“Never Go to Bed Angry:”The Pros and Cons of This Practice - Deepstash

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Pros:Anger Can Be Exhausting

Pros:Anger Can Be Exhausting

  • Being angry or holding a grudge can be exhausting. Finding a way to achieve forgiveness or resolution around the situation prompting your anger can help neutralize the situation and preserve your energy.

If you resolve your differences with the person you’re arguing with, you can direct your energy toward reconciling with them instead. This can help you reconnect with them and feel close to them again.


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Pros: Anger Can Build Overnight

Pros: Anger Can Build Overnight

  • Angry emotions tend to linger more at night than during the day, when you can be distracted and busy yourself with other tasks. Taking your anger to bed can cause you to dwell on the situation and make it into a much bigger issue, which can cause you to feel worse and drag the problem into the next day.

This is true, they tend to catastrophize and go down a dark hole with their anger. Having hours to think about their frustration while sitting awake in bed at night can be problematic because it can cause them to pour gasoline on an already rampant fire.


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Pros: Anger Can Disrupt Your Sleep

Pros: Anger Can Disrupt Your Sleep

  • Being angry at night can disrupt your sleep. It can make it hard for you to fall asleep, lead to poor sleep quality, and make you more prone to nightmares.

It’s important to remember that anger isn’t helping you or making you ‘win’ in a given situation. In the end, your anger does far more harm to you than to the other person, robbing you of your peace and sleep.


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Cons: Anger Can Cause You To React Impula

Cons: Anger Can Cause You To React Impula

  • Sometimes people can be impulsive when they’re angry. This includes saying things they don’t mean and being hurtful to the other person. Taking space and committing to revisiting the situation at a later time when your anger levels have reduced can be productive in some situations.

The intensity of your emotions may reduce with time. This can give you time to process your emotions, think about the situation more deeply, and see if your emotional reaction or position on the situation changes with time.


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Cons: Anger Is Not Something To Avoid

Cons: Anger Is Not Something To Avoid

  • It is important to note that anger can be a natural response—often a valid one—to a difficult situation. It is a valuable emotion that you must give yourself and the people around you permission to feel; it is not something to avoid.

It is fine to feel angry and you don’t need to feel pressure to cap the length of your anger, which could only cause it to arise in other situations. Instead of focusing on your anger, it may be more helpful to focus on the trigger or stimulus for the emotion.


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Should You Follow This Rule?

Should You Follow This Rule?

According to Dr. Romanoff, the “Never go to bed angry” rule does not work in a one-size-fits all manner. Whether or not you should follow it depends on many factors, such as the cause of your anger, your temperament, and the circumstances. 


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Tips From Dr.Romanoff

Tips From Dr.Romanoff

  • Communicate: The first step is to try to find a way to communicate with the other person . If it does not seem likely that a resolution will be reached, be honest with each other and hit the pause button on the argument.
  • Use your anger as a guide: Anger can be a useful emotion that can guide you to locate your boundaries, speak to your values, solve problems, and provide information about what you need from the other person


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Tips From Dr.Romanoff

Tips From Dr.Romanoff

  • Commit to finding a resolution: It’s important to commit to resolving the issue instead of merely trying to avoid conflict. This means recognizing the emotions that are behind your anger in order to engage in more honest communication with the other person to move forward.
  • Seek support and comfort: It can be helpful to call a friend and vent about the situation, getting validation or another viewpoint of the situation through their eyes. Distract yourself by doing something comforting, such as baking your favorite dessert, watching your favorite show, or engaging in some self-care.


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