When Mark Zuckerberg announced the rebranding of Facebook to Meta late last month in a “<a href="https://about.fb.com/news/2021/10/founders-letter/">founder’s letter</a>,” I was on a video call with my writing group, discussing the tactile joys of our craft — the benefits of writing by hand, our love of beautiful Rhodia writing pads, our favorite examples of manuscript pages (mine: David Foster Wallace’s, reeking of chew). Among the three of us, we owned five typewriters and no social media accounts. There we were in the metaverse, longing for the one thing it can’t provide: the experience of touch.

Rebranding Facebook to Meta

Through virtual and augmented reality (also Ray-Ban Stories smart glasses), Meta’s technology aims to change how we live, how we connect with friends and family. (Imagine teleporting hologram-you to concerts or Thanksgiving dinners.) Except for all its patter about bringing people together, Meta advances a fundamental human disconnection: It removes our bodies from the equation.

Change How We Live

Meta's Technology

I, for one, will not go gentle into the metaverse. Not because I’m anti-technology (I’m not) or unreasonably attached to the pleasures of gel ink pens and hard-bound books (I may be). It’s because after I’ve struggled with anorexia and bulimia for more than 20 years, the last thing I want is technology that further estranges me from my body. “If we lose touch with ourselves,” the philosopher Richard Kearney writes, “we lose touch with the world. No tactile connection, no resonance between self and other.”

I Will not go into the Metaverse

After I’ve struggled with anorexia and bulimia for more than 20 years, the last thing I want is technology that further estranges me from my body. 

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

health

Health

technologyandthefuture

Technology & The Future

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

Opinion | We’re Longing for the One Thing the Metaverse Can’t Give Us

Fear never goes away. It doesn’t matter how strong you feel or are—if you can lift 350 pounds, if you have 350 million dollars in the bank, if you can boss around your spouse—you are still going to be afraid. To a large degree what you accomplish in life, what you are capable of, is going to depend on how you deal with fear.

Step 1: Accept It 

To leverage fear into courage, you have to be honest with yourself every time you’re afraid. If you don’t admit your fears to yourself, you can’t leverage them into courage. Look for the points in your life where you’re afraid, and see them as opportunities to learn to deal with fear.

Step 2: Identify It

The greatest mistake people make when dealing with fear is to try to think their way through it. They analyze what triggered it, or start “playing chess,” projecting out what might happen next, and how they’ll deal with it. This doesn’t diminish fear; it actually increases it because there’s no way to outsmart the universe. Instead of trying, do the counterintuitive thing with fear: let yourself feel it. Then you’ll be ready to move to the next step.

Step 3: Feel It 

Have you ever had one of those dreams where a dark, scary figure is chasing you? If you run away, it always gets much more terrifying. If you turn around and face it, something good almost always happens. It’s the same with fears in your waking life. The Reversal of Desire tool literally reverses the desire to run away and gets you to face your fear and move through it.

Step 4: Face It 

Try to think about confronting fear as a skill—something you can practice and get good at, like ping-pong, or knitting, or anything else. This will make your fear seem less dramatic, and you’ll feel more in control of it. You can also gain a lot of satisfaction in the process.

Step 5: Practice It 

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

problemsolving

Problem Solving

5 Steps to Overcome Fear  — The Tools

One-sided relationships, also known as ‘parasocial relationships’, are blossoming distancing and national Covid-19 lockdowns. A global study of more than 15,000 people in 25 countries from security firm Kaspersky finds that just under half (47%) of social media users believe the influencers they follow provide them with ‘an escape from reality’. More than one in five (21%) believes they ‘could be friends’with influencers they follow and around the same proportion (22%) have gone as far as sending a private message to an influencer.

The Magnitude Of One-Sided Relationships 

Despite the largely virtual nature of these relationships, many users have sought out direct contact with the influencers they follow, mostly via commenting on their posts (37%) or reacting to their posts or stories (37%).More than a third (34%) of social media users have even met some of the influencers that they follow in real life, with the figure rising to 57% in the US.

The Spillover Of Virtual Relationships

During successive global lockdowns, many of us have spent long periods at home and are turning to virtual companions to replace our lost social lives. This type of one-sided relationship has a strong pull over many lives. More than seven in ten (71%) say that they learn from the influencers they follow in areas such as health, hobbies, style and news. Nearly a quarter (23%) say they are ‘dependent’ on influencer content and one in ten (10%) even say they feel a sense of absence if they do not engage with influencers.

The Invasiveness And Pervasiveness Of Parasocial Relationships

However, social media has been important for many people during the pandemic, with nearly six in ten (59%) worldwide saying social media has provided a vital connection for them during the pandemic. This figure was highest among younger people aged 18-34 (71%), who rely on social media for connectivity. People in Vietnam (94%) and South Africa (79%) are the most likely to say social media is a vital connection for them, although a third of people worldwide (33%) say they have become less tolerant to people on social media during the pandemic.

The Pandemic Effect: People Changed Over To The Opposite Camp

Although more than half (56%) of people have been on active on social media for more than a decade, many of us are still figuring out how to balance the positives of social media with the negatives. Now, we’ve moved into a new era where virtual relationships are becoming the norm. These one-sided relationships can often lead to oversharing on social media, as people look to develop these relationships. However, this can lead to a huge range of negative and unforeseen consequences – hacking and phishing attempts, doxing and bullying, online shaming – the list goes on.

The Pandemic Effect: Throwing New Weight On An Unbalanced Scale

Kaspersky has identified five types of social media persona: <ul><li>Savvy Socials - who limit their time online and keep posts to a minimum</li><li>Breezy Posters - they post prolifically over relatively short periods of activity</li><li>Oversharers – these people virtually live online and post like crazy!</li><li>Lurkers – they might spend a lot of time on social, but they’re just here to surf, not to comment</li><li>Offliners – these people are either inactive, never joined, or deleted many of their social media accounts</li></ul>

The 5 Types Of Social Media Persona

To find out what kind of social media user you are, visit Kaspersky’s online quiz:https://www.kaspersky.com/blog/shareaware-quiz/

Find Out What Type You Are - Or Have Become

“It is understandable with the lockdowns we've all experienced over the past year that people will have gravitated towards online and parasocial relationships to stave off loneliness and boredom, but it's crucial that people are aware of the consequences of oversharing online and are able to take a more balanced approach,” comments David Emm, Principal security researcher at Kaspersky.Kaspersky has launched its <a href="https://www.kaspersky.com/blog/shareaware-hub/">‘ShareAware Hub’ </a>, where people can find handy tips to help them enjoy social media safely.

Be “ShareAware”

The saying goes “Be careful what you wish for ‘cause you just might get it”. It seems to me that, for social media users, and especially for influencers and their followers, there’s a new version: “Be careful what you look for ‘cause you just might find it”.

People worldwide are turning to virtual, 'parasocial' relationships with influencers to cope with the effects of the pandemic

habits

Habits

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Social Media Users, ParaSocial Relationships & ParaNormal Reality

Frustration is a feeling people experience when they are upset or annoyed. It’s a normal reaction when dealing with situations outside of your control.

What is frustration?

The first step to dealing with frustration is to notice that you’re feeling. Believe it or not, but it’s not always easy to notice frustration arising. Fortunately, there is a way to get better at noticing frustration: meditation. With meditation, you simply become more attuned to feelings and sensations in your body. That way, when you notice that frustration is coming up for you, you can take action to lower it instead of taking it out on those you care about. One of the <a href="https://declutterthemind.com/blog/100-scientific-benefits-of-meditation/">benefits of meditation </a>is that it helps you become more self-aware in the present moment.

1. Meditate

While some parks, stores, and public places may be closed in specific cities around the world, in most countries, no one is stopping you from getting some fresh air. Whether you spend some time in your backyard or on your balcony, getting some of that fresh air can do your body good. If you own a pet, you might enjoy taking some time to walk it a few more times a day than usual to get some of that warm sunshine glowing upon you. While outdoors, be sure to mindfully breathe. Being out in nature is one of the best places you can ever be.

2. Get some fresh air

Exercise is one of the healthiest ways to deal with frustration. Instead of carrying all that pent up energy inside of you, you can release it through your physical movements. During your most frustrated moments, go for a run. If you’re feel really angry, you can gently punch the air as you move forward. You’ll notice that it actually feels good. You can also do other cardio such as dance if you want to transition from a mood of frustration to one of happiness. In all of these cases, you’re improving your physical health and dealing with frustration in a way that makes you stronger.

3. Exercise

When we’re frustrated, we sometimes use our words to hurt people we care about to get back at them for causing the frustration. However, verbally attacking someone doesn’t solve the problem, it only magnifies it. There’s an actionable book by Marshall Rosenberg called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships-ebook/dp/B014OISVU4/">Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life </a>that breaks down how to communicate your needs to other people. A cause of frustration may stem from not having our needs met. However, if we fail to know how to communicate those needs to others, we end up having to deal with frustration for years.

4. Practice nonviolent communication

Positive visualization can help calm your frustrations. You can use Declutter The Mind’s <a href="https://declutterthemind.com/guided-meditation/anxiety/">Visualization for Anxiety meditation </a>on the app to help you visualize a ball of light flowing through you to help you ease the tension in your body. The aim of the visualization is to shift your focus on something else to help you deal with frustration.

5. Focus on positive visualization

When a negative thought enters your mind, think of a piece of evidence that counters it. For example, you might think to yourself, “I forgot to buy eggs at the grocery store, I’m so forgetful.” However, telling yourself that you’re a forgetful person is a permanent way to describe yourself for making a tiny mistake. Instead, think to yourself, “I forgot to buy eggs because I didn’t include it on the grocery list due to being busier than usual today. I can pick some up tomorrow.” That way, you include a reason for not buying eggs and you also include a solution.

6. Change the tone of your thoughts

When we deal with frustration, we often put all of our focus on the problem instead of the solution. When you find that a problem is growing bigger, create a list of all the solutions. That way, you remind yourself that the problem is fixable. Frustration is fixable too.

7. Look for solutions, not problems

Experiencing frustration is part of being human. However, here’s some good news for you: frustration passes. When you find that burning ball is in your chest, taking a deep breath, and remembering that this isn’t a permanent state can help you deal with frustration. Obstacles and challenges don’t last forever. However, nothing is permanent. Eventually, as time passes, you’ll notice your frustrations do. Avoid making permanent decisions to solve temporary problems. In this present moment, you’re in full control of how you feel and react to your frustration. Choose your next step wisely.

8. This too shall pass

There are two types of frustrated people in the world: those who ruminate on their thoughts and those who take action. Those who ruminate on their thoughts tend to make a small problem an impossible one. And those who take action usually by distracting themselves eventually move on. If you find that something is frustrating you, it’s important to distract yourself with a different task. Maybe you play <a href="https://declutterthemind.com/blog/anxiety-relief-games/">anxiety relief games </a>, exercise, or watch a show. Avoid calling a friend to talk about your problem because that may cause the rumination to escalate.

9. Distract yourself

You probably don’t want to write your negative thoughts about people or situations on paper. Paper can be found and accidentally read by others. The best strategy is to type it all out and immediately deleting it without sending it. If you think sharing your thoughts needs to be heard to help you come to a solution, give yourself a few hours to cool down. And when you do write something out be sure to include actions that you and others can take to help resolve your frustrations.

10. Add a journal entry about it

Frustration is one of the most crippling feelings. Here's how to break out of it with 10 ways to deal with frustration.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

10 Ways to Deal With Frustration

The world is changing very fast. Big will not beat small anymore. It will be the fast beating the slow.

Be the smartest and the fastest in the room

Trauma is basically a harmful personal experience that affects our well-being, even after the experience is over.Harmful personal experiences can range from extreme changes, unexpected losses, high levels of uncertainty, etc., and experiencing such creates an adverse impact on well-being by showing symptoms of anxiety and depression, poor physical and mental health, poor regulation of sleep, eating, and emotions.

Trauma

Trauma can affect the brain by manifesting as a heightened and prolonged stress response that can impair the functioning of key parts of the brain that are responsible for executive functioning, impulse control, and emotional regulation.However, what is perceived as traumatic for one person may be perceived differently for another. There is no one-size-fits-all rubric for assessing what is traumatic and what isn't, which is why we need to learn trauma-informed approaches.

What Trauma Does To Our Brain

A trauma-informed approach begins with understanding the physical, social, and emotional impact of trauma on the individual.This approach incorporates three elements:<ol><li>Realizing the prevalence of trauma</li><li>Recognizing how trauma affects all individuals involved with the program, organization, including its own workforce; and</li><li>Responding by putting this knowledge into practice</li></ol>By being trauma-informed, it allows us to understand their potential paths for healing, recognize the signs and symptoms in staff, and put knowledge into policies, procedures, and settings.

Trauma-Informed Approaches

<ul><li>Realization: where everyone understands the widespread potential of trauma and how it affects employees</li><li>Recognize: where people can recognize common signs of trauma</li><li>Response: where organizations respond to the potential prevalence of trauma by embedding practices and behaviors that are sensitive to this reality</li><li>Resist re-traumatization: by paying careful attention as to not create a stressful or toxic environment that can re-traumatize individuals</li></ul>

The 4 Rs of Understanding The Trauma-Informed Approach

Implementing trauma-informed approaches cannot be done overnight but this is a sustainable management technique.It is important to infuse compassion into the workplace and the people from the top should also believe that it is a worthwhile endeavor.In order to incorporate compassion in the workplace, we can ensure that compassion is a core corporate value and infuse it throughout the employee life cycle then you can begin to roll out the 4 Rs into your organization.

Implementing Trauma-Informed Approaches

There are some employers who still don't realize how much trauma their people may have experienced or are experiencing. Maybe they're not convinced that they can do anything or should do anything to help employees who are struggling.

COVID-19 has created widespread trauma. Experts offer guidance on how to lead with more awareness and compassion.

career

Career

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

Four Ways We Can Be Sensitive to Trauma at Work

It is generally accepted that success breeds confidence, and confidence increases the ability to handle pressure. And yet, as the experiences of Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka have shown this year, the story is not so simple. While success can indeed breed confidence, it can also increase visibility, multiply expectations, and raise pressure to unhealthy levels over time. When you are leading star performers, you need to recognize the double-edged nature of success and help them do two things: keep the stakes of failure in perspective and manage the volume of demands for their time.

Success Breeds Confidence And Confidence Breeds Pressure

Even the greatest performers feel pressure more than you might think. Consider the penalty kick in soccer. The stakes for each shot are immense, and players are expected to score; a miss is considered a failure. Beyond losing the game, players who miss high-profile shots often face vitriolic abuse from so-called fans, as did <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/12/world/europe/england-european-championships-racism.html">three Black members of England’s team </a>that lost to Italy’s team in the European soccer championship in July 2021.

The Star Performers Carry The Pressure They Feel

So, if you’re the coach, you want your superstars taking these shots, right? Not necessarily. Researcher Geir Jordet studied 366 kicks from 37 penalty shootouts held at the world’s largest soccer tournaments. His counterintuitive <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10413200902777263">finding </a>was that superstars — those who had won a major international award like FIFA’s Player of the Year — performed worse than those who had not. The superstars scored only 65% of the time versus the 74% overall average. Even more striking, they scored far less than players who would later go on to win the same awards. These “future stars”’ scored 89% of the time.

… And The Pressure They’re Laden With

In short, players who have the skill but not yet the status that comes with winning a major award performed far better than those who had both the skill and the status. Status, it turns out, can be a burden.

Status Can Be A Burden

Understanding the burden of status requires understanding what creates pressure. Dane Jensen, author of the book “The Power of Pressure” has, for the past three years, conducted research into pressure with hundreds of high performers in sports, business, medicine, and the military, including in-depth interviews with Olympic and Paralympic athletes who have collectively won 21 medals, 13 of them gold.

Research On Pressure

Jensen has found that pressure is a function of three things:<ol><li>The importance of a situation’s outcome</li><li>The uncertainty of the outcome</li><li>The volume of tasks, decisions, and distractions surrounding the outcome</li></ol>All three are affected by success and status, but two are particularly acute: a ratcheting up of the importance attached to the outcome and a dramatic rise in the volume of tasks, decisions, and distractions facing the performer.

The Origins And Power Of Pressure

Following her decision to withdraw from the Olympics’ team final in gymnastics, Simone Biles laid bare exactly how high the stakes were for her: “We hope America still loves us,” <a href="https://www.today.com/news/simone-biles-gives-teammates-empowering-pep-talk-after-withdrawing-olympics-t226674">she said</a>. At her level of visibility and adulation, this was not just about the very real physical stakes of performing complex maneuvers 10 feet in the air at speeds of up to 150 rpm; it was also about the expectations of 300 million people, her identity as a champion, and the very basic human need to be loved and respected.

The Champion And The Human Being

As success and visibility accumulate, the stakes in high pressure situations expand from tangible things like medals or compensation and begin to encompass existential things like identity and self-worth. Leading or coaching highly successful performers through a high-pressure event requires reducing the overwhelming baggage they can attach to failure. You can start to accomplish this by asking one key question: What are the things that are the most important to you — that are integral to your being — and won’t change regardless of the outcome?

The Stakes And Yourself

When Norwegian speed-skater Johann Koss found himself overwhelmed by pressure in the lead-up to his first Olympic Games in 1994, his sports psychologist did just that. The psychologist methodically worked through with him all of what wasn’t at stake: his future career as a doctor, Norway’s overall success at the Olympics, and so on. It helped Koss regain his perspective and deliver three all-time great performances in which he won three gold medals and established three world records in three events.

Identify What Is Not At Stake - Challenge, If You Must

As you work through the stakes with someone, play the role of challenger. For example, at a key moment Koss’ sport psychologist asked, “Do you think the Norwegian people care whether you or another Norwegian win a medal?” This push caused Johann to admit that, no, the Norwegian people would be fine either way — their happiness wasn’t at stake. The cost of failure dropped.

No Stakes, No Costs

Such questions force us to challenge our view of what’s in play when confronting a high-pressure challenge and thus broaden our perspective to see those stakes in balance alongside all the things that are not affected by our performance.

When Under Pressure, Reduce The Stakes Of Failure

On May 26, 2021, tennis phenom Naomi Osaka <a href="https://twitter.com/naomiosaka/status/1397665030015959040?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1397665030015959040%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cbssports.com%2Ftennis%2Fnews%2Fnaomi-osaka-announces-she-will-not-speak-to-the-media-at-the-french-open-citing-mental-health-awareness%2F">announced on Twitter </a>that for the sake of her mental health she would not do any press interviews at the French Open. After a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/31/sports/tennis/naomi-osaka-quits-french-open-depression.html">tone-deaf response from the organizers </a>, she pulled out of the tournament five days later.The volume of tasks and distractions that surround performance can dramatically increase pressure. And as success and status build, so too does volume. The requests for Osaka’s time at the French Open in 2021 were vastly greater than they were in 2016 during her first Grand Slam event.

As Success And Status Build, So Too Does Volume

In response to the increase in volume, Osaka — like all of us — had two choices: accommodate more or eliminate the volume that was creating the most pressure. She chose the latter, which is exactly the right response to pressure that comes from volume.As leaders, we can aim higher than the French Open organizers and hold more productive discussions with our stars to help them manage the volume they face. If a star subordinate is feeling overwhelmed, consider sitting down and looking at each of the items demanding their time and asking:

Increase In Volume - Choices To Make And Questions To Ask

<ul><li>Is this helping or hurting mperformance on what matters most? This is the key filter for sources of pressure that are ancillary to the core matter at hand (like winning a tennis tournament).</li><li>Will this help you grow in a way that matters to you? Growth gives meaning to pressure. Preserving the pressure that is helping move us forward is vital, even if it is uncomfortable.</li><li>Will eliminating a particular source of pressure lead to regret? There are some sources of pressure that don’t help us grow and hurt performance but ultimately must be endured in order to stave off regret down the line</li></ul>

Sources Of Pressure Evaluation And Filtering

If something is hurting performance, is detached from growth, and is not linked to regret, it’s a source of pressure that likely should be eliminated or redirected from your stars to other team members.Few of us will ever know the pressure of carrying the expectations of 300 million people into a physically and mentally demanding environment. But, through thoughtful conversations that aim to keep importance in perspective and simplify volume, we can help our own stars carry the burden of success a little more lightly.

Superstars And Our Own Stars

A reminder that pressure is not only felt, it is also laden - sometimes we are laden with it, sometimes we lade it on others

What leaders can learn from top athletes like Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka.

Managing Star Performers in High-Pressure Situations

Study suggests high levels of skunk use may affect the brain’s white matter, making communication between the right and left hemispheres less efficient.

How Smoking Skunk Damage Nerve Fibres

Study suggests high levels of skunk use may affect the brain’s white matter, making communication between the right and left hemispheres less efficient

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

Smoking high-strength cannabis may damage nerve fibres in brain | Drugs

Oxytocin is often known as ‘the bonding hormone’. It’s released when we feel safe, connected, and close to people we trust.Oxytocin hacks to stimulate naturally-<ul><li>Stroking a pet, interacting with animals lovingly </li><li>Being in close company of friends and family and being affectionate </li><li>Giving compliments </li><li>Holding hands</li><li>Giving or receiving massage (scalp massage)</li><li>Preparing and sharing food with loved ones </li></ul>

Oxytocin 

Serotonin is most commonly associated with mood regulation, balanced sleeping patterns, improving happiness and decreasing anxiety.Serotonin hacks to stimulate naturally-<ul><li>Getting some sun enjoying the warmth of sun on your eyelids can greatly enhance mood and also help to boost your levels of Vitamin D.</li><li>Aerobic exercise such a running, swimming or cycling helps to release Tryptophan in to the bloodstream which is then converted in to Serotonin</li><li>Getting out for a walk in nature. Try escaping the city for a leafy country or woodland walk</li></ul>

Serotonin

Dopamine is the reward hormone that is organically released from things like praise, positive outcomes, winning and food.Dopamine hacks to stimulate naturally - <ul><li>Eating your favourite foods as a treat (in moderation )</li><li>Having gratitude for the little wins in life</li><li>Practicing self care </li><li>Listening to feel-good music </li><li>Finishing a task or project you started </li><li>Break bigger tasks into smaller parts and deliberately reward yourself internally each time you complete the smaller task</li></ul>

Dopamine 

Endorphin is heavily involved in the fight or flight response and is actually a natural pain. It helps manage pain, reduce stress and increase pleasure.Endorphin hacks to stimulate naturally - <ul><li>Exercise</li><li>Laughing with friends, watching/listening to comedy </li><li>Being creative through art or design, gardening or anything that gets your juices flowing</li><li>Aromatherapy oils like rosemary, lavender, citrus etc</li></ul>

Endorphin

Happiness chemicals and how to hack them  I think it's fair to say that we would all like to be more happy. Whilst we can agree on that, I'm sure we can also all agree that happiness is fleeting and something that comes and goes. In this blog post we are delving into the chemicals we know from science that help to prod

Happiness chemicals & how to hack them

Recent findings on nostalgia suggest it can be good for us, increasing our well-being, making us feel connected to other people, and giving us a sense of continuity in our lives. And it seems to come on naturally when we need to weather life’s difficulties. Rather than being a problem, nostalgia can help bring happiness and meaning to our lives.Nostalgia is more a blessing than a curse, and a winning strategy for feeling better about ourselves. It can increase our connection to others, our sense of meaning in our lives, our authenticity, and our happiness. So, why not tune into nostalgia ?

Future Usually Has A Better Foundation Lying In The Past

Usually own past experiences provide more confidence and ideas for future undertakings.

Some recent studies suggest that experiencing nostalgia about our past can make us happier and more resilient during times of stress.

Five Ways Nostalgia Can Improve Your Well-Being

Find 100+ Mental Health Tips & Facts - Curated from sources like Books, Podcasts, Articles - Insights by Real Users looking to share Insights on Mental Health