I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are. The notion that genius is only thinly separated from insanity goes back at least to ancient Greece. Aristotle linked the two when he said, “There is no great genius without a touch of madness.”*Many of history's most celebrated creative geniuses were mentally ill, from renowned artists Vincent van Gogh and Frida Kahlo to literary giants Virginia Woolf and Edgar Allan Poe.

There Is a Thin Line Between Genius and Insanity?

Current findings of some 20 or 30 scientific studies endorse the notion of the "tortured genius." Of the many varieties of psychosis, creativity appears to be most strongly linked to mood disorders, and especially bipolar disorder. "People with bipolar tend to be creative when they're coming out of deep depression. ""When a bipolar patient's mood improves, his brain activity shifts, too: activity dies down in the lower part of a brain region called the frontal lobe, and flares up in a higher part of that lobe. Amazingly, the very same shift happens when people have bouts of creativity. "

Tortured Genius

Of course, no one is bursting with creative energy during a severe bout of depression or schizophrenia. Above all, these conditions are debilitating and even life-threatening, the scientists said, and although society benefits from the productivity of its tortured geniuses, those individuals don't always consider their moments of brilliance to be worth the extensive suffering.

Suffering  > Brilliance

“There is no great genius without a touch of madness.”* 

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

writing

Reading & Writing

creativity

Creativity

Geniuses and Mental illnesses.

People who pursue ideas, who have a form of intelectual curiosity (especially in a digital world) are classified as either nerds or geeks. But the 2 can be separated based on their production capability:- a geek can be a programmer who writes useful code, thus being productive & useful somehow- a nerd is interested in 14th century poetry just for the hell of it, not producing anything useful for others.A dork is someone with no intelectual curiosity and no production capabilities.

Geeks, Nerds .... and Dorks

Everybody has a dream, but nobody has a plan!

John Donovan, author of "The way of man", says masculinity is a combination of 4 traits: honour, strength, courage & mastery. Vincent Harinam proposes a similar triad:<ol><li>Courage: being afraid of doing something but doing it anyway</li><li>Personal Responsibility, verging on extreme ownership: taking responsibility for not only your problems but group and family also.</li><li>Conquest: having a goal bigger than yourself</li></ol>All of the above are based on the meta-skill of emotional control. Does not matter how you feel when you get up in the morning .... there is a job to be done, and real men do it.

What does it mean to be a man?

Is a term coined by Vincent Harinam to describe the perfect man: one that has dark triad characteristics but that is also benevolent. It's a contradictory definition, aiming for a unity of contradictions.The Dark Triad is made up of three traits: Machiavellianism, Narcissism and Psychopathy. They sound negative but it's men with these characteristics that are considered sexy & interesting. A dark gentleman will balance out these attributes with a benevolent triad: Parental Investment, Protection and Provision (providing the goods and making decisions).

Dark Gentleman

Interesting perspectives about what it means to be a man

Vincent Harinam is a data scientist, law enforcement consultant and writer on social phenomenon and the dating market. Between Tinder and OnlyFans, polyamory and Red Pill, incels, simps, sugar daddies and gold diggers, it's difficult to say that romance is alive and well in modern culture. Vincent has written some of the best articles and done huge deep data dives to uncover why the modern dating market is such a mess. Expect to learn why smart women are less likely to get married, why simping is such an unsuccessful dating strategy, how women's modern dating advice is mostly total trash, what Vincent's data uncovered around what women and men look for in a partner, how asymmetries in the dating market can create men who are dangerous for public safety and much more... Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Get a $5 discount on Magic Spoon’s amazing cereal at https://magicspoon.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get 5 days unlimited access to Shortform for free at https://www.shortform.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Get 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D and Free Shipping from Athletic Greens at https://athleticgreens.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Extra Stuff: Check out Vincent's articles - https://quillette.com/author/vincent-harinam/ Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom #dating #redpill #tinder - 00:00 Intro 00:24 Vincent’s Incredible Writing 04:45 Why Simping Doesn’t Work 10:26 What Does it Mean to be a Man? 16:48 Defining ‘Dark Gentlemen’ 25:50 Why More Men are Single than Women 34:27 Impact of Eugenics in Dating 41:32 Reality of the Gender Wage-gap 47:50 How Casual Sex Misinforms Long-term Relationship Goals 54:09 Should Humanity Return to Polygamy? 1:01:40 The Disney-fication of Relationships 1:14:06 Can Female Competency Be Detrimental in Dating? 1:18:06 Should We Take Marriage More Seriously? 1:24:12 Dealing with Fringe Groups in Society 1:29:13 Where to Find Vincent - Join the Modern Wisdom Community on Locals - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Listen to all episodes on audio: Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Vincent Harinam is a data scientist, law enforcement consultant and writer on social phenomenon and the dating market.

Between Tinder and OnlyFans, polyamory and Red Pill, incels, simps, sugar daddies and gold diggers, it's difficult to say that romance is alive and well in modern culture. Vincent has written some of the best articles and done huge deep data dives to uncover why the modern dating market is such a mess.

Expect to learn why smart women are less likely to get married, why simping is such an unsuccessful dating strategy, how women's modern dating advice is mostly total trash, what Vincent's data uncovered around what women and men look for in a partner, how asymmetries in the dating market can create men who are dangerous for public safety and much more...

Sponsors:
Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/

Get a $5 discount on Magic Spoon’s amazing cereal at https://magicspoon.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM)

Get 5 days unlimited access to Shortform for free at https://www.shortform.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied)

Get 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D and Free Shipping from Athletic Greens at https://athleticgreens.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied)

Extra Stuff:
Check out Vincent's articles - https://quillette.com/author/vincent-harinam/ 
Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/
To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom

#dating #redpill #tinder

-

00:00 Intro
00:24 Vincent’s Incredible Writing
04:45 Why Simping Doesn’t Work
10:26 What Does it Mean to be a Man?
16:48 Defining ‘Dark Gentlemen’
25:50 Why More Men are Single than Women
34:27 Impact of Eugenics in Dating
41:32 Reality of the Gender Wage-gap
47:50 How Casual Sex Misinforms Long-term Relationship Goals
54:09 Should Humanity Return to Polygamy?
1:01:40 The Disney-fication of Relationships 
1:14:06 Can Female Competency Be Detrimental in Dating? 
1:18:06 Should We Take Marriage More Seriously?
1:24:12 Dealing with Fringe Groups in Society
1:29:13 Where to Find Vincent

-

Join the Modern Wisdom Community on Locals - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/

Listen to all episodes on audio:
Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2MNqIgw
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn

-

Get in touch in the comments below or head to...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx 
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx
Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Bonjour I'm Chris, Host of the Modern Wisdom Podcast. Understanding the world is hard, this channel should help.

Chris Williamson

Why Is The Modern Dating Market A Mess? - Vincent Harinam | Modern Wisdom Podcast 410

Vincent Harinam on manhood

Most people have wondered if there is life beyond Earth in space. With all of the countless billions of stars and possible planets and moons in space, many people think that under the right conditions, life can exist elsewhere in space. However, there is no evidence for this yet. NASA is operating or planning several missions which will search for evidence of life on Mars, on the moons of Jupiter and Saturn, and which will search for Earth-like planets around other stars. Other projects, like SETI, are scanning the sky for signals from intelligent life in outer space.

Is In Life In Outer Space? 

#shorts #space #facts Is there life in outer space? Most people have wondered if there is life beyond Earth in space. With all of the countless billions of stars and possible planets and moons in space, many people think that under the right conditions, life can exist elsewhere in space. However, there is no evidence for this yet. NASA is operating or planning several missions which will search for evidence of life on Mars, on the moons of Jupiter and Saturn, and which will search for Earth-like planets around other stars. Other projects, like SETI, are scanning the sky for signals from intelligent life in outer space. One day these projects may discover life in outer space. Know more about…  Space : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO6kTsDI4xfnAISJIMWKxkPoL9qoU9Hwv General knowledge : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO6kTsDI4xfn6hHfyZBGiw-atw0its-7Q Science & Technology : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO6kTsDI4xfmONVgfMhMbstBLpZuyJCP2 Health : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO6kTsDI4xflrlYCGE0EIyWXoBoNG81-r 🙏Requests🙏  I requested to you (My viewers) please subscribe to my channel and if you like video then please press like button.All youtubers are doing hard work in video making and your like, Share, Subscribes are fruits for our hard works.   You also follow me on: -  Facebook: www.facebook.com/thetechers You can visit my Website : www.knowledgevaccination.blogspot.com This video is under Fair Use: Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act in 1976;  Allowance is made for "Fair Use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.  Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing.  Non - profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.  All rights and credit go directly to its rightful owners.  No copyright infringement intended. Sound credit : The Cosmos Video Credit : storyblocks Thank you all of you...🙏

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

#shorts #space #facts
Is there life in outer space?
Most people have wondered if there is life beyond Earth in space. With all of the countless billions of stars and possible planets and moons in space, many people think that under the right conditions, life can exist elsewhere in space. However, there is no evidence for this yet. NASA is operating or planning several missions which will search for evidence of life on Mars, on the moons of Jupiter and Saturn, and which will search for Earth-like planets around other stars. Other projects, like SETI, are scanning the sky for signals from intelligent life in outer space. One day these projects may discover life in outer space.

Know more about… 

Space : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO6kTsDI4xfnAISJIMWKxkPoL9qoU9Hwv


General knowledge : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO6kTsDI4xfn6hHfyZBGiw-atw0its-7Q


Science & Technology : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO6kTsDI4xfmONVgfMhMbstBLpZuyJCP2


Health : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO6kTsDI4xflrlYCGE0EIyWXoBoNG81-r


🙏Requests🙏 

I requested to you (My viewers) please subscribe to my channel and if you like video then please press like button.All youtubers are doing hard work in video making and your like, Share, Subscribes are fruits for our hard works.

 

You also follow me on: - 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/thetechers

You can visit my Website : www.knowledgevaccination.blogspot.com


This video is under Fair Use: Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act in 1976;  Allowance is made for "Fair Use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.  Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing.  Non - profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.  All rights and credit go directly to its rightful owners.  No copyright infringement intended.


Sound credit : The Cosmos

Video Credit : storyblocks

Thank you all of you...🙏

Hi Friends,
In this channel, We provide you with Facts about Latest Space, Science & Technology research and information, Research based Health-related facts, General Knowledge facts, and many more. Your Information, Our Responsibility. 
Here I research a lot to make one video and Compress it in only 1-10 minutes video to gives you an instant knowledge boost. 
So friends Subscribe to my channel and watch my videos. Also, press the Bell icon to get new video notifications. And if you like videos, don't hesitate to tell your friends to subscribe to my channel. 
Because The Knowledge is Infinite.
Thank you in advance.

Sudhir Talati

Is there life in outer space? #shorts

Stress is <a href="https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/stress">defined</a> as “mental or emotional strain resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.” We’ve all felt it, but where does stress come from?Humans are unique in our capacity to predict what might happen next. We rely on our amazing ability to anticipate the future better than any other animal, and this ability is a feature of our unusual intelligence.Unlike other animals, which (as far as we know) react solely to what’s going on in their environment, humans can imagine entire realities in our heads. These alternate realities make us act in all sorts of strange ways.

The Origin Of Stress

While imagining the future motivates us to pursue what we want, it also comes with a cost. All that thinking about what might happen next is stressful.What if I told you that same powerful difference in focus and mindset is impacting you right now?You’re about to learn how to create a real-life forcefield against the stress you face every day.

Just Our Imagination

The stress we experience is based on our perception of what’s going to happen next. If we anticipate a threatening situation, our body releases stress hormones to prepare us to face the threat.But if we believe we have control over a threatening stimulus, then we don’t need to prepare for that threat in the same way. We don’t need to be on full alert with the fight-or-flight response gearing us up for survival.

The Power Of Control: What Will Happen Next

This change in focus—from the many uncontrollable aspects of life to the few controllable ones—can have a profound effect. That’s because our perception of reality is, to a large extent, created by the focus of our attention.

The Change In Focus

Our human tendency is to focus on threats and problems. For the sake of our emotional wellness, it makes sense to modify that automatic tendency. You can’t control the stressors that come your way, but you can influence the focus of your own attention. That’s why we recommend you focus on the things that give you back a feeling of control.Want another tool to combat stress? Counterintuitively, one of the best things we can add to your toolbelt is an entirely different belief about stress—one befriending it instead of battling against it.

What You Can Control

When people believed stress was something bad that must be avoided, it had a far worse impact on their health. In contrast, among those who perceive stress as a normal part of pursuing goals, there was no correlation between higher stress and poor health outcomes.

What You Believe

Feeling out of control makes us feel even more stress, perpetuating the harmful cycle. Perhaps it’s time to consider an alternative view of stress. What if we stopped seeing stress as something abnormal or threatening to your future health and instead thought of it as something that empowers us to be our best?

The Alternate View

An athlete who knows there’s a short break around the corner is capable of pushing harder during periods of extreme exertion. And if you think about this in the context of your own life, it probably makes sense. It’s easy to push hard for the last two days of work before a vacation, or even the last hour of a typical workday. That’s because you know you’re about to get a break.When you intentionally push yourself outside of your comfort zone and schedule periods of rest and recuperation, something interesting happens—your capacity to endure stress increases.

Knowing The Future

An entrepreneur who feels constantly pressed for time during her nine-hour workday might experiment with doing a 14-hour workday once per week for three weeks. Each of these long workdays is followed by a shortened workday of only six hours. In this case, she is stretching her sense of what’s possible by working longer than what feels comfortable. Then she recovers, taking it easy the next day.The effect is less stress.

Being In Control 

You don’t have to choose between a healthy life and a life of full engagement with high, hard goals. You can have both.The way to have both is to take control of the stress you put on yourself. By proactively seeking stress in forms that further your goals, you can change your set point for what feels overwhelming. Doing so will eliminate the feeling that stress is happening to you. It’s instead something chosen by you. You’re taking control of stress before it takes control of you.

Less Stress, More Achievement

Stress isn’t your enemy. It’s not even a bad thing. Stress is, in a very real way, what you make of it. You can take control of it, or you can let it control you. The choice is yours.

Stress: The Final Word

Stress comes from anxiety about future problems and the lack of control over them. This article introduces a few surprising techniques to handle stress.

health

Health

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

How to Turn Off Harmful Stress Like a Switch

First Break All the Rules asserts that the status quo is counter productive, and encourages management to adopt innovative approaches to employee engagement. 
 There are four keys for unlocking potential in your employees: select for talents, suggest outcomes rather than direct control of process, focus on employees strengths and work around weaknesses, and finally find the right fit for your employees.

Breaking The Status Quo

<ul>
<li>Do I know what is expected of me at work?</li>
<li>Do I have the equipment I need to do my work right?</li>
<li>Do I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day?</li>
<li>Have I received recognition for good work?</li>
<li>Does anyone care about me as a person?</li>
<li>Does anyone encourage my development?</li>
<li>Do my opinions matter?</li>
<li>Does the mission/purpose of my company make me feel my work is important?</li>
<li>Are my co-workers committed to doing quality work?</li>
<li>Do I have a best friend at work?</li>
<li>Have I talked to someone about my progress recently?</li>
<li>Have I had opportunities at work to learn and grow?</li>
</ul>

Workplace Strength: The 12 Questions

As a manager, it is your responsibility that your employees reply with an emphatic “yes” to the 12 questions. Positive responses to these questions were strongly correlated to profitability, productivity, employee retention, and customer satisfaction. 
If you can generate positive responses to these questions then you have the ability to attract and retain quality employees. The importance of influential perks, pay, or a charismatic CEO was not established in the author’s research.

A Yes To All 12 Questions

Normally we associate talent with celebrated excellence. Great managers disagree with this definition of talent. It is too narrow and too specialized. 
Instead they define talent as a recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behavior than can be productively applied. The emphasis here is on the word recurring. Your talents, they say, are the behaviors you find yourself doing often

Identifying and Understanding Talent

Great managers know that every role in a workplace requires talent because there are recurring patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Managers that are able to select for these patters will have more harmonious results on their team. 
One of the biggest mistakes managers make is selecting for other factors like experience or intelligence, and ignore required talents (for example, empathy is a required trait for nurses).

Empathy And EQ Over Experience

<ul><li>Striving talents explain the ‘why’ of a person: what motivates them, do they want to stand out, and is ‘good enough,’ good enough for them?</li><li>Thinking talents explain the ‘how’ of a person: how they think, their decision making processes, are they focused, disciplined, strategic or non-linear in thinking?</li><li>Relating talents the ‘who’ of a person: who do they trust, who they build relationships with, do they avoid confrontation or have a desire to win people over? Do they love or hate surprises?</li></ul>

The Three Types Of Talent

We all possess talents within the contexts of these categories. It is important to recognize that talents can’t be taught, they can only be cultivated and encouraged within the work roles assigned to that person. Skills, on the other hand, can be taught (i.e. typing speed, surgical techniques, software etc.). This does not mean entirely that people can’t change over time, but as managers, we need to be aware of underlying talents and work with them rather than against them.

The Intangible Talents That Cannot Be Taught

High performing managers understand that trying to achieve direct control of employees is futile and that trying to change people’s natural talents will not work. The solution is both simple and elegant: define a required outcome and then let the employee find their own way forward, through a path of least resistance.The most efficient way to turn someone’s talents into performance is to help him find his own path of least resistance towards the desired outcome.

Helping And Empowering

<ul><li>Create “perfect people”  by imposing a “best way” attitude and that you have the right answers. This is disempowering, demeaning and prevents self-exploration and learning.</li><li>Believe that employees don’t have enough talent, which can be true, but not if your hiring criteria is critically based on talents rather than selecting for other strengths.</li><li>Believe that “trust is precious it must be earned.” Great managers must reject the concept of earning trust.</li><li>Believe that “some outcomes defy definition” such as abstracts like employee satisfaction and customer feedback.</li></ul>

The Four Temptations That Hinder Growth

<ul><li>Select people. Differentiate between talent, skills and knowledge</li><li>Set accurate performance expectations</li><li>Motivate (recognition and care)</li><li>Develop the employee </li></ul>Managers look inward, leaders look outward.

What Great Managers Do

<ul><li>Select for talent (not simply for the experience, intelligence, determination)</li><li>Define the right outcomes (not the right steps)</li><li>Focus on strengths (not on weaknesses)</li><li>Find the right fit </li></ul>

The Four Keys

Employees must follow certain required steps for all aspects of their role that deal with accuracy and safetyEmployees must follow steps when they are part of a company or industry standardRequired steps are useful only if they do not obscure the desired outcome.

Defining The Right Outcome: The Rules

<ul><li>Talent interview should stand alone</li><li>Ask open-ended questions and keep quiet</li><li>Listen for specifics and top of minds</li></ul>Clues to talent:<ol><li>Rapid learning: which roles have you been able to learn quickly? What comes easy now?</li><li>What do you find fulfilling?</li></ol>Know what to listen for. Know what the top answer is (e.g. top salespeople hate to be doubted, top teachers love it)

Interview For Finding Talent

Develop a performance management routine to keep focused on the progress of each person's performance.Routines are:Simple.<ul><li>Frequent (not all criticism at once; recent examples; results and problems fresh in memory).</li><li>Focused on the future.</li></ul>Ask the employee to keep track of his own performance and learnings in a private document.

Managing Performance

<ul><li>What did you enjoy most about your previous work experience? </li><li>What brought you here? what keeps you here?</li><li>What do you think your strengths are? Your weaknesses?</li><li>What about your goals for your current role?</li><li>Do you have any personal goals or commitments you would like to tell me about?</li><li>What is the best praise you have ever received? what made it so good?</li><li>Have you had any really productive partnerships or mentors? why do you think these relationships worked so well for you?</li></ul>

Basic Routine Questions

<ul><li>How would you describe success in your current role? can you measure it?</li><li>What do you actually do that makes you as good as you are? what does this tell you about your skills, knowledge and talents?</li><li>Which part of your current role do you enjoy the most?</li><li>Which part of your current role are you struggling with? what does this tell...? what can we do to manage around this? (training? positioning? support system? partnering?)</li></ul>

Career Check Discovery Questions

This book is a result of an exhaustive study undertaken by the Gallup organization involving 80,000 managers across a large number of industries exploring the concepts of employee satisfaction, selecting and maintaining good employees, and means of measuring employee satisfaction. The approach was revolutionary when published (1999) and has become a business classic because it challenged the status quo.

Gallup presents the remarkable findings of its revolutionary study of more than 80,000 managers in First, Break All the Rules, revealing what the world’s greatest managers do differently. With vital performance and career lessons and ideas for how to apply them, it is a must-read for managers at every level. The greatest managers in the world seem to have little in common. They differ in sex, age, and race. They employ vastly different styles and focus on different goals. Yet despite their differences, great managers share one common trait: They do not hesitate to break virtually every rule held sacred by conventional wisdom. They do not believe that, with enough training, a person can achieve anything he sets his mind to. They do not try to help people overcome their weaknesses. They consistently disregard the golden rule. And, yes, they even play favorites. This amazing book explains why. Gallup presents the remarkable findings of its massive in-depth study of great managers across a wide variety of situations. Some were in leadership positions. Others were front-line supervisors. Some were in Fortune 500 companies; others were key players in small entrepreneurial companies. Whatever their situations, the managers who ultimately became the focus of Gallup’s research were invariably those who excelled at turning each employee’s talent into performance. In today’s tight labor markets, companies compete to find and keep the best employees, using pay, benefits, promotions, and training. But these well-intentioned efforts often miss the mark. The front-line manager is the key to attracting and retaining talented employees. No matter how generous its pay or how renowned its training, the company that lacks great front-line managers will suffer. The authors explain how the best managers select an employee for talent rather than for skills or experience; how they set expectations for him or her — they define the right outcomes rather than the right steps; how they motivate people — they build on each person’s unique strengths rather than trying to fix his weaknesses; and, finally, how great managers develop people — they find the right fit for each person, not the next rung on the ladder. And perhaps most important, this research — which initially generated thousands of different survey questions on the subject of employee opinion — finally produced the twelve simple questions that work to distinguish the strongest departments of a company from all the rest. This book is the first to present this essential measuring stick and to prove the link between employee opinions and productivity, profit, customer satisfaction, and the rate of turnover. There are vital performance and career lessons here for managers at every level, and, best of all, the book shows you how to apply them to your own situation.

books

Books

Gallup presents the remarkable findings of its revolutionary study of more than 80,000 managers in First, Break All the Rules, revealing what the world’s greatest managers do differently. With vital performance and career lessons and ideas for how to apply them, it is a must-read for managers at every level. The greatest managers in the world seem to have little in common. They differ in sex, age, and race. They employ vastly different styles and focus on different goals. Yet despite their differences, great managers share one common trait: They do not hesitate to break virtually every rule held sacred by conventional wisdom. They do not believe that, with enough training, a person can achieve anything he sets his mind to. They do not try to help people overcome their weaknesses. They consistently disregard the golden rule. And, yes, they even play favorites. This amazing book explains why. Gallup presents the remarkable findings of its massive in-depth study of great managers across a wide variety of situations. Some were in leadership positions. Others were front-line supervisors. Some were in Fortune 500 companies; others were key players in small entrepreneurial companies. Whatever their situations, the managers who ultimately became the focus of Gallup’s research were invariably those who excelled at turning each employee’s talent into performance. In today’s tight labor markets, companies compete to find and keep the best employees, using pay, benefits, promotions, and training. But these well-intentioned efforts often miss the mark. The front-line manager is the key to attracting and retaining talented employees. No matter how generous its pay or how renowned its training, the company that lacks great front-line managers will suffer. The authors explain how the best managers select an employee for talent rather than for skills or experience; how they set expectations for him or her — they define the right outcomes rather than the right steps; how they motivate people — they build on each person’s unique strengths rather than trying to fix his weaknesses; and, finally, how great managers develop people — they find the right fit for each person, not the next rung on the ladder. And perhaps most important, this research — which initially generated thousands of different survey questions on the subject of employee opinion — finally produced the twelve simple questions that work to distinguish the strongest departments of a company from all the rest. This book is the first to present this essential measuring stick and to prove the link between employee opinions and productivity, profit, customer satisfaction, and the rate of turnover. There are vital performance and career lessons here for managers at every level, and, best of all, the book shows you how to apply them to your own situation.

Marcus Buckingham

Curt Coffman

First, Break All the Rules

Think of jobs as verbs, rather than nouns. So, for example: I do journalism, rather than I’m a journalist. Or: I do youth education, rather than I’m a teacher.
It is a mental shift that can help to disentangle who you are as a person from how you spend your days to make money for rent and groceries.

The Mental Shift

From that moment we’re asked this question, early in childhood, our identity becomes inseparably tied to the thing we do to make money. Whether we actually fulfill those wild dreams is beside the point; we’re conditioned to tie our core identity to a profession.
As we grow into that mindset, we embrace that a career is a singular force pushing our lives forward, and if we’re lucky enough to be good at what we do, it can be difficult to have perspective.

When We Grow Up: The Focus On What We Do

Experts say it’s important to protect yourself from letting problems in one area of your life affect the other areas, especially now that the borders between every aspect of our lives are blurrier than ever. 
A bad week at work is a drag on your mental health, but if your work is only a part of your identity, and not defining it completely, the overall emotional impact of that bad week is less severe.

You Are A Person First

Simply start putting the boundaries in place.
This could mean not answering your phone or email after your workday has ended, or not engaging with a Slack message while you’re taking a 15-minute mental health break during the day. But often, when people just start carving out those boundaries for themselves, they discover it’s fine. Nothing happens, no one even notices.

Where To Draw The Lines

career

Career

Remember: What You Do Is Not Who You Are

- Practice regular self-reflection- Clarify your future aspirations- Read books about the meaning of life

Ways you can lead a more meaningful life

A meaningful life requires comprehension (being able to make sense of your experience), significance (perceiving your life to be worthwhile), and purpose (having goals for your life that you deem valuable).

how do we achieve a greater sense of meaning in life?

“Extended over their lifetime, people who are more aware of what makes their lives meaningful, and who can access that content in a deliberate, cognitive fashion, should enjoy more stable and abundant meaning in life.”

There are many scientific scales of meaning in life. One of the easiest, quickest ones to use is the “Meaning in Life Questionnaire” (MLQ)

Measuring and fostering meaning in life

Philosophers and psychologists alike have long argued about the definition and factors of a meaningful life. What does it mean to live a meaningful life? Is meaningfulness necessary for happiness? While these questions may seem to belong to the realm of the metaphysical, meaningfulness is actually associated with greater well-being, and scientists have even devised ways to measure meaning in life.

The Oldest Questions

Ways take a proper reflections of our lives

Meaningfulness is associated with greater well-being, and scientists have even devised ways to measure meaning in life.

habits

Habits

problemsolving

Problem Solving

How to measure meaning in life

Ultimately, what defines a hard decision isn’t so much the decision itself, but how it is perceived by the decision-maker. You might feel that a decision is hard because:
<ul>
<li>the stakes, for you, are particularly high;</li>
<li>two or more options weigh the same in your mind; or</li>
<li>this decision brings back unhelpful memories or fears.</li>
</ul>
Decisions are complex, not necessarily because the choice between two options is complex but also, more importantly, because human beings are complex.

The Difficulty In Decision Making

The etymology of the word ‘decision’ provides important insight. It comes from the Latin word caedere meaning ‘to cut off’.
Decisions cut us off from other choices, other opportunities and the possibility of better outcomes. For this reason, the act of deciding can feel like a self-inflicted wound.

The Origin

When faced with a difficult decision, it can be tempting to take the easy road and procrastinate. This attitude illustrates what might be the greatest myth about decision-making: that, faced with two choices, we still have the option to not decide and to do nothing.
In fact, procrastination is not the refusal to decide, or to ‘freeze’ a decision in time, rather it is the active decision to remain undecided. It is only when you realise that procrastination is a decision that you will start finding this option less attractive.

Avoiding A Decision Is A Decision

<ul>
<li>In the short term, people experience more regret from ‘errors of commission’ (taking an action that leads to a disappointing outcome).</li>
<li>In the long term it is actually ‘errors of omission’ that lead to more regret – that is, disappointing outcomes that arise from not taking an action.</li>
</ul>

Short and Long Term Regrets Of Decisions

When facing difficult decisions, it is likely that different parts of you might want different things.
When deciding whether to book a pricey holiday, one part of you (prudent) might think that this expense is unreasonable, while another part of you (hedonistic) prefers to make the most of life and go for it, while yet another part of you (serious) will think that work should come first.
Decision-making involves the deliberation between the different parts of yourself. It involves getting them to sit together around an imaginary table to agree on an outcome they can all settle for.

Split

The more you struggle with difficult decisions, the less distance from them you enjoy and the more bogged down you can become.
And yet, psychological distance provides a sense of perspective that is a key component of effective decision-making.

Birds Eye View

In the 16th century, the Spanish priest and theologian Ignatius of Loyola suggested three ways you can achieve more psychological distance from a difficult decision:
<ul>
<li>by letting go of your preferred option momentarily, to consider all options objectively (later in the Guide I show a way to do this);</li>
<li>by imagining that you are advising a friend making the same decision; and</li>
<li>last but not least, by imagining reflecting from your deathbed on the same decision, years (hopefully many decades!) later.</li>
</ul>

Creating Psychological Distance

Even the world’s most famous investor, Warren Buffett, credits some of his best decision-making to a method known as the 10/10/10, meaning: how will I feel about today’s decision in 10 days’ time, vs 10 months, vs 10 years? 
Here again, it is about creating more distance between yourself and your decision, to benefit from a greater perspective.

Warren Buffett's 10/10/10 Rule

How can you think outside the box and see that other elusive option?
<ul>
<li>One way is to adopt a childlike mindset. As children go through school education, grow up and learn to function as productive adults, one thing they tend to lose is their creative confidence, this positive emotion that comes from looking at tasks without preconceived notions of what outcome is expected.</li>
<li>Another way to think outside the box is to ask friends or contacts who are known for this ability if they can see another option available to you.</li>
</ul>

Thinking Outside The Box

Objectives are the ultimate goals that a decision aims to achieve. 
It is important to list your objectives and cross-check how many of them would be satisfied by each decision. Research has shown that our decisions frequently suffer from having too narrow a range of objectives (perhaps because we are not thinking outside-the-box enough).

List Out Your Objectives

By methodically assessing your options against a comprehensive set of objectives, it is possible that one option will emerge as the obvious decision to take. In many instances, though, more work will be needed.
One can consider each of your options separately, listing the potential outcomes where you to take that option and making an estimation of the likelihood of each of those outcomes happening. This approach has particular merit if you are finding it hard to distance yourself from a preferred option, or to rid yourself from potentially irrational positive or negative biases.

Use a Weighting System to Compare Multiple Options

<ul><li>First, what are the objectives behind your decision?</li><li>Next, what weight (from 0-100 per cent) would you assign to each objective: ie, how important is this objective to you?</li><li>Now, turning to each option available to you, what mark (between 1 and 10) would you give it to fulfil the various objectives?</li><li>Add up and compare the options. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the option with the highest score is the one they must follow, but the exercise leads people to question what matters most to them.</li></ul>

Comparing The Options

Any systematic weighting exercise requires you to assign scores and probabilities in a way that isn’t entirely scientific and that relies on an element of ‘gut feeling’.
However, this isn’t a weakness of these approaches, as tapping into the emotional part of your psyche is key to effective decision-making. In some cases, it is the most essential component.

Listen to Your Emotions

A practical approach is to write about each option (half a page each time on a separate sheet), and explore how you feel while writing; also, how you feel about each sheet in front of you. If you throw them into the wastepaper bin one by one until one remains, what are the emotions and feelings prompted when you dispose of them?
Another shortcut into your emotions is to close your eyes when thinking about each option and try to identify the colour that you see (with your eyes still closed) when thinking about one or the other option.

The Emotion Exercise

Having selected your best option, you need to act upon it. This is what trips up many people. They find it hard – sometimes even impossible – to get started. One way out of such a dilemma is to break down your big decision into a series of micro-decisions.
This is only the beginning of the process, but getting started with this level of clarity can create a momentum that is more likely to lead to progress.

Use Micro-Decisions to Overcome Inertia

Making decisions under pressure can blur people’s judgment in at least three ways:
<ul>
<li>Under stress, we tend to behave as if we are under time pressure even when we’re not. We often have more time than we think.</li>
<li>Pressure leads people to adopt a narrow vision of the situation at hand. In highly stressful situations, we tend to focus all our attention on the decision and ignore peripheral information, which may be vital. This is known as ‘cognitive tunnelling’.</li>
<li>Others will suffer from the opposite problem and experience ‘decision inertia’.</li>
</ul>

The Way Pressure Affects Decision Making

Establish whether your team is working towards the same objectives and ask the following key questions:<ul><li>What do you think will happen if you do, or do not, match your competitor’s offer?</li><li>If you did decide to match the other offer, what would be the implications for your company (both financially, and in terms of resource allocation and team management)?</li><li>Do you all agree that matching the rival offer makes sense? Do you agree on your best compensation package?</li><li>Does the decision you are leaning towards jar with your own professional/ethical judgment or are you fully supportive of it?</li></ul>

Cohen-Hatton’s Decision-Making Approach

<ul><li>Why are we taking this decision?</li><li>What do we think will happen if we do?</li><li>Is the benefit of taking this decision proportional to the risk?</li><li>Do we have a common understanding and position on the situation? In the case of a firefighting mission, this would mean ensuring that all the officers agree on their reading of the situation, and on the approach to follow.</li><li>Is the collective decision in line with my professional judgment and experience?</li></ul>

The Five Questions Before Deciding Under Pressure

It’s tempting but unwise to delay important choices. Grasp the nettle by using both systematic checklists and gut instinct

productivity

Productivity

How to make a difficult decision | Psyche Guides

<ol><li>Irritability</li><li>Negative impact on productivity</li><li>Emotional detachment</li><li>Changes in sleep patterns</li><li>Emotional eating</li></ol>

5 Signs You're Emotionally Stressed Out

Have you been feeling a bit unlike yourself? Has it been harder to keep healthy habits and to connect with your loved ones the way you’d hope? If so, there’s a chance you’re coping with some emotional distress that you’re suppressing or might not even be aware of. But having self-awareness can help start the coping process, so we made this video just for you! Are you emotionally distressed? This video might help you identify if that's the case: https://youtu.be/1DayJzl1fkI Writer: Cindy Nguyen Script Editor: Isadora Ho Script Manager: Kelly Soong VO: Amanda Silvera Animator: Zuzia IG @zuzia.png YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong References Brewer, Jud. “Are You Stuck in the Anxiety-Distraction Feedback Loop?” Harvard Business Review, 1 Feb. 2021, hbr.org/2020/05/are-you-stuck-in-the-anxiety-distraction-feedback-loop. “Emotional Eating up during Pandemic.” MIBluesPerspectives, 17 Mar. 2021, www.mibluesperspectives.com/2020/11/02/emotional-eating-on-the-rise-during-the-pandemic/. “Emotional Stress: Warning Signs, Management, When to Get Help.” Cleveland Clinic, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/6406-emotional-stress-warning-signs-management-when-to-get-help. Fraga, Juli, et al. “COVID-19 Stress Is Making America Increasingly Irritable. but What Is All This Rage Hiding?” NBCNews.com, NBCUniversal News Group, 9 Sept. 2020, www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/covid-19-stress-making-america-increasingly-irritable-what-all-rage-ncna1239585. “How Stress Connects to Productivity.” Business.com, www.business.com/articles/stress-and-productivity-what-the-numbers-say/. Schlarb, Angelika A., et al. “Sleep Disturbances and Mental Strain in UNIVERSITY Students: Results from an Online Survey in Luxembourg and Germany.” International Journal of Mental Health Systems, BioMed Central, 29 Mar. 2017, ijmhs.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13033-017-0131-9. “Struggling with Emotional Eating?” Harvard Health, 15 Aug. 2017, www.health.harvard.edu/diet-and-weight-loss/struggling-with-emotional-eating. “Why Anxiety Causes Detachment.” Calm Clinic – Information about Anxiety, Stress and Panic, 1 Mar. 2021, www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/detachment.

Have you been feeling a bit unlike yourself? Has it been harder to keep healthy habits and to connect with your loved ones the way you’d hope? If so, there’s a chance you’re coping with some emotional distress that you’re suppressing or might not even be aware of. But having self-awareness can help start the coping process, so we made this video just for you!

Are you emotionally distressed? This video might help you identify if that's the case: https://youtu.be/1DayJzl1fkI 

Writer: Cindy Nguyen
Script Editor: Isadora Ho 
Script Manager: Kelly Soong 
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Zuzia IG @zuzia.png
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong 

References
Brewer, Jud. “Are You Stuck in the Anxiety-Distraction Feedback Loop?” Harvard Business Review, 1 Feb. 2021, hbr.org/2020/05/are-you-stuck-in-the-anxiety-distraction-feedback-loop.
“Emotional Eating up during Pandemic.” MIBluesPerspectives, 17 Mar. 2021, www.mibluesperspectives.com/2020/11/02/emotional-eating-on-the-rise-during-the-pandemic/.
“Emotional Stress: Warning Signs, Management, When to Get Help.” Cleveland Clinic, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/6406-emotional-stress-warning-signs-management-when-to-get-help.
Fraga, Juli, et al. “COVID-19 Stress Is Making America Increasingly Irritable. but What Is All This Rage Hiding?” NBCNews.com, NBCUniversal News Group, 9 Sept. 2020, www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/covid-19-stress-making-america-increasingly-irritable-what-all-rage-ncna1239585.
“How Stress Connects to Productivity.” Business.com, www.business.com/articles/stress-and-productivity-what-the-numbers-say/.
Schlarb, Angelika A., et al. “Sleep Disturbances and Mental Strain in UNIVERSITY Students: Results from an Online Survey in Luxembourg and Germany.” International Journal of Mental Health Systems, BioMed Central, 29 Mar. 2017, ijmhs.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13033-017-0131-9.
“Struggling with Emotional Eating?” Harvard Health, 15 Aug. 2017, www.health.harvard.edu/diet-and-weight-loss/struggling-with-emotional-eating.
“Why Anxiety Causes Detachment.” Calm Clinic – Information about Anxiety, Stress and Panic, 1 Mar. 2021, www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/detachment.

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5 Signs You're Emotionally Burnt Out (And Don't Even Realize It)

Tactical Empathy, the art of intentionally using concepts from neuroscience to influence emotions as a core stratagem in navigating any type of friction.
Workplace negotiations entail trust and teamwork more than pinning an opponent to the ground. One has to use a collaborative approach to a conflict.

Win Workplace Negotiations

Tactical empathy requires demonstrating to your counterpart how deeply you’re listening to their words and, in effect, how thoughtfully you’re considering their position. One key tactic, called “mirroring,” entails echoing back one to three words the other person uttered, which can help build rapport from the outset.
Mirroring can also be a survival tactic for awkward networking events. Faced with a roomful of strangers, one can simply echo words and phrases to get them to open up. This simple practice can even turn idle chit-chat into meaningful conversations.

Mirroring Your Counterpart to Establish Rapport

Will this tactical empathy work when parties come from different cultures? What about with someone who uses silence as a power-maneuver?
Everybody on earth wants to know that they’re being understood and will open up when they feel they are listened to.

Negotiating Across Cultures

Mirroring and the other negotiation tactics require patience and practice. Before any big conversation, try out these techniques with friends or even your kids.
The upfront time invested in building long-term trust will always pay off. It’s a really subtle accelerator and the better the relationship gets the more a deal’s timeline gets accelerated.

Investing Time To Build Relationships

In a MasterClass course titled "Win Workplace Negotiations," former FBI negotiator Chris Voss shares strategies for assessing your counterpart.

marketingandsales

Marketing & Sales

How to win workplace negotiations

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