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5 Powerful Ways to Outsmart Your Insecurities
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Find the root cause
Insecurities are rooted in our experiences. They may start as far back as childhood.
Finding the root cause of your insecurities is a great first step in outsmarting them.
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Separate illusion from reality
Everybody struggles with insecurities, to some degree.
Some people are more prone to insecurity than others, and some have learned to successfully overcome them, but insecurity is real and it...
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Face your insecurities
Face your insecurities in order to defeat them. Analyze your internal dialogue and the way you speak to yourself.
This way, you will diminish the false power you have given to you...
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Respond, don't react
When you react to a feeling of insecurity you are giving your power away, but when you respond, you stay in control.
Learn to neutralize your reactions and engage in different respon...
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Control your triggers
If you're triggered by something, in others or in yourself, try learning a different association.
If you can see your triggers as something that should make you curious instead of caut...
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5
Key Ideas
Reappraising Conversations
5: Confirmation of an emotion’s legi...
Don’t Be Self-Centered
It’s key to connecting with people to suspend your ego; to put your own needs, wants and opinions aside. Anxiety does the opposite bringing your feelings and expectations to the forefront.
Focus on the other person. Simply listen to what they have to say and ask them to tell you more.
Reappraisal
Just because you feel it doesn’t make it real. Feelings come from beliefs. Change the beliefs and feelings will change.
Research and anecdotal evidence show that the simple act of positively reimagining something can be enough to decrease anxiety.
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Key Ideas
Understand your attachment style
We come out of our family of origin with a blueprint of how we attach to others. The closer someone is to another person, the greater the likelihood that their attachment style can becom...
Identify your triggers
Journal about the experiences in your relationship that trigger behaviors you experience as self-sabotaging. Ask yourself: What was happening? What did you feel at the time? What were you afraid of? How likely is it that the outcome you feared would happen?
Having an awareness of what triggers these behaviors can prepare us for the inevitable conflicts that arise.
Be mindful of your behavior
Insecurity in relationships is inevitable because everybody has issues to work on.
It’s critical to know what yours are. With this insight, a person can then stop negative behaviors, learn to tolerate the discomfort, and engage in alternative and more healthy behavior.
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Key Ideas
Sabotaging behaviors
- You are controlling and rigid in the way that others should treat you and are easily disappointed.
- You have issues with real intimacy.
- You tell yoursel...
Examine your history
This goes back to your childhood.
For example: if you’re drawn to the excitement of meeting and starting a relationship with someone who has a lack of morals, character and is untrustworthy, try to find out about how your parents’ unhealthy habits have affected your choice in partners.
You are part of the problem
If you have a fear of abandonment and rejection and you are constantly ‘setting’ up scenarios that lead to your disappointment, you are the puppeteer controlling this.