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Understanding the importance of constructive criticism
How to receive constructive criticism positively
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A man was living close to a mountain,Ā and every day he was thinking:Ā How would it be to climb that mountainĀ and what would I see on the peak?Ā So finally, the day came, and the man went on the journey.Ā Arriving at the foot of the mountain,Ā he met the first traveler.Ā So he asked,Ā "How did you get up the mountain, and what did you see from the top?"Ā And so the traveler shared his path,Ā and also the view that he had.Ā But then the man was thinking,Ā āThe way that this traveler described to me sounds very exhausting.Ā I need to find another way to climb.ā
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So the man continued to walk on the foot of the mountainĀ until he met the next traveler.Ā So once again he asked,Ā āHow did you climb up that mountain,Ā and what did you see from the top?āĀ And so again the traveler shared his story.Ā Still not being determined on which direction and which way to go,Ā the man asked 30 more people, 30 more travelers.Ā When he finished talking to all of them,Ā he finally made up his mind.Ā āNow that so many people already shared with me their pathsĀ and especially what they all saw from the top,Ā I donāt need to climb there anymore.ā
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What this story teaches us is, firstly, that each individual needs to find the most suitable wayĀ to climb that mountain.Ā But secondly, there is informationĀ possible to be shared with words,Ā but it is impossibleĀ to share the experience of clarityĀ when you are standing on that peak by yourself.Ā To invest the right effortĀ in climbing that peak,Ā itās very much what all the Buddhist practices,Ā the Shaolin training,Ā or any spiritual practice is about.
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Clarity means we see more clear.Ā
When we see more clear, interrelations become more apparent.Ā
When we see more clear,Ā there is no need to believe anyone or anything.Ā
Seeing clearly means we can distinguish for ourselvesĀ which is the proper direction to takeĀ and which decisions we have to makeĀ in order to make our goals or aspirations take shape.Ā
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Along our personal journey,Ā we will encounter challenges.Ā Those challenges will either prevent us,Ā or some of them even stop us,Ā from moving on and climbing that mountain.Ā In the Shaolin practice, they are referred to as āthe five hindrances.ā The 5 hindrances are describing different states of the mind.Ā In those states of the mind,Ā it becomes very hard to see clearlyĀ and therefore engage in the right decisions.
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The first hindrance is called āsensual desire.āĀ Sensual desire arises in the momentĀ when we are paying attention to somethingĀ that is giving us a positive emotion.Ā This positive emotion can originate from five gates of our body:Ā Seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, or feeling.Ā So in our mind, we climb up that mountain.Ā After one mile of walking,Ā we discover a beautiful restaurantĀ surrounded by beautiful people.Ā We smell delicious food and the great variety of beverages.
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When we follow that temptation,Ā we have already lost our track.Ā
When this temptation becomes so strongĀ that we donāt want to leave that place anymore,Ā then the sensual desire has turned into an obsession.
In both cases,Ā remaining at that place means that we canāt get clarity.
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The second hindrance, āill-will,ā describes the state of the mindĀ that arises from negative emotions.Ā In that state of the mind,Ā we have an aversion, a rejection, or simply a dislikeĀ against either an object, a situation, or can be even a person.Ā To simplify, it means:Ā We are climbing the mountain,Ā and it starts to rain,Ā but we don't like rain.Ā We discover the roads are bumpy,Ā but we donāt like bumpy roads.Ā Whatever it is that we dislike,Ā it wonāt make it a pleasant journeyĀ unless we learn to let go of this ill-will.Ā Itās more likely even that we wonāt continue that journey.
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The third hindrance originally translated as āsloth and torpor.āĀ āSlothā means the heaviness of the body.Ā āTorporā means the dullness of the mind.Ā It is characterized by sleepiness,Ā non-motivation,Ā lack of energy,Ā and oftentimes can manifest itselfĀ in a state of depression.Ā Now, a simile used in Buddhism describes it as āimprisonment.āĀ We find ourselves locked in a cell.Ā It becomes very hardĀ to make any type of mental or physical effort.Ā So in order to continue our path,Ā there is only one option left.Ā We need to find a way to get out from that hole, from that cell.Ā
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The fourth hindrance is called ārestlessnessā.Ā It is the state of an unsettled mind.Ā āUnsettled mindā means our mind cannot settle.Ā Settle where?Ā Settle in the present moment.Ā An unsettled mind either is worrying about the futureĀ or traveling into the pastĀ and rejecting,Ā judging about an event that happened into your past.Ā A simile used here is the monkey mind,Ā constantly jumping from one branch to another,Ā unable to stay for too long time at the present moment.Ā The problem is, there is no time to see clearly anymore.
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The last of the five hindrances is called āskeptical doubt,āĀ and it's very closely related to a state of mindĀ which is based on indecisiveness.Ā It is very easy in that state of mind getting lost in thoughts.Ā Can I do this?Ā Is this the right path?Ā What will the others say?Ā āWhat ifā this? āWhat ifā that?Ā The mind cannot synchronize with our own actions anymore.Ā And the result isĀ that we are getting disconnectedĀ with the goals and aspirations that once we have set to ourselves.Ā When the way is filled with too much doubts,Ā more often we will stop instead of moving on.
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First, we need to align and structure our life in such a way asĀ to prevent those hindrances from arising.Ā If we are not successful,Ā we need to use techniques in order to remove them.Ā Each of these hindrances is placing a dark cloud on our mind,Ā or on the way of our climb.Ā Simply remember one thing:Ā
Just let it RAIN.
Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Non-Identify.
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This is a 4 step methodĀ to help us in removing the 5 hindrances. The first step is to recognizeĀ in what state of the mind we are finding ourselves in.Ā Afterwards, learn to accept, acknowledge,Ā and allow the situation or the personĀ to be the way it is,Ā to be the way they are. Investigate our emotional and mental state,Ā and ask questions:Ā Why did it come up?Ā What is going to be the consequence if I remain in that state?Ā And ultimately, non-identification means detachingĀ and delimiting: I am not the body.Ā I am not the mind.Ā I am not my emotion.Ā These are just three aspects that I see about me.
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All of our lifetimes,Ā all of our lives are too uniqueĀ to copy the path from someone else.Ā
To bring meaning to our life,Ā to bring value into our life,Ā we need to learn and master ourselves,Ā and not let the hindrances stop us.Ā
Just let it RAIN.
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If any of you choosesĀ to climb that path to clarity,Ā I would be very happy to meet you at the peak.Ā
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In this TED Talk, Shaolin Master Shi Heng Yi talks about self-discovery and the hindrances along the way to it and to personal growth. Learn why RAIN is an essential part of each flowering, and every small step a part of the journey to the highest peak.
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