14 Things That Will Make People Like You (Heck, Even Love You)

People will like you more if you listen to them. This starts with ignoring your Twitter feed while out to dinner with friends, but goes a lot further than that. 

You can show you’re listening to someone through body language (positioning your body to face someone and mirroring his or her stance), eye contact (giving plenty of it), and verbal confirmation(we’ll talk more about this next).

Most psychology books refer to this technique as “active listening.” Active listening revolves around demonstrating your listening skills by repeating segments of what an individual has said to you.

It makes the other individual feel as though you really are paying attention. Plus, people love to hear their own words echoed back at them as it pats their egos a bit.

To really show someone you’ve been paying attention, try bringing up a topic that the person mentioned earlier.

They don’t have to be big, life-changing events. In fact, sometimes it says more that you can recall and show interest in even the small happenings in another person’s life.

As noted again by the famous self-improvement expert Dale Carnegie,individuals crave authentic appreciation. This is very different from emptyflattery, which most people are adept at detecting. No one likes a brown-nose, and most people don’t particularly love being pandered to. What people really want is sincere appreciation — to be recognized and appreciated for theirefforts.

In addition to giving people sincere appreciation, it’s also important to be generous with your praise

People have delicate egos, and even a slight word of condemnation can wound someone’s pride. Of course correction will be necessary at times, but it should always have a purpose and be handled with care.

If someone makes an error, don’t call that person out in front of a group. Be discreet, be delicate. Consider offering up a compliment sandwich — a deliciously effective strategy that involves dishing out praise before and after a criticism.

No one enjoys being bossed around. So what do you do when you need something done? The truth is that you can get the same result from asking a question as you can by giving an order.

The outcome may be the same, but the individual’s feeling and attitude can vary greatly depending on your approach.

People like to see character and authenticity. Try to be confident but respectful. Some cooperation experts suggest stepping toward a person and bending slightly forward when you’re introduced, in a gesture of a bow.

These kinds of gestures can go a long way toward making people think more highly of you.

People love a good story, and great stories require sophisticated storytellers.

Storytelling is an art form that requires an understanding of language and pacing. Master the fine oral tradition of storytelling and people will flock to you like you’re The Bard.

It has been shown that very subtle physical touch makes individuals feel more connected to you. A great example is gently touching someone’s forearm (with your left hand) while shaking hands (with your right hand) — it’s a great way to finish up a conversation. 

Not everyone will feel comfortable with this strategy, and if it’s not for you, that’s fine.

Asking someone for advice is, somewhat surprisingly, a great strategy for getting people to like you. Asking for advice shows that you value the other individual’s opinion and demonstrates respect. 

Everyone likes to feel needed and important. When you make someone feel better about himself or herself, that person will most certainly end up liking you for it.

One great example of situations in which it’s important to avoid clichés is in interviews. Rather than parroting the “nice to meet you”s at the conclusion of an interview, add some kind of variation to make you memorable, even in a tiny way. Try something like “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you today” or “It’s been a real pleasure learning more about [insert company].” 

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel — just be yourself.

Asking other people questions — about their lives, their interests, their passions — is a surefire way to get brownie points in their friendship books. People are egocentric — they love to talk about themselves. 

If you’re asking questions and getting people to talk about themselves, they’ll leave the conversation thinking you’re the coolest. Even if the conversation didn’t really give the other person a reason to like you, he or she will think better of you subconsciously just for indulging this or her ego.