11 Signs That Insecurity Is Ruining Your Life + How To Change The Pattern

You are sensitive to criticism and your feelings are hurt quickly. Sometimes, you're not sure if you even deserve to have a good career or be paid what you’re worth.

To do:

Work on healing your heart and building up your self-worth. Find activities that help you feel good about yourself. Take part in sports or other activities that build up your self-image. Practice opening your heart to accepting gifts, compliments, love, and compassion.

You immediately feel the urge to compare yourself to others. You’ll go out of your way to look for people who are smarter, kinder, better-looking, healthier, nicer, friendlier, etc.

To do:

Remove yourself from situations where you feel like you’re comparing yourself to those around you. This may mean spending less time on social media and unfollowing people who make you feel worse about yourself.

Spend less time with people who intentionally or subconsciously make you feel less than.

You focus on your mistakes, faults, and inadequacies. You imagine the worst-case scenario in every situation and expect that you’ll screw it up.

To do:

Reflect on all of your wins, both big and small. Think about all the times you got it right, solved the problem, and met the challenge at hand. Acknowledge that you’ve succeeded far more often than you’ve failed.

You don’t love looking in the mirror, and you often engage in negative self-talk when thinking about your body.

To do:

Ask yourself if this is really about what you think of your body or if it's more about what you're afraid others will think of your body. If it’s about you, ask yourself what is causing the self-hatred. Past thoughts, experiences, or negativity? Remember that your body is yours, and nobody else's.

You are embarrassed often and frequently want to hide yourself or fade to the background of social situations.

To do:

Create an image in your mind of your most empowered, positive self. Ask yourself what it’s going to take to get to that place. Take action to embrace your vulnerabilities, let go of your negative feelings, and affirm your worth. Employ all the tools available to you—from mindfulness and journaling to exercise and therapy—to help you embrace your self-worth.

Your default thought is that others don’t care for you.

To do:

Don’t make these assumptions based on your skewed view of the world. If your default assumption is that people don’t like you, explore it. Pursue those relationships. Look at the actions of others objectively and try to understand their intentions without bias.

Spend more time with people who care for you and cut ties with people who don’t.

You choose relationships where your partner is also self-sabotaging and takes their pain out on you.

To do:

If you’re drawn to relationships like this, become aware of the pattern of attraction to partners who are self-sabotaging. Know that if someone can’t love themselves, they're not going to be able to love you.

Your negativity spills out to others and you treat them poorly, even though you feel bad about it later.

To do:

Treat yourself gently. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself. Read uplifting books and surround yourself with encouraging people. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you care about. Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep. Once you treat yourself with love, respect, and kindness, you’ll start treating others the same way.