<ul><li>Researchers have found that those who watch reality dating programs have more traditional attitudes toward dating and relationships.</li><li>Reality dating shows are not meant to replace real dating programs.</li><li>It is possible that those who hold more gender stereotypical views of sex and dating are those who are more likely to seek out reality dating TV.</li><li>The goal of dating TV is not to help people find love, but rather to expose people to the fantasy of a real relationship.</li><li>A limitation to their work involves the direction of the relationship between reality dating show viewership and attitudes.</li></ul>

The Psychology Dating Shows

The messages being sent by programming depicting “real” relationships.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Reality Dating Shows

"Life is short. The less time we waste on the weather, the better."

Rather than the usual ‘what do you do for a living' or ‘where do you live’ consider a few of the following questions:<ul><li>In your professional life, what do you think is the most exciting thing?</li><li>In your personal life, what is exciting you the most at the moment?</li><li>If money wasn’t an issue, would you be doing something different?</li><li>In five years from now, what would you ideally like to be doing?</li><li>Do you have a favorite charity organization? Why do you choose them?</li><li>Who is a role model to you and why?</li><li>Who in your life has been significantly influential to you?</li></ul>

When meeting a new person

<ul><li>A large part of understanding people is not to talk but indeed the exact opposite, to shut up and listen. </li><li>You have to resist the urge to talk and you have to continue to bring the conversation back to the other person. You have to learn to genuinely listen and show active consideration and care for what the other person is saying. </li><li>Defined as active listening, it’s the act of trying to understand their position and not fixate on your own. Listening to people makes them feel valued, respected, inspired, and eager to solve problems. </li></ul>

Listening to people

<ul><li>Validation is a powerful way to diffuse anger and frustration. </li><li>Validation is taking mirroring to another level. The idea is to repeat what the other person is saying, but also to suggest some understanding of how they are feeling. One caveat to be aware of is the danger of not interpreting feelings correctly. Get it wrong and it can have a devastating effect.</li><li>﻿Validation is not necessarily agreeing, it is understanding where the other person is coming from and genuinely caring. Even if there is a disagreement, validation allows an avenue for a better resolution rather than becoming defensive.</li></ul>

Validation

”Remember that people care more about themselves than they care about you. People want to talk about themselves. Listening and letting people talk is key to winning them over in life, in business, and in all human relationships.”

There’s a simple key to networking that nobody talks about. Standing out from the crowd, you want to be noticed. In a room full of people trying to get noticed, you need a point of difference.Wear an attention-grabbing piece of clothing, something that stands out and is potentially a conversation started. Consider bright clothing or shoes, a statement scarf or tie. Something that people will notice and be encouraged to chat with you about.

Standing out from the crowd

If you really want to be influential, you want to encourage people to come up with your idea ‘all on their own’:<ul><li>Don’t use the phrase ‘I have an idea’. Subtly push the other person in the direction of your idea and the results. Don’t be explicit.</li><li>You could try explaining the opposite of what you are after. Identify the issues of this option and hopefully, the other person will find your idea as the solution.</li><li>If the other person mentions your idea, whether close to or exact, embrace it and encourage them.</li><li>You can suggest alterations to their idea when it’s not quite what you wanted. </li></ul>

Influencing people

<ul><li>If you are a manager, identify a few people that report directly to you. (If you aren’t a manager identify a few people that you influence in one way or another).</li><li>Remember a few of your favorite school teachers. How was their teaching beneficial to you and how did they affect your performance?</li><li>Reflect on your notes and try to establish a few ways that you can be a better manager/influencer by taking on some of your favorite teachers' qualities.</li></ul>

Improve your teaching ability

”These days, anyone can be a leader, whether the group you’re leading is your company, your team, your department, or your family. You can be a leader even if you have no official leadership role and are simply setting a good example for the people around you. And you can develop many leaders on your team as well.”

The key is that you need to put all people at ease, it’s not about finding a winner but finding a resolution that works for both sides. Conflict usually appears when someone is struggling to feel heard or be helped. It’s important to understand both sides and let each side state their case.Your instinct may be to try to wrap the conflict up as soon as possible. But the reality is that this won’t work. Both sides need to feel like they have been heard before they will calm down and collect themselves.

Managing conflict

”Remember, it's not all about you. Whether you’re speaking to an audience of three thousand, three hundred, thirty, or three, if your hope is to inspire them, your material and delivery have to be about them and how they can grow, not about you.”

When providing feedback, ensure that your criticism is always constructive and consider the following points:<ul><li>Don’t deliver a critique in front of other people. Don’t try to shame someone.</li><li>Have a one-on-one discussion.</li><li>Rather than just identifying issues, suggest positive solutions.</li><li>Don’t dwell on the negative.</li></ul>

Constructive criticism

People don’t like being sold to. Instead, focus on storytelling. Storytelling allows you to share about yourself and it allows people to connect with you at an emotional level.It’s not a technique, it’s more authentic.

To change people’s minds, avoid the sales pitch

What does it take to win success and influence? Some people think that in today’s hyper-competitive world, it’s the tough, take-no-prisoners type who comes out on top. But in reality, argues New York Times bestselling author Dave Kerpen, it’s actually those with the best people skills who win the day. Those who build the right relationships. Those who truly understand and connect with their colleagues, their customers, their partners. Those who can teach, lead, and inspire. In a world where we are constantly connected, and social media has become the primary way we communicate, the key to getting ahead is being the person others like, respect, and trust. Because no matter who you are or what profession you're in, success is contingent less on what you can do for yourself, but on what other people are willing to do for you. Here, through 53 bite-sized, easy-to-execute, and often counterintuitive tips, you’ll learn to master the 11 People Skills that will get you more of what you want at work, at home, and in life. For example, you’ll learn: · The single most important question you can ever ask to win attention in a meeting · The one simple key to networking that nobody talks about · How to remain top of mind for thousands of people, everyday · Why it usually pays to be the one to give the bad news · How to blow off the right people · And why, when in doubt, buy him a Bonsai A book best described as “How to Win Friends and Influence People for today’s world,” The Art of People shows how to charm and win over anyone to be more successful at work and outside of it.

communication

Communication

books

Books

What does it take to win success and influence? Some people think that in today’s hyper-competitive world, it’s the tough, take-no-prisoners type who comes out on top. But in reality, argues New York Times bestselling author Dave Kerpen, it’s actually those with the best people skills who win the day. Those who build the right relationships. Those who truly understand and connect with their colleagues, their customers, their partners. Those who can teach, lead, and inspire.   In a world where we are constantly connected, and social media has become the primary way we communicate, the key to getting ahead is being the person others like, respect, and trust. Because no matter who you are or what profession you're in, success is contingent less on what you can do for yourself, but on what other people are willing to do for you. Here, through 53 bite-sized, easy-to-execute, and often counterintuitive tips, you’ll learn to master the 11 People Skills that will get you more of what you want at work, at home, and in life. For example, you’ll learn:   ·  The single most important question you can ever ask to win attention in a meeting ·  The one simple key to networking that nobody talks about ·  How to remain top of mind for thousands of people, everyday ·  Why it usually pays to be the one to give the bad news ·  How to blow off the right people ·  And why, when in doubt, buy him a Bonsai   A book best described as “How to Win Friends and Influence People for today’s world,” The Art of People shows how to charm and win over anyone to be more successful at work and outside of it.

Dave Kerpen

The Art of People

Regrets of inaction outnumber regrets of action 2:1, and it goes up as people age. That's because "action" regrets, like marrying the wrong person, can be undone, and you can think about them in terms of "at least." For example, many people who felt they married the wrong person would say, "At least I have these great kids." With regrets of inaction, that's impossible.One big category of regrets is also boldness regrets. If only I'd taken the chance. Boldness regrets are common, but they're not the only type.

People Regret Not Taking Action

<ul><li>Foundation regrets: These are the regrets from not doing the work: not saving money for retirement, not getting a degree, not exercising, eating right, etc.</li><li>Moral regrets: Regrets in which you did the wrong thing. Bullying is an example, or choices of unkindness.</li><li>Connection regrets: "If only I'd reached out," is the telltale sign of a connection regret. It is the largest category of regrets, and they are about relationships — family, friendships, romantic and beyond.</li><li>Boldness regrets: Boldness regrets are about a chance that wasn't taken. Things like opportunities to study abroad.</li></ul>

Regrets Tend To Cluster Into Four Different Types

This is a three-part strategy: inward, outward, and forward.<ul><li>Look inward: Reframe how we think about our regrets. We speak to ourselves more cruelly than we'd speak to anyone else. Practice self-compassion.</li><li>Look outward: Practice disclosure. Sharing your emotions is a form of unburdening. We can make sense of regret through talking or writing.</li><li>Move forward: Extract a lesson from your regret. You need to create distance to help yourself process. Some ideas: Talk to yourself in the third person. Or ask yourself: what advice would I give my best friend?</li></ul>

Doing Regret Right

"Our goal should not be to minimize regret. It should be to optimize it."

"There's a reason we experience negative emotions. They're useful if we treat them right. Regret, you don't want to wallow in it. You don't want to ruminate over it. But if you think of it as a signal, as information, as a knock at the door, it is a powerfully transformative emotion."

Rather than striving for a life with no regrets, Daniel H. Pink, author of The Power of Regret, suggests embracing regret and learning from it. He outlines the four most common categories of regret and explains how looking back can help us move forward.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

How examining our regrets can make for a more meaningful life : Life Kit

Magnetism is an irresistible force. It’s hard to ignore the pull you feel naturally toward people, places and things that are magnetic.When it comes to real magnets, Opposite poles are attracted to each other. I believe that on some level that is happening in human interactions too, If someone magnets you, he is definitely not like you, otherwise you have no reason to get closer to him.While magnetism is something to cultivate, it’s not something active. This means, you aren’t likely to “achieve” magnetism. I’ve seen it consistently be the very opposite. Magnetism is something to sink into.

How To Become Magnetic

So, to keep the intro short, after years of trying every method myself, I gave you today the elements you need to seriously start developing your magnetism. Here they are -

Magnetic people have a unique presence. You can feel it as they enter the room, while they talk and while they are silent. Sometimes the quiet, full of confidence, before the speech begins, affects more than a person who tries very hard to impress.When I think about developing this ability, one word comes to mind, Practice. sure you can take courses on the subjects, however, it is also possible to develop it from viewing TED.com which contains fascinating lectures. In these lectures, it is important to pay attention to the way the lecturers speak and what they do between sentences.

1- Stage and theatrical abilities

Another way to develop this is to just go out with the intention of being magnetic and charismatic, old school practice, try being the loudest in the barbershop, the most talkative.

Usually a magnetic or charismatic person has a certain contrast that makes it difficult to understand his personality. That's partly why he is magnetic, which makes sense when you realize real magnets magnet to opposite poles, by having a unique “pole” to him, he attracts people naturally.He can also be a person who understands people intimately and yet is very distant, as Sigmund Freud was.To develop such an ability, we must develop the ability to control the words we say.

2- Be mysterious and not perfectly understood

If we know how to express ourselves accurately and do not reveal all the information directly, we can allow others to discover us gradually. Peeling the layers becomes a fascinating journey for the people who are just starting out.

The feeling that the someone has a purpose and is determined to achieve it causes people to follow him.This ability is not really one you need to “develop”, you have it in you, its a mindset problem. Decide what idea or goal you believe in, and prove to people that you do not deviate from it, at all costs.

3- Be imbued with purpose and mission


Leaders who lived by the principles they espoused, were given the status of sanctity by their congregation. We can see a good example of this in Vladimir Lenin and Mahatma Gandhi, who years after their deaths, their audience still worships them.It can not be faked, sorry. On the other hand, if we start listening to our advice and start living what we say to others, we will open up exactly that ability.

4- Make our principles sacred to us

Our eyes transmit our emotions and are often considered a window to the soul. The ability to make a stable, pleasant and confident eye contact, makes people feel magnetic and charismatic even before we have punched our mouths.In order for us to develop this ability, we would like to stop avoiding eye contact. If we decide that in the next few days, we will make pleasant eye contact (unlike that of serial killers) with people instead of bowing our gaze, we will initially get a number of confused looks and sometimes even a smile.

5- Your eyes

This is for now. I wish you a particularly fascinating and extraordinary exit in the exit from your comfort zone. After all, between us, this is the essence of your transformation into a more magnetic person.And now, I’m intrigued to hear in the comments below, what do you think?Have great week:))

Conclusion

Magnetism is an irresistible force. It's hard to ignore the pull you feel naturally toward people, places and things that are magnetic.

Magnetism is an irresistible force. It’s hard to ignore the pull you feel naturally toward people, places and things that are magnetic. When it comes to real magnets, Opposite poles are attracted to…

The number one way to get a good conversation with no lulls or cringe moments is to set an intention on why you are speaking with the person

#1 Set Intention 

Start the conversation on the right foot you can do that by walking up to them with an open body language show you want to communicate with them and you are excited. Your smile is your opening line

Start The Conversation On The Right Foot 

The first words when entering a conversation should be hey how are you. Something simple and easy to bounce off of

First Words When Entering A Conversation  

Look for the sparks in your conversation the topics that make them go Oh! And raise there eyebrows

Look For Conversation Sparks 

<ol><li>Mention a bridge a future time for example: “Hey what are you doing this weekend” would be an excellent example</li><li>then say we’ll it was great speaking with you good luck on that whatever it was</li></ol>

To End A Conversation 

Communication is very important in your career and your success 

You can make dazzling conversation with anyone, and I am going to tell you how! Using a few conversation tricks and nonverbal tips, you'll be able to add to your communication repertoire and have wonderful conversations as well as memorable first impressions. There's a science behind having a good conversation and these are great first steps to amazing conversation, but if you need help with conversation starter topics visit: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation-starters-topics/ Those are sure to spark interesting, deep, and unforgettable conversation with anyone you interact with! 😊 In this video: 00:00 Intro to the Science of Conversation 00:51 Tip #1 - Intention 01:43 Tip #2 - Approach 02:38 Tip #3 - Openers 03:32 Tip #4 - Sparks 04:49 Tip #5 - Exits 05:43 Bonus Tip - How to let people know you're open to connect? ****** Hi, I’m Vanessa! You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you. My name is Vanessa Van Edwards and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (https://www.scienceofpeople.com/captivate/) and creator of People School(https://www.scienceofpeople.com/people-school/). My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted or forgotten again. Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ ****** PS - Join the conversation on social! ☞ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vvanedwards/ ☞ Twitter: https://twitter.com/vvanedwards ☞ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vvanedwards/ #vanessavanedwards #howtotalktopeople #startaconversation #howtotalktoanyone #howtobememorable #howtohaveconversations #icebreakers

You can make dazzling conversation with anyone, and I am going to tell you how! Using a few conversation tricks and nonverbal tips, you'll be able to add to your communication repertoire and have wonderful conversations as well as memorable first impressions. 

There's a science behind having a good conversation and these are great first steps to amazing conversation, but if you need help with conversation starter topics visit: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation-starters-topics/
Those are sure to spark interesting, deep, and unforgettable conversation with anyone you interact with! 😊

In this video:
00:00 Intro to the Science of Conversation
00:51 Tip #1 - Intention
01:43 Tip #2 - Approach
02:38 Tip #3 - Openers
03:32 Tip #4 - Sparks
04:49 Tip #5 - Exits
05:43 Bonus Tip - How to let people know you're open to connect?

******
Hi, I’m Vanessa!
You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you. 
Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/

My name is Vanessa Van Edwards and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also a multi-time bestselling author of:
Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication (https://www.scienceofpeople.com/cues/) Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (https://www.scienceofpeople.com/captivate/) and I am the creator of People School. This advanced video communication course is for high achievers who want to be confident communicators.
My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted or forgotten again.
PS - Get our free 60-minute online trainings: https://www.scienceofpeople.com
+ Join the party on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vvanedwards/
******
PS - Join the conversation on social!
☞ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vvanedwards/
☞ Twitter: https://twitter.com/vvanedwards
☞ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vvanedwards/

#vanessavanedwards #howtotalktopeople #startaconversation #howtotalktoanyone #howtobememorable  #howtohaveconversations #icebreakers

Want to be more effective with people? Science of People provides science-backed, practical, social strategies to help you succeed in business, life, and love.

Our videos teach you critical social skills you need to know: from conversation to confidence to charisma.

Created by our founder, Vanessa Van Edwards, the national multi-time bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People and Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication. 

Join thousands of students in our advanced communications skills course, People School! Ask Vanessa questions, join live office hours, and level up your success by mastering your interpersonal skills. 

For speaking inquiries, please submit your information at https://www.scienceofpeople.com/speaking/.

We release new content almost daily. Check out our latest material at https://www.scienceofpeople.com/blog/.


Science of People

How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence

Have you ever happened to disconnect from reality, while your strange and incomprehensible thoughts are floating all around?That feeling when you stare at one point on the wall and you are present with your body, but with your soul and thoughts, you are somewhere completely different.How strange it is how, all of a sudden, our brains are occupied by some completely crazy thoughts, which make our brains explode.Don’t worry, it happens to everyone! Our brain is very complex and all those strange thoughts that appear out of nowhere are called random thoughts.

Background 

Random thoughts are those thoughts that appear out of nowhere and quite unexpectedly. At one point you are watching a movie or talking to a friend, while at another you have already entered another dimension trying to give yourself an answer to a completely random question.The human brain is programmed so that it cannot stop thinking. At all times, the brain works diligently and can surprise you in which direction he can go.Random thoughts often have nothing to do with a particular situation you are in. Random thoughts just appear and like a bird on a branch, land in your brain.

Random thoughts – what exactly are they?

No rules. Given that the human brain functions amazingly and that we can’t always determine what we will think about, random thoughts can appear quite by accident, when we least expect them.But, they can appear as a result of creativity or solving a certain problem. When we remove all obstacles and let our creativity live, our brain is free of all barriers and works in the craziest way possible.When we are in a certain problem, we will often think too much to find a solution to the problem. That's why, random thoughts, no matter how unnecessary they may seem, can help expand our horizons.

Why do random thoughts “attack” our brains?

1. The scream in your head will never be out of breath.2. Do fish in water have their hidden life where they go to school, hang out, study, and get married?3. If everyone had roller skates instead of feet, would there be cars or would they go rollerblading everywhere?4. We will never know what memories we had as children and we will never remember them.5. We know our parents for whole our life, while they know us only part of their lives.6. Someone was born at this very moment, and someone lost his life at this very moment.

Random Thoughts During the Shower

7. Our brain has never experienced some things, and yet it can tailor a scenario in its head as if it had happened.8. If the tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is the jam.9. If I were a book, what title would I have?10. Valentine’s Day is known for its red colour, red roses, red hearts … Would it be strange if another colour was used for Valentine’s Day instead of red? And why red? Why does red associate us with love?11. The hospital where you were born is the only building you left without entering.

12. Humans invented the sounds produced by dinosaurs.13. Maybe it’s better not to kill the spider, because if I kill him, his family and friends can come to the funeral and in that way, I will summon many more spiders.14. Who invented the words and names of certain objects and how did it occur to someone to call a chair just like that – “chair”?15. How does our voice in our head sound?

16. It is very important to have someone who lets you be what you are and nourishes your mind and your soul, not your ego.17. What would happen to us without love? We would not be beings who feel and live for love, we would be just a mere and quiet existence.18. It is better to be alone and happy in the four walls of your head than to suffer someone’s disrespect, just because you are afraid of loneliness.19. Love just happens and doesn’t ask you a question, but gives you an answer.20. Is there a destiny or is it all just a coincidence?

Random love thoughts

21. How is it possible for our heart to love so many times, break so many times for someone, and be whole again and ready to regenerate and give new love?22. Self-love is a luxury. Others will not be able to love me if I do not love me.23. Do <a href="https://ponly.com/soulmate-quiz/">soulmates exist</a> and if so, are there more than one?

24. The one who knows how to love and is not afraid to show it is more powerful than the one who pretends to be cold.25. If someone does not make me happy, it is better for me to leave than to allow someone to pluck and trample the flowers of my soul.30. You have to let some people go, to find yourself.31. How nice it would be for someone to understand all our struggles and be our armor against the deadly bullets of life.

32. Before the camera was invented, no one had seen themselves with their eyes closed. 33. How can our body feel and experience the scene when we fall off a cliff in a nightmare, if we have never fallen off a cliff before?34. What is the <a href="https://ponly.com/life-quotes/">purpose of life</a>?35. Do aliens exist and if so, do they also study and send their beings to our planet, as we go to theirs?36. What is a person? Is the person mind or body?37. Why do people hurt others if they do not want them to be hurt?

Random deep thoughts

39. <a href="https://ponly.com/what-if-questions/">What if</a> we go to a parallel universe every time we go to sleep?40. The skeleton is not in us. We are the brain. So we’re in a skeleton.41. Each person has a different image of us and tailors a version of us that we do not know.42. Children with an imaginary friend are creative, while adults with an imaginary friend are schizophrenics.

43. Because you’re blinking, you’ve never seen the whole movie in your life.44. What if you passed a missing person and you didn’t know she was missing?45. What if we passed a serial killer and he weighed us and thought – “I don’t want this.”46. Who taught the first teacher? Who cut the first hairdresser’s hair?47. When you wait for a waiter, you become a waiter.48. What if we met someone <a href="https://ponly.com/what-does-it-mean-when-you-dream-about-someone/">in a dream</a> and had the same dream, but we will never find out?

Random weird thoughts

49. We all have three voices in us. One that we hear in our head, one that we hear when we speak, and one that other people hear.50. Why can’t we invent a new color?51. The letter x is used more in mathematics than in grammar and sentences.52. Do animals think we are aliens because we don’t look like them?53. If we were called differently, would we behave like a different person?

54. Having real friends is the greatest luxury. Being a true friend is the greatest quality of a man.55. It is more valuable to have a few true friends than to be in the company of many fake people.56. Friends are the chosen family you love as well as the real family.57. A true friend accepts all your imperfections and picks up the scattered pieces of your soul.

Random friendship thoughts

58. Not all people are your friends, be careful who you trust. Someone may abuse your kindness.59. Always be a friend who will lend a hand in trouble. It’s easy to be a good friend when everything is great.60. A true friend helps you take off your mask and expose your soul.61. It is sad when the best friends from childhood separate and become strangers. 62. Your friend is your mirror. Choose friends wisely.

63. Is sand called sand because it is located between the sea and the land?64. Why is a building called a building when it has already been built?65. If you hit yourself and it hurts, are you strong or weak?66. Has anyone ever died of laughter?

Random funny thoughts

67. Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your <a href="https://ponly.com/skeleton-and-bone-puns-jokes/">skeleton</a>. 68. Do different species of animals communicate with each other, or they need a translator?69. If you try to rob a bank, you won’t have problems with bills for the next ten years, whether you succeed in the robbery or not70. What if dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside of us?

71. What if I’m not good enough?72. Loneliness may be painful, but you need to learn to feel comfortable even when you are alone with yourself.73. Why does <a href="https://ponly.com/love-quotes-and-sayings/">love</a> have to hurt? When you lose somebody, your heart breaks into a million pieces and it takes some time to assemble it. However, it will never be the same as before it broke.74. It is okay to feel empty inside. It is our soul that rests and refreshes.

Random sad thoughts

75. Being gentle and crying is not a weakness. Being gentle, fragile, and allowing yourself to cry shows just how strong you are.76. It hurts when you see that you are not as important to someone as they are to you.77. It is sad when it is difficult for you, and there is no one around you who will support you. That’s why you have to be strong and overcome everything on your own.

78. People who wear glasses look smart, but they had to fail a test to get glasses.79. If life is unfair to everyone, does that mean it is fair?80. If a word is misspelled in vocabulary, how will we know?81. How did someone cook the first dish? He mixed random ingredients and thought – “wow, this is delicious”?82. Do bugs, as soon as they are born, know that they can walk on the wall, or one day they just try and admire what they can do?

Silly random thoughts

83. Why is 77 + 33 not 100?84. First you learn to read than you read to learn.85. Butter is a food lotion.86. Bullets do their job after they’re fired.87. The two e’s in bee might be silent.

88. There is only one life, it should be used in the best way!89. Time passes too fast, create today a day to remember.87. Appreciate every moment you are in because it will become a memory.90. We cannot change the past, but we can create a beautiful present.91. Don’t wait for anything and don’t chase after anything. Everything comes when it should.92. Get out of your comfort zone. Your risk writes the most beautiful stories.

Random thoughts about life

93. So many beautiful things await you. Embrace them with a smile.94. Create your happiness and don’t let anyone take it away from you.95. Your life is only in your hands.96. Be different and stand out from the crowd. You were made for big things.97. Everything that costs you your peace is too expensive.98. When you radiate positive energy, beautiful things will happen.99. Be the difference and the bright colour in this grey world.100. Everything is possible if you believe enough.

I like this article as it questions some of the more everyday aspects of life- the ideas in bold particularly stood out to me. Maybe you have thought about these thoughts before too?

Have you ever happened to disconnect from reality, while your strange and incomprehensible thoughts are floating all around? That feeling when you stare at

history

History

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

100 Random Thoughts

“If those whom we begin to love could know us as we were before meeting them … they could perceive what they have made of us.”

Those who prefer their principles over their happiness, they refuse to be happy outside the conditions they seem to have attached to their happiness.

Physical suffering is sometimes humiliating, but the suffering of being cannot be, it is life.

French laureate, philosopher and author Albert Camus's provoking thoughts on love, happiness, unhappiness and self-imposed prisons.

Insight into the evolution of some of the Nobel Prize winner's famous works is provided through the compilation of quotations and commentaries that reveal the nature of the author's spiritual, intellectual, and moral conflicts.

From 1935 until his death, Albert Camus kept a series of notebooks to sketch out ideas for future works, record snatches of conversations and excerpts from books he was reading, and jot down his reflections on death and the horror of war, his feelings about women and loneliness and art, and his appreciations for the Algerian sun and sea. These three volumes, now available together for the first time in paperback, include all entries made from the time when Camus was still completely unknown in Europe, until he was killed in an automobile accident in 1960, at the height of his creative powers. In 1957 he had been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. A spiritual and intellectual autobiography, Camus' Notebooks are invariably more concerned with what he felt than with what he did. It is intriguing for the reader to watch him seize and develop certain themes and ideas, discard others that at first seemed promising, and explore different types of experience. Although the Notebooks may have served Camus as a practice ground, the prose is of superior quality, which makes a short spontaneous vignette or a moment of sensuous beauty quickly captured on the page a small work of art.Here is a record of one of the most unusual minds of our time.

Albert Camus (1913-1960) was a representative of non-metropolitan French literature. His origin in Algeria and his experiences there in the thirties were dominating influences in his thought and work. Of semi-proletarian parents, early attached to intellectual circles of strongly revolutionary tendencies, with a deep interest in philosophy (only chance prevented him from pursuing a university career in that field), he came to France at the age of twenty-five. The man and the times met: Camus joined the resistance movement during the occupation and after the liberation was a columnist for the newspaper Combat. But his journalistic activities had been chiefly a response to the demands of the time; in 1947 Camus retired from political journali

Albert Camus

Notebooks, 1942-1951

Notebooks 1942-1951

Empathy is feeling with people. There are four qualities of empathy:<ol><li>Perspective-taking - the ability to take the perspective of another person</li><li>Staying out of judgment </li><li>Recognising emotion in other people</li><li>Communicating back the emotion you see</li></ol>

Empathy 

Empathy is different to sympathy.  Empathy creates connection while sympathy drives connection. Empathy is climbing down to the other person's level and seeing the world from their perspective. Sympathy is viewing the person from your own perspective. An empathic response rarely starts with "At least..." to explore the "silver lining"."I had a miscarriage""At least you know you can get pregnant.""I think my marriage is falling apart.""At least you have a marriage."

Empathy vs sympathy

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities. Voice: Dr Brené Brown Animation: Katy Davis (AKA Gobblynne) www.gobblynne.com Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXSjc-pbXk4 Dr Brené Brown is a research professor and best-selling author of "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead" (Penguin Portfolio, 2013). She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Donate to the RSA: https://utm.guru/udy0u Find out more about the RSA: http://www.thersa.org Follow the RSA on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/thersaorg Like the RSA on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thersaorg

videos

Videos

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities. 

Voice: Dr Brené Brown
Animation: Katy Davis (AKA Gobblynne) www.gobblynne.com
Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson 

Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXSjc-pbXk4 

Dr Brené Brown is a research professor and best-selling author of "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead" (Penguin Portfolio, 2013).  
She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. 

Donate to the RSA: https://utm.guru/udy0u

Find out more about the RSA: http://www.thersa.org 
Follow the RSA on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/thersaorg
Like the RSA on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thersaorg

RSA YouTube: Inspiring talks. Award-winning animations.

We are the RSA. The royal society for arts, manufactures and commerce. We unite people and ideas in collective action to create opportunities to regenerate our world. 

We invite you to be part of our global network.    

Visit our website to find out more: www.theRSA.org  

Donate to the RSA: utm.guru/udy01  


Brené Brown on Empathy

Everything on earth has its own time and its own season.   Ecclesiastes 3:1.There are no shortcuts to maturity. The development of Christ like character cannot be rushed. While we worry about how fast we grow, God is concerned about how strong we grow.The bible says,"our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him."So we often get this question, why does it take so long to become like Christ?There are many reasons for this .,Because he prefers to work in incremental steps in our lives.

It Takes Time

We are slow learners.We need repeat exposure.We have a lot to unlearn.Because bad habits didn't develop overnight,it's unrealistic to expect them to go away immediately.It requires the hardwork of removal and replacement. The bible calls it "taking off the old self and putting on the new self"We are afraid to humbly face the truth about ourselves.Only as God is allowed to shine the light of his truth on our faults, failures and hangups. Can we begin to work on them?This is why you cannot grow without a humble, teachable attitude.

Reasons

There's no growth without change, No change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain.You must let go of old ways in order to experience the New.The unconscious worry is that if I let go of my habit, my hurt,or my hang-up, who will I be ? This fear can definitely slow your growth.

Growth Is Painful And Scary

There's no growth without change, No change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain.You must let go of old ways in orderHabits take time to develop:A husband who is faithful to his wife most of the time is not faithful at all.There is only one way to develop the habits of Christ like character: you must practice them and that takes time.Repetition is the mother of character and skill.These character- building habits are often called "spiritual disciplines".

Habits Take Time To Develop

Believe God is working in your life even when you don't feel it .Keep a note book or journal the lessons learned.Review and remember them and pass them onto the next generation.Reviewing your spiritual journal regularly can spare you a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache.The Bible says "It's crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we've heard so that we don't drift off".Be patient with God and with yourself.You may feel frustrated with the seemingly slow progress you're making in life.He will use your entire life time to prepare for your role in eternity.

Don't Get In A Hurry

Don't get discouraged:"These things I plan won't happen right away.slowly, steadily, surely,the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow do not despair,for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day".

Don't Get Discouraged

We're often in a hurry when God isn't when it comes to our life. Rick Warren has explained this in his book very clearly that it takes time for everything to happen.

Offers spiritual fulfillment through an understanding of God's plan for a meaningful life.

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

The author of the popular "Purpose-Driven Church" uncovers seven essentials for understanding and fulfilling one's God-given life mission. (Christian Religion)

Richard Warren

The Purpose-driven Life

<ul><li>What is life but growth, i.e. expansion, love?</li><li>Therefore, all love is life, it is the only law of life; all selfishness is death, and this is true here or hereafter.</li><li>It is life to do good, it is death not to do good to others.</li></ul>

Help vs selfishness

<ul><li>Be not afraid, my children.</li><li>Look not up in that attitude of fear towards that infinite starry vault as if it would crush you.</li><li>Wait! In a few hours more, the whole of it will be under your feet.</li><li>Wait, money does not pay, nor name; fame does not pay, nor learning.</li><li>It is love that pays; it is character that cleaves its way through adamantine walls of difficulties.</li></ul>

Love will pave the way.

Those who are men and yet have no feeling in the heart for man, well, are such to be counted as men at all?

<ul><li>Duty is seldom sweet.</li><li>It is only when love greases its wheels that it runs smoothly; it is a continuous friction otherwise.</li><li>How else could parents do their duties to their children, husbands to their wives, and vice versa?</li><li>Do we not meet with cases of friction every day in our lives? Duty is sweet only through love.</li></ul>

Duty is sweet only through love.

<ul><li>Love never fails, my son; today or tomorrow or ages after, truth will conquer.</li><li>Love shall win the victory... Believe in the omnipotent power of love.</li><li>Who cares for these tinsel puffs of name?... Have you love? -- you are omnipotent.</li><li>Are you perfectly unselfish? If so, you are irresistible.</li></ul>

Love yourself to love your work.

<ul><li>A cannon-ball flying through the air goes a long distance and falls.</li><li>Another is cut short in its flight by striking against a wall, and the impact generates intense heat.</li><li>All outgoing energy following a selfish motive is frittered away; it will not cause power to return to you; but if restrained, it will result in development of power. This self-control will tend to produce a mighty will.</li></ul>

Passion with self-control will harness great will to do work.

<ul><li>Selfishness is the chief sin, thinking of ourselves first.</li><li>He who thinks, 'I will eat first, I will have more money than others, and I will possess everything'... is the selfish man.</li><li>The unselfish man says, 'I will be last... if by doing so I can help my brothers.'</li><li>This unselfishness is the test of religion. He who has more of his unselfishness is more spiritual.</li></ul>

If your needs are met, help others, selfishness is bad philosophy.

The degree of unselfishness marks the degree of success everywhere.

<ul><li>Unselfishness is more paying, only people have not the patience to practise it.</li><li>It is more paying from the point of view of health also.</li><li>Love, truth and unselfishness are not merely moral figures of speech, but they form our highest ideal, because in them lies such a manifestation of power.</li></ul>

Unselfishness helps you more than selfishness.

Life is ever expanding, contraction is death.The self-seeking man who is looking after his personal comforts and leading a lazy life- there is no room for him even in hell.

<ul><li>He who sees Shiva in the poor, in the weak, and in the diseased, really worships Shiva;</li><li>and if he sees Shiva only in the image, his worship is but preliminary.</li><li>He who has served and helped one poor man seeing Shiva in him, without thinking of his caste, or creed, or race, or anything,</li><li>with him Shiva is more pleased than with the man who sees Him only in temples.</li></ul>

I See God in People who need help of my strength.

Do you love your fellow men? Where should you go to seek for God - are not all the poor, the miserable, the weak, Gods? Why not worship them first?

Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living. And above all, those who live without love. - Albus Dumbledore

philosophy

Philosophy

Love and Unselfishness by Vivekananda

Find 100+ Facts about Love & Relationships - Curated from trusted sources like  Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!