Benny Herlambang's Key Ideas from Stand Out: 5 Key Skills to Advance Your Career
by Debra Stevens

You can find automation everywhere, means robots can do almost everything. Yes they can but not including listen, engage with people or collaborate, and they lack the ability to empathize or inspire. Nowadays, companies not only seek technical skills, but employers are also now clamoring for the capabilities that only humans can bring. As the landscape of work changes, five essential skills – engaging with others, listening deeply, empathizing, collaborating in teams and inspiring people – are becoming both critical and in short supply.

Day 1: Pick two persons that you like to build a connection better; first will be the one that you already have a close relationship and the second is a distant one. Reach, listen and talk with them 10 minutes with each of them.

Day 2: Find some resource to learn about extrovert-introvert, find what you are and how to deal with them. Reach 2 persons with different type, engage, and listen to them to see the differences. Some good place to start reading is: What is an Ambivert? Are You an Introvert, Extrovert or Ambivert? (scienceofpeople.com).

Day 3: Learn on making a first impression. Practice with new people during your day. Easiest way to find a new person to interact is go to a coffee shop that you rarely go and try to interact with the barista. A good book to read about it will be Skill with People by Les Giblin.

Day 4: Learn to become a positive, optimistic person who can serve as a role model. Positive vibes will bring you positive results.

Day 5: Learn techniques to make your conversations more meaningful. Another book by Les Giblin, The Art of Dealing with People is a good place to start.

Day 1: Find someone you consider as a good listener, find what they do different with others. Start doing 3 minutes of silence to observe and hear your surroundings.

Day 2: Learn a bit about personality and how it effect to listening. A good place to start reading is Personality Traits of an Exceptional Listener | Toward Humanity (solari.net.

Day 3: Learn on making a first impression. Practice with new people during your day. Easiest way to find a new person to interact is go to a coffee shop that you rarely go and try to interact with the barista. A good book to read about it will be Skill with People by Les Giblin.

Day 4: Learn to become a positive, optimistic person who can serve as a role model. Positive vibes will bring you positive results.

Day 5: Learn techniques to make your conversations more meaningful. Another book by Les Giblin, The Art of Dealing with People is a good place to start.

Research shows empathy also has bottom-line benefits, including boosts to productivity, customer loyalty and recommendations.

Day 1: Reflect on your current understanding of empathy and begin a daily practice of stopping occasionally to become aware of what you’re feeling.

Day 2: Had you ever heard MBTI test? Find out whether you are towards F-feeling or T-thinking. Check it on Thinker (T) or Feeler (F)? Key Differences (personalityjunkie.com).

Day 3: Reflect on the ways empathy differs from sympathy.

Day 4: Find a trusted person to give you feedback on your empathy and non-verbal communication, as body language is an important one.

Day 5: GROW model is usually used for coaching, while it also can be user to build a relationship. Find about it on The GROW Model of Coaching and Mentoring - Skills From MindTools.com.

In five days, you can increase your ability to manage conflict, your skill in giving helpful feedback and other essential components of collaboration.

Day 1: Check your teams, what values/qualities they bring to your team. Then get someone to give you feedback about yours.

Day 2: Find your team collaboration style, is it towards an organized one or a flexible adaptive one. Schedule routine gathering (virtually also works) to build your relationship.

Day 3: Learn on managing conflict. Reflect what conflict had occurred in the past and how you and team deals with it. Find something that you can improve. Find some facts here: 5 Conflict Management Styles every Manager Must Know [Guide] (valamis.com)

Day 4: Boost your skills in giving feedback by learning to “feed forward”: Focus on the future rather than the past. A long read but worth it: Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback.

Day 5: Add to your collaboration skills by watching Simon Sinek’s TED Talk on purpose and learning about Edward de Bono’s “thinking hats” approach to running meetings.

Honing your ability to inspire people will also enhance your personal life, as you’ll become better able to encourage and motivate your friends and family.

Day 1: Reflect on your self-limiting beliefs about your capacity to inspire, and reframe them in a positive way.

Day 2: Learn about the various personality types and the influencing strategies they tend to respond to. Draw a network diagram of the people who matter in your professional life, and choose two people from it to focus on. For each, select a key action in developing the relationship, and start working toward it.

Day 3: See the very first paragraph? It’s an example of 3 P’s; Pull-asking a question to get attention, Push-share some fact, and share the Potential value you may receive after reading this idea. Use the same principle of 3 P’s.

Day 4: Find David J.P. Phillips’s TED Talk about story telling. Learn from it.

Day 5: Try to apply it in a well prepared presentation; learn your audience, write your core message, use the 3 P’s, rehearse and got some feedback.

For people who hold a fixed mind-set, making a mistake or receiving constructive feedback can seem like a nightmare, because these individuals feel helpless to improve. For someone with a growth mind-set, making a mistake or receiving feedback might still feel uncomfortable, but it’s not the end of the world. These individuals regard mistakes and constructive criticism as opportunities to develop and grow

Don’t wait until your company run a training, workshop or sessions. Practical 5 days is very simple to do by yourself. The exercises will require you to take steps outside your comfort zone, and in the process, you’ll see that you really can change your thoughts and build your skills. Keeping a journal of your development will help reinforce your growth mind-set and give you momentum for action.