When you watch a chess game, it's easy to spot when another player made a big mistake. But when we play ourselves, we often make the same mistakes. The reason this happens is known as "the rule of the chess player:" It's easier to see potential mistakes when we're not emotionally attached to the game and don't feel the stress.

Performing under pressure

When you're in an emotionally intense situation, your perspective will be very different than when you're not in that situation. The rule of the chess player is based on the perspective gap, a psychological principle. It states that we often misjudge how we would react when facing a situation.

The rule of the chess player

When you see someone make a big mistake, you may think, "Well, that's what they get." or "I've been there; it will help them toughen up." Those reactions are unhelpful. They don't do anything for the person who's suffering nor for your relationship with them. In contrast, using the rule of the chess player helps you to realise that you would make the same mistakes if you were in similar circumstances. Your default changes from "judgmental" to "helpful", which can strengthen your connections with others.

Show more empathy

Chess Masters and Grandmasters practice dealing with different scenarios they might encounter. By practising the moves over and over, they develop habits and processes they can repeat effortlessly. You can do the same thing with your emotions. Training your feelings and emotional responses can help you to form habits you can rely on under pressure. When you're under emotional stress, you'll avoid panicking, which will help you to make good decisions.

Perform under pressure

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

strategy

Strategy

problemsolving

Problem Solving

How Emotionally Intelligent People Use the 'Rule of the Chess Player' to Strengthen Relationships and Perform Under Pressure

We miss the point that the ability to develop any skill as swiftly as possible, with the least amount of effort, and even to experience inner peace and joy in the process, is in fact a skill itself, and one that requires constant practice to become an effortless part of who we are.
When we subtly shift toward both focusing on and finding joy in the process of achieving instead of having the goal, we have gained a new skill. And once mastered, it is magical and incredibly empowering.

Effortless Effort

If you are not in control of your thoughts, then you are not in control of yourself. Without self-control, you have no real power, regardless of whatever else you accomplish.
If you are not aware of the thoughts that you think in each moment, then you are the rider with no reins, with no power over where you are going. You cannot control what you are not aware of. Awareness must come first

The Normal, Accidental Mind

The practising mind is quiet. It lives in the present and has laser-like, pinpoint focus and accuracy. It obeys our precise directions, and all our energy moves through it. 
Because of this, we are calm and completely free of anxiety. We are where we should be at that moment, doing what we should be doing and completely aware of what we are experiencing. There is no wasted motion, physically or mentally.

The Practising Mind

We have a very unhealthy habit of making the product — our intended result — the goal, instead of the process of reaching that goal.
When we practice something, we are involved in the deliberate repetition of a process with the intention of reaching a specific goal. The words deliberate and intention are key here because they define the difference between actively practicing something and passively learning it (similar to deliberate practice, see Peak).

The Journey, Not The Destination

<ul>
<li>When you focus on the process, the desired product takes care of itself with fluid ease.</li>
<li>When you focus on the product or goal, you immediately begin to fight yourself and experience boredom, restlessness, frustration, and impatience with the process.</li>
</ul>

The Process Matters, Not The Goal

When you remain aware of your intention to stay focused on the present, it’s easy to notice when you fall out of this perspective. At such times you immediately begin to judge what and how well you are doing, and you experience impatience and boredom. 
When you catch yourself in these moments, just gently remind yourself that you have fallen out of the present, and feel good about the fact that you are now aware enough to recognize it. You have begun to develop the Observer within you, who will prove so important in your self-guidance.

Stay In The Present

We consciously or unconsciously pick a point of reference in whatever we do and decide that nothing will be right until we get to that point. If you step back and observe your internal dialogue from time to time during the day, you will be amazed at how hard you work against yourself with this type of thinking.
In Zen, this state is referred to as “beginner’s mind.” When you are a beginner in any activity, accomplishing it takes all your concentration, and your mind is empty of chatter.

The Beginners Mind

<ul>
<li>If your mind races off, you're like a chariot without the reigns. Take the reigns and be in control of your mind.</li>
<li>Your goals are a compass, not the buried treasure. The goal is not the destination or where you end up, but rather the compass that guides the journey.</li>
<li>The greatest part of entrepreneurship is breaking down your limiting beliefs. It has nothing to do with money.</li>
</ul>

Your Beliefs And Limitations Are Only In The Mind

All of life is practice in one form or another. Actively practising something is very different from passively learning. You will never reach a level of performance that feels complete, so learn to love the art of practicing your skill.

Examines the process of practice as it relates to learning, and shows that it can build discipline and clarity, and be a fulfilling process in and of itself.

productivity

Productivity

mindfulness

Mindfulness

books

Books

In those times when we want to acquire a new skill or face a formidable challenge we hope to overcome, what we need most are patience, focus, and discipline, traits that seem elusive or difficult to maintain. In this enticing and practical book, Thomas Sterner demonstrates how to learn skills for any aspect of life, from golfing to business to parenting, by learning to love the process. Early life is all about trial-and-error practice. If we had given up in the face of failure, repetition, and difficulty, we would never have learned to walk or tie our shoes. So why, as adults, do we often give up on a goal when at first we don’t succeed? Modern life’s technological speed, habitual multitasking, and promises of instant gratification don’t help. But in his study of how we learn (prompted by his pursuit of disciplines such as music and golf), Sterner has found that we have also forgotten the principles of practice — the process of picking a goal and applying steady effort to reach it. The methods Sterner teaches show that practice done properly isn’t drudgery on the way to mastery but a fulfilling process in and of itself, one that builds discipline and clarity. By focusing on “process, not product,” you’ll learn to live in each moment, where you’ll find calmness and equanimity. This book will transform a sense of futility around learning something challenging into an attitude of pleasure and willingness.

Thomas M. Sterner is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Thomas M. Sterner has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Thomas M. Sterner's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Thomas M. Sterner

The Practicing Mind

नास्ति काम समो व्याधिर्नासि्त मोहसमो रिपु:।नास्ति कोप समो वह्रि: नास्ति ज्ञानात्परें सुखम्।।

No Disease is More Deadly than Sexual Desire.No Enemy is more Dangerous than Infatuation. No Fire is more Scorching than the Fire of Wrath.No Happiness is Better than the Self-knowledge.

Meaning Of Above Sutra

One of the greatest figures of wisdom and knowledge in the Indian history is Chanakya. Chanakya is regarded as a great thinker and diplomat in India who is traditionally identified as Kautilya or Vishnu Gupta. Originally a professor of economics and political science at the ancient Takshashila University, Chanakya managed the first Maurya Emperor Chandragupta's rise to power at a young age. Instead of acquiring the seat of kingdom for himself, he crowned Chandragupta Maurya as the emperor and served as his chief advisor. Chanakya Neeti is a treatise on the ideal way of life, and shows Chanakya's deep study of the Indian way of life. These practical and powerful strategies provide a path to live an orderly and planned life. If these strategies are followed in any sphere of life, victory is certain. Chanakya also developed Neeti-Sutras (aphorisms ? pithy sentences) that tell people how they should behave. Chanakya used these sutras to groom Chandragupta and other selected disciples in the art of ruling a kingdom. But these sutras are also relevant in this modern age and are very useful for us. For the first time, Chanakya Neeti and Chanakya Sutras are compiled in this book to make Chanakya's invaluable wisdom easily available to the common readers. This book presents Chanakya's powerful strategies and principles in a very lucid manner for the benefit of our valuable readers.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Chanakya Neeti is a book based on Chanakya, an Indian theorist, teacher, philosopher, economist and a noble mentor to the Mauryan emperors between 350 -275 BC. The book portrays about his ideologies and ideas in diverse situations, which are pertinent even to today?s? times. People follow his ideas to escape from the web of several evils to lead a happy and peaceful life. Chanakya was also known as Kautilya or Vishnu Gupta. He was prominent lecturer at the ancient Takshashila University. He was an expert of economics and political science. Besides teaching, he also advised the Mauryan kings, Chandragupta and his son Bindusara. Chanakya played a crucial role in the establishment and expansion of the Mauryan Empire. In this book, the author tells about Arthashastra, the ancient thesis about Indian Polity. The book focuses on Chanakya's detailed theories. He wrote his discoveries as to the manner people used to live their lives in ancient India. The book explains the behaviours and patterns a person should follow with different people in life. This book was published in 2002 and is available in paperback form. It comprises of Neeti Sutras in Sanskrit, which are in concise form, but are very impressive. Their translation is done in English and a bit is explained in laymen's terms too. It is available online on Amazon India. About the author: B.K. Chaturvedi is an Indian Civil Servant. He is also former Cabinet Secretary, Government of India. He was awarded the Padma Bhushan for his involvement in the field of civil services, in 2010. He belongs to the 1966 IAS batch. About the Author About the Author: B. K. Chaturvedi is a famous Indian author, who is also a journalist and translator. His works are mainly based on Hindu Gods and saints. He also focusses on historically famous Indian people. Chaturvedi's works are published both in English and Hindi. He mostly studied in Bangalore and Allahabad. Apart from this book, Chaturvedi has authored Linga Purana, Kautilya's Arthashastra and A Complete Guide To Numerology. He has also written for some programmes on TV and radio.

B. K. Chaturvedi is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. B. K. Chaturvedi has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. B. K. Chaturvedi's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

B. K. Chaturvedi

Chanakya Neeti

What is meditation? Meditation is the power which enables us to resist all this[slavery to nature]... [One] should be able to say to his mind, "You are mine; I order you, do not see or hear anything", and the mind will not see or hear anything -- no form or sound will react on the mind... Next, the mind must be made to quiet down. It is rushing about. Just as I sit down to meditate, all the vilest subjects in the world come up... Why should the mind think thoughts I do not want it to think? I am, as it were a slave to the mind... Meditation is the power which enables us to resist all this.

Mind

How is it (meditation) to be attained? In a dozen different ways. Each temperament has its own way. But this is the general principle: get hold of the mind. The mind is like a lake, and every stone that drops into it raises waves. These waves do not let us see what we are... Let it be calm. Do not let nature raise the wave. Keep quiet, and then after a little while she will give you up. Then we know what we are.

Lake

Meditation is the focusing of the mind on some object. If the mind acquires concentration on one object, it can be so concentrated on any object whatsoever... the practice of meditation even with some trifling external object leads to mental concentration. But it is true that the mind very easily attains calmness when one practice meditation with anything on which one's mind is most apt to settle down.

object

Imagination is the door to inspiration and the basis of all thought. All prophets, poets, and discoverers have had great imaginative power... The three great requisites are:First. Purity, physical and mental; all uncleanness, all that would draw the mind down, must be abandoned.Second. Patience: ... the gain is sure if you have patience.Third. Perseverance: Persevere through think and thin, through health and sickness, never miss a day in practice... (continued next)

Imagine

(continued from last idea)After bathing, sit down and hold the seat firm as a rock, that nothing can move you. Hold the head and shoulders and the hips in a straight line, keeping the spinal column free; all action is along it, and it must not be impaired... then think of the whole as perfect, an instrument given to you by god to enable you to attain Truth... take a long breath through both nostrils, throw it out again, and then hold it out as long as you comfortably can. Take four such breaths, then breathe naturally and pray for illumination.

We have to seize this unstable mind and drag it from its wanderings and fix it on one idea. Over and over again this must be done.

Again

The easiest way to get hold of the mind is to sit quiet and let it drift where it will for a while. Hold fast to the idea, 'I am the witness watching my mind drifting. The mind is not I.' Then see it, think as if it were a thing entirely apart from yourself.

Take some holy person, some great person whom you revere, some saint whom you know to be perfectly non-attached, and think of his heart, that heart has become non-attached, and meditate on that heart; it will calm the mind.

Think of a space in your heart, and in the midst of that space think that a flame is burning. Think of that flame as your own soul and inside the flame is another effulgent light, and that is the Soul of your soul, God. Meditate upon that in the heart.

Flame and heart

*Fun fact*My name Anirban means the eternal flame, a flame that cannot be extinguished.

Meditation is still an ideal to me, which I strive for every day. I have learnt a little, I hope to continue learning from the practice.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

meditation

Meditation

The idea of Meditation by Vivekananda

People who struggle with anxiety for long periods mistakenly belief unhelpful myths about what anxiety is and how it works. If you want to feel less anxious, you should unlearn the counter-productive myths that you've heard about anxiety.

Misunderstanding anxiety

Analyzing your past may be interesting, but it isn't helpful. This is because the initial cause of your anxiety is seldom the maintaining cause of your anxiety. Until you address the maintaining causes, your anxiety will continue.

Myth: You must understand the origins of your anxiety

Because something feels bad, it doesn't mean it is bad. Muscles soreness after a workout feels bad but is really a good thing. Anxiety is the same. It feels bad but isn't dangerous. It is just a form of faulty or misguided fear. But, long-term anxiety can lead to chronic stress, which is associated with various adverse effects. The key insight is that worrying about anxiety teaches your brain to think that anxiety is dangerous, making you even more anxious. Make it a point to stop worrying about your anxiety.

Myth: Anxiety is dangerous

Coping skills provide only short-term relief from anxiety. For example, doing mindfulness meditation to cope with your anxiety. Doing so teaches your brain that it's not okay to feel anxious and that anxiety is bad. As stated, anxiety is not dangerous, but if you treat it like it is, you teach your brain to fear fear itself.

Myth: You need coping skills to manage your anxiety

The belief that anxiety is a sign of weakness can be very hard to shake. Even if people acknowledge intellectually that feeling anxious isn't a sign of weakness, they still feel that way experientially. For example, let's say you gave a presentation at work and got really anxious because you mixed up some information. Then you spend the rest of the day ruminating about it. "I can't believe I got so flustered..."

Myth: Anxiety is a weakness

People may feel afraid they'll never change because that's just who they are. "I've always been an anxious person." However, anxiety comes from learning and experience. The good news is what is learned can be unlearned.

Myth: You're born with anxiety

Worry and anxiety are very different. Understanding the difference can help to lower your anxiety in the long term. Worry is a series of thoughts. "I'll never get that promotion..." "My chest feels funny... Maybe I'm having a heart attack." Anxiety is an emotion. Feeling nervous before a big performance; feeling on edge in a room full of new people. You can change your emotions indirectly by changing how you think. For example, it is possible to stop worrying and redirect your attention and thinking onto something else.

Myth: Worry and anxiety are the same thing

Anxiety often stems from unhealthy relationships. People get stuck in patterns of chronic worry because they're not good at managing their relationships. They don't know how to set healthy boundaries and be assertive enough.

Myth: It’s all in your head

If you want to feel less anxious, you need to understand how anxiety actually works (and how it doesn't, despite what you're been told).

health

Health

habits

Habits

mentalhealth

Mental Health

7 Anxiety Myths Everyone (Mistakenly) Believes

Cambridge English Dictionary: cognitive bias as the way a particular person understands events, facts, and other people, which is based on their own particular set of beliefs and experiences and may not be reasonable or accurate.PositivePsychology.com: “We are often presented with situations in life when we need to make a decision with imperfect information, and we unknowingly rely on prejudices or biases.”

What Are Cognitive Biases?

Confirmation Bias: Making decisions based on media and information sources that are in alignment with your current beliefs.Anchoring Bias: Becoming committed or attached to the first thing you learn about a particular subject. Similar to the halo effect , which is when you assume that a person’s positive or negative traits in one area will be the same in some other aspect of their personality.Hindsight Bias: Inclination to see some events as more predictable than they are; also known as the “I knew it all along" reaction.

Common Types Of Bias 

Misinformation effect: Memories of an event can become affected or influenced by information you received after the event occurred. Researchers have proven that memory is inaccurate because it is vulnerable to revision when you receive new information.Actor-observer bias: You attribute your actions to external influences and other people's actions to internal ones.False consensus effect: Assuming more people agree with your opinions and share your values than actually do. This happens because you tend to spend most of your time with family and friends, who share beliefs similar to yours.

Availability bias occurs when you believe the information you possess is more important than it actually is. This happens when you watch or listen to media sources that tend to run dramatic stories without sharing any balancing statistics on how rare such events may be.Bandwagon effect, also known as herd mentality or groupthink: Te propensity to accept beliefs or values because many other people hold them as well. This is a conformity bias as most people desire acceptance, fearing rejection if they hold opposing beliefs. People assume an opinion is correct because many others agree with it.

Authority bias is when you accept the opinion of an authority figure because you believe they know more than you. You might assume that they have already thought through an issue and made the right conclusion. And, because they are an authority in their field, you grant more credibility to their viewpoint than you would for anyone else.Negativity bias: Paying more attention to bad news than good. This is a natural bias that dates back to prehistoric days when noticing threats, risks, and other lethal dangers could save your life. In today’s civilized world, this bias is not as necessary.

Illusion of control is the belief that you have more control over a situation than you actually do.

Exposing yourself to new information and different viewpoints helps open up new neural pathways in your brain.Understanding these bias and being alert for them will help improve critical thinking.Communicate better to understand the source of the information

Knowledge And Communication

Cognitive bias can impact critical thinking

Recognizing your biases enhances understanding and communication.

communication

Communication

Cognitive Bias

Living, most of us try to do the right thing: abide by the law, respect others. However, being good people does not keep us harmless. We still can fall victim to the wrongdoings of others. When that happens, some of us break and resort to violent behavioral patterns themselves. Still, others find the strength to forgive and move on. We can either replicate or learn from the evil to never allow it to happen again.

Organize your immediate space first. 

We all try to make things right, reflecting our strive for bringing order into our lives. However, chaos is always there as well. It breeds just about any possibility to do good and evil. When we realize being equally capable of both, we get scared, skeptical, and even disgusted by what we are. No wonder no one rushes to cure themselves on tentative signs of illness. People love their pets more than themselves. First of all, spell out who you are. It is not given to us. We need to make ourselves. Refine your personality. Start now by treating yourself like someone you are responsible for. ﻿

Who Are You? 

Happiness is a nearly ephemeral occurrence that signifies our high peaks in life instead of the periods when we are not doing our absolute best. In reality, we long for order, which means arranging our internal and external worlds to make them known and understandable. We want to bring everything possible to escape the chaos. The latter is a mighty terrain where innumerable anxieties, as well as possibilities, smolder.

Long For The Order. 

Analyze your life to elicit what you are doing wrong. Using your good judgment and willpower, stop doing it today. You need to conduct an audience by yourself and stop blaming others (the government, God, your boss, etc.) for everything that went awry in your life. Hewing away self-destructive behaviors we become stronger and get to see clearer into the future.

🔮Future In Your Heart. 

If you find yourself living in a world you don’t like, start reviewing your values.

Step aside and try to reevaluate your current presuppositions. You might realize that holding on to them will not make you the person you are supposed to be. Sort the meaningful from the habitual, yet harmful. Indeed, our lives involve a lot of suffering that comes upon realizing our vulnerability and mortality, in general. Many of us postpone the pleasure of living today for the sake of preparing for the future. If that seems meaningful for you, then pursue it.

Meaningful Or Meaningless ? 

There are many things to be thankful for each day. As the day ends, try to enlist everything good that took place: a tasty cup of coffee, a cute animal you petted on the street, a polite shop assistant, etc. When you try to concentrate on the positive ones, you will see that they outweigh the nuisances. This revelation will help you preserve the strength you carry in you. Make good things happen. Pet a cat when you see one on the street.

Positivity Must Outweigh. 

There is still a kind of suffering — suffering for the sake of suffering. Many people even derive immense pleasure in this self-inflicted torture. Why? We tend to choose suffering over strength when we are reluctant to resolve complicated life situations. With time, our brain gets used to chemical and hormonal bombs and tells our body that suffering is the only emotion it wants to experience.

Self Inflicted Torture. 

We love people for their limitations because they shape our identities and generally define who we are.

Analyze your life to elicit what you are doing wrong.

philosophy

Philosophy

Rules for life. 

<ul><li>Feelings of regret are not just a fact of life, but a powerful catalyst for self-improvement.</li><li>Regret is not dangerous or abnormal. It is healthy and universal, an integral part of being human. Equally important, regret is valuable.</li><li>Feeling regret is part of the human experience, and also helps people learn from their mistakes and move forward.</li><li>A three-step process can help you reap the benefits of regret.</li></ul>

Key Takeaways

<ul><li>Feelings of regret are not just a fact of life, but a powerful catalyst for self-improvement.</li><li>Feeling regret is painful. What’s more, individuals tend to view regret as futile – as something preventing them from looking forward. </li><li>Yet decades of scientific research suggest that banishing regret from your life is not just futile, but also, unhelpful.</li></ul>

The Feelings Of Regret

A 1984 study at San Francisco State University found that regret is the most common negative emotion people express. Researchers associate the inability to feel this emotion with brain lesions, neurodegenerative diseases and mental illnesses like schizophrenia. Regret has a key place in human evolution: It sharpens people’s thinking and helps them avert future mistakes.

The Human Experience

The way people deal with feelings of regret determines their ability to turn them into something positive. Trying to suppress the feelings, or endlessly ruminating over them won’t do much good. Instead, you can make feelings of regret work for you by following a three-step process.

The Three-Step Process To Make Regret Work For You

Don’t whitewash or self-criticize. Instead, practice self-compassion by acknowledging that making mistakes is human. 
Also, consider the fact that other people might have gone through a similar experience, and that the event may not taint the rest of your life.

Step One: Try to Gain Perspective on Your Regrets

The effectiveness of self-compassion is especially evident with regret.

If you don’t want to entrust them to a friend, write about your negative experiences or speak them out loud into a recording device. 
Research shows that putting feelings into language helps individuals clarify and process them. If you decide to share your feelings with others, know that people tend to view others who show their vulnerability more favourably.

Step Two: Put Your Feelings Out In The Open

Instead of those unpleasant emotions fluttering around uncontrollably, language helps us capture them in our net, pin them down and begin analyzing them.

Try to self-distance from the experience by pretending you are giving advice to another person who had an identical experience. Or, imagine your future self looking back at your current problems. 
Another technique is to pretend you are a neutral expert analyzing your predicament, and then write an email to yourself outlining the lessons learned and giving instructions on how to move forward.

Step Three: Draw a Lesson From Your Experience

Most people don’t want to experience regret – yet it’s impossible to go through life without regretting something from time to time. Best-selling author Daniel H. Pink – who likes to turn conventional wisdom on its head – argues that, rather than being an unpleasant feeling that holds you back, regret can serve as a powerful catalyst for improving your life and that of others.

It’s tempting never to look back, but we’re hard-wired to focus on our mistakes. Rather than deny them, we can lift ourselves up by seeing them in a new light.

‘No Regrets’ Is No Way to Live

“Don't believe in yourself. Believe in me! Believe in the Kamina who believes in you!”Kamina

Believe In Me!

Simon and Kamina, who come from deep underground, reach the surface, along with the robot Gurren lagann, where they find new freedom in a world that is dominated by monsters, which they battle along with a heavily-armed woman called Yoko.

movies

Movies & Shows

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Kotaro Mori

Gurren Lagann Manga

Sociologist Emile Durkheim coined the phrase anomie to describe a destabilized and destabilizing state when rules and rule givers lose legitimacy. It’s what we feel when we face a virus that plays by one set of rules, politicians who play by another, and a professional life that proceeds independent of each — and when we face all of this in social isolation. Empathy can help us navigate this period of anomie. Here are four Empathy Rules that can help us cut across the divisions in our lives and build a sense of community.

Empathy Rules: The Takeaway

Empathy is the act of putting yourself in someone else’s problem in the hopes of understanding, of bridging a gap. It helps us feel in community, not abandoned to anomic isolation. It helps us feel seen and known for who we are.

Defining Empathy

Empathy at the workplace is both rewarding and time-consuming to listen to other people without preconception. Business consultants sometimes suggest something that seems close enough: radical candor.A continual round-robin of criticism and praise promises to dissolve the boundaries between colleagues. But this truth-telling practice proceeds from the feeling: “I know you.” Real empathy starts from a different premise, radical humility: “I don’t know how you feel, but I’m here to listen.”

Empathy At The workplace

Those who think that work is not the “place” for empathy miss the point. The empathy you receive at work makes you a better friend, partner, or parent. The empathy you receive at home makes you better able to listen at work. And there, empathic leadership makes room for intimacy and honesty, driving innovation and engagement. If you open yourself to empathy, you’re allowing yourself to listen across differences. Empathy keeps us from discounting, dismissing, or even cancelling others.

Importance Of Empathy At The Workplace

You can’t put yourself into someone else’s situation if you have preconceptions about its contours. We’re trained to relate to others by expressing what we think we share with them: “Oh, you lost your job. I know how tough that is; I lost mine as well!”It’s the opposite — the strategy of not knowing — that leaves you open to the truth of things.Step back and recognize that you don’t necessarily know what someone else is thinking or feeling. Stop, look, listen, and stay open. It’s not what you know, it’s what you’re willing to learn that provides space for empathy.

Radical Humility: Embracing The Not Knowing

Empathy doesn’t start with a reassuring “I’m like you.” On the contrary, empathy accepts friction. Colleagues may have profound disagreements, just like family members, neighbours, and friends. Empathy is not about being conflict-averse — it’s noisy because people are. To be empathetic, we must be willing to get in there, own the conflict, and learn how to fight fair. It’s about full engagement, even when it is uncomfortable.

Embrace Radical Difference

Empathy implies that you will do the work necessary to comprehend not just the place the person is coming from but their problem. It’s a discipline of basic respect, both personal and civic. You have a stake in helping your neighbour make things better. You can’t get bored or turn away.

Embrace Commitment

Empathy isn’t altruistic. It enlarges those who offer it and binds them to others. It fights anomie. If you’ve been heard, and the rules you’ve been asked to follow take your situation into account, you feel part of something larger than yourself.

Embrace Community

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

Empathy Rules

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