The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work - Deepstash

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Short Summary

Short Summary

1. Enhancing love maps

2. Nurturing fondness and admiration

3. Turning toward each other

4. Accepting influence

5. Solving solvable problems

6. Overcoming gridlock

7. Creating shared meaning

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Principle One – Enhance Your Love Map

Principle One – Enhance Your Love Map

  • This means deeply knowing each other. It can include knowing his or her challenges, dreams, friends, beliefs, favorites of all kinds, and childhood experiences.
  • The more you know your love partner the more intimacy happens, and hence it is called as love map of your partner, here you need to know your partner very well.

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Principle Two – Nurturing Fondness and Admiration

Principle Two – Nurturing Fondness and Admiration

  • Means expressing appreciation, acknowledgment, pride, care, admiration, and adoration.
  • Mutual affection and respect are essential for a lasting and fulfilling romance.

Fondness and admiration prevents

  • Criticism
  • Contempt
  • Defensiveness
  • Stonewalling

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Principle Three – Turn Toward Each Other

Principle Three – Turn Toward Each Other

  • Doing small things daily for your partner will help to keep your relationship long lasting .
  • To show your love , listen to your partner, listen to what they always want to say and share, instead of saying you’ll listen later or don’t have time, sit with them and listen what they really what to share, you can show your romance by showing them your love and care on a daily basis, it’s not necessary to do big things always but small things daily creates more impact.

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Principle Four – Let Your Partner Influence You

Principle Four – Let Your Partner Influence You

Means that happy couples are a team, that always considers each other point of view, perspective and feelings, happy couple are those who always make decision together, they respect each other point of view and comes to a common ground, Let your partner influence you means to honor and respect each other and this understanding will help you to make a successful and happy relationship.

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Principle Five – Solve Your Solvable Problems

Principle Five – Solve Your Solvable Problems

For resolving conflicts,

  • Soften your startup: This means you need to start your conversation without getting too harsh.
  • Learn to make and receive Repair Attempts: Learn any action or statement which helps to repair or decrease the tension of that argument.
  • Soothe yourself and each other: When you are getting irritated on argument take few minutes break, calm yourself your brain, close your eyes and relax your mind and body, ones you feel relaxed calm and peaceful then try to make your partner feel good and do something which comforts both of you.
  • Compromise: Negotiation is nice.

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Principle Six – Overcome Gridlock

Principle Six – Overcome Gridlock

The author says when Dreams are respected, Couples feel happy in their relationship, And also realizes that marriage is supposed to support each other for their dreams not to manipulate the other one to not to achieve their goals, marriage is about supporting and understanding each other goals and dreams.

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Principle Seven – Create Shared Meaning

Principle Seven – Create Shared Meaning

Marriage is not only about raising children’s, splitting chores or making love but it also has a spiritual Dimension that has to do with creating inner life togetherness – A culture rich with Rituals, and the appreciation for your roles and goals that links you, that will make you understand that what it means to be a part of the family you have become.

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5 Magic Hours Activities

5 Magic Hours Activities

  • Parting: Author says before saying bye for office you need to find out one thing which is happening in the partner’s life that day.
  • Reunions: Here you need to have stress-reducing conversation daily at the end of the day.
  • Admiration and appreciation: need to find out a reason every day to show your affection and appreciation towards your spouse.
  • Affection: Kiss, hold hands, hug when you both are together.
  • Weekly date: This could be a relaxing low-pressure way to stay connected. Go out for a date, stay connected talk about each other problems etc.

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JOHN GOTTMAN

“Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for the enjoyment of each other’s company”

JOHN GOTTMAN

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CURATED BY

prince_rahul

“I am just a child who has never grown up. I still keep asking these 'HOW' and 'WHY' questions. Occasionally, I find an answer.” — Stephen Hawking

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