4 Habits That Can Help You Become a Great Conversationalist

To become a memorable conversationist, read wide — inform yourself on a variety of topics. Or better still become a life-long learner.

Lifelong learning is the “ongoing and self-motivated” pursuit of knowledge for either personal or professional reasons.

The most successful and charismatic people don’t stop learning. They read a lot — they continually expand their knowledge despite what they already know or have achieved.

The more you know, the more topics you can bring up in your conversations. Inform yourself on a variety of topics from world affairs to business and culture. Explore diverse subjects that interest you and have an open perspective on the world, life and people.

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”

In ordinary conversation, adjustments are easily overlooked. Great conversationalists possess a heightened sense of awareness.

They can “read the room” or adjust their topics depending on the cues they pick up from others. For engaging conversations, look out for different body postures, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements and adapt accordingly.

Smiling, making eye contact, and leaning in towards the person you are talking to are a few things you can use to make a conversation memorable.

You can use conversations to learn and have fun. Seek first to understand and connect.

If someone says something you don’t agree with, find out why they think that way instead of trying to convince them of your own ideas and philosophies.

“Gather all the information you can before jumping to conclusions about someone, or a situation. Often, misunderstandings occur between people when they do not seek to clarify and understand the others experience,” says Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC

It’s okay to say you don’t agree — aim to learn more about why they think that way. Also, try to remember that the point of many ordinary conversations is to get to know the other person better. Avoid judging others and always aim to respect different points of view.

Becoming a good conversationist is a process — it takes time. It’s important to practice as much as possible. Work on being a better listener, developing your knowledge and fostering a positive atmosphere. As your confidence improves, you begin to feel more relaxed.