality or manner to the victim as a consequences in coercion for failing to comply with a given request or demand.

Threatening.

When the abuser intentionally withholds affection and proper care. Instead the abuser gives an inappropriate amount of affection to their victim either by bread crumbing after an extreme series of love bomb or they don't even give any at all.

Withholding  Or Neglect.

This is when the abuser puts the needs of another person (the victim) away, as an irrelevant matter, liking it to a matter unworthy of consideration.

Dismissiveness.

This is when the abuser constantly and continously judges or shares negative opinions on their victims efforts even when they give their best. Belittling the person's performance, behavior, or personality making them feel like they can never do anything right.

Constant Criticism.

PRO TIPS- Incase you are caught up in situations like this, it is important to take note of these characteristics in order to avoid being mentally abused.

Abuse & Types.

True kindness is not about lavish or excessive giving. It's about giving genuinely from the heart, even small acts. It also requires purpose and intention behind it. Random acts without deliberate thought don't have the same meaning.

What's Not Kindness - Extravagance

Being kind isn't about nurturing laziness or irresponsible behavior that could hurt someone in the long run. Kindness means compassionately helping others become self-sufficient and grow.

What's Not Kindness - Enslaving

Authentic kindness avoids enabling dependencies. It isn't just telling people what they want to hear or agreeing blindly. Kindness means speaking and acting with wisdom and care, not just comfort, even when it's hard. The most thoughtful kindness considers what the other person truly needs, even when that requires tough love.

What's Not Kindness - Comforting

- Some of the most inhumane and brutal leaders in history have had below-average intellects. If you look at dictators, you'll often find that they lacked critical thinking skills and wisdom, even as they were proficient at oppression and violence. - Higher intelligence does not automatically make someone more ethical; neither does lower intelligence destiny a person to cruelty. - But historical records do suggest there can be an inverse relationship - those who brutalize others the most seem to often be less intellectually gifted themselves.

PoV On Cruelty

Intelligence is having the right knowledge/wisdom to keep your heart on the spectrum of helping others while you and your belongings are respected.

Kindness doesn't rely solely on intellect, having the ability to understand and interpret emotions effectively can enhance one's capacity for kindness. It's not about being academically smart, but rather about being emotionally aware and sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. It's all about heart and mind working together to make the world a better place! While you don't need to be a genius to be kind, having a certain level of emotional intelligence can enhance your ability to connect with others, understand their perspectives, and act compassionately.

Kindness Requires Certain Intelligence

You don't need to be intelligent to be cruel.

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Money & Investments

What's Not Kindness

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