How To Win Friends and Influence People - Deepstash
How To Be Effortlessly Charismatic

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How to build confidence

How to connect with people on a deeper level

How to create a positive first impression

How To Be Effortlessly Charismatic

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9 mins to read

Try not to criticise

It is common for everyone to make mistakes, and when someone does something wrong, it is not productive to criticize them directly. Criticizing can make them feel inferior and defensive, leading to justification of their actions. Instead, it is better to show forgiveness and, if necessary, address the mistake indirectly rather than directly.


24.3K reads

The Desire to be Great

Sigmund Freud, a renowned psychologist who explored the human psyche and subconsciousness, posited that all human actions can be traced back to two fundamental motivations: the sex drive and the desire to be great.

For some individuals, the need for validation is so strong that a simple compliment can be enough to forge a new friendship.


21.4K reads

The hidden Power of Names

The hidden Power of Names

It's important to recognize that a person's name is a significant part of their identity and hearing it can make them feel better. So Remembering someone's name can make them feel valued and appreciated.

Make an effort to remember the names of people you meet and use their name when addressing them. This demonstrates that you care about them and can help create a deeper connection. By doing so, you are not only acknowledging their name, but also acknowledging their importance as an individual.


17.4K reads

If you want enemies, excel your friends. But if you want friends, let your friends excel you.



20.8K reads

Show your Interest

It's important to remember that the person you're speaking with is fascinating in their own unique way, and it's up to you to discover why.

When you express genuine interest in someone, you make them feel valued and appreciated. Everyone wants to feel important and appreciated, and we tend to gravitate towards people who make us feel this way. Therefore, the best way to capture someone's attention is to show a genuine interest in them.

By taking the time to listen, ask questions and engage with the person you're speaking with, you create a deeper connection and show that you truly care.


15K reads

You can make more friends in a month by being genuinely interested in other people, than in a year by trying to make other people interested in you.



16.4K reads

Never interrupt. Listen carefully.

Never interrupt. Listen carefully.

One crucial principle to keep in mind when conversing with others is to never interrupt them, even if you disagree with what they're saying.

In conversation, we may want to persuade others to see our perspective, and interrupting them is a common tactic to make our point. However, interrupting sends the message that we don't value their input.

It's essential to actively listen and try to understand the other person's viewpoint. By doing so, we demonstrate that we value their thoughts and feelings.


12.2K reads



Smiling may seem like a simple gesture, but its impact is enormous. When you smile, you communicate to others that you are happy to see them. People are drawn to those who exude positivity and warmth.

If you're not in the mood to smile, make an effort to do so anyway. While actions often stem from emotions, it's also possible for emotions to stem from actions. Putting on a happy face can lead to happy feelings. Give it a try and see how it affects your mood and interactions with others.


10.4K reads

Keep calm and patient

Keep calm and patient

When something upsets us, it can be difficult to control our anger. However, it's important to remain calm and patient with others, especially during stressful situations.

Losing your temper does not demonstrate strength or assertiveness. In fact, it often has the opposite effect. Remember to remain calm, even when it's challenging. By staying composed, we can approach problems with a clearer mind and find more effective solutions for everyone involved.


11K reads

Avoid arguments as much as you can

Engaging in arguments often leads to a no-win situation. Even if you win the argument, you still lose, and the other person is likely to hold onto their opinion.

Instead of arguing, it's better to focus on finding common ground. Avoid the points of disagreement and identify the areas where you share the same view. This shift in focus towards the positive aspects of the discussion will lead to a more peaceful and harmonious exchange of ideas. By doing so, you can foster a more constructive conversation and avoid unnecessary tension or conflict.


10.8K reads

A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.



14K reads

Talk about your mistakes

If you made a mistake, speak openly and directly about it. This is not bad in any way. It shows humanity and strength to face one's mistakes. You also feel better about yourself when you can criticize yourself for it.

Always show that mistakes are easy to correct. Because in most cases they are.


12.4K reads

A note from this article's author: Don't get lost in this book

It's not the world, it will not make you socially invincible or everybody's friend. Yes, it may change how you approach social situations with others or help you overcome your social insecurities. That's okay - it helped me too. See it as a guide to be a pleasant person - to give you some insight about what people generally like and what they may not like. Far more important than learning with this book is, to reflect on it, and then actually applying what you like. Also note, that getting friends may be straightforward but forstering and maintaining the relationships is not to be neglected.


5.15K reads



Student from Germany. He/him


How To win Friends and Influence People about overcoming challenges in everyday social life and becoming a more pleasant human being for new friendships to arise.

Curious about different takes? Check out our How To Win Friends and Influence People Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.


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