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The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

by John Gottman

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1.09K reads

Short Summary

1. Enhancing love maps

2. Nurturing fondness and admiration

3. Turning toward each other

4. Accepting influence

5. Solving solvable problems

Principle One – Enhance Your Love Map

  • This means deeply knowing each other. It can include knowing his or her challenges, dreams, friends, beliefs, favorites of all kinds, and childhood experiences.
  • The more you know your love partner the more intimacy happens, and hence it is called as love map...

Principle Two – Nurturing Fondness and Admiration

  • Means expressing appreciation, acknowledgment, pride, care, admiration, and adoration.
  • Mutual affection and respect are essential for a lasting and fulfilling romance.

Fondness and admiration prevents

  • Criticism
  • Contempt

Principle Three – Turn Toward Each Other

  • Doing small things daily for your partner will help to keep your relationship long lasting .
  • To show your love , listen to your partner, listen to what they always want to say and share, instead of saying you’ll listen later or don’...

Principle Four – Let Your Partner Influence You

Means that happy couples are a team, that always considers each other point of view, perspective and feelings, happy couple are those who always make decision together, they respect each other point of view and comes to a common ground, Let your...

Principle Five – Solve Your Solvable Problems

For resolving conflicts,

  • Soften your startup: This means you need to start your conversation without getting too harsh.
  • Learn to make and receive Repair Attempts: Learn any a...

Principle Six – Overcome Gridlock

The author says when Dreams are respected, Couples feel happy in their relationship, And also realizes that marriage is supposed to support each other for their dreams not to manipulate the other one to not to achieve their goals, marriage is about supporting...

Principle Seven – Create Shared Meaning

Marriage is not only about raising children’s, splitting chores or making love but it also has a spiritual Dimension that has to do with creating inner life togetherness – A culture rich with Rituals, and the appreciation for your roles and goals that links you, that wil...

5 Magic Hours Activities

  • Parting: Author says before saying bye for office you need to find out one thing which is happening in the partner’s life that day.
  • Reunions: Here you need to have stress-reducing conversation daily at the ...

JOHN GOTTMAN

“Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for the enjoyment of each other’s company”

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