Trying too hard to get what you want in life—like love, respect, and happiness—often has the opposite effect: you end up lonely, dejected, and miserable. But there’s another curve, one that you’ve probably never seen or heard of before—and that’s largely because I make a lot of this shit up. That’s the inverted curve:<a href="https://markmanson.net/why-the-best-things-in-life-are-all-backwards#footnote-7">7 </a> The inverted curve is the bizarro “Twilight Zone” curve, where effort and reward have a negative correlation—that is, the more effort you put into doing something, the more you will fail to do it.

Diminishing returns

The goal is to take your mind—a wonderful thing that has spent its life learning to <a href="https://markmanson.net/your-two-minds">chase various creatures </a>—and teach it to stop chasing <a href="https://markmanson.net/the-meaning-of-life">meaning </a>and <a href="https://markmanson.net/real-cost-of-freedom">freedom </a>and <a href="https://markmanson.net/how-to-be-happy">happiness </a>because those only serve to move it further away from itself. To teach it to achieve what it desires by giving up what it desires.

The goal is to take your mind—a wonderful thing that has spent its life learning to <a href="https://markmanson.net/your-two-minds">chase various creatures </a>—and teach it to stop chasing its own tail. To stop chasing <a href="https://markmanson.net/the-meaning-of-life">meaning </a>and <a href="https://markmanson.net/real-cost-of-freedom">freedom </a>and <a href="https://markmanson.net/how-to-be-happy">happiness </a>because those only serve to move it further away from itself. To teach it to achieve what it desires by giving up what it desires. To show it how the only way to reach the surface is to let itself sink.And how do we do this? <a href="https://markmanson.net/how-to-let-go">By letting go </a>. By giving up. By surrendering. Not out of weakness. But out of a respect that the world is beyond our grasp.

And how do we do this? By letting go . By giving up. By surrendering. Not out of weakness. But out of a respect that the world is beyond our grasp. By recognizing that we are fragile and limited and but temporary specks in the infinite reaches of time. You do it by relinquishing control, not because you feel powerless, but because you are powerful. Because you decide to let go of things that are beyond your control. You decide to accept that sometimes, people won’t like you, that often you will fail, that usually you have no fucking clue what you’re doing.

Do read this complete link! The best thing I read in recent times.

Trying too hard to get what you want in life—like love, respect, and happiness—often has the opposite effect: you end up lonely, dejected, and miserable. Here's why.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards

Since the start of the pandemic, mental health has declined for many Americans, with more individuals reporting mental illness since 2019. 
Those diagnosed with mental illness have disproportionately faced economic disadvantages and report greater financial stress. Affordability barriers are compounding these challenges by limiting mental health access for many in need.

The Decline In Mental Health

<ul><li>More respondents are seeking psychotherapy, behavioural health help, and treatment at an ER for mental health needs.</li><li>Respondents said they have greater fears around keeping their housing, especially if they have children.</li><li>Respondents reporting mental illness were on average 66 percent more likely to report debt across all categories.</li><li>Those who report having a mental health condition but have not sought treatment are 60 percent more likely to declare mental health services unaffordable.</li><li>Those reporting having a mental illness said they were less likely to pursue education or additional training.</li></ul>

McKinsey Survey Findings

The lower sense of financial security reported by those with mental illness underscores the importance of holistic care for behavioral health—not just treating mental illness symptoms but considering the broader needs an individual with mental illness may have. 
<a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/healthcare-systems-and-services/our-insights/a-holistic-approach-to-addressing-the-us-behavioral-health-crisis-in-the-face-of-the-global-covid-19-pandemic">Holistic approaches</a>, such as supportive housing and supportive employment, can improve outcomes across both healthcare and broader functioning in society

Financial Security

Twenty percent of respondents who report mental illness disclose not being on track to meet short-term financial obligations (such as rent/mortgage, groceries, transportation) compared with 12 percent of respondents who did not report mental illness. 
The disparity worsens when considering long-term financial goals with a 14 percentage point difference in respondents with mental illness reporting they feel off track.

The Money Factor

Respondents who report mental illness were on average 66 percent more likely to report debt across all categories than respondents who did not report mental illness.
An association exists between mental illness and higher levels of debt and debt-related stress. This association may arise from initial debt leading to stress and triggering an underlying susceptibility for mental illness.

Mental Illness And Debt

Mental health services and childcare were listed by respondents as the least affordable among essential services (for example, nutritious food, internet, health insurance, reliable transportation). 
Respondents who report mental illness were two times more likely to perceive mental health services as unaffordable. Other studies have indicated that consumers are up to 40 percent less willing to pay for mental health services than services for generic physical health conditions.

Unaffordability Of Mental Health Services

Those who report having a mental health condition but have not sought treatment for it are 60 percent more likely to declare mental health services unaffordable. 
This holds true when controlling for reported household income, as those who reported mental illness but have not sought treatment were still approximately 1.7 times more likely to report mental health services were unaffordable on average.

The Main Barrier

A study published by Mental Health America found nearly nine in ten employees report that workplace stress affects their mental health, and that nearly three in five employees feel their employer does not provide a safe environment for employees who live with mental illness, demonstrating the workplace could be a challenging setting.

Impact On Work And Education

Easy to implement strategies to revamp work practices in ways that benefit employees’ health

health

Health

productivity

Productivity

timemanagement

Time Management

Wellbeing at Work

How affordable is mental healthcare? The long-term impact on financial health

Poor mental health can impact individuals, employers, and societies. Mental health conditions can cause individuals to miss ten to 12 workdays per year and suffer 14 to 18 days of reduced productivity. Many companies think taking action on workplace mental health means setting up programmes that are owned by human resources (HR). However, this approach is insufficient to create real, sustainable change. Five core principles can help leaders create a more mentally healthy workplace.

The impact of poor mental health

Core risk factors include high levels of role stress or a lack of support or flexibility. For example:<ul><li>Community building. Bringing together people across roles and levels to help build organisational cohesion.</li><li>Enhanced flexibility. Ensuring flexible work hours for parents, such as additional paid and unpaid time off, reduced hours, changed work patterns.</li><li>Workload monitoring and dynamic rebalancing. It can be informal or low-tech, such as team stand-ups with work for the day or system monitoring to spot activity spikes.</li></ul>

Design workplaces to minimise harm

Effective programmes focus on psychological safety and broad-based mental health awareness. For example:<ul><li>Mental health promotion. Leaders publically share their commitment to supporting and improving mental health through storytelling.</li><li>Supported boundary setting. </li><li>Leader capability. Providing access to mental health training.</li></ul>

Building organisational resilience

Employers provide stress-management programmes built around cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). It aims to change misconceptions and assumptions and teach new skills for handling stressful situations. For example:<ul><li>Resilience training. Companies distribute workbooks containing a series of resilience challenges.</li><li>Mindfulness programmes.</li><li>Physical activity. Organisations use virtual physical challenges for individuals and groups.</li></ul>

Building individual resilience

Organisations create a strong awareness of the signs of mental ill-health, appropriate services, and a culture that encourages asking for help. For example:<ul><li>Tailored mental health awareness. Creating multichannel communications that focus on the experiences of working parents and advice and details on support resources.</li><li>Mental health-focused events. Organisations share stories, build awareness and reduce stigma.</li><li>Expanded employee assistance programmes (EAPs). Organisations expand access to preexisting programmes that include family members of employees, or small-business suppliers or customers.</li></ul>

Facilitating early help-seeking

Organisations may expect employees with mental health issues to make a full recovery before returning to work. This approach is often misguided as returning to work is often important to the recovery process. Changes to the workplace may be necessary. <ul><li>Direct access to psychological support. </li><li>Increased leave. Employers can offer five days of additional "pandemic leave" on a no-questions-asked basis.</li></ul>

Supporting recovery and return to work

<ul><li>Understand the factors that contribute to mental health conditions, such as a low level of support provided in completing work, an imbalance between effort and reward, and a low level of autonomy.</li><li>Holistically consider the entire operating model and cultural system. Consider the people, process, structure and culture.</li><li>Use data to personalise interventions. People experience the workplace differently. Each one will face different stressors and challenges.</li><li>Co-design solutions with your employees. </li><li>Solve with your community. Look beyond the workplace and engage with your communities.</li></ul>

Principles to sustainably improve workplace mental health

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

Out of the shadows: Sustainably improving workplace mental health

Once you've acknowledged your concern, pinpointing the source of the worry might assist you in dealing with the issue at hand. Understanding the problem might help you solve it. Stress, when used as a signal, can inspire you to control what you can. Taking action to address a component of the problem will help you minimize your symptoms. You see, when we worry or spend too much time thinking about something, our thoughts become strained.

Control what you can and let go

So how would we manage our overthinking and negative thoughts? It is claimed that the individual who has mastery over his or her mind and ideas has mastery over the world. Any hurdle may be conquered if a person has control over his thinking. A free and serene mind also guarantees that you are as productive as possible. Controlling one's mind is a difficult endeavor, but it is possible with adequate mental training and practice. Yoga and meditation regularly assist to prevent overthinking to a considerable extent.

Thoughts under control

Too much thinking leads to self-doubt. You begin to doubt your first conclusion, your ambitions, your prejudice, your dependability, and so on.In the end, you lose touch with yourself and your confidence in your abilities. Something that was once a firm conclusion has now left you wondering everything about yourself. Self-care is the active practice of recognizing and caring for one's own needs. Self-care involves behaviors that improve your overall well-being. This might involve things like eating nutritious foods, being active, and getting enough rest.

Self-Care

It would motivate me for work I have done by clicking on it

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Live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive.

What’s up, it’s @hackedongrowth here, Words have tremendous power. Your ideas manifest into your reality. The brain is the soul's temple. What is in a person's thoughts may shape their personality. Yet, we have a tendency to overthink at times, which has an impact on our day-to-day actions. Overthinking, or thinking too much, is precisely what it means. Overthinking occurs when you analyze too much instead of acting and doing things. This is referred to as overthinking.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

Overthinking and How to Get Rid of It (2022)

“Research has found that <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/08/140808111931.htm">about 40% of everyday life is shaped by habits </a>,” says Gretchen Rubin, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Four-Tendencies-Indispensable-Personality-Profiles/dp/1524760919?tag=wwwfccom-20">The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too) </a>and creator of the <a href="https://gretchenrubin.com/2021/11/announcing-the-happier-app/">Happier app </a>, which helps users track and stick to habits by tapping into personalized motivation techniques. “If you have habits that work for you, you’re much more likely to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. And if you have habits that don’t work for you, it’s much harder.

One habit that you may need to break is recognizing that you can’t control what’s going to happen with the pandemic, says Ethan Kross, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Chatter-Voice-Head-Matters-Harness/dp/0525575235?tag=wwwfccom-20">Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It</a>.“There are lots of things that we can do to be safer and to live productive, satisfying lives, even in the current climate, but there are some things that are just out of our control. The moment we recognize that, we can minimize the chatter surrounding the pandemic and move forward.”

Spending Mental Energy on Things You Can’t Control

Another mindset you may have adopted during the pandemic is buying into limiting beliefs that may be holding you back, says Kindra Hall, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Choose-Your-Story-Change-Life/dp/1400228409?tag=wwwfccom-20">Choose Your Story, Change Your Life: Silence Your Inner Critic and Rewrite Your Life from the Inside Out </a>.“It’s those statements like, ‘Oh, I just can’t do this, or ‘What’s the point?'” she says. “It’s stories that are reeling around in the background that keep us from taking action.”Limiting beliefs may be due to past measures of success.Instead, Hall suggests redefining what success looks.

Measuring Success by Old Standards

Just when you got used to remote working, many employers are calling back teams to office or hybrid arrangements. This can be a big disruptor to the habits you’ve adopted, good or bad.“So many habits were disrupted during the pandemic, but what’s interesting is that some people have introduced positive habits, such as eating more healthfully because they’re cooking more or doing morning meditations because they’re not commuting,” says Rubin.

Not Planning for the Next Normal

It’s not too late to make a few more New Year’s resolutions.


habits

Habits

3 pandemic habits to drop in 2022

FOMO, the “fear of missing out,” refers to the feeling of “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere.”

What Is FOMO?

Rate yourself from one to 5 with honesty.“I get worried when I find out my friends are having fun without me.”

How Do You Know You have The "FOMO"?

JOMO: The joy of missing out.Steps:<ul><li>Relish feeling out of the loop. Great things are indeed happening out there and sometimes you’re not invited. Admit that you are missing out and there’s nothing you can do about it. </li><li>Take a hiatus from social media.</li><li>Use software to avoid succumbing to FOMO. Apps such as Forest for iOS, Space for Android, RescueTime for Windows, or SelfControl for Mac generate reports to help users see just how much time they spend online and set time limits.</li><li>Reduce social media use when you are away from the computer.</li><li>Get a digital detox.</li></ul>

How To Covert FOMO TO JOMO

We've all experienced this feeling at some point in our lives, FOMO or the fear of missing out. But how can we convert FOMO to JOMO or the joy of missing out? 

FOMO refers to the feeling of “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere.” Here's how to beat it.

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Getting Over FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out

Stay commited to your decision . But stay flexible in your approach .Atleast read end paragraphs

Chapter -1 Charles Bukoski was an alcoholic, a lout , womanizer , cheapskate ,a deadstick and on his worst days a poet . He is probably the last person you would ever look for a life advice .That's why he is the perfect man to start with...

Don't Try 

Charles wanted to be a writer but for decades his work has been rejected by almost every publisher, jounral, newseditor . Deprave, disgust they said .As the piles of failure stacks upon, the burden pushed him into an alcohol fuelled depression which will follow him for rest of his lif e.A small independent newseditor took a strange intrest in him and wanted him to give a chance . Charles knew that it was hisfirst and last real shot ......Charles made out as a best publisher writing 6 fucking novels and more than 200 poems .

Backstory 

of his own . Feeling motivated 😊. But that's the problem .Because his EPtiah reads - DON'T TRYA story which embodies an American dream .A man fights for his dreams , struggles and ultimately achieve his wildest fantasy .

His Success Defied Everyones' Expectations Particularly 

Despite the fact of the numbers he sold and fame he earned , he was a loser and he knew he was a loser . His success didn't stemmed out with the will to be an outshining literary star and to defy the odds but with his comfort of being a loser He worked hard and published openly about being a loser .

Reason 

Our society is obsessively focused on forced unrealistic positive expectations .be happier, be healthier,be best better than the rest . Be envied ,more admired and crap out twelve nuggets of gold before going to your willingly wonderful job .but when you Really stop thinking about this conventional life advice , it is which fixating you on the things you lack ask yourself a question , how many times gave you seen someone sad or living a normal life on instagram or Facebook .Man fuck this metallistic world yo enjoy this fucking life .............

Problem With Society Or With You

They help me to live my life out with comfort .

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 1 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

books

Books

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Researchers acknowledge the consequences of negative emotions and the benefits of positive emotions on our physical and mental wellbeing. Studies in positive psychology prove that people who react in a positive manner in the workplace have stronger relationships, greater psychological safety, and enhanced learning, creativity and motivation. 
Ultimately, employee and organizational performance improves when positive emotions (i.e., optimism, gratitude) are more prevalent.

Being Positive

Positivity was never meant to exclude the experience of negative emotions. Toxic positivity is defined as the denial, suppression or _ignoring _of negative emotions. 
It’s happiness at all costs and the belief that our interactions with family, friends, and coworkers must exclude anything that doesn’t feel positive.

Toxic Positivity

It’s difficult to divulge how we are feeling in an honest way, especially when we feel pressured to confess an unpleasant emotion to our coworkers. Maybe we view this reaction as a sign of weaknesses or vulnerability, or maybe we are in denial about our true feelings. So, we put on a happy face and turn it towards the world, all while churning inside with anger, fear, shame, sadness or disgust.

Emotional Complexity

When we suppress negative emotions, we fail to give ourselves or others a chance to grapple with them. The more we can improve expressing and receiving emotional responses, the more we can authentically share our positive and negative feelings in a healthy way. Managing emotions comes from building emotional intelligence (EI). It’s a skill that is honed over a lifetime. One <a href="https://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/AL(2007).pdf">study</a> found that the mere act of labeling our feelings (a common EI technique) helps us release them.

The Role Of Emotional Intelligence

The perspective we take is that some emotions are good, and others are bad. We convince ourselves that that if we can avoid the bad feelings and force the good feelings, everything will just fall into place. Actually, emotions are neutral. We label some of our emotions negative because they are hard for us to process, they feel unpleasant, and they require a great deal of our energy.

The Value Of Negative Emotions

Cultivating a growth mindset starts with believing that we can change and grow over time to be better. Use this strategy to acknowledge that, in this moment, you are sad, angry, or fearful, but that you will work through it and come out better for it.
It is an internal dialogue that says, “I have dealt with hard things before, and I will again.” The difference between this mindset and toxic positivity is that you do not deny the negative, you just embrace a paradigm that allows you to feel the emotion and move through it.

Cultivating A Growth Mindset

If we want to allow for a better expression of emotion, we need to move beyond basic questions such as, “How are you?”, “Are you ok?” or “What’s wrong?” While these are common phrases, they don’t allow people to express what they are truly feeling. Consider the following alternatives:<ul><li>It seems you are (angry), what happened that led you to feel that way?</li><li>Tell me more about what is going on for you right now?</li><li>This project will bring up a lot of unknowns. Let’s talk about everyone’s fears if we move forward.</li></ul>

Ask Thoughtful Questions

The real emotion (fear, anger, sadness, contempt) is often the very one we want to avoid. They often feel painful, and we lack the skills to proactively manage them. Holding space allows us to process and express our feelings when we are ready. When we leave room to recognize our feelings, we might ask a question, share a compassionate perspective or just be in silence. Getting more comfortable with negative emotions ensures that you are not countering every difficult feeling with a positive response.

Recognizing The Real, Natural Emotions

One of our previous consultants used to remind us: “You can’t tell your story while you are in it.” We often try and understand our situation too soon. Sometimes, we just need to be in the moment. Be okay with feeling sad. Be aware of our fears or recognize our anger. The lessons unfold over time.

Jumping To Conclusions

“Should” is a trigger word. When we say that we “should” or “shouldn’t” be feeling something, it is a clue that we are not ready to move forward from our emotional state. Stay with what is. Avoid shaming someone (or yourself) for feeling a certain way or brushing things off when they really are a big deal to youWhile “don’t worry and be happy” is great advice, don’t allow it to come at the expense of your true feelings. Emotions are your greatest teacher.

Look For Small Clues And Triggers

Here’s a leadership lesson you don’t often hear: “While ‘don’t worry and be happy’ is great advice, don’t allow it to come at the expense of your true feelings. Emotions are your greatest teacher.”


How to handle negativity without being annoyingly positive

Self-improvement can be your focus. With the alone time that you have you can use that time to develop yourself. You can learn how to build relationships without feeling <a href="http://canwilldone.com/compliment-feel-weird/">awkward </a>doing so. You can improve your interpersonal skills. You can build coping skills for those situations that you otherwise cast aside. The possibilities are endless. Combine self-reflection to help with your self-improvement.

Use Being A Loner To Your Advantage

Loner seems so lonely, but a loner can use that to there advantage. In this post we discuss the disadvantages and advantages to being a loner.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Advantage of being a Loner

<ul><li>Lack interest in things you used to love</li><li>Change your friends a lot</li><li>Stop taking care of yourself</li><li>Spend more time alone than you used to</li><li>Eat more or less than normal</li><li>Sleep at odd hours</li><li>Have problems at work or with family</li><li>Switch quickly from feeling good and bad</li><li>Crave or strongly desire to use the substance</li></ul>

Signs of a Substance Abuse Problem

It’s not just about illegal drugs. Using pain meds, alcohol, and other legal substances the wrong way can also harm your health.   

Substance Abuse: Know the Signs

Find 100+ Mental Health Tips & Facts - Curated from sources like Books, Podcasts, Articles - Insights by Real Users looking to share Insights on Mental Health