Regret Something You Said (or Didn’t Say)? What to Do About It
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How often did you not say what you needed to, only to replay the conversation that could’ve been? The love you could’ve shown. The bold conversation you could’ve had. And all you’re left with is the agony of “if only.”
“If only I’d spoken up.”
“If only I’d stayed quiet.”
“If only I had said it differently.”
There was an underlying shame that accompanied my “mistakes,” real or perceived, and the only way out was to raise the bar even higher for myself. Desperate attempts to please or prove myself in other ways. Constant vigilance for criticism or disapproval.
When you speak to yourself with kindness and understanding, you actually build the courage and conscious awareness to take corrective action where needed.
Practice: Breathe into the emotions with understanding and talk to yourself with kindness. It may not feel authentic initially, but practice is key!
The way we show up as our best selves is to listen to the message the emotion is trying to convey.
Practice: Create distance from your emotion and listen to the message it’s trying to convey. Say: “I see you, Shame. How can I help you?”
Now that you’ve navigated the emotion(s) with compassion and curiosity, you’re ready to decide on the right thing to do.
Unlike action that’s underpinned by fear or shame, conscious action is pro-social by nature because it’s aligned with your values and leads to feelings of goodness and mastery, both essential for authentic self-worth.
You may realize that you can safely let go of the thought and move on. You may realize that you need to meet the other person to clarify what you said—or to apologize.
Practice: Ask yourself, “What would the best version of me do right now?” Check in with yourself whether the action is aligned with who you want to be. And then act on it!
Have an awesome day!😊
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An aspiring Doctor striving towards the path of righteousness.⚕🦷 Check out my latest music release on spotify!⬇️
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