10 IDEAS
4.66K reads
How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
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"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat"
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I learned from this book the value of good communication with others and the best way to communicate for maximal success in relationships, happiness, business, and life overall
I practiced these ideas until they became second nature and they have to proved to be very useful in many aspects of my life
I will share the fundamental principles so people can better apply them to their lives
Stash the Ideas that have the greatest impact on you and write them down where you can see them so you won't forget to apply them in your everyday life
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- Don't Criticise, condemn or complain - We learn faster and retain knowledge better when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior
- Give honest and sincere appreciation - People need to feel appreciated. Sincere appreciation of someone will be remembered long after your interaction with them
- Arouse in the other person an eager want - To influence someone you need to talk about what they want and then show them how they can get it
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- Become genuinely interested in other people-Interest in others will allow you to make real friends
- Smile-Your smile is a show of light and happiness in the world. Everyone likes someone who smiles
- A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language - Use (and remember) names!
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves - Listening intently, makes you a better conversationalist
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests-People love talking about themselves
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely - Our importance is essential
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- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
- Begin in a friendly way
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
- Appeal to the nobler motives
- Dramatize your ideas
- Throwdown a challenge
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- Begin with praise and honest appreciation
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
- Let the other person save face
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
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- We crave acceptance
- Communicating and connecting with others is a skill that can be trained and improved
- Have humility. Some of these principles may go against your own. To improve, you need to have the humility to look at them objectively and test them for yourself
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"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”
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"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane" -Marcus Aurelius
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