Why Loners Love Being Alone & Why Being Forced to Socialize Makes Many of Us Unhappy - Deepstash

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Being with others only makes us happy if we do it by choice; when choice is taken away, whether we are social butterflies or lone-wolfs, extraverts or introverts, matters little to our happiness; togetherness and aloneness can make us equally unhappy. Let’s choose what we need to be happy.

PSYCHOLOGYTODAY

Why Loners Love Being Alone & Why Being Forced to Socialize Makes Many of Us Unhappy

Why Loners Love Being Alone & Why Being Forced to Socialize Makes Many of Us Unhappy

psychologytoday.com

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The original MSS, published in 2006 by Cara Nicol, was a 56-item questionnaire designed to measure varying degrees of "self-determined solitude" (SDS) and "not self-determined solitude" (NSDS) on a four-point scale.The prompt question for MSS survey takers: "When I spend time alone, I do ...

  1. It sparks my creativity.
  2. I enjoy the quiet.
  3. Being alone helps me get in touch with my spirituality.
  4. It helps me stay in touch with my feelings.
  5. I value the privacy.
  6. I can engage in activities that really interest me.
  7. It helps me gain insight ...

  1. It sparks my creativity.
  2. I enjoy the quiet.
  3. Being alone helps me get in touch with my spirituality.
  4. It helps me stay in touch with my feelings.
  5. I value the privacy.
  6. I can engage in activities that really interest me.
  7. It helps me gain insight ...

  1. I feel anxious when I'm with others.
  2. I don't feel liked when I'm with others.
  3. I can't be myself around others.
  4. I regret things I say or do when I'm with others.
  5. I feel uncomfortable when I'm with others.
  6. I feel like I don't belong when I'm with others....

The researchers found that people who choose to spend time alone for mostly positive, "self-determined" reasons are at a much lower risk of viewing solitude as “social isolation” or suffering the negative consequences associated with feelings of loneliness than th...

When it comes to motivations for seeking solitude, the key factors in the equation are choice and an individual's positive or negative motivation for wanting to be alone. Those who choose to be "let alone" probably know what’s best for their psychologic...

Depending on someone’s reasons for wanting to be alone, the Motivation for Solitude Scale (MSS) shows that alone time can have countless potential upsides. Seeking solitude is not necessarily a red flag that something is wrong. According to the researchers, choosing solitude can help peop...

Virginia Thomas, currently an assistant professor of psychology, conducted this research when she was a graduate student. "We got clear results that are pretty reliable indicators of adaptive versus maladaptive solitude," she said in a statement. "These results increase our aware...

"Solitude serves the same positive functions in introverts and extroverts. Introverts just need more of it," Thomas said. "Our culture is pretty biased toward exyroversion. When we see any sign of shyness or introversion in children, we worry they won't be popular. But we overloo...

"Solitude has gotten a lot of bad press, especially for adolescents who get labeled as social misfits or lonely," senior author Margarita Azmitia, professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz, said in a statement. "There's a stigma for kids who spend time alone. The...

Recently published research (Uziel & Schmidt-Barad, 2022) highlights how being able to choose when we spend time with others or spend time alone increases happiness. On the flip side, being forced to socialize or not being able to choose "self-determined solitude" makes p...

During the 10-day study that mimicked real-life social dynamics, participants were exposed to 4 different settings: 1) choosing to be alone, 2) choosing to be with others, 3) forced (no choice) time with others, and 4) forced (no choice) alone time

Notably, the re...

Although this study didn't look at the impact of mandated Covid-19 lockdowns, one could speculate that the loss of choice made it harder for even the most gregarious and extraverted among us to enjoy being surrounded by housemates or family members 24/7.

Stay-at-ho...

"In terms of our momentary experiences, sensing that we are in the company of others by choice is associated with the greatest boost to our well-being, sense of meaning, and control," Liad Uziel and Tomer Schmidt-Barad write in their paper's abstract.

"Aloneness (by...

GRETA GARBO

I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be let alone!’ There is all the difference.”

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