Emotional Intelligence 2.0 - Book Summary

Definition: Understanding one’s own emotions and being aware of how these emotions can impact thoughts, decisions, and ultimately actions.

It forms the foundation of emotional intelligence, allowing individuals to recognize and comprehend their emotional responses.

1. Quit treating your feelings as good or bad
2. Observe the ripple effect from your emotions
3. Lean into your discomfort
4. Feel your emotions physically 
5. Know who and what pushes your buttons 
6. Watch yourself like a hawk… 
7. Keep a journal about your emotions 
8. Don’t be fooled by a bad mood 
9. Don’t be fooled by a good mood, either 
10. Stop and ask yourself why you do the things you do 
11. Visit your values 
12. Check yourself 
13. Spot your emotions in books, movies, and music 
14. Seek feedback 
15. Get to know yourself under stress 

Definition: Effectively managing and controlling one’s own emotions, impulses, and behaviors.

Self-management involves handling stress, remaining adaptable, and maintaining a positive outlook. It enables individuals to respond to challenging situations with composure.

1. Breathe right 
2. Create an emotion vs. reason list 
3. Make your goals public 
4. Count to ten 
5. Sleep on it 
6. Talk to a skilled Self-Manager 
7. Smile and laugh more 
8. Set aside some time in your day for problem-solving 
9. Take control of your self-talk 
10. Visualize yourself succeeding 
11. Clean up your sleep hygiene
12. Focus your attention on your freedoms, rather than your limitations 
13. Stay synchronized 
14. Speak to someone who is not emotionally invested in your problem 
15. Learn a valuable lesson from everyone you encounter 
16. Put a mental recharge into your schedule 
17. Accept that change is just around the corner 

Definition: Recognizing and understanding the emotions of others by being attuned to their verbal and non-verbal cues.

Social awareness fosters empathy and enables individuals to navigate social dynamics effectively. It involves perceiving the emotions of others and responding appropriately.

1. Greet people by name 
2. Watch body language 
3. Make timing everything 
4. Develop a back-pocket question 
5. Don’t take notes at meetings 
6. Plan ahead for social gatherings 
7. Clear away the clutter 
8. Live in the moment
9. Go on a 15-minute tour 
10. Watch EQ at the movies 
11. Practice the art of listening 
12. Go people watching 
13. Understand the rules of the culture game 
14. Test for accuracy 
15. Step into their shoes 
16. Seek the whole picture 
17. Catch the mood of the room

Definition: Building and maintaining positive relationships by effectively managing interpersonal interactions.

Relationship management involves communication, conflict resolution, and teamwork. It focuses on leveraging emotional intelligence to foster healthy and productive relationships in both personal and professional settings.

1. Be open and be curious 
2. Enhance your natural communication style 
3. Avoid giving mixed signals 
4. Remember the little things that pack a punch 
5. Take feedback well 
6. Build trust 
7. Have an “open-door” policy 
8. Only get mad on purpose 
9. Don’t avoid the inevitable 
10. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings 
11. Complement the person’s emotions or situation 
12. When you care, show it 
13. Explain your decisions, don’t just make them 
14. Make your feedback direct and construct
15. Align your intention with your impact 
16. Offer a “fix-it” statement during a broken conversation 
17. Tackle a tough conversation 

• EQ scores increased between 2003 and 2007
• EQ is a learned skill
• EQ scores dropped between 2007 and 2008 (recession in the US)
• EQ can also be unlearned
• Men and women relatively tie in social awareness scores
• Men have overtaken women in self-awareness over time
• Women are better than men in social awareness and relationship management
• CEOs, on average, have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace